I once saw a married woman asking questions on the Internet. Should the woman have children after divorce?
She is in a dilemma. If she wants to have children, it will be difficult for her to give them a good life. Her life with children alone is doomed to be hard, but without children, she may not be able to live a quiet life.
When marriage is unhappy, women can't always be chic. Divorce is just two words, but it is a burden that affects yourself and your child's life.
Fang Cheng, a reader, divorced her ex-husband twice, hoping to preserve a childhood happiness for her children through her own compromise.
When she divorced for the first time, Fang Cheng was still 33 years younger and her child was only 4 years old. At the time of divorce, the ex-husband and ex-mother-in-law resolutely refused to give her custody of the children. Her choice is either to go alone or to continue to endure in her marriage.
Fang Cheng hasn't had a job since she got married. She put all her energy and efforts on her children. Divorce means separating her from her children, just like cutting her flesh.
Fang Cheng's cruel divorce, less than half a year after the divorce, still can't let go of the children. Under the persuasion of relatives and parents, she remarried her ex-husband.
Remarried, her greatest hope is to mend her marriage with her ex-husband and give her children a happy home.
Fang Cheng can't forget the dim eyes of the child in the half year after she left, and can't accept the crying of the child every time she sees her.
Since becoming a mother, women can no longer live only for themselves.
Fang Cheng's tolerance for children did not lead to a new beginning of marriage.
They divorced for the first time because Fang Cheng's husband was violent. During several quarrels, Fang Cheng's husband was very lazy and lazy. After they got married, they had no savings and no life plan.
When she remarried, Fang Cheng wondered whether divorce could make her husband change a little, control his temper and work hard for his family.
Psychologically speaking, the sum of a person's psychological characteristics constitutes a person's personality, which affects a person's thoughts, emotions and behaviors and is stable.
That's why there is a popular saying that a leopard cannot change his spots. A person with a personality problem will influence his personality through his views, understanding and knowledge of things.
It is difficult for a person to completely change his personality. Shortly after Fang Cheng remarried, the contradiction with her husband gradually returned to the state before divorce.
After work, Fang Cheng's husband seldom goes home, often goes drinking with friends, and quarrels with Fang Cheng when he comes back drunk. Before the divorce, he thought Fang Cheng was more assertive. After remarriage, Fang Cheng insisted on the choice of divorce, which made him always bear a grudge. He felt that Fang Cheng didn't have him in his heart and looked down on him.
It seems that the divorce is Fang Cheng's fault, but Fang Cheng always wants to get rid of him, which makes him both humiliated and sad, and he has another reason for the other party to do it.
When she remarried, Fang Cheng's expectations of her husband were still unfulfilled, and marriage became an unacceptable existence, which hurt her all the time.
In a troubled marriage, divorce is not the solution. Fang Cheng's remarriage is not even as good as before the divorce. For a woman whose children come back, marriage will be a chicken feather, and sooner or later, she will be disappointed again and see the reality clearly.
After three years of remarriage, Fang Cheng divorced again. This time, the child is older, but she still can't live without her mother's life, and she still can't take the child away.
It is difficult for some women who have suffered a lot in marriage to live a relaxed life. If they live an easy life, their children will face pain. If they want their children to have the warmth of home, women must put up with it.
Is there no way out? When Fang Cheng divorced, she cried very sadly, and the child held her and wouldn't let her go.
"I'm sorry, son. Mom wants to give you a complete home, but it's hard for her." With this sentence, Fang Cheng embarked on his way home.
Whether marriage is good or not is no longer in her heart. What a mother wants to do most after divorce is to send her children as much happiness as possible through her own efforts.
Children are a woman's weakness when she wants to divorce, but they are also her strong backing after divorce.
After the first divorce, Fang Cheng was still regretting and depressed for marrying the wrong person, and kept asking herself how she divorced and how her life and marriage failed. The divorce was a blow to her at that time.
After the second divorce, she suddenly stopped questioning the injustice of fate, stopped thinking about why she loved the wrong person, stopped being devastated by her divorce, and stopped thinking that she might never get married.
Does she become strong, or because there are children waiting for her, she must make herself strong.
Her life has been fragmented, and children should not be made to bear the consequences for her choices. She wants to make herself capable as soon as possible, bring her children to her side and make up for them to the maximum extent.
Divorce may knock down a woman, but not a mother.
After the divorce, Fang Cheng went to work as quickly as possible, saved money desperately, studied hard, and tried to do all kinds of profitable part-time jobs. At one time, many friends thought that she was short of money, and they promoted various products when they met.
What keeps her strong all the time is the phrase "Mom, I don't hate you, I love you" that children say every time they talk to her on the phone.
There will always be rewards for efforts, and efforts will also change. Fang Cheng's business ability has improved rapidly, and he has quickly changed from a small white worker in the workplace to a group leader who can cope with many tasks and jobs. With certain economic ability and knowledge, Fang Cheng finally won the child custody lawsuit.
Today, she still insists on the road of struggle, not for anything else, but hopes that through her own struggle, she can give her children a more stable life and supply the love that his families lack.
When there is no room for marriage to be redeemed, the biggest obstacle for a woman standing at the crossroads of divorce is her child, but it is not the child that hinders her, but her love for the child that makes her have to be in a dilemma, but the healthy growth of the child makes her have to choose carefully.
Every mother who is strong for her children is great, and every woman who works hard for her children after divorce is great. Your children will always get more love because of your efforts, live their own lives and give back your warmth.