Don't love deliberately. What should I do if my husband is too cold after delivery?
It is often said that the maternal husband is very wronged because his wife is completely devoted to her children and her sexual interest is greatly reduced. I'm afraid she won't be able to go back to her husband and wife life for half a year. However, a "hot post" recently posted on a health forum has caused a lot of discussion.
Miss Wen said that for the safety of the baby, she and her husband have never had sex since they were pregnant. When the child was three months old, she felt that she could resume her sexual life, but her husband always made excuses to refuse. "Either he is tired or I need to keep the wound. It's too noisy, everyone rarely does it once, and they can't find their previous passion. " Miss Wen said that she almost collapsed, and many netizens were filled with indignation, so they consulted Miss Wen and her husband.
"The more reluctant, the more complaining, the more noisy, the more deadlocked." Experts say that no matter what causes the husband's "sexual apathy", it should not be too entangled. "Treat him with indifference, tolerance and even gentleness. Naturally, the husband will return to normal family life. This probability can reach more than 95%. "
One of the analysis:
Pressure made him reluctant to have sex.
Zhou Xing, director of the Department of Urology and Andrology of the Second Affiliated Hospital of Guangzhou Medical College, believes that the pressure brought by having children is one of the reasons why men's interest in sex life decreases after giving birth to their wives. "It is necessary to be busy with the work of the unit and take care of the family, which has added a heavy burden to the economy. If the family situation is not very good, the pressure on men is even greater. Physical and psychological fatigue will make men unwilling to have sex. Even if it is barely done, it is difficult to return to the state before pregnancy. "
Performance: busy all day, not talking much, falling asleep soon after going to bed, I can see that I am very tired. It's not that there is no requirement for sex, just occasional thoughts. When I want to do it, I often feel weak in the middle, or I can't get an erection at all. These men are more prone to temporary sexual dysfunction because they can't be calm inside.
Countermeasure: The wife need not worry about fear, let alone make a mountain out of a molehill. What is most needed at this time is understanding and tolerance, not deliberately making love, not to think about whether it will affect you for a long time. When a man has sexual needs, his wife actively cooperates. After a period of adjustment, the pressure of life is reduced and the psychological burden is put down, and their sexual life will gradually improve. If the problem still exists after one year, you should seek the help of a doctor.
Analysis 2:
This incident diverted his attention.
"Some husbands have little pressure, and it is not impossible to have a relationship with their wives, but they will always find reasons to refuse, mostly an affair." Zhou Xing said that many men are afraid of their wives' physical deformities, stretch marks and abstinence for too long, so they go out to find girlfriends. Their situation is completely different from that of the first kind of husbands.
Performance: These husbands will be very enthusiastic at home, will suddenly hug their wives, say a lot of sweet words, and even coax their wives to go to bed early. But psychologically, he has no desire to have sex with his wife, so he will find many reasons to avoid his wife's sexual demands. However, if they really want to do it, their sexual function is completely normal, that is, they lack passion and can't cope.
Countermeasures: Men cheat at this time mostly for fun and will not pay too much sincerity. If the wife is entangled in this and takes it seriously, it is likely to force the man to really escape from home and throw himself into the arms of another woman. "Don't blame the noise, and don't make love reluctantly." Zhou Xing believes that it is best to treat her husband with a more indifferent and even gentler attitude than before, say more nice words, share more happy memories, and then experience the happiness of raising children with her husband.
When he feels relaxed and warm at home, there are many things at home that need his participation and implementation, and the sexual life between husband and wife will be normalized with the return of the focus of life. Of course, three months after giving birth, it is necessary for women to make proper self-modification to enhance their "attractiveness".
Doctor's advice to women
It is easy for men to watch porn.
Miss Wen mentioned above, on the one hand, is dissatisfied with her husband's refusal, on the other hand, she is afraid that he will have other secrets when watching porn. In this regard, Zhou Xing said that it is not that men watch porn or have evil thoughts. Many times, they usually just think it's fun and pass the time purely as viewing. Because there are many exciting and changeable contents in pornographic films, men's curiosity can be satisfied.
"But it's like reading a magazine. There is no need to be suspicious and resentful. " In fact, during the period of stopping sexual life before and after delivery, watching porn properly can play a role in relieving desire. (Zhou, Xu Yongyi)