Unhealthy love is manifested in: 1) overestimating each other and idealizing each other's personality; 2) The feeling of being too infatuated and blindly asking the other person to show love is often morbidly exaggerated; 3) lack of consideration and love, only showing their strong possessiveness; 4) Pay attention to the pursuit of appearance.
What is love?
What is love? This is an old and often new topic. Robert Jeffrey Sternberg, a famous American psychologist, put forward a new viewpoint in 1988. His "love ternary theory" holds that although human love is complex and changeable, it is basically composed of three components: motivation, emotion and cognition.
1) Motivation component: The motivation behind love behavior is extremely complicated for human beings. Among them, sexual motivation or sexual drive and corresponding stimulating factors, such as physical appearance between the opposite sex, are one of the important reasons; 2) Emotional components: the emotions belonging to love, besides love and desire, are definitely mixed with other components, the so-called ups and downs of love; 3) Cognitive component: The cognitive function in love is the controlling factor of emotion and motivation.
If motivation and emotion are regarded as current and spark respectively, then cognition is a switch or regulator, which can be appropriately adjusted according to the heat of love fire. According to him, although the forms of love between men and women vary from person to person, they are all interpreted by the mixture of these three components in some way. He further called the love relationship between the sexes with motivation, emotion and cognition as enthusiasm, intimacy and commitment, that is, the relationship between the sexes with motivation as the main factor is enthusiasm, the relationship between the sexes with emotion as the main factor is intimacy, and the relationship between the sexes with cognition as the main factor is commitment and keeping promises. Perfect love should be a combination of the three.
What is a healthy view of love?
According to the pursuit of love in love, psychologists further divide love into healthy and unhealthy categories.
Healthy love is manifested in: 1) not too infatuated, not aggressive, not showing their love possessiveness, and being able to fully respect each other; 2) Giving love to the other person makes you feel happier than asking for love from the other person, and taking the happiness of the other person as your satisfaction; 3) It is the combination of independent personalities.
Unhealthy love is manifested in: 1) overestimating each other and idealizing each other's personality; 2) The feeling of being too infatuated and blindly asking the other person to show love is often morbidly exaggerated; 3) lack of consideration and love, only showing their strong possessiveness; 4) Pay attention to the pursuit of appearance.
People are never isolated in society, but at different stages of life, the emphasis of interpersonal relationships that have an important impact on mental health is also different. For college students, the parent-child relationship, teacher-student relationship and peer group relationship that once had an important influence are giving way to the love relationship between the two sexes. In fact, the significance of love relationship to college students has gone beyond this relationship itself, but as the basis of their self-identity and self-worth