Look at the text below.
"What am I afraid of? 》
I tried to be brave.
I want to stand in front of the boss and the boss, and I can confidently explain my thoughts and point out the mistakes in the company's operation; I want to publish my research in front of expert authority and try my best to prove its correctness; I want to stand in front of everyone, stay calm, talk to Kan Kan and express my views. Many, many I think, I think.
These are my thoughts. What will happen in practice? When I want to speak in front of my boss, I get cold feet. Forget it. Maybe they won't listen to me. When you want to challenge authority, if your research is wrong, you lose your adulthood; When you stand in front of everyone, your hands and feet are shaking, your forehead is sweating, your mind is in a state of confusion, and you don't know what to say. Also, how practical, practical!
Seeing some philosophy of life summarized by others, we often say it is true, but it is too difficult to do it. The question is, how do you know it must be difficult if you haven't done it? Those difficulties, are they really difficult? Nothing in the world is difficult for one who sets his mind to it. As long as you do it, the method is better than the problem, as long as you pursue it yourself. Too many things are over before they start; We were frightened by the difficulties before taking action. Things are difficult, not because we can't do it, but because we dare not do it.
We often flinch before things happen and are inexplicably afraid of something. These days, I often wonder, what am I afraid of? What is the result that I can't bear? Often our answer is, there is nothing to be afraid of. Then why are you afraid to do it? If we are afraid to retreat, we can think of these, ask ourselves these questions and give ourselves an answer. If you can't find anything to be afraid of, go ahead bravely. It is not difficult to move forward. The hard part is that when we are afraid, we don't know that we are afraid, and we don't ask ourselves these questions. Instead, I reflexively find some high-sounding excuses for myself to retreat, such as I am a novice and I can't do it well; For example, he can't do it well after so long, and neither can I. These are superficial phenomena, so we should deeply explore the reasons for our retreat, that is, fear, unconscious fear. At this time, ask yourself what you are afraid of. In fact, it doesn't have to be a result, as long as you realize that you are afraid.
I often wonder what we are afraid of, or what we are afraid of. Once beaten, twice shy. Are you afraid of the rope or the snake? Rope, there's nothing to be afraid of. Snakes, bitten once, seem to have nothing to worry about. What else can they be afraid of? I think what we are afraid of is the imagination of what we are afraid of. Simply put, we are scaring ourselves. Many people are afraid of snakes, and when they see them, they are terrified, their hands and feet are cold, their faces are pale, or they are accompanied by a scream: Is snakes that terrible? You see, many people can use snakes as belts. The snake itself has nothing to be afraid of. What you are afraid of is that the snake may bite you and what will happen after biting you. None of this has happened, and it is unknown whether it will happen, but they already exist in your mind and become your bad memories or imagination. Imagine this thing, great and terrible, which can bring you infinite beauty and endless fear.
How can I not be afraid? I think, just don't imagine, or imagine beautiful things. Imagine that it is just an amplifier, and there is nothing good or bad in itself, just listening to your command. If you think of something beautiful, it will make you better. What you want to be afraid of will make fear even more terrible. When you do something, just follow the direction of it, don't imagine it. Things will never develop exactly in the direction you imagine, and no one knows what will happen in the future. Instead of fantasizing about those scary things, it is better to do the things at hand in a down-to-earth manner.
In addition, we should completely accept ourselves and be sincere. How many of us hold back because things are difficult to do? More often, what we are afraid of is not the thing itself, but what will happen to us in the process of doing things. For example, many times, we are afraid of being laughed at by others, our ignorance and our incompetence. If we are really ignorant and incompetent, then they will laugh right, accept their present situation frankly, try to change and become ignorant and incompetent, and there is nothing to be afraid of. If we are not ignorant and incompetent, why should we care about the ridicule of others? Their taunts won't change me, I just need to do my own thing. These are what we are afraid of and stop us from moving forward, because we don't want to expose our shortcomings to others, for fear that once others know our shortcomings, they will become the object of ridicule. All these fears are because we can't accept ourselves completely and sincerely. Accept yourself completely and sincerely, be yourself, be what you are, and show it frankly; Do what you are good at and strive to improve what you are not good at. Everyone has advantages and disadvantages. I believe you can show off your advantages, but you are not qualified to laugh at others' shortcomings!
Next time, when we encounter something, hesitate or shrink back, we must ask ourselves: What am I afraid of? Try to answer it yourself, and maybe you will know what to do. I suddenly realized that asking myself questions is a good way to beat myself. I should learn to ask questions and get into the habit of asking myself specific questions in specific situations, such as asking myself: What are you afraid of when you are afraid?
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Then consider how to build self-confidence.
Go confidently in the direction you want! Live the life you want. With the encouragement of self-confidence, the law of life will become simple, loneliness will no longer be lonely, poverty will no longer be poor, and vulnerability will no longer be fragile! -[Harvard] Professor henry david thoreau
In our life, we will always meet many unconfident people. They are doing unconfident things every day, but they don't realize it and have no ability to change it. Here are some tips on how to build confidence. If you have the courage to face and stick to your training, you will definitely become a confident person in your study and life in the near future.
Positive self-suggestion, believe that you can do it.
Others can do it, and I believe you can do it; I believe I can do what other students can do. Be good at posting inspiring words on desks and bedside: "I can do it, I can do it, I will do it." "I am the best, I am the best." Meditate several times every morning after getting up and before going to bed. Before speaking, doing things and interacting with people in class, especially when encountering difficulties, you should meditate decisively and repeatedly. In this way, through the self-positive suggestion mechanism, we can stimulate fighting spirit, increase psychological strength and gradually establish self-confidence.
Pay attention to your appearance and keep your mental outlook.
A straight suit will make men solemn, and a long skirt will make girls look beautiful and charming. Therefore, beautiful appearance can be praised and praised by others, which can improve people's mental outlook and self-confidence. Therefore, students with inferiority should pay special attention to learning to dress themselves from head to toe. Before getting up in the dormitory, or between classes, you should look in the mirror more often, keep your hair beautiful and dress neatly and generously. When your appearance is praised by others, your self-confidence will naturally arise.
Choose the front seat.
Have you noticed how the back seats are filled first in various parties? Most people who occupy the back seat hope that they are not "too conspicuous". The reason why they are afraid of being noticed is because they lack self-confidence. Sitting in the front can build confidence. Try to make it a rule. From now on, sit as far away as possible. Of course, sitting in the front will be more conspicuous, but remember that everything that succeeds is conspicuous.
Practice facing others.
A person's eyes can reveal a lot about him. When people don't look into your eyes, you will ask yourself, "What's wrong with him? Is he afraid of me? Is he still a ghost? " Not looking directly into others' eyes usually means: "I feel inferior to others, or I have done or thought of something I don't want you to know;" I'm afraid that as soon as I touch your eyes, you will see through me. "Look each other in the eye and tell them: I am honest and aboveboard, my words are true, and you can trust me completely. You should let your eyes work for you, which will not only increase your confidence, but also win your trust.
Practice speaking in public.
Many people with sharp thinking and high talent can't give full play to their strengths when they participate in the discussion. This is not because they don't want to, but because they lack confidence. They always think, "My words are insignificant and others will not adopt them. If I talk about them, people will think it's stupid. I'd better say nothing. And others may know more than me, and I don't want them to know that I am so ignorant. " Others always say in their hearts: I'm next, and I want to speak, but the previous speaker didn't dare to stand up immediately, so he told himself "next time" and gave the opportunity to others in vain. Speaking positively requires you to have confidence. Once you have an opportunity, you should seize it at all costs. Say what you have to say, no matter what you are saying, as long as you dare to say it, show your confidence. Time and time again, your self-confidence will continue to grow. This is the key to confidence.
grind
Most people know the driving force of laughter, which is a good medicine for lack of confidence. But not everyone can do it. Real laughter can not only cure one's bad mood, but also dissolve the hostility of others. If you smile knowingly at someone, will others be angry with you? Smile, even show your teeth, so you can show how honest you are. But not everyone can do this, especially when you can't laugh sometimes, but you should try to smile.
Speed up by 25%
It is a pleasure to watch people walk. It's much cheaper than watching movies, but it's more enlightening than movies. Many psychologists believe that lazy posture and slow pace are related to unpleasant feelings. But with the help of pace, this mental state can be changed. If you look closely, you will find that those who are hit are dragging their feet and have no self-confidence. And people who have answers, walking in the street is also strutting, it tells people: "I am successful." Walk faster with your head held high, and you will feel your self-confidence growing.
Don't pursue perfection, learn to change your perspective.
Students with low self-confidence always see their own shortcomings, but seldom see their own advantages. Always like to compare one's own shortcomings with others' strengths, which often leads to depression and lack of self-confidence. In fact, we don't have to blame ourselves for our shortcomings all day, but should believe that "since God has given talents, let them be employed!" And "Tian Xingjian, a gentleman strives for self-improvement." Even when you regret your failure, please remind yourself not to be a perfectionist, look at the problem from another angle and turn it into praise. Psychologists tell us that being your own bole, being good at discovering your own advantages and motivating yourself in time will definitely increase your self-confidence.
Learn to praise yourself.
Learn to praise yourself, accept yourself, do not feel inferior, do not feel sorry for yourself, and do not blame yourself. Self-confidence is an important condition for maintaining a happy mood. Self-confidence comes from the correct understanding and evaluation of self, and feeling the appreciation and responsibility of others. Praising yourself properly also helps to enhance self-confidence and happiness. For example, the popular "PR method" abroad (the abbreviation of PRIDE) is to speak out your own advantages for one minute every day, praise yourself in front of the mirror and enhance your self-confidence.
Learn to be kind to others and harmonious interpersonal relationships.
First of all, be good at smiling at teachers and classmates. Smile is a friendly signal, which will bring warmth and joy to others and win their love, so as to win others' initiative to communicate with themselves, get rid of loneliness and loneliness, enrich their hearts, feel comfortable and constantly generate confidence and strength. Secondly, when talking with others, praising others' advantages properly and sincerely will make others feel happy, and others will reciprocate and praise your bright spot, which will make you feel like a spring breeze and greatly increase your confidence. Third, I actively help my roommates and classmates in life and study, and then help others. In this way, I not only won the favor, praise and help of others, but also enhanced my sense of social responsibility. At the same time, self-confidence is not only mobilized, but also sublimated in social interaction.
Actively participate in group activities, not afraid of failure, and consciously hone.
Students with insufficient confidence should take part in various collective activities, and must pay attention to overcoming the bad will qualities such as cowardice and indecision, and cultivate the decisiveness, self-control and toughness of the will. In particular, we should summon up courage and boldly participate in class activities, and then participate in various activities organized by the school. See strange ideas in group activities, learn from others with an open mind, use your brains and brainstorm, try your best to do everything well and stick to your post wholeheartedly. Not afraid of making mistakes, correct them immediately. Don't be afraid of failure. If it fails, start over. Lei Feng put it well: "It is impossible to grow into a big tree without experiencing wind and rain;" It is difficult to turn into steel without exercise. "Step by step, let yourself experience success. The key to experiencing success is to set small goals for yourself. For example, listen carefully in class, finish your homework on time, review your lessons regularly and so on. When each sub-goal is completed, reward yourself, such as watching TV for a while, listening to a beautiful piece of music, eating an apple, buying a long-awaited book and so on. In this way, through the realization of one sub-goal after another, we will get closer and closer to success. The formulation of small goals can make you feel progress obviously, experience success more easily, and enhance your self-confidence at the same time.
Many losers just made the same mistake. They turn a blind eye to their own treasures, but they try their best to envy others and imitate them. As everyone knows, success is actually going your own way with confidence. -Professor rachel carson.
The above articles are all quoted from Jane and Park's website.