Whether an elderly person dies at home or in a hospital is very different between urban and rural areas. After all, the living space in the city is small, and the death of the old man is a big event. As a rural person, I'm not sure which is better.
However, in our rural area, the death of the elderly in the hospital is the most taboo. Because once he died in the hospital, the body was blocked from entering the village and could not enter his own yard. In other words, as long as the old man has a breath and enters his home, the villagers will basically come to see him for the last time. Otherwise, we have to set up a mourning tent to park outside the courtyard, set up a mourning hall to worship and set up a tent to do things. Despite this, the children still have regrets and guilt, and they will also fall into the reputation of unfilial in the village.
As a result, the condition of the elderly in hospital has not improved, so the family members made old clothes at home early, cleaned up the house and yard, and specially burned the heatable adobe sleeping platform where the elderly lived. When the doctor is diagnosed as "in this day or two", he will take the old man home; Some elderly people are in an emergency, and the doctor will give them a "shot in the arm" and the ambulance will send them back. In this way, my father-in-law injected a "shot in the arm", and he was carried when he entered the house, and he died the next morning.
Before the old man dies, there are old people in the village or people who know the "rules" in this respect. They can shave their heads, comb their hair and get dressed, and they can also finish some "old rules" after the old man dies, unlike in the hospital, where they set up a mourning hall immediately. Let the old man "drive the crane west".
It depends. My child's grandfather was ill for more than ten years, and stayed in bed for the last three months. He didn't go to the hospital when he left. At that time, if he went to the hospital, his whole body was full of tubes and he was waiting in the hospital, so my mother-in-law finally decided not to send him to the hospital. Because he was in the countryside and his home was spacious, he handled the funeral according to the local rural customs. However, my mother was ill for many years. She didn't stay in bed. She was sent to the hospital on the morning of the first day of this year and died in the hospital. Because the house in the city was small and the floor was high, she finally booked a 22,-day mourning ceremony at the funeral home, which was well handled. Even if her old man didn't go back to his hometown, she could understand it. After all, the house in the city can only be like this now, and they all left peacefully! This is very gratifying!
I can answer this question as a experienced person.
In rural areas, most elderly people want to die at home, not in the hospital.
There is an unwritten rule for the rural elderly. When they are old, they should pay attention to returning to their roots and die. They don't want to be "lonely souls and wild ghosts" who can't find their homes outside.
My mother died at the age of 79. She has always been in good health. She has been strong all her life and loves to work. She has always relied on her good health to keep silent about everything and never stopped working. Because she was ill, she was weak. Later, I saw that something was wrong with her and went to the hospital. Three days later, the doctor said that there was no therapeutic value, so I had better go home and take care of the aftermath. At that time, I was young and I couldn't accept going home. After we went home with an oxygen bag, my mother died that night.
In the old house, my mother walked peacefully, calmly, with wrinkles all over her face, instantly stretching and fine eyes. Although I can't accept my mother's death until now, the moment when she drove the crane west will always be fixed in my mind. I heard that the old man who passed away like this is happy.
My father died at the age of 94. When my father was alive, he was most worried that he couldn't stay at home when he died. Therefore, in the last few years, none of our four sisters went to his house, saying that they were afraid of rushing to his house. They only took turns to live in the two brothers' house for a month, but my second brother's family was in the county town, more than ten miles away from his home. It was his last wish to go to his second brother's house. Only then could I take the opportunity to pick him up for a few nights. My father was old. He fell down at night and fell into a coma. When we were in the hospital, the doctor said he was dying and wanted to stay in the ICU. At that time, considering my father's age and actual situation, we refused to enter the ICU, so that the doctor could treat him conservatively and try to alleviate my father's pain.
On the second day of hospitalization, my father was in a critical condition. The doctor gave a critical notice, canceled the treatment, dressed my father in all his dead clothes, and took my father home with pain. I suddenly wanted to touch my father's hand halfway, but it was still warm and soft when I touched it. (I clearly remember that my mother was stiff for a while). I quickly told my brothers and sisters that I realized that my father was waiting to go home. Being outside all the time was his taboo in recent years. He was holding on to the last breath, although he couldn't feel his pulse. But he still insists.
It's more than ten miles away. After I got home and settled my father, I went to touch my father's hand, and his old man was at rest.
Lenovo: Our village was demolished this year. My elder brother and sister-in-law said that many people cried, especially the old people. They all said that there was no nest when they were old, and there was no place to hold a corpse. I was very sad and sad when I heard that. At the same time, I feel a little relieved for my father. If my father was built in, I don't know what he would be worried about losing his old nest.
Many old people who worked in the city when they were young will go back to their hometown when they are old, and enjoy their old age. When they are dying, they will see them in their hometown yard after wave, which may be the best memory of the dying old people.
There is an old saying in the countryside: "A golden nest and a silver nest are not as good as your own earth nest". Perhaps it is the most appropriate answer to this question! I fell to the ground and turned to rain. I hope my answer will arouse everyone's * * *.
At the beginning of 213, my mother suddenly felt as if something was blocked in her chest, which made her feel very uncomfortable, so I took her to the hospital for a check-up. After examination, it was diagnosed as "heart failure".
After more than 1 days of hospitalization, my mother felt that she had recovered, so I discharged her.
however, after less than three months, my mother felt uncomfortable in her chest again, so I took her to the hospital again. The doctor said that this is the mother's "heart failure" again.
I suddenly felt a little strange, so I asked the doctor privately, "Didn't you get cured in the last hospitalization?" Why did it happen again in less than three months? "
The doctor patiently explained, "Your mother has a heart enlargement disease, which is medically called' heart failure'. This disease is irreversible and is terminally ill. "
I am unwilling to ask, "Can't my heart be swollen?"
The doctor further explained: "Your mother's heart is like a ball that has been fully inflated. If it is swollen, it is like a ball that has deflated, and the whole heart will lose its function of pumping blood. If the swelling continues, it will cause respiratory failure, which will be life-threatening. What we can do now is to delay the progress of the disease as much as possible and prolong the survival period. "
As soon as I heard this, I was anxious and asked the doctor, "How long can my mother's condition last?"
the doctor said, "maybe a few years, maybe a few months, maybe, in short, it is very dangerous."
The doctor's words are very positive, but because my mother's health is still strong, and I never thought that my mother would leave me so soon. Therefore, I am dubious about what the doctor said.
this time, after more than 1 days of treatment, my mother's illness eased again, and my mother asked to leave the hospital. Seeing my mother like this, I had to ask the doctor for advice.
The doctor said, "Your mother's illness is just like this. She thinks it's okay to leave the hospital, so let her leave the hospital. Living in the hospital, we have no other way. After returning, if she feels uncomfortable, come back to the hospital! "
after hearing what the doctor said, I had to discharge my mother.
This time, after living at home for just over a month, my mother felt uncomfortable with her heart again, and I rushed her to the hospital. After treatment, the mother's condition was controlled again, so she was out of the hospital again.
after a while, my mother felt sick again, so I had to send her to the hospital again.
Since then, after four or five times of hospital discharge, the frequency of mother's going in and out of the hospital has become faster and faster. I went in and out of the hospital once in the first two or three months, and then I went in and out of the hospital only one month later. The time has unconsciously arrived in November 213, and my mother has been ill for nearly a year. At this time, my mother was admitted to the hospital again.
Perhaps I felt that my mother's days were numbered, so my eldest brother called us brothers and said, "My mother's illness is getting worse and worse. I think it's better to take some medicine back to eat, and don't let her stay in the hospital all the time.
What Big Brother said means is that according to our local custom, it's unlucky to transport an old (dead) person back outside, which is a "cold corpse" (please forgive my disrespect for my mother) and enter the house. And if you die at home, it's a "hot funeral", and my mother is almost 8 years old, which is a "white wedding" and others won't gossip.
when I heard this, I couldn't help but get angry. Without waiting for the other two brothers to make a statement, I said loudly, "This is absolutely impossible! I can't watch my mother die at home! Be sure to let your mother die in the hospital! "
The other two brothers saw that I was angry and just kept silent.
when I saw my brothers were silent, I realized that I was too impulsive, so I explained to them.
I said that although my mother's illness was incurable, she didn't know it (we kept it from her, and she thought she had a common heart disease), and she always thought she could be cured. Therefore, she has been holding the hope of life and actively cooperating with the treatment. In addition, although my mother is seriously ill, her thinking has always been clear. If we put her at home to take medicine now, she will surely fall into fear and despair immediately. On the one hand, she thinks that she is terminally ill, and if she can't be cured, she will fall into the fear of "death"; On the other hand, my mother will think that she has raised so many children, and now she is ill, and she won't let me go to the hospital. Isn't this letting me "wait for death" at home? If this is the case, my mother will be desperate for our children before she dies, and she has failed her parenting! How can those superstitious things compare with other people's gossip?
after listening to my explanation, it seems that my brothers finally burst into flames and agreed to let their mother stay in hospital until she died in the hospital.
at 11 o'clock in the evening on December 7, 213, my mother died peacefully in the hospital more than 2 days after she was admitted to the hospital for the last time.
that day, I cooked dinner and sent it to my mother's ward at 6 o'clock in the afternoon. At that time, my mother was sitting in the hospital bed talking to my father. Although she looked a little weak, her mental state was not bad.
I greeted my father for dinner while feeding my mother.
This meal, my mother just took a few symbolic bites and couldn't eat any more, so I gave my mother some water to drink. After that, my mother made me go back early.
I looked at the time, and it was only after 7 o'clock in the evening. He said to his mother, I'll sit for a while and then go back.
after about 1 minutes, my mother fell asleep with heavy breathing (maybe my mother was in a coma at that time, because of this sleep, my mother never woke up, but I don't know).
I called "Mom" several times, but my mother didn't respond except for the heavy breathing. I saw my mother breathing heavily, but the frequency of breathing seemed normal, and I thought she was asleep.
I said to my father, Mom is asleep, so I'll go back, and I'll bring dinner tomorrow. Remember to call me if you have something to do tonight.
father said, ok.
when I got home, because I was tired, I washed a little and went to bed alone (my wife went to visit the children who were studying that day).
just as I was sleeping in a daze, the phone at the bedside rang. When I picked up the phone, I saw that it was my father calling, and I immediately felt bad.
I picked up the phone and heard that it was the accompanying family member who lived in the same ward as my mother. I only heard him say on the phone that your mother was dying and was being rescued. Please come here quickly. As soon as I heard this, I got up quickly, got dressed, and quickly glanced at the time. At this time, it is more than 11: 5 in the evening.
Then, I rushed to the hospital as quickly as possible (the hospital is close to my home, less than 1 minutes' walk). At this time, the doctor is in the ward to rescue my mother urgently.
however, no matter how hard the doctor tried, my mother left after all.
Although my mother died suddenly, she walked peacefully!
neither my father nor I, including my mother, expected that she would leave that night.
without pain and fear, my mother walked in her sleep.
Although my mother didn't leave any words before she left because of her sudden death, I think it's worth it. Because from beginning to end, my mother thought she was still alive, so she didn't tell us about the aftermath. Although there are some regrets, I don't want my mother to leave after she confessed in despair.
Mother's peaceful death should be her blessing!
from my experience, if the elderly at home are really seriously ill and hopeless, we can choose to put him (her) in the hospital for maintenance treatment and let him (her) die peacefully in the hospital. This has the following advantages:
First, it can prevent the old people from dying in fear. Most people are born with the fear of death, especially the elderly.
Let the old man die in the hospital, he will feel that the doctor has not given up, and he still has hope, which can effectively alleviate or even completely avoid (like my mother) the old man's fear of death before his death.
Second, avoid misunderstanding of children by the elderly. As the saying goes, raise children to prevent old age. Especially when a person is old and sick, his dependence on his children is particularly strong. It can be said that there is no old man who doesn't want his children to save him after he is ill.
Therefore, when an old man has an incurable disease, if his children choose to let him die at home, the old man is likely to feel that it is useless to have more children. Perhaps, the old man will not say it, but his heart will be full of disappointment. It is even very likely that his children are letting him stay at home and "wait for death". And if the old man dies in the hospital, all misunderstandings can be avoided.
third, you can make yourself feel at ease. Although it is said that life and death are involuntary. However, do your best to let the old man die peacefully. I think this is the wish of every child. As a hospice, the hospital is the best place for the elderly to die peacefully. Therefore, choosing to let the elderly die in the hospital can best reassure the children.
Of course, if the old man insists on choosing to leave the fallen leaves and return to the roots and doesn't want to "die" in the hospital, we must naturally obey the wishes of the old man and let him die at home.
In addition, the old man has fallen into a coma, so it is meaningless to stay in the hospital. Naturally, we can also consider letting him leave his leaves and return to his roots and die peacefully at home.
That's my answer to this question. Do you agree?
The title should be: Is it better for the elderly to die at home? still