Jokes
Classic Joke: Terror in the Park On Sunday, Lan Ling, a first-year student, was invited to go to East Lake Park with her classmate Mei Lin. The two of them happily bought tickets and came to the park. They had been here a few times before, but now they hadn't been here for a long time. Mei Lin is Lan Ling's good friend, she found Lan Ling recently depressed, so she wanted to accompany her to take a break. They wandered around the park for a while, and found that the previously empty park has added a lot of new garden in the garden, the signage set up in the garden by the side of the path, written on it are the gods and ghosts of the pool, Liaozhai Palace, Paradise Road, the regional gate, and so on, each venue has a brief introduction, very attractive. Despite this, not many people came to visit the park. Lan Ling and Mei Lin thought it was better this way to avoid the chaos.
They arrived at the Paradise Road gate and asked about the admission fee. The first time I saw this, I was so happy to see you. Meilin thought for a moment and replied: Alas, since we came, we will have a good time, how about I pay for it? You tell me where to play. See Lan Ling did not answer, Mei Lin smiled and asked: "regional door" how to see what in the end inside the new stuff? Lan Ling heard asked Mei Lin: you are not afraid? Mei Lin said: Hey! What's there to be afraid of, it's all fake, just watch and play. Okay then, Lan Ling replied. So the two of them came together to the "regional door" tour area located deep in the forest.
This is a two-story building, very old, was originally a small movie theater, then turned into a game room, now was renovated and designed into the current "territory gate". Two people stood in front of the Hell Gate, see the opposite wall was painted black and gray, the entrance was designed strange and bizarre, three big black cursive 'Hell Gate' is not written on the wall, but written on the ground slope in front of the door. Although it was daytime, this design made people feel eerie and scary.
Meiling bought two tickets and walked with Lanling towards the gate, they both went up the steps, when a man came out from inside, Lanling noticed that the middle-aged man looked a bit unusual, and the other person also looked at her, and that peculiar look made her feel puzzled. The man paused for a moment and then walked away. Lanling can not help but slow down the pace, Mei Lin did not pay attention to the man, she saw Lanling pause, thought she was timid, and said: What's the matter Lanling, quickly go ah, said while pulling up Lanling's arm, and walked into the strange and strange "hell door" together.
After entering the inside, the front is a section of the slope, down the slope, the surrounding lights become very dim, on both sides of the huge teeth and fangs of the dummies appeared, her body next to each other, slowly towards the depths of the walk, and felt that everything inside is very eerie, just like really into the hell, although the environment is fictional, but because of the sparse number of tourists, so the two are feeling very nervous.
They wandered around for a while, feeling like the end of the road, at this time, in front of the appearance of a false stone door, only to see the door written above the "Yanwang Hall" three words. Lan Ling asked Meilin: We are about to see the King of Hell, right? Mei Lin replied: this sounds a bit awkward! Lan Ling smiled slightly and asked: still go in? Mei Lin said: Of course, what are you afraid of! Let's go.
Lan Ling followed Mei Lin carefully into the "Hall of Hades", inside the guest layout is quite complex, not seen by other visitors. Here there are high and low steps, as well as the ancient screen barriers, not only is the light dark, but also, the lighting equipment are hidden or camouflaged, making it difficult for visitors to determine the location of the light source. Thus, it accentuates the mysterious color of this inside!
The two went up a few steps around a screen, opposite a statue of Yama, dimly lit, Yama is sitting on a chair, face slightly with a smile, two eyes like looking at them. Lan Ling looked down, could not help but exclaim: ah! You see which -, Meilin along with Lan Ling gaze, see before the ground lying a person, in a careful one, can not help but blurt out: Oh! That is a dummy ah! See you scared. Lan Ling relieved: who touched it down? Mei Lin did not answer, slowly walking forward, Lan Ling followed closely behind Mei Lin, they are closer and closer to the dummy on the ground, suddenly Lan Ling body backward, exclaimed: ah ah! He is moving! Mei Lin carefully looked at the ground dummy said: no ah, do not be alarmed Chad, dummy move what ah! At this time, Mei Lin saw Lan Ling's eyes straight, and then said to her, you are really small! Lan Ling said softly: Forget it, let's go out. You're not going to play? Mei Lin said, that's fine, said she took Lan Ling's hand toward the outside. Lan Ling followed her closely, it seems that Lan Ling is really scared, because she felt Lan Ling's hands sweating, trembling. As she walked, Meiling suddenly stopped and bent down. What's wrong? Lan Ling asked in horror. In the dimness she saw Meilin pick up something from the ground. Mei Lin straightened up and handed the object to her and said, Look. Lan Ling subconsciously took it and looked at it, it looked like a pocket watch, she said: whoever lost it. Maybe, come on, said Merlin, let's give it to the janitor. Soon the two were out of the 'Hellmouth' together.
As soon as the two came out, they saw the caretaker yelling at a man, Lanling looked and saw that the man was the same suspicious man they had seen when they came in. That's when they heard the man say: I did lose something inside, let me go in and look for it. The janitor said righteously: I that remember you ah, no ticket can not go in. Meilin saw the man to lose his temper, hurriedly went forward and politely asked: uncle, you dropped something? The man looked at her and said: Well ~ is a very expensive pocket watch, you see? Hearing this, Mei Lin reached out to Lan Ling and said: Give it to me. Lan Ling then realized that due to her nervousness her hand was holding the watch tightly. Mei Lin took the watch and handed it to the man and asked: Is this it? The man looked at it and hurriedly replied: Yes, yes, this is it, thank you! The man took the watch and said, "That's great, thank you so much! Mei Lin said: Oh, no need to thank! After saying that, he took Lan Ling and walked towards the park gate. Out of the park gate, Lan Ling inadvertently suddenly realized that the man just behind them not far away, as if it is intentionally follow them as if, her mood can not help but tense up. What's wrong? Meilin asked Lan Ling after seeing it. I ~ ~ ~ Lan Ling stammered, eyes began to straighten, she stared at the corner not far away, open-mouthed and motionless. Seeing this, Mei Lin asked after her: What's wrong with you? Lan Ling slightly raised her arm and pointed to the corner and said: There is a dummy on the ground there! That's the one in the 'Hell Gate'. Mei Lin took a look and said: No. At this time, she saw Lan Ling's face pale, some unsteady, Mei Lin hurriedly Lan Ling support. At this time a sedan stopped in front of them, inside the person poked his head out and asked Mei Lin: what happened? Mei Lin look, is the man who just lost the watch, said: she is again guilty of the same old thing. The man said: I send her to the hospital, help her get on the car. Mei Lin opened the rear door, Lan Ling confused with her into the man's car. In the car, Lanling felt a headache, she thought it was to send her home, so she closed her eyes and leaned on Mei Lin's body. At this point, Meilin still felt Lanling twitching, so she comforted: Don't be nervous, it's okay.
After a while, Lan Ling felt the car stopped, she slowly broke her eyes, a look outside the car, is a strange compound, can not help but ask: Where is this? The man driving the car replied: this is my clinic, I am a doctor, I want to help you check. Check! Lan Ling panicked, she hesitantly asked: check what? I'm not checking, Meilin, take me away. Mei Lin said to her: I have been to this clinic, you do not feel well, let him give you a look, said to help Lan Ling out of the car, the man who claimed to be a doctor also got out of the car. Lan Ling asked Meilin: You know him. Mei Lin replied: I remember, he gave me a sick. The man said as he walked away, follow me. Mei Lin took Lan Ling's arm and said: Trust me, let's go. Lan Ling reluctantly followed Mei Lin and followed the man into the house. After entering the house, the man said to them: you sit down and wait for me, a moment, finished, he went into another room.
Lan Ling was sitting with Mei Lin, very nervous, she asked Mei Lin: He is really a doctor? He really showed you the disease? Meilin said: a thousand times really, he is a doctor with excellent medical skills. Lan Ling said: but I did not bring much money, I heard that the experts to see a doctor, to spend a lot of money ah, and, I'm also an old disease, no one can not see. Mei Lin said to her: will not, we did not also help his favor, and there I have that, the money matter you do not worry. As he was saying, the man from the inner room called: you come in. Lan Ling followed Mei Lin into the house. Lanling saw a strange instrument in the room. The man asked her to sit in front of the instrument, and then slowly pushed a cover to her head, Lan Ling took a look and suddenly exclaimed: No. I'm not sick! I'm not sick! I'm not checking! She screamed as she was about to get up. The man gently held her down and said: Don't be nervous, this is just an advanced medical scanner, please don't worry, it won't hurt you in any way and it will only take a few minutes to complete, please sit still. After the man finished speaking, he once again moved that hood over Lan Ling's head, Lan Ling was nervous but she cooperated. She closed her eyes up, thinking, Let's just let it happen. However, the man insisted that she open her eyes, and began to examine her. After a few minutes had passed, the man sighed and said, Okay, Mei Lin, take her to the outer room and wait, and said that he walked towards the table. Lan Ling followed Merlin outside, and she was surprised: this doctor knew Merlin's name. But Lan Ling did not say anything. Just like that, after a while, the man came out, holding a diagnosis in his hand, and said to Lan Ling: you are indeed sick. Lan Ling was nervous when she heard this, and her face reddened all of a sudden. The man added: However, it's not a psychological disorder, much less a mental illness, but a visual hallucination caused by your optic neuropathy. This kind of disease is very peculiar, but as long as it is diagnosed, it can still be cured. In the past few years, the reason why you would have such and such illusions is not only because you are timid, but the fundamental reason lies in the abnormality of your optic nerve, which leads to the visual hallucinations caused by the scenes that you have seen, which you consider to be very scary, staying in the area of your optic nerve lesion and unable to be cleared up, whereas for a person with a normal optic nerve, even if you have seen even more scary scenes, you won't have this kind of symptom. I have heard that you have been to the doctor before because of visual hallucinations, and were diagnosed by the doctor as a mental illness, this misdiagnosis not only fails to cure your disease, but also adds a painful psychological burden to the patient, and even suspects that he or she is really mentally ill. Lan Ling listened, both eyes shed hot tears. The man handed the diagnosis to Lan Ling. Lan Ling took the diagnosis, excitedly asked, doctor, how do you know my situation? The man replied: my surname is Mei, is Mei Lin's uncle, your situation are all Mei Lin told me. Ah ~~~~ Lanling heard, shocked ah looked at Mei Lin asked: he is your uncle? Is this all arranged by you, right? Mei Lin nodded to her and said: Yes, my uncle is a professor of medicine, he questioned your situation, he asked me to assist him to confirm your diagnosis. Lanling wiped her tears and asked again: then why did you have to let me go to the park, knowing that going inside the Hell Gate is scary, knowing that I'm timid, and letting me go in to be stimulated? At this point, Dr. Mei said: some conditions need to be diagnosed at the onset of the patient, do you remember? In the park Merlin picked up that watch, in fact, that is what I gave her beforehand, is not a watch at all, but a special micro-computer, which can record a variety of information about the human body, including heart rhythm, blood pressure, sweat analysis, brain waves and so on. In this way, when you have an attack, hand over this instrument to you, it will record a variety of information about your body at that time, which is also one of the necessary information for me to confirm your diagnosis. Alright, now I'll send you home. Lan Ling looked at Dr. Mei, so excited that she didn't know what to say, for several years the disease had plagued her, coupled with the doctor's misdiagnosis, it had made her psychologically overburdened, her school grades had dropped, her parents also thought that their daughter had mental problems, Lan Ling also suspected that she had a brain problem, some of her classmates even secretly said that she was mentally ill, all of these had brought her a great deal of additional pain. Now Dr. Mei finally gave a scientific account of her condition and promised to cure her, Lan Ling was touched, she lay on the shoulder of her good classmate Mei Lin and could not help but shed hot tears again.
Classic jokes: the Monkey King apply for evaluation of the title of the report of the Heavenly Realm Title Evaluation Committee:
I, the Monkey King, also known as the Sun Walker, male, unmarried. East China Sea Aorai continent people, from a poor background. Participate in the work of the former living in Mount Huaguo, by the Prince of Wonders introduced, the organization has been appointed to "Pilma Wen" and "Peach Garden Director" and other positions, in charge of the upper boundary of the work of horses and Peach Garden. However, due to serious personal heroism, blind self-worship, always incorrectly positioned, calling himself "Great Sage of Qi Tian", has destroyed the South Heavenly Gate, disrupted the Peach Party, kicked over the alchemy furnace, and spoke out of turn, insulting the leadership authority, the Heavenly Palace property and the lives of the people of heaven constitute a threat. When the heavenly soldiers and generals were ordered to conquer and help and educate me, they were unrepentant and went so far as to confront and go further and further down the wrong path, failing to live up to the organization's care and love for me.
Later, Buddha made me realize that "there is a sky beyond the sky, there are people beyond the sky", I was sentenced to 500 years of imprisonment. During these 500 years, I have faced the wall and repented of my wrongdoings, and resolved to clean up my past with practical actions.
Master Xuanzang of the Tang Dynasty did not discriminate against me because of my "previous convictions", sheltered me as a young man who had lost his way, gave me a second life, and appointed me as the chief disciple of the scriptures of the West, so that I was able to travel with him to visit a number of countries, study visits. On the way to fetch the scriptures, I take a "big disciple" standard strict requirements for themselves, respect the teacher and respect the brother, especially good at helping the backward, such as the lustful and gluttonous comrade Piggy. Charge in front, enjoy in the back, hard work, selfless and fearless, after nine hundred and eighty-one difficulties, and finally assisted the master to retrieve the scriptures, and was appointed as the "Doosan Buddha". He has published academic papers such as "Absolute Privacy - The Woman Behind the Longevity Monk", "The White Bone Demon and I - The Story I Have to Tell", "It Looks Beautiful - Piggyback in My Eyes" and so on. Academic papers, I have been in the newsletter of the heavenly realm of celebrities and other anthologies for many times, and was appointed as an associate professor of the University of Heavenly Palace.
This time, the Nth title evaluation work in the heavenly realm has begun in full swing, and I have been a "deputy" for many years, so I should be transferred to the right position, right? I would like to make an application, is it appropriate? Please organize the evaluation.
The Buddha: Sun Wukong
The Year of the Heavenly Calendar, x month x day
Classic Joke: Dictionary of Poop Tiredness: I fell asleep without realizing it when I had a bowel movement.
Worthwhile: spending fifty cents while pooping in a public restroom at a tourist attraction.
Water conservation: pooping in the woods.
Loopy: standing up after pooping, standing up and wanting to poop again.
Aftermath: after you come out of the bathroom, no one dares to go back in for eight hours.
Stammer: take a rabbit shit.
Snappy: a hammer blow.
Careful: crack a stick before flushing.
Stage fright: always wanting to go poop before a game.
Sharing: pooping with the door open.
Ecstasy: the feeling of a diarrhea after four days of constipation.
Dexterity: the ability to avoid splashing up in the toilet in time.
Sellout: bruises, purple cheeks, and shaking all over.
Haunted: feeling like you've pooped out and there are clearly still marks on the toilet paper, but you can't see anything in the toilet.
Savvy: Never takes time off work to poop.
Habit: Being on time every day and having to poop when it's time.
Drifting: can't poop, but always feels like it.
Lucky: Leaves marks at the bottom of the toilet that look like emergency brakes.
Unlucky: it's over before the pants come down.
Clean: no matter how much you wipe, you can't leave anything on the toilet paper.
Show-off: make sure everyone visits before flushing.
Ghost: There's poop in the toilet, but no one has ever been to the bathroom.
Courage: try to fart when you have a tummy upset.
Naughty: drawing a conch while pooping.
Risky: first flush, toilet fills up, does it flush a second time?
Hypocrisy: acting as if you're pooping, but not actually even letting out a fart.
Foresight: having enough rolls of paper to sit on the toilet immediately after taking a laxative.
Anxious: A family of three all have diarrhea, but there's only one bathroom.
Stubbornness: always floating on the surface of the water, how to flush can not be flushed away.
Sudden: pooping without any mental preparation, e.g., when farting, during a rectal exam, while making out with a loved one ......
Romantic: not being able to poop without music and coffee.
Straightforward: you can tell what you ate yesterday by your poop.
Platitude: three loud farts must precede every bowel movement.
Inferiority complex: wiping an entire roll of paper and still not feeling clean.
Classic joke: 1 1=? One day, the teacher asked Mandy, "1 1 = how many?" He said, "I don't know." "Go ask a family member." The teacher said. Minnie went home and asked his mom, "1 1=how many?" Mom said impatiently, "Get out of here ！！！！！！！！！" Minnie went back to ask his dad, who was watching a soccer game just as a goal went in, "Cool ！！！！" He went back to ask his brother, who was in love and said to his girlfriend on the phone, "I'll wait for you downstairs." The next day, the teacher asked Mandy, "1 1 = how many?" He said, "Get the hell out of here ！！！！！！！！！" The teacher slapped him. He said, "Cool ！！！！！！" The teacher says, "Get the hell out of here ！！！！！！！！！！！" Mandy said, "I'll wait for you downstairs!!!"
Classic joke: the situation has changed Daughter: "Dad, didn't you say auntie is coming today? It's already 9pm, why haven't we seen Auntie's shadow yet?"
Dad: "Auntie is not coming today."
Daughter: "Why?"
Dad: "It's not because your damn mom is coming back from a business trip tonight!"
Classic Joke: I've known you for a long time A guy asked a girl to marry him, and the girl said:
"But we've only known each other for three days, do you know me?"
The young man hastened to say: "Understand, understand, I have long understood you."
"Really?"
"Yes, I've been working in a bank for three years now, and I know exactly how much your father has in savings."
Classic Joke: English Once tutoring a junior high school kid, I found the following horrible words in his English textbook:
Dad die (bus )
Master die (yes )
Brother die (girls)
Sister die (Mis?)
... ...
Dead Light (School)
Classic Joke: Referral "Doctor, people say I'm like a cat when I'm greedy and a wolf when I'm hungry, do you think it can be cured?"
"You'd better go to the veterinary hospital."
Classic Joke: The Three Kingdoms' Feng Yi Ting Incident (Love Story Version) The morning light is bright, and the warbler is crying.
Small bridges and rivers of the realm, the green fat and red thin place, slowly pacing a handsome man, Confucian clothing elegant like scholars, stout like Rex, attitude leisurely like ducks, holding a threadbare "All Tang Poetry" volume, pacing on the bridge to chant:
"Far up the cold mountains and sloping rocky paths, the depths of the white clouds there are homes ... ... ..."
It was more energetic than Mao Ning and more beautiful than Yang Yuying.
Suddenly, the beeper rang, and the man's back was shaken.
The man patted his hand on his waist and whispered, "Messing up." And again, he angled his head and chanted again.
"Far up the cold mountain stone path slanting, white clouds deep there are people ......"
Beeper rang again, the man was annoyed, the back can not go on, said angrily:
"Only the beeper and the villain is difficult to raise. ."
Renewed chanting: "far away on the cold mountain stone path slanting, white clouds in the depths of the family, white clouds in the depths of the ......"
BP machine rang again, the man sighed: "Alas, since the last time and high school classmates Xiaoliu, Xiao Zhang, Xiao Guan they participated in the World Thief Contest, got such a beeper, my old Lu did not have peace of mind, would have responded to the call of the central government to the depths of the white clouds to strengthen the quality, so as not to be said that my old Lu have the courage to not be able to be laid off and shunted that would be a big loss. But I no matter how to run can not run out of the coverage of this gadget, while lifting up the long shirt, pulled out the beeper, read the Chinese characters above the display:
"Quickly call back to Wolvana!"
The phone booth, quaint. In the distance, someone sings the song "Slender Man's Love".
Man with one leg on a stone bench, one hand manipulating the phone, the other holding a book probing into the back of his neck to scratch an itch.
"Hello, Sable Chan? This is Xiao Lu, Lu Bu."
Diaochan took a dip in the pool, surrounded by four attendants waiting on her. Diao Chan held the phone delicately:
"Damn Xiao Lu ah, I paged you all morning, people's central paging station is never wrong, I thought you were picking up pretty girls again and didn't want to pay attention to me!"
Lv Bu heard, panicked: "Heaven and earth conscience, you do not think I have no quality, said what a pig brain simple, limbs developed, for you this sweetheart, the brain is going to explode. This is not just being memorized poetry, memorized to 'far up the cold mountain stone path slanting, white clouds in the depths of the family' how to memorize can not go on."
Diaochan laughed and said, "You are stupid! Isn't the following first 'parking' after 'making love'? Hehe."
Lv Bu is the third generation of "Stealing Chickens and Dogs" teach the master, ghosts in the color of ghosts, wolves in the color of wolves, immortal in the color of immortality, there is no reason not to know: "Wonderful - Wonderful - Wonderful, Sable Chan is smart, Sable Chan smart, Sable Chan smart. -Wonderful, Diaochan smart, Diaochan red than February flowers!"
Diaochan said, "Thank you, Xiao Lu, but also quite good at coaxing women, recently there is no want to me ah, that old undead go to the emperor's office to participate in the national work conference to combat pornography and illegality, it is estimated that for a while and a half will not come back, dear you come over."
Lv Bu a few suspected in a dream, pinched his arm, hastily threw away Gelaozi's "All Tang Poetry", touched and touched the treasure in his pocket, picked up the halberd, assuredly driving up the Red Rabbit 3.0 sedan, speeding towards the Taishi House.
In the back garden of the Taishi Mansion, the sun shone brightly, the wind knocked the leaves of the trees, and butterflies and bees fluttered about in the sunlight, riotous and warm. In the Feng Yi Pavilion by the pool, Diao Chan was the only one left. Diao Chan sat on a lounge chair, wearing a three-point bikini, head down, drinking "Wahaha" pure water, curvy, elegant. Worthy of having written the "Three Kingdoms Baby" beautiful writer and director of the National Association of Beauticians, know how to use the woman's greatest capital, Lu Bu look can not approach, drooling, but he also know how to control themselves, wiped his saliva, and then chanted:
"The poolside of the golden willows, is the sun in the Diaochan waves in the shadow of the colorful, rippling in my heart.
The green floating heart on the soft mud, oily underwater waving; in your soft waves, I am willing to be a water plant! " Sable Chan as if she did not hear, not moving, Lu Bu anxious, manipulated the halberd reassembly, turned into a guitar, immediately played up: (Halberd in the Three Kingdoms weapon spectrum ranked second, multi-functional, in the battlefield is invincible weapon, love field can also be used as an attack on the JJ pulling the MM of the musical instrument, second only to the "laughing and talking about strong women! The second is the feather fan of Zhou Lang, which is only second to the "strong woman in a laugh".)
"The beauty across the street look over, look over, look over, here's a great show."
Diaochan finally came back to her senses, her watery eyes swung, flashed and discharged, electrifying Lu Bu, who seemed to hear a kind of pumping toilet sound in his throat. Diaochan with "Wahaha" pure water to cover the right eye, sang:
"My eyes can only you,
I can not forget you,
Without you,
Life does not have any meaning"
.Lu Bu and said, "My love is like the tide, love is like the tide it surrounds you and me ......"
After singing, Lu Bu began to show off his ancestor's "Stealing Chickens and Stealing Dogs of the Supreme Treasure Record," saying:
"O Cindy, I'm going to hold you tightly in my arms and kiss you a billion times, as fiery as on the equator. If I don't I propose to you, I will regret it for the rest of my life because you are the one for me."
After saying that, despite everything, he ran to the small, twisting bridge, leapt onto the pavilion, and embraced the soft, boneless Diaochan into his arms, who opened her arms obliviously, but then quickly retracted her hands.
Lv Bu said excitedly:
"There is something you may not have noticed, that toothbrush you gave me has become a boon to me, every time I use it I get great satisfaction, I want to use it forever. Cindy, unless you give me another one."
Diaochan, however, twisted her body away from her, pretended to be sad, squeezed out two tears, and said,
"General Hugh dirty your hands. The farthest distance in the world is not the ends of the earth, but I am by your side, Bu Bu ah, you don't know how much I love you."
Lv Bu was shocked:
"Why did Canyan say that?"
Diaochan burst into tears (Diaochan had shot the "Lux" beauty soap advertisement, the advertisement value is second only to the world's most famous model Xiao Qiao, and as Wang Yun's 007, this kind of acting is easy for her):
"Bu Bu, you don't know that, the old man refuses to leave with me, afraid that I will share my love with you, and I am afraid that I will share with you. I'm afraid that I'll share half of his family's assets with him, and it's useless to look for the Women's Federation, not to mention the fact that he's a powerful man with a lot of money! How can a weak woman like me defeat him?"
Lv Bu heard this, the halberd in his hand shook angrily, for a moment, then sighed:
"Cindy, you and I are the pair that was born for each other, the pair that was created for each other. I would really like us to be able to turn into butterflies, even if it is only enough to survive for 3 days in the spring, I will get more happiness in those 3 days than in 50 years normally."
Diaochan looked greatly moved and said very firmly:
"Thinking of you, thinking of you, thinking of you, thinking of you for the last time, for tomorrow I shall be the bride of Yama. Bubu, since love divides sentient beings into two ends, you let me die."
Saying this, he wanted to hit the pillar.
Lv Bu hastily reached out his hand, embraced Diaochan's slender, willow-like waist, leaned the painting halberd toward the pillar, and hugged Diaochan more tightly, close to his face and body, and curved his arms to warm up.
Diaochan used her small fists to pat Lu Bu's chest, murmuring, "You bad, you bad oh."
Lv Bu was so happy that he lightly held his jade hand and danced with Diao Chan in a ramen dance.
The sunlight threw down from the sky in clumps, drowning the heroes and beauties. In the flower congregation, bees and butterflies fluttered as they danced, making a scene of spring, swinging the pool, driving the infinite commotion of spring.
Lv Bu and Diao Chan finished the dance, began to love each other, touched like the wind from the depths of the two people's hearts and minds, and suddenly caused ripples infinite. Lu Bu threw his righteous father Dong Zhuo's command to the island of Java, couldn't hold back, and took off his long shirt with the hand of a thief, then took out his treasure, and was about to do something good.
Wow KAO ---- "Suddenly a shocking roar, will be the beauty of this spring ripped. Lu Bu raised his eyes and saw Dong Zhuo "stagger-stagger-stagger" running towards him to the edge of the pavilion. Only a pair of flower-colored shorts Lu Bu, more flexible and lightweight, has jumped to the pool, Dong Zhuo see can not catch up, manipulated has changed the square sky painting halberd, viciously to Lu Bu smashed, drinking:
"Kid, suffer death ......"
"
The world's most famous man, Lu Bu is the most famous man in the world.
Lv Bu is one of the few masters in the world to cope with this kind of scene, of course, there is a leg, felt a murderous aura at the back of his head suddenly, his body was biased, the square sky painting halberd rubbed his ears.
Lv Bu was shocked out of a cold sweat, speed up the pace, in the fake mountain three around two around, will disappear like a light smoke. After Lu Bu slipped back, he was very annoyed that he didn't say the classic farewell phrase "Say goodbye, say goodbye, Sayonara!", but instead he made such a mess.
Dong Zhuo's death is the first of its kind.
Dong Zhuo gasping like a cow, will be as fat as a pig's body folded back, moved to the phoenix Yi Pavilion in the sobbing Diaochan, drank:
"Bitch, we are divorced today, and now the witnesses and material evidence are all in the, according to the current Marriage Law, Article 19, you can not take a penny of me, haha!"
Originally, Dong Zhuo has long been on the former commonly used body inspection of men Diaochan bored, like a Kyoto University of the pure love of the beauty, so the acceptance of Lu Bu as a righteous son, the two have been plotting for a long time, in the compound in all corners of the installation of closed-caption television, looking forward to the stars, looking forward to the moon, and finally looked forward to this scene. But the machine counted all, but the Secretary's life, the dream of the second spring has not been made, not a few days, that is, April 192 A.D. Ting has been the morning of the day, he was his own accomplices and righteous son - "steal chickens and dogs teach" master Lv Bu decapitated, Diaochan, the family's assets were all! Lv Bu, a generation of birds male, fell into such a fate, sad and lamentable.
Later, Simon Qing, the thirty-eighth generation of the Cult of the Stealing Chicken and Touching Dog, furthered the Cult by poisoning his sworn brother, Hua Zixu, and annexing his family's assets and wife. 1341, Chinese director Luo Guanzhong, who was in a state of decline, was drinking at the Lichun Yuan when he met his lover Wei Guanzhong. When, from the red-faced acquaintance Wei Chunhua there happened to know the truth of the Phoenix Pavilion incident, from which to dig out its profound social significance, shooting a global sensation "Romance of the Three Kingdoms", won the Aorai country that year's "Hungry Card" Golden Statue Award for the motherland has won the honor, oh this is all the words of the latter
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