Side Final Extra I love
The day after the Doctor's funeral, the guy pointed to the packed bags in the living room and calmly told me, I'm leaving, the plane tomorrow afternoon.
Her face had a soft, shadowy hue in the fuzzy evening sky, but at the same time she had a serene, calm expression, and her voice was the same as it always was, light, emotionless, with a slight upturn at the end, and always sounding questioning, but never giving room for discussion.
Some days ago, the person who was so calm and cold was not her, the person who was so sad that she collapsed the night the doctor left was not her, and the person who was alone in the cemetery after the funeral yesterday and wept alone was not her, but only the present, the one in front of her, the one who is not shocked, who is expressionless, and who is at peace with herself, is the real her. She wanted me to believe so, and even though I could see the huge scars on her heart, and the invisible tears in her eyes, I believed that she was the calm and strong fellow, and nothing could defeat her.
I saw the tape her mom had left her on the table and asked, "This ......"
"I didn't take it with me last time." She hooked a very stiff, cold smile, "Always thought at that time that I'd have to leave myself a reason to come back."
"It's just your home, do you need a reason to come back." I said.
"Heh ...... yeah ...... but, now ...... there's no need." She gently tilted her head to the side and closed her eyes, "Whether it's a reason, or a home, it's ...... not needed anymore."
I froze.
"You ......" I wanted to ask her if she was never coming back, but I couldn't say it, only to be prophesized by something that originally didn't exist.
She gazed at me, again with a knowing expression, her fingers ran through the ends of her hair, she smiled and said, "Well, it won't be coming back."
She said it so easily, so surely, so how was I supposed to keep it.
I stopped asking, and she stopped explaining, and as the light of the sunset sky receded from the windows, and the darkness cloaked the interior in its nighttime makeup, she walked over to the foyer and unscrewed the light, looking at me in silence.
I forget why I smiled at her, but I remember my stiff voice as I said, "Ashigara, it's going to be okay."
And she didn't answer, she just walked over to the coffee table and reached out to caress the urn, and said in a straight voice, "You won't object if I take it back to Uganda."
"No."
She smiled, and even her smile had that hint of pallor in it, "I just ...... want the Doctor to see, too, where I lived." Her fingers, pale and long, clasped gently on the edge of the box, "Ridiculous, isn't it?"
"No, how." I walked over and took her hand, her entire palm was heart chillingly cold, "The Doctor ...... will be pleased, you've always ...... been a source of pride to him."
She lowered her head, not moving, and withdrew her hand, finally shaking her head.
"Don't ...... tell Ayumi and the others." She said, "And, from now on, the family ...... is in your hands." She explained clearly and concisely, is transported in the invisible resolute and wordless determination, bright lights can not give her the slightest warmth, and close to me, but also can not. Parting, death, loss, these clichéd plays in her stage constantly staged, just do not know, she will be heartbroken, or has been numb.
The moment of farewell, will be too good to be true, although it is dusk, but the sunset of the residual sunshine melted several days since the snow, the airport hall people, but no sad. Other people's parting is for reunion, our goodbye is the bitterness of never seeing each other again.
It was dusk and sunset again, and I remembered the picture on my cell phone of her back in the dusk, and was overwhelmed with emotion as I watched her walk headlong after checking in her luggage.
A short hug, a goodbye, she was always calm and serene, on her way out, as if she remembered something, she rummaged in her bag, and eventually pulled out a pendant, bone with intricate and delicate patterns on it, dangling from a thin cord, she slipped it to me, "A sort of memento of this, Kudo." She didn't look over at me and I didn't rush to reach for it, she smiled instead, "Don't worry, I didn't put any chili powder on it, huh?" I reached for it, undid the cord clasp and hung it around my neck, "Do I need to say thank you?" I asked her. "Oh, you're welcome." Her long fingers fastened the LV clasp with a crisp snap, even her tone was lighter.
Then she waved to me, without even a goodbye, and refused to look back more than once, walking towards the Check In entrance, where I stood, the smile on the corner of my mouth frozen, her back in the long black trench coat was so long and thin, even though she was already far away and got on the elevator, I could still tell. So her turn seemed so abrupt.
Like an elongated shot from a movie with special effects, she turned as gracefully as before, and even though she was so far away and there were so many people, she found me effortlessly, smiled at me, and then put up her index finger to her lips, spat out a few words, and then turned around once again, as the elevator and the flow of people took her out of my sight.
Hashihara, you asshole. I clenched my fingers, a sour feeling welling up in my heart but blurring my eyes, asshole, what did you say, I didn't see it, I couldn't see it.
Then the three brats rushed to me, they looked at me, angry, complaining, and just started sobbing, Ayumi grabbed the corner of her coat and sobbed, "Why ......why? ...... "
Sorry Ayumi, whether you're asking why that guy left or why things turned out the way they did, I don't have an answer for you because, the only person who knows the answer, is already on the plane and will never come back.
Afterwards, there is what can be said later, is nothing more than going to school and leaving school occasionally skipping class, solving crimes and kicking the ball occasionally and Lan quarrel, Friday night still gathered in the doctor's house and to the table to leave two empty seats, as if there will soon be someone to sit over, the difference is only that I put the phone ringtone alarm all changed into Del Deldera's "Memories", just every Friday night no longer have to play the opportunity to make a cross-country phone call. The only thing is that I have a bone pendant around my neck, and over time it has taken on my warmth, and that soft, bland texture always reminds me of someone, only that I would put off all my cases during my long vacations to go on the medical team to Africa, and I've been to Egypt, Tanzania, and Ethiopia, but I've never been able to go to Uganda, and I don't know if there will be a chance for me to go there in the future.
Until one day---I met a nurse when I was volunteering in Zambia, when I leaned over to pick up a syringe that had fallen on the floor, and the locket slipped out of my shirt, and when she saw it, she smiled wickedly and asked me, "Is Kudo-kun's love interest in Uganda Is he?" The laugh was crisp, like Inuyasha's, and I couldn't help but freeze.
"What ...... does that mean?" I asked hurriedly, my fingers suddenly turning cold.
"That kind of bone carving tattoo, it's a local love token oh, it's usually carved on an animal bone by the girl's hand then given to the sweetheart, that way the love will be blessed by the gods." She said, "I was there last year, a lot of girls do that ...... but ...... carving it is really quite hard it ...... "
"Kudo-kun doesn't know? It's such a burden to people ......"
Blood rushed to my brain for a split second as I listened to her words, and I slowly held it in the palm of my hand, incredibly dumbfounded as I remembered the white bandage that had been wrapped around her hand when she returned to Tokyo.
I looked up at the vast blue sky of the bleak land, the white clouds and turquoise, no amount of beauty could remove the slightly sneering and laughing face from my mind, she had conveyed her feelings to me in a way that only she could understand, not afraid of my ignorance, not afraid of being misunderstood, how had I forgotten, that's the way she had always been. Arbitrary and stubborn, the moment of farewell, all refused to repent.
You thought I wouldn't see it, you thought I wouldn't dare to admit it, you thought I'd be relieved if you left a locket and a few words behind.
You were wrong, Ashigara. I can confirm it now, dare to admit it, but it's too late.
You put up your index finger to hold back your lips, I've seen you smile like that so many times, but that word, how could you say it with a smile, or did you just not intend for me to see it.
Isn't it?
Isn't that what you said at the end?
You said, "Farewell, my belove."
I closed my eyes and sighed silently, Ashigaru, so it's not like you never said goodbye to me.
---I love end---