On the evening of December 5, I had just returned to my parents from out of town. Early the next morning, several doctors came to check in as usual, and stayed in each bed for at least a few minutes, asking detailed questions about the patient's feelings, patiently explaining the changes in his condition, but when it came to my father's bed, there was only a brief sentence: "Patient's family, I'll come over to ask you to go to the office, and tell you about your condition".
1
On November 17th, Sunday night, I sent a video to my family as usual, my father, my mother, and my sister-in-law were all there, talking about the same things. Near the end, my mother told me that my father was not feeling well, eating a little bit of something to feel bloated, they went to the county hospital to check out, prescribed medication, in order to facilitate the return to the town hospital to play hangman. My father cast a reproachful look at my mother, complaining that she shouldn't have told me, fearing that I would be worried, repeatedly emphasizing that it was just a minor problem that could be solved by the town hospital. I laughed and asked my father to follow the doctor's instructions for normal treatment, and also took the opportunity to advise him to smoke less, exercise more, and develop healthy living habits. At that time, the four people present, including me, including the father himself, did not take this little episode too seriously, and easily ended the video, I continue to work in the new week, they continue to live a "retirement" life.
2
November 21, Thursday night, I was working the night shift, in Shanghai, my aunt rarely call me, I realized that the town can not heal the father's illness, he transferred to the county hospital for a few days, has not told me. Aunt said that my father's mind is not good, do not want others to see him sick look, live in the county town of cousin specially went to visit him, but he said a pass - my father's bad temper in the circle of relatives is notorious. The aunt wants me to calm and comfort my father, she has been working in a hospital in Shanghai for 9 years, not a doctor, but heard a lot of see a lot, is also half a physician, my father's current situation is not a big problem, but the full recovery will take time, need to be patient, and can not be rushed.
Early Friday morning, I called my mother to confirm my father's hospitalization. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get the best out of this, but I'm sure you're going to be able to get the best out of this, and I'm sure you're going to be able to get the best out of this. I'm not worried, a similar disease several relatives have had, like my father's age, such a situation is not uncommon, and peacefully in the hospital for a few days, more than a few days, there is no not healed.
3
Time is like a wild horse out of control, in the blink of an eye, my father has been living in the county hospital for more than ten days, the condition is not better, my father's mood is getting worse and worse, and the doctor said this is a normal phenomenon, and a few days of living "should" be able to be good. 30 November, Saturday, a new round of CT scanning results show that On Saturday, November 30th, a new round of CT scan showed that my father's bile ducts were dilated and suspected to be obstructed, but most of the doctors were out of work during the weekend, and the ones who stayed on duty were of limited caliber and could not confirm the diagnosis. The new CT report was sent to a doctor at a large hospital, who quickly gave his opinion - to transfer him to another hospital immediately.
4
On December 2, Monday, according to the instructions of a doctor's friend in the provincial capital, my father got the number of a certain specialist and was admitted to the Provincial Cancer Hospital. The first time I saw this, I was in the middle of the night, and I was in the middle of the night. Everything went so smoothly that it seemed to imply that my father's trip would have a happy ending, especially when the specialist said to my father, "You've come to the right person if you come to see me", which gave all of us a reassuring pill to swallow.
The next few days were the busiest time for my mother, busy with my father doing all kinds of tests, busy receiving phone calls from friends and relatives, busy explaining to many people who didn't understand the situation and were scared by the "tumor" hospital, but it was good to have a cousin to escort me all the way, and an uncle to take care of me remotely, and all my friends and relatives to provide assistance. My parents wouldn't let me take a vacation for fear that it would affect my work, saying that the situation was manageable and that I didn't need to worry too much. I finally decided not to take a vacation, transfer a shift, Thursday night to the parents, Friday to Sunday normal vacation time to accompany them, the follow-up whether the need to take a vacation to be determined.
On the evening of December 5th, after my father had been sick for more than twenty days, I finally came to his side. In the cold night wind, "Provincial Cancer Hospital" a few bright red LED big words particularly eye-catching, as if through a trace of blood, but I do not feel horrible, my father only rushed to this expert, not a tumor. Until now, I still carry a normal heart, give father encouragement, give mother confidence.
Who would have thought that after just one night, this "normal heart" can no longer be calm.
5
"The patient's symptoms are obstructive jaundice, the examination found that the pancreatic duct, the intra- and extra-hepatic bile ducts are dilated, the pancreatic head area abnormal signal foci, the hepatoportal lymph nodes enlarged, combined with the clinical, we diagnosed pancreatic cancer ......".
I was stunned! No sign of a huge change came so suddenly, as if you go to deal with traffic violations, thinking that you can go away after deducting some points and paying the fine, the police department detained you and turned over the bottom of the criminal case that you never knew, to sentence you to death. However, the doctor didn't give time for us to froth and continued:
"The result of our consultation, the first choice is surgery, to remove the gallbladder, duodenum, a part of the pancreas and the stomach, and then re-stitch the intestines, which is a very big operation, no matter the operation itself or the post-operative recovery, there is a high risk, and the cost is also relatively high. Of course, you have the option of chemotherapy or radiation therapy, but I have to tell you that based on past experience, pancreatic cancer is very insensitive to chemotherapy and radiation therapy, and the treatment is less effective. You can also choose to do more tests, such as biopsy, PET-CT, to confirm whether the tumor is malignant or not. I would like to remind you that the pancreas is very deep, biopsy sampling is very difficult, and the chances of hitting the target site accurately are not high, and if you get a bad one, you can conclude that it is malignant; if you get a good one, you can't conclude that it is benign, and if it is malignant, there is still a risk of spreading when you take the sample.PET-CT is better and more accurate than traditional CT, but it is more effective and more accurate than conventional CT. PET-CT is better and more accurate, but it is only higher, not 100% accurate, and it takes longer to make an appointment and wait for the results, so if you have it done, you will have to postpone your surgery for another week. You guys discuss which option to choose and let me know as soon as possible."
With no time to grieve, I quickly reviewed and rationalized what the doctor had said and discussed my options with my mother. The doctor seemed to give us a lot of options, stripped away those unlikely, only one way to surgery, since we came here, can only trust the hospital, trust the doctor's judgment. So we quickly came to an agreement, and contacted my uncle abroad to seek his advice. My uncle, ever so calm and collected, understood all the circumstances in a few words, and approved of our decision, instructed me on what to do next, and immediately booked a flight back to my home country, where I then took a week's leave from my workplace. The surgery that would decide my father's fate was thus scheduled for Tuesday, December 10th, the first of the 10th beds.
6
I explained my father's condition to him and drew a diagram just as the doctor had done when he introduced me to him - of course, I never mentioned "cancer", only that it was a lesion and that he would be fine after it was removed. My father was already sensitive and suspicious, and now that he was staying in the tumor hospital, and the doctor refused to disclose half a word to him, he was inevitably shocked and afraid, and could not just make up one or two sentences to muddle through. After learning about his condition, my father became more open, and we behaved as usual, taking injections, eating, walking, chatting, and quietly waiting for the operation. But every time my father saw the knowledge column on the corridor promoting cancer, or the announcement of recruiting volunteers for new anti-cancer drugs, he would always stop and stare for a while, which was a major test for me, I could not pull him away, nor could I persuade him to be relaxed, so I would just stand quietly at the side, say a few words about the relevant knowledge points that I knew, and gag, just hoping that he would not associate "cancer" with himself. "The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
The news that my father was going to have an operation soon spread in the circle of relatives, and one after another people came to visit, and those who couldn't make it also called to say hello. Whenever this time came, my father was always very generous and optimistic, and he talked to the people who came to him with ease, and he made a few jokes every now and then without any depressing and sentimental atmosphere. The majority of the people who came did not know the details, but smiled and gave his father encouragement, waiting for his father to be discharged from the hospital.
During this time, when I had the chance to sneak onto the Internet, I searched for information about pancreatic cancer, and the words that popped up were breathtaking. The cases of Huang Ju, Steve Jobs, and Pavarotti, and the big names in politics, business, and show business, seemed to confirm that "the king of cancers" was invincible, and that even more money and top-notch medical care would not be enough to overcome it. After knowing this, I forced myself to be frank, we have done our best, found the best experts, can do to the limit, cherish the moment, the rest let God arrange, life and death have a destiny, wealth and fortune in heaven.
7
On December 10th, the day of the surgery finally came. My mother and I got up at 5:00 to get ready, and just after 6:00, 3 of my father's blood brothers came over, followed by my uncle, aunt, uncle and cousin. We formed a strong group of family and friends to give my father the strongest spiritual support. My father didn't say much, because he hadn't eaten much these days, his body was weak, and he had a stomach tube inserted, so he looked very uncomfortable, and he closed his eyes and dozed off every chance he got. The clock seems to be glued, every second is going particularly slow, said 7 o'clock, 7:30 has not seen any movement, we quietly guard the bedside, not even dare to breathe loudly, as if waiting for the verdict. 7:50, finally someone came to guide my father to walk to the operating room, I was allowed to accompany only one person, take the special elevator to arrive at the door of the operating room on the fourth floor, I was blocked out of the yellow line. My father was holding a drainage bag, slowly walking inside, I glanced over and saw a dozen operating tables, full of heavily armed medical staff, the strong smell of disinfectant water coming from the face. Then I was taken to the family waiting area outside the door on the other floor, where all the other relatives were, my cousin and my cousin came over, my aunt had bought a plane ticket to arrive in the evening, my uncle had already made all the arrangements, and all the relatives who had come to eat and live there were led by my cousin, and my mother and I concentrated on accompanying my father and being at the disposal of the hospital at all times. The only thing all of us can do next is to wait.
This level of hospital, never lack of surgery, the electronic screen shows that this day scheduled for 84 surgeries, each column identifies the bed number, the patient's name, the status of the operation, my father went in soon after his status jumped to "in surgery". Around the hustle and bustle, the hospital arranged dozens of stools are not enough to sit, some people standing, some people squatting, some people leaning against the wall, some people crying, some people shouting, some people chatter, just like hell on earth. Mother finally could not help it, hugging headache crying, venting so many days in front of the father to hold back the emotions. I took several deep breaths to contain my tears and stayed close to my mother, praying for my father in my heart. Just last night, the doctor told me a bad news: the tumor has invaded the portal vein, very tricky, the operation may have to do vascular replacement, if done, the difficulty and risk of surgery will be further increased.
At 10:00 am, I was informed to buy artificial blood vessels from the hospital's designated pharmaceutical company on my own, because the hospital was out of stock. Half an hour after buying the blood vessels, the chief surgeon notified the family to go over and talk to them, telling us that we had to do the vascular replacement or the surgery could only be aborted, and that if we agreed to do it, we should sign again. I signed the papers shakily, without telling my mother about the risks of vascular replacement. At 1:20 p.m., the operating room again notified me to go over, told me that the organs have been removed, the blood vessels have been replaced, the rest is the intestinal re-sewing, in other words, the whole operation is the most dangerous, the most critical moment, my father came through!
Outside the door of the operating room, every second is a long time to suffer, relatives take turns to talk to my mother, to comfort her, and I paced back and forth. From time to time, an announcement is made to notify the family to pick up the patient, and then a handful of people rush to the door in ecstasy. I envy them, and keep my ears open in anticipation of hearing that familiar name. The doctor had expected the surgery to take seven hours, but with the addition of the vascular replacement, it was extended for an unknown length of time. The clock ticked past 3:00 p.m. Seven hours had passed, how much longer was left? Is it going well in there? There is no answer, but to continue to wait anxiously.
With the completion of one operation, the people waiting outside gradually less and less, more people when the noise is annoying, less people, but in vain added more uneasiness. Almost 6 o'clock, finally waiting for the news: the operation went well, but the patient is very weak after the operation, the state is unstable, to be transferred to the ICU (Intensive Care Unit) immediately. Dozens of medical staff pushed his father out of the operating room, and quickly disappeared in the doorway of the ICU next to him, during which just a few seconds, I saw my father's eyes closed tightly, covered with tubes and wires, relying on the machine to maintain breathing. 10 hours of long waiting, through life and death, hovering on the brink of danger, thank God! The father is back!
A short while later, a doctor came out of the ICU and told us how bad the patient's situation was, and asked the family to sign the critical notice. In the past few days, I've heard similar "warnings" too many times, and I've signed more than I can count, so I'm scared, and the doctor's words didn't affect my ability to revel in the success of the operation, and my nerves are a little bit loose - even though the experts have told me that the operation is only the beginning. The doctor's words didn't affect my ability to revel in the success of the operation.
8
The next morning, we were allowed into the ICU for visits, limited to one person at a time, for a total of ****30 minutes. I was the first to go in, wearing a good protective suit, hands sterilized, inside the layer of the door opened, the large ward lights, more than a dozen beds evenly distributed around, was partitioned into a small room, each bed is surrounded by a variety of instruments and equipment, large and small displays ticking flashing, the medical staff back and forth. Walking to my father's bedside, he was still weak, inserted with a ventilator, his eyes were lifeless, he could only communicate briefly by nodding and shaking his head, the anesthesia effect had not completely faded, he had to sleep most of the time, there were too many tubes and wires on his body, and in order to prevent him from moving around, his hands and feet were all bound. I simply said a few words and instructed him to get some rest, then went to his supervising doctor for details. I saw that on the computer screen in front of the doctor, my father's column was still labeled "critical", and the doctor said that under the maintenance of a large number of medications, the vital signs were still quite good, and that after such a major surgery, the blood in the wounds should be coagulated as soon as possible to reduce blood loss, but the patient's body had a new artificial blood vessel, and once a thrombus occurs, there will be irreversible and terrible consequences, therefore, the patient was not able to recover from the surgery. The blood in the blood, but also to add anticoagulant, so that the wound recovery time is greatly extended, which may produce complications are also eyeing.
Visiting time is soon over, come to the hospital these days, accustomed to be accompanied by his father at any time, now separated by a wall, the heart is empty, but the thought of his father living in the ICU, with the top, the most comprehensive, the most timely medical care guardianship, and then slightly assured a little bit. Dinner time, the pocket of the father's cell phone suddenly rang, is the ICU called, heart tight, hurried to connect, the original father woke up, noisy must see the family, originally this is not allowed, but the father is very fierce, the medical staff can not hold down the exception to call us in. 4 relatives appeared in the father's bedside, he looked very agitated, said confused words, and vigorously move his arms and legs to break free from the restraints! He was very agitated, speaking in a daze and moving his arms and legs vigorously to break the restraints, and once we calmed him down, he was particularly obedient and immediately told us to get out and not to make things difficult for the doctors. A few moments later, ICU called again, the father again, this time as long as I went in, still agitated, like a child, seems to be completely unable to remember before we look at him, pacify him, his sanity has been confused!
I began to panic and asked the doctor for help, and in the eyes of a doctor who takes life and death as plain as day, my father's condition was not surprising at all. "It could be a reaction to the anesthesia, it could be abnormal liver function affecting the central nervous system, and it could be that the patient is too nervous after the surgery causing a stress reaction."
"And how long will this last? Could it cause permanent nerve damage?"
"It's hard to say how long it lasts, it depends on the patient's constitution, it could just be for a while or it could be permanent. If it's really hepatic encephalopathy, then it's quite dangerous ......"
This is the professional habit of doctors, there is always the worst outcome, never say the words to death, and always put out all kinds of "possible", and then ask, then throw you a lot of unintelligible. The first thing that you need to do is to get your hands on some of the best products and services in the world. From a bystander's point of view, I can understand, but as a family member of a critically ill patient, I really want to be angry at this time - but I can't show it in the slightest. My father was still confused, fantasizing that someone was trying to persecute him, sometimes nervous, sometimes angry, and only slightly relieved when he saw his familiar relatives by his side; his memory was confusing and short-lived, and when his eyes were closed or opened, the words he had just spoken to him would be forgotten. I held his hand, not daring to take half a step away from him, and kept talking to him while pressing his hands and feet to relieve his discomfort. Whenever my father cried out for thirst, I could only dip a cotton swab into some water and apply it to his cracked and peeling lips. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on some of the most popular products and services in the world, and then you'll be able to get your hands on some of the most popular ones.
I once thought, or simply imagined, that the ICU was good except for being expensive, and that it could provide patients with advanced medical treatment, a comfortable environment, and proper care. Tonight I realized that the ICU is a nightmare, except for the excellent facilities to facilitate the resuscitation at any time, so that the probability of the patient's survival is increased! Shiny lights, constantly ringing instruments, wailing and moaning patients, busy doctors and nurses, talking, shouting, cart friction on the ground, oxygen cylinders colliding with each other, the crisp sound of glassware smashing on a porcelain plate when dispensing medication, and the muffled sound of medical garbage being thrown far away into the garbage can. In the middle of the night, a dozen beds, dozens of people, all the time in the creation of noise, the bed is full of tubes, moving the body of the critically ill are difficult, want to sleep well is simply a luxury - unless the use of drugs. The nurses are busy, not divided enough, and the patients are not available when they need them, not to mention that they are all well-trained professionals who have seen it all before, have no personal feelings, and are completely immune to wailing and moaning. When you come in like we did, it's against the rules, and the nurses are happy to not have to spend their energy dealing with a seriously ill person who is out of his mind and over-acting.
9
Three days in a row, my father has not been awake, really exhausted, squint for a while, wake up and continue to excitedly talk nonsense, and occasionally hit people, we divided up the work, take turns on duty, to ensure that his bedside 24 hours a day someone. In the night of his insanity, the attending physician prescribed a dose of medication, is a liver injection, the oncology hospital is out of stock, outside the pharmacy can not be bought, the doctor suggested that our family members go to other major hospitals to try, hang up an infectious disease department number, for sympathy, may be able to prescribe some medication for us to take away - obviously this is a violation of the law, the chances of getting the medication is very small! . My uncle used almost all the relations, my cousin and I split up, early the next morning to get a sufficient amount of drugs, immediately sent to the ICU, the results of the attending physician and ICU communication problems, until the third day to my father.
Fear and despair crept into my heart, and I was worried that my father would have a nervous breakdown, that he would never regain his senses, that he would die suddenly after a serious physical and mental overdraft, and that he would die in a confused and painful way. In the past few days, three patients in the ICU were not resuscitated and were sent to the morgue. I remembered what the expert said, "Post-operative recovery is the key", 10 hours of major surgery, my father survived, who knew that it was just a warm-up, the real test is right in front of us. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on some of the most popular products and services in the world, and then you'll be able to get your hands on some of the most popular products and services in the world!
December 14th, 6:00 am, the fourth day after his father's surgery, we still take turns to accompany the nurse, my mother got up and prepared to change the aunt out, the results of the aunt called: "Through! Your father's intestines are passable! Able to have normal bowel movements! He can drink water!" And then she said, "He's suddenly much more lucid! He doesn't talk nonsense, and his mind is better! It seems to have been suffocated before."
It is said that the night before the dawn is the darkest, and at this moment, no one can understand this saying better than me, and enjoy the happiness of being illuminated by this dawn!
10
The subsequent plot, like a movie whose climax has passed, began to evolve towards a happy ending. After five days and six nights in the ICU, my father was transferred back to the general ward, and all the indicators of his body are catching up day by day in the direction of the doctor's expectations. Even though he is not yet out of danger, the biopsy result is not yet available, and the disadvantages of vascular replacement are dragging down his recovery relentlessly, we all believe that my father has taken the initiative in the fierce fight with the devil and held his destiny tightly in his own hands.
11
Cancer is scary, and it's not far away. In China, more than 10,000 people are diagnosed with cancer every day, and behind every cancer patient is a group of suffering relatives, a scarred and even broken family. From time to time, the news reports on the miserable situation of a certain patient, the circle of friends can often see the water drop fundraising easy fundraising, the entrance to the major hospitals, the roadside, there are always kneeling on the ground in desperation to help the patient's family. Father is lucky, have the conditions to receive expert treatment, have the opportunity to rush before the spread of surgery, have a large group of relatives as a strong backing, there are so many care about him, love him, help his friends, and most importantly, there is fate, the fate of the world, letting him through a difficult time, so that it can be said to be the perfect timing, right place, right person and the right person. No matter what happens in the future, how the result, has no regrets, only to be grateful, every day is good, not to be responsible for all, not to be responsible for their own.
12
When my father was in the ICU, his bed was opposite a square pillar with a painting on it - the coincidence was that the large ICU ward with 19 beds only had this one painting - in the place where he could look up and see it. He could look up and see it. The painting was of an open window with a bright spring day, with lakes, distant mountains, clouds, green trees and grass, and at the end of the picture was a sunrise, giving people unlimited hope. Whenever I am worried about my father and pessimism wells up in my heart, I look at this picture. Indeed, no matter when people, no matter how bad the situation, must not lose hope, when you are in a desperate situation can not move, hope, is the last can save you out of the object.
This article is dedicated to all the relatives, friends, medical personnel who cared to help my father, thank you! Grateful!