1. Water Festival
The Water Festival, everyone splashed each other blessing, suddenly a person scolded: Damn, who splashed me? The other people advised: splash you are blessing you.
The curser said: "Don't come to this set, who splashed me with boiling water?
2. Waiting for the car
This morning I went to work to catch the public **** car, to the platform, the car has started. So I chased and shouted: "Master, wait
me, master wait for me ah!......"
This is a passenger poked his head out of the window and said: "Wukong, you do not chase"
3. Outrageous
Outside the maternity ward of the hospital, a group of men were waiting to be appointed as new fathers. A nurse rushes out of the maternity ward and says
to one of them, "Congratulations, your wife's in labor!"
The other man threw his cigarette butt on the floor, jumped up and shouted, "No shit! I got here before him, why haven't I gotten my turn yet?"
4. The Needle
A certain A went to the hospital for a health checkup, and the nurse took a needle to draw blood for him, and a certain A couldn't help but ask, "Will it hurt? I'm afraid of pain!" The nurse said, "Don't worry about it, I've been a nurse for more than 20 years. ......" A said, "Great, I'm relieved!" Then the nurse a needle down, only to hear a certain a pig-like scream, the nurse slowly picked up: "There is not a time does not hurt."
5. Getting it wrong
At the bar, George was drinking a beer alone. He suddenly felt like going to the restroom, and fearing that someone would steal his beer after he left, he wrote a note on the table, "I spit in my glass." When he returned, he found the paper had added, "I spit in it too." .
6. Too loud
Guge Liang is a proficient in the eight arts of Qi Men, one of his specialties is ventriloquism. But this day Zhuge Liang is with Liu Bei in the tent deliberations, Zhuge Liang suddenly want to fart, and afraid of being heard by Liu Bei, embarrassed. He had an idea, said: "Lord, in order to regulate the atmosphere, I learn woodpecker called to you how to listen?" Liu Bei nodded his head. Zhuge Liang imitated the woodpecker and farted twice. Then he asked, "How is it, Lord? Did I do well?" Liu Bei said. "Liu Bei said, "You learn it again, just now you farted too loudly for me to see."
7.
There was an ugly woman who could never get married and hoped to be abducted and sold, and one day her dream finally came true and she was kidnapped, and the kidnappers suspected that she was ugly and sent her back to her original place, and the woman was determined not to get off the car, and the head of the kidnappers gritted his teeth and stomped his feet and said, "Let's go! The car does not want!
8. The train was very crowded during the Spring Festival, and a certain gentleman took advantage of the stop to stick his butt out of the window to defecate. Under the car inspector found shouting: cigar fat, head back
9. I was in the road, see a penny, just to bend down to pick up, it is the mouth spit, I *, his mother, who spit so round?
10. A military maneuver, a shell deviated far away. Soldiers sent to check out the soldiers found that the shells fell in the farmland, the field stood a farmer, clothes broken face black, eyes with tears, said: steal a cabbage, guilty of shelling it?
11. Remember that year under the tree military training? The coach said to the students, "The first row to report!" You looked at the coach in surprise, and the coach said loudly again, "Report!" So, with great reluctance, you turn around and hug the tree!
12. The weather is cold and hot, in this season, the mood is difficult to calm down, always miss you far away, I would like to raise a carrier pigeon, so that it flies to you every day, even if it can do just a simple action: in your head to take a shit!
13.
One night, a naked man called a cab, the female driver stared at him, the naked man was furious, roared: you fucking have never seen a naked man ah! The female driver was also furious: I see where you fucking money from!
14. A village woman for the first time into the city, want to go to the toilet, a long time did not meet, had no choice but to turn to the police: comrades, there is a public toilet in front of the mother toilet, please ask where?
15. The nurse saw a patient drinking in the ward, went over and whispered to him: "Little heart!" The patient smiled and said, "Little baby."
16. An old man lost his car, when he put a new car downstairs he put three locks and a piece of paper: let you steal! The next day the car was not lost, and two more locks and a piece of paper, written on: let you ride!
17. The teacher wanted the sports committee to make sure that all the girls in the class came together, so he said: "You go to the class to clear the girls." The sports committee is a little colorful, busy asking: "Pro which?" Teacher ￥ # ...... ￥ %
18. junior high school math class, the teacher lectured on the transformation of equations, on the podium sleeve a rolled up and shouted: students attention! I'm going to transform! ......
Doctor: "It's actually quite simple to check whether a person is mentally disturbed."
Reporter: "How do you check?"
Doctor: "Just ask him 1+1=? That's all."
Reporter: "Oh, a normal person would say 2!"
Doctor: "No, they'd call me an idiot for treating him like one."
The new director of the asylum walks up to one of the patients and asks him what brought him into the asylum.
"Doctor, it's like this. I married a widow with an adult daughter. My father married her daughter, so my wife became her father-in-law's mother-in-law and her daughter became my stepdaughter and stepmother. My stepmother had a son, and this child became my brother and my wife's grandson. I also had a son who became his grandfather's brother-in-law and his own uncle's uncle. On the other hand, my father referred to his grandson as his inner brother, and my son called his sister his grandmother. I now think I am my mother's father, my grandson's brother, and my wife is her son-in-law's daughter and her grandson's sister. Now I don't know if I am my own grandfather, my brother's father, or my son's nephew, because my son is my father's brother-in-law. Dean, that's why I'm here. I feel calmer here than at home."
Ming was interned in a psychiatric hospital. One day a patient chased him for no apparent reason with a kitchen knife in his hand. Xiaoming was so scared that he turned around and fled until he reached a dead-end street, thinking, "This time he's dead. ．．．．．．" Just at this time, that patient suddenly spoke, said: "chopper to you, to you chase me!"
Miracle in the asylum
The assistant ran into the dean's office and said excitedly, "Dean! It's a miracle in the asylum! Paul actually saved the life of Jimmy, who was in the same ward!" "Oh? What happened?" Dean asked. "Jimmy just tried to drown himself in the tub, and Paul was the one who dragged him out the hard way." The aide explained. Dean was pleased, "Looks like Paul is back to normal, bring him to me!" A short while later, Paul arrived in the Dean's office. "Paul, from the way you've been acting, you're completely back to normal, you've done a very heroic thing, you'll be discharged tomorrow." The dean said in a serious tone. At that moment, the aide came running into the office in another panic, "It's bad, Jimmy hung himself in the bathroom again!" "That suicidal maniac!" Dean muttered. "He didn't hang himself, I was just trying to dry him off." Paul interjected.
A new nurse came to a psychiatric hospital, a woman who was new to the hospital,
Seeing a patient circling an old well in the hospital, she mouthed, "13, 13, ......" The nurse was quite surprised, and couldn't figure out what the "13" was. "13" is what it means, continuous observation for several days, are so. She always wanted to go up and ask what was going on, but she was afraid that the patient would have a seizure, and she never dared to do so.
One day, the nurse finally couldn't hold back her curiosity and slowly walked to the patient's side, probing into the well. Suddenly the patient held the nurse's legs, lifted down and began to read: "14, 14, 14, ......"
A patient goes to the doctor for the first time.
"Did you consult anyone about your condition before you came here?" The doctor asks.
"Only the owner of the pharmacy on the corner," the patient replied.
That doctor hates it when people who aren't doctors often offer medical advice, and he doesn't hide it, "What bad idea did that idiot give you?"
"He told me to come to you."
A certain patient in a psychiatric hospital was writing a letter, and the nurse saw it and asked him curiously.
Nurse: to whom are you writing?
The patient: I'm writing to myself!
Nurse: What do you write?
Patient: You're a psychotic! I have not received how to know
Psychiatric hospital for the patient invited a teacher, is to teach art, the dean of the matter is very concerned about, and repeatedly urged the doctor and the patient do not slow down the teacher, so the beginning of the class, a young female teacher on the podium by a very enthusiastic applause, the teacher was very excited: "Students, we are learning to sketch today. "
Said bowed, turned around and drew an apple on the blackboard, and then said to the patients: "What do you think is drawn, students?"
In a chorus from the podium, "Ass."
"What ~~~~ you guys say again!"
"Still ass."
The young female teacher, who had never seen this before, ran to the dean's office in tears and said to the dean, "I can't stay here."
The dean asked why and the teacher said go check it out.
The dean jogged all the way to the classroom and cursed at the door, "You bunch of rabble, how dare you gas the teacher, all don't want to eat is it!"
And then looked back, "Who is this, and draw an ass on the blackboard!"
There was a psychiatric hospital,
in which a patient was lying on his bed and singing,
singing very happily~
but in the middle of the song, he suddenly got up,
and then lay down on his back and continued to sing.
The doctor thought it was strange and asked him, "Why did you get up in the middle of the song and sing on your stomach?
The patient replied: "After the A-side, we have to change to the B-side".
1) A patient came to see a psychiatrist.
Patient: I always thought I was a bird.
Doctor:Oh. That's serious. Since when?
Patient:Since I was a bird.
2) A neurologist asked a patient: What if I cut off one of your ears. What would you do?
The patient replied: I would not be able to hear.
The doctor said:Uh-huh. It's normal.
The doctor asked again:What if I cut off your other ear. What will happen to you?
The patient replied:I wouldn't be able to see.
The doctor became nervous. How can I not see?
The patient replied: Because the glasses will fall off.
3) There are two nervous patients. They escaped from the hospital.
The two ran and ran. They climbed a tree.
One of them jumped out of the tree.
Rolling and rolling.
Then he looked up and said to the man above him: Hey ------ why don't you come down ---------?
The man above him answered him:No--- okay--- ah ------
I'm not cooked -----------
4) There is an old lady in the neurological hospital.
Dressed in black every day. She carries a black umbrella.
Squatting in front of the neurological center.
The doctor thought to himself: to cure her. The first step is to get to know her.
So the doctor wore black clothes. With a black umbrella. He crouched there with her.
The two of them crouched there for a month without speaking a word.
The old lady finally spoke to the doctor:
May I ask -------
Are you---are you a mushroom too ------?
5) a psychiatric hospital heard that the leadership to come to the hospital to inspect the situation, so the director of the hospital called a meeting of the patients at the meeting, the director
said: "this afternoon, there is a very important leadership to visit, all the people have to go to the door to welcome. In the welcome time, all the patients stand in the hospital on both sides of the entrance, to stand neatly, when I cough, everyone applauded together, the more enthusiastic the better; I stomped my feet must all stop, there can not be a mistake. If you do well, you can eat meat buns tonight, as long as there is a person who messes up, all the people have no buns to eat, remember?" The patients under the stage shouted together: "Remember!"
This afternoon, the leader came on time, when he stepped into the door, the welcome of the patients have stood in the doorway at this time, with the dean of a cough, all the patients applauded together, the atmosphere is very warm. Leaders to visit the hospital were infected by the warm atmosphere, with a smile, and applauded together into the hospital. Seeing that the leader had already entered the hospital, the director stomped his foot and all the applause stopped, very neatly. Only the leader is still smiling while applauding a forward march, the dean felt very satisfied.
Suddenly, from the welcoming crowd out of a strong as Schwarzenegger's patients, striding to the front of the leadership, swung round
gave him a big slap, angry exceptionally roared - "you don't want to eat buns?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
6) Mental patient A asked B, "What do you think of this novel I recently completed?"
B looked at it and replied, "Not bad. However, there are just too many characters".
At this point, a nurse from the mental hospital came in and said, "Put the phone book back!"
7) A doctor at a psychiatric hospital is about to talk to a patient who is about to be discharged from the hospital to make sure that the patient has recovered completely.
Doctor: What are you going to do when you get out of the hospital?
Patient: Break all the windows of your hospital with stones.
The doctor realized that the patient had not fully recovered, so he decided to continue treatment. After a few months, the doctor felt that the patient could be discharged from the hospital, so he decided to talk to him again.
Doctor: What are you going to do after you leave the hospital?
The patient: find a job.
Doctor: and then?
Patient: earn money.
Doctor: and then what?
Patient: save money.
The doctor: and then what?
Patient: get a wife.
The doctor: and then?
The patient: the wedding room.
The doctor: then what?
Patient: Take off her clothes.
The doctor: and then what?
Patient: Take her pants off.
The doctor: and then what?
Patient: Take off her panties.
The doctor: and then what?
Patient: the panties on the rubber band out, do a slingshot, and then find some stones to your hospital window glass all broken.
8) Two psychiatric patients A gentleman B gentleman at the same time recovery, their attending doctor said to them: "If one of you is sick, the other will have to send him to the hospital immediately."
Suddenly one day, the doctor's phone rang, and it was Mr. A: "Oh no, Mr. B has been crawling in my toilet since this morning, saying he is my toilet." "Quickly, send him here!" A gentleman is silent for a moment: "Then ...... I will not have no toilet?"
9) Psychiatric hospital, a mental patient every day in an empty fish tank fishing.
One day, a nurse jokingly asked, "How many fish did you catch today?"
The mental patient suddenly jumped up and shouted, "Are you out of your mind, can't you see it's an empty fish tank?"
10) There is a mental hospital, where many mental patients live.
One day, the director of the hospital, in order to see how the patients recovered, thought of a way. He said to the patients,
Come here, all of you, and with that, he drew a door on the wall and said, "Today, whoever of you opens this door can go home."
On hearing this, the mentally ill swarmed around the painted door. The dean felt disappointed, when he realized that one of the patients was still sitting in his original position and felt okay, so he went up to him and asked, "Why don't you go and open the door?"
He looked at the dean, said a word, the dean heard is crying and laughing.
The patient secretly told the dean, "I have a key here."
11) Hospital psychiatric patients often have a love affair with doctors or nurses.
One day, a female patient came to a male doctor ......
Female patient: Dr. Blue, do you love me?
Dr. Blue thought for a long time (in order not to hurt the patient so as not to deteriorate)
Dr. Blue: we are doctors and patients relationship, because you are sick so I have to take good care of you ......
(in order not to hurt the patient, Dr. Blue explained half a day, and finally finished explaining)
Female patient: Dr. Lan, do you mean to say you don't love me?
Dr. Blue (bitter thought): Well ...... Well ...... Well ......
Women patients: okay .... ...I love Dr. Chen ......
One day the demon king captured the princess, and the princess kept screaming.
The Devil King: You can scream your throat out... No one will come to save you ....
Princess: "Break your throat! Broken Throat...
No one: princess... I've come to save you...
Demon King: Speak of the devil...
Cao Cao: Demon King... What are you calling me for?
The Demon King: Wow... I saw a ghost
Ghost: Shit! Got caught...
Ghost: Ghost, you can see me...
Demon: oh,mygod!
God: who called me?
Who: no one called you a...
No one: where did I? Pretending to be garlic!
Garlic: who's pretending to be me?
Who: Me again? You guys looking for trouble?
Trouble: which one is looking for me?
Which one: looking for you? I didn't... Huh, there's a lot of people here.
Many people: I just got here oh ...... who are you?
Which one: I'm not who.
Which: He's the one who isn't me.
Princess: is everyone here to save me?
Everyone: I'm not here to save you, I'm here to watch the fun.
Hilarity: what's there to see in me?
God: It's none of my business, go ahead.
Devil: you answer one question before you go, why do so many people save the princess? How can I, the Demon
King, act on?
Going down: you do not do a good demon king, what do I do?
Princess: the devil king if there is no one to act, I can go.
No one: if I play the devil king, how can I let you go...
How: I won't let the princess go, I want to watch the fun.
Hilarious: What are you looking at me for?
What: You're actually going to fuck me? Rascal!
You actually:Where did I?
Me:What's it to me?
The Lich King:Shit! I'm going crazy ......
Fuck:Shout at me for what!...
Crazy:What do you want me to do?
You want me:I don't know anything!
I don't know anything:I don't know anything!
I don't know:I'm here! Is someone calling me?
Someone: I didn't call you!
I didn't: who called him?
Who: Injustice... I didn't...
I didn't: I didn't wrong you...
You: I forgive you.
Forgive you: who said I wouldn't dare!
Who: please... I didn't say anything
I didn't say anything: what do you want me to say?
I said nothing:... You... Aren't you my long lost brother?
My long lost brother: wow... I got such a long name... I'll be called
Ah...
Who:... I have to get out of this wrong place
Which is right and wrong: So this is my place...
I don't have anything&No: You guys, we're talking...
Don't argue with us: I'm not talking...
I wasn't: I wasn't talking...
I'm not saying anything: -_-\\\\... Go... Let's go outside and talk...
Go: I'm sorry... (squirming)
I didn't do anything: None of your business... (squirming)
I've got nothing: it's none of your business... (The two brothers walk out angrily)
Nothing to do with you: oooh... Why are you kicking me out...
Why: I'm not kicking you out... Good girl... Don't cry
I didn't: oh... What's it to me again
What's it to me: What? Did someone call me?
Someone: Who's calling you...
Who: I really have to go... .T.T
Go: I'm really sorry... *v.v*(who falls to the ground)
Not your business:... Aren't you my cousin?
Not my business:... Cousin... Long time no see...
Long time: I'm not here...
Demon King: Are you guys done?
It's over: he doesn't have me
You guys: I don't have him
I do: who said that?
Who: What did you call me?
What: you're gonna fuck me?
You: I'm not going to fuck him
Me: Who says I won't?
Who: Injustice! I did not say ......
Said: asked me to do?
What: You two are shameless!
You two: I want! I want!
Face: Who wants me?
Who: I don't want it
Demon King: hurry up, if you don't, I'm going to kill you
People: you're going to kill me?
K: Who's looking for me?
Who: ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah! Don't mention my name, mention it again and I'll k him too!
Him: don't k me
Me: who wants to k me?
Who: I finally caught one, kill him......
One La: Don't catch me
Me: I've had enough of this, and I'm not going to let you off the hook if you mention my name again!
Who: Look at my Dragonfall Palm!
Me: Look at my Nine Yin White Bone Claws!
Dragonfall: what's so great about me?
Nine Yin White Bone Claws: what's so pretty about me?
What's good to look at: brother, I finally found you!
What good-looking: brother, let's go out and talk.
The Devil King: This is a family recognition meeting...
From then on, the devil king really got schizophrenia ......
-----------------------------------------
1. When I was a kid, I put on the TV series "Sleuth Hunt" and "Rogue Tycoon". A grandmother in the yard said, "Tonight's the show 'Hunt the Hooligan'."
2. a not familiar with the colleagues and I chat, chat content boring to the extreme,, net talk about how he and his girlfriend, how it
I was speechless ,,,, to speak half a day, looked at me ,,,, meaning may be, he said so much, I should always state it
A moment,, I really don't know what to say,, off the top of my head surprisingly asked a sentence: "Your girlfriend is a woman, right?
These are the first time I've ever seen a woman in the world with a girlfriend, and I've never seen one before.
3. Junior high school teachers talk about the ancient Babylonian civilization, when talking about the Sumerians, the history teacher was excited to speak into the "and the two river basins of the Shu and the United States", on the spot laughs halo
4. buy helmets together to eat, a man went up to the boss: boss, come to the two steel helmets!
(Good teeth, appetite is good, eat well.)
5. In high school, there is a classmate called Huang Jiajian
One day the class did not arrive in the classroom, the old class into the classroom to see that his seat is empty
Asked a question: Yi, Huang Jiajian people?
The whole class laughed, and from now on, they will call him a yellow bitch.
6. Before the exam teacher issued a paper, the back of the girl took one more, shouting "teacher, I have, I have" results sitting next to him said the boys "is my, is my" class burst cold ~ ~ ~ ~
7. two years ago, in the factory dry, the factory is not a good place to work, the factory is not a good place to work. Two years ago in the factory to do, one day I went with my master (in fact, older than me 1 year) to do business in the branch factory, the material clerk is a forty most of the older sister, surnamed Dong. After finishing the job, my master was very polite and wanted to say, "Sister Dong, let's go. The result is to say out into: "understand ah. "
8. There was another time, I went to buy breakfast, queuing up to find the usually unsmiling boss is also in line, so very nervous, after greetings, and drummed up the courage to say to the chef: "Master trouble to come to a cup of buns, two tits!" ~
~~~~ woo~~ two years for the first time to hear the boss laugh so loud ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ depressed ~ ~ ~
9. friends children half a year old, call to care, pleasantries, after a couple of sentences, came to a sentence: your child is now eating human milk or your milk
10. one evening, ran into an acquaintance, opened his mouth, said: "Good morning ah! "...
11. In the evening, a roommate came into the room and loudly announced: "Today I watched the midnight version of American Homicide! "
12. I went to buy a watermelon the other day and heard someone asking the melon seller: Does your watermelon have a skin?
13. A farmer sunning wheat in the yard, a few chickens came to peck, the farmer sweep, chicken scratch, and then sweep again scratch, can not stand it, cursed: "you bad things, I scratch, you sweep, I scratch, you sweep."
14. One day to go shopping, urinary urgency, found a net cafe in front, rushed into the door to the webmaster shouted: you thatched toilet in which ~?
15. In the cafeteria to buy food, saw the long desired tofu skin, an excited and waiter said, to a potato skin, the surrounding people are stunned.
16. Due to a business opportunity, to go to a certain place of the Bank of China maintenance equipment, from the hotel out of the cab to do on the female driver said: "to the Bank of China, by the way, looking for a hardware store to buy a knife" Khan! At that time I meant to buy a screwdriver, I did not notice that I said wrong, then the female driver has been looking at me very aggrieved, said: "Brother I'm going to get off work, you re-taxi it". At that time I was very angry, viciously said: "You want to get off work in the hotel parking what car ah! The female driver looked at me about to collapse and said: "Brother that after buying the knife I do not want the car money you find another one it" Halo! I just realized that I said wrong, quickly explained half a day, and now think about it all feel sorry for others female drivers.
17. The political teacher once lectured when he said: "I will give an analogy", and then felt wrong, and then said: "to give an example"
18. I remember that "Han Wu Da Di" inside
Zhang Qian from the Western region, brought new materials for iron production.
Zhang Qian came back from the Western Region and brought new materials for iron making
Smoking out a good sword, Liu Che brought it to Li Guang
Li Guang kept repeating:
Your Majesty, a good sword (cheap), Your Majesty, a good sword (cheap) a ......
Speechless... ...
19. really good donkey as a heart lung
20. junior high school, the teacher called translation Who is this man ?
One of the students translated: Who is this man? The class laughed and the teacher was speechless
21. The last time I went to McDonald's, I said to the sales clerk: come to a bag of potato chips, they said no. I said, "What kind of store? I said, what store ah even potato chips are not, said turned around and left.
22. Midterm exams, even behind the girl on the table there is a pants shaped pencil bag, I turned around, the pen bag fell, I said: "MM you pants fell"
23. I remember the road meets a dog, beside the MM surprised and shouted: ah, that tail no dog!
23. sun too ass
24. I remember when I was a kid, I went to buy a toy gun loaded with round plastic bullets, directly to the toy store grandfather said: buy a pack of original (round) bullets!
25. My classmate explained to me how to call a certain inquiry.
I wanted to ask if the person answering the phone was a real person or a voice, but I said, "Is the person answering the phone a live person or a dead person?"
26. Carrying a lot of things and gg in the train station looking for a place to store bags.
The police patrol, gg immediately went up to ask politely: "How to go to the buried package?"
27. The political class talked about the Sino-Japanese political issues, and the pulling of a pulling of a pulling of a pulling of a pulling of a talking about the Japanese samurai disemboweled himself.
The teacher said: "Japanese samurai died before the cesarean section of the ~ ~ ~"
28. Once looking for a customer called Wang, the switchboard to answer the phone is a very sweet-sounding MM, she told me his extension, I do not know what I'm looking for in the name of the king is a man or a woman, I asked by the way! I'm not sure if I'm looking for a man or a woman, so I asked in passing, "May I ask if he is a man or a woman?"
29. University period, I a student just bought a cell phone, do the mobile card, call 1860 artificial desk inquiry, a moment of excitement: please ask your ground moving band business. The first time I saw this, I heard the operator on the speakerphone saying: "We've got a lot of work to do," he said. The whole dormitory burst into laughter
30. The eleventh year of my junior year, I went to work in a shopping mall selling fish. Guests took a good pick of the fish, my classmates very gently pointing to the fish kill table said to him:
"You go over there, someone will kill you...
31.
31. Yesterday, a man said he would introduce me to a girlfriend, I was going to ask "beautiful", but the result was "cheap". I'm not sure if I've ever been in a position to do that before!
32. The teacher told us, "Be honest when you're riding in the car on the spring trip, and don't always throw your head and arms out."
33. My husband is particularly thin, once I was anxious to say, "Husband, look at you thin like a pig!
34. One day went to Tianjin more famous bridge road food store to buy food. Almost every time to buy wife cake to eat! The result of the day I saw a new slightly smaller cake, look basically the same, but I'm not sure, so to the sales clerk aunt asked: "This is a small wife cake?"
Results of the whole field of blank stares
35. cousin's home to open the kindergarten, once she had an emergency, I have to go to help her take care of those children 1 hour, play games and tell stories and so on. The first time I had to deal with more than 10 kids, I was able to get them to come back to me for a few hours. The first time to face more than ten children, too nervous, tongue tied: "Children, today auntie to tell you a "Allah lamp" story (Aladdin and the Divine Lamp) ......... "
36.
Concave out
Concave in ....
37.
The original text of the announcer's script: two thugs fled after injuring my 110 police officers
The announcer reads it as: two thugs fled after injuring my 110 police officers
(Huang Fei-hung reincarnated!)
38.
When I was in high school I was in a class with my brother, who sat right behind me
One night our geography teacher asked us:
Which one of you is the older sister? Who is the younger brother?
At that time I froze
39.
Once I bought a cold skin back to the dormitory, I went to another dormitory to sneak around, and came back to find my roommates eating my cold skin.
When they saw me come back, one of them said to me: How come you just came back? The cold skin is cold!
40.
The day I wanted to drink a soda, rushed a few steps towards the cold drink stand want to say come to a bottle of soda, unexpectedly saw the beer placed in front of me, a rush actually said: "boss, come to a bottle of fart water", the boss ...... ............
41.
Just now a colleague read the newspaper and asked, "Yesterday, the Chinese team won by one to a few?"
China won by one, and Singapore couldn't come up with a negative number
42. There used to be a game on the red-and-white machine called "The Wilderness Dartboard," which we usually called "The Wilderness Whoremonger"
43. There was a commentator who said, "We're going to break out of Asia and break out of the world!
44. Once, my husband and I had a fight, and he called me a "pig!" I scolded him: "You are the husband of a pig.". After scolding really feel like a pig.
45. we a colleague, he went to take the driving license, said a classic words to the examiner:
Report instrument,, the examiner normal ~~~~~~
46. I remember once, and a sister to go to KFC, queuing up when I listened to her mouth reciting words, a chicken leg burger, a pair of chicken wings ...... The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on some of the most popular products and services in the world, and you'll be able to do that. The class president wanted to remind them to buy beer to buy cans, probably because just now has been talking about international current events, the class president stood up and shouted: "Beer to Iraq ah ~ ~ ~ ~"
We all poured, the two boys crazy.
48. MM told me about KFC's new "Bone and Flesh" (skewers of meat with crunchy bones), and asked me to take her there to eat, and it was so hot in Beijing those days that I was in a daze, and when I got to the restaurant, I smiled at the KFC lady and said, "Please give me two of the "Bone and Flesh", thank you! ", thank you! .............
No place to go -_-!
49. Once, my classmate asked me which department another classmate was in the hospital, I couldn't remember, I thought it was like internal medicine and acupuncture, and then I said she was in the "guilt department".
50.
A boy saw his uncle: "Buy uncle ah, two dishes!"
Uncle: "This child, so big words, even people can not say!"
51.
When I was inducted into my school regiment, there was only me and another girl (belonging to the miserable kind), and our regimental secretary presided over it without hesitation, "Today is the day of the two students' great joy ......" The rest of the students laughed their asses off.
52. a classmate to his friend's home to call, the other side of the grandfather to pick up, that classmate do not know what to think, opened his mouth is: "Grandpa, I'm a grandmother ......"
53 I would like to dedicate this book to my glorious excellence, subdued wife, without whom I would be nothing. It was she who gave me comfort in my pain, and renewed my faith when I failed.
She never whined, never interfered with my career, never got to the bottom of the matter, and never judged, the trials and tribulations of life she always bore in silence. (Author's Note - Special thanks to my wife for the foreword to this book)