"The so-called life is to live well once you get here." This is a sentence from "Live Well". Before doing this operation, it may be just a sentence for me, but now it is more of a belief.
It may be true, life can be clearer and more transparent after life and death.
Looking back on those four hours' experience now, it seems that I have grown a lot at once. I can't say how strong I am, but more about thinking about life in a short time.
At 9: 30, I didn't wait for the registered expert to make a house call. I want to protect my children. After B-ultrasound, I was arranged by the nurse to sit in a wheelchair and pushed to the inpatient department.
The emergency doctor immediately gave me a hospitalization slip and told me that the embryo had grown to 7cm, while the normal fallopian tube diameter was only 1cm. The embryo has stretched the fallopian tube so large that it is at risk of rupture and massive bleeding at any time. Surgery must be performed immediately, and any delay 1 minute is life-threatening.
Take blood pressure, temperature, electrocardiogram, draw multiple tubes of blood, prepare before operation and take photos. The preparation time is less than two hours. Because after breakfast at 8: 30 in the morning, you have to insert a stomach tube from the nasal cavity through the esophagus to suck out the food.
From that moment on, I couldn't speak. The only thing I can do is wait for the operation.
The doctor asked me to talk to Da Yuanbao, sign and change my gown. The whole process is quite calm, as if every minute is a gift from God.
The doctor told me to stay in the hospital bed and rest, don't push. Arrange the operation as soon as the operating table is empty.
I won't let Dayuanbao inform anyone, including my parents. It wasn't until the doctor said that the bleeding needed blood transfusion that he said that he would call my brother to the hospital.
In the last hour, I didn't want to rest for a minute.
I took out my mobile phone, finished my article for "Little Doudou" and published it, hoping to say goodbye to this little life. I typed with my mobile phone and told Da Yuanbao about the aftermath, saying that there are no regrets in life, only the guilt for my parents. If anything happens, I hope he can leave our house to his brother, so as to make up for my parents.
Seeing my brother coming with his girlfriend, I finally burst into tears and gave up the world inexplicably.
Doctor, the three of them seem to have pushed me into the operating room for a long time. Counting the lights hanging all the way in the corridor, from the ward to the operating room, a * * *, 28 lights, through seven doors. I meditate on people and things I care about, from my parents to my relatives and friends, from the first house I remember to every place I have been. I keep repeating myself in my mind: if today is the last day of my life, I will face it calmly and have no regrets.
Actually, the real fear is not from the ward to the operating room. After all, there are always close people around.
When the doctor carried me to the operating table, I really felt inexplicable sadness and anxiety from the bottom of my heart. The nurse tied my hands and feet to the operating table and began to tremble all over. The whole person could not help shivering.
She kept saying to me, "You are really nervous. Come on, relax, don't be so nervous. "
I inserted the stomach tube, but I couldn't say a word, and tears kept running down my cheeks.
She asked me, "Are you afraid or cold?" I nodded and shook my head, and I didn't know whether it was fear or cold.
Finally, the surgeon came. He joked with me: "If you are nervous, we will be nervous. Relax, little girl. "
I turned to look at him, and he gave me an encouraging look and began to calm down gradually.
Take blood pressure, do electrocardiogram, insert anesthesia needle tube, I wait quietly, silently pray for the smooth operation.
"This little girl is so thin, she has no fat at all." This is the last thing I heard from the surgeon.
When I woke up, the nurse said to me, "The operation went well. You can go back to the ward after observing it. " With that, she walked away.
I opened my mouth and my stomach tube was torn, but I still couldn't speak. Looking up and looking around, it is no longer an operating table. According to the movements after yoga break, you can really move your fingers and toes.
I raised my hand and knocked on the guardrail of the hospital bed. The nurse came to ask me what I needed. I pointed to my lower body to say that I need to go to the toilet.
She said, "It doesn't matter. You can go directly. There is a catheter."
I didn't feel the humidity on the mattress, so I confirmed that I really woke up from the operation. At that moment, my heart breathed a sigh of relief and I was more grateful for my rebirth. I silently told myself that I must live well, live seriously and love myself.
Appreciate the true feelings that life gives.
On the morning of my birthday, I opened WeChat and saw the birthday wishes from Yi's fairy zero. I haven't received the blessing of my best friend's vigil for many years. They gave me a birthday surprise when I was in college. This time it turned out to be a little fairy who had never met before. It was really touching. It's really warm to watch what she wrote word for word.
Then, it was Zhu Xiao's sister who gave me a confession letter. I read it many times this day, and I am grateful every time.
I'm really glad to meet such a girlfriend, not only sincerely, but more importantly, understanding. Many times, we are like another self, but we also inspire ourselves to keep working hard. It is really a happy thing to know that there is another person in this world who lives as hard as himself and lives with his heart.
The birthday greeting on the screen of the Cheng Yue Pavilion is really the first time I have received it for so long. Strangers meet because of fate, appreciate each other because of writing and treat each other sincerely because of love. It is really the warmest thing. I think this is the most special blessing in my birthday. I am very grateful that I am a month old brother.
In the afternoon, Xiao Zhuo's school sister and husband also came to see me. In fact, she told me after the operation went well, and the old man over there has returned to his hometown, so it is inconvenient for two people to take care of the children. However, I still let the students go downstairs with the baby and come to the ward with my husband. I really find that some feelings don't need too many words, so I really just hope you are really good. I think we all do.
Of course, there are my parents, relatives and friends. When sharing my sister's letter, all my friends who care about me send WeChat greetings. It was really warm at that moment. Maybe many friends don't contact me often, but when you see me in the hospital, call or send a message to me immediately. I think this is the truest truth in the world.
Even the patient in the next bed bought me a pillow as a birthday present when he saw my younger brothers celebrating my birthday. After only two days together, I felt the warmth of the world.
I think these are really the greatest warmth in life, enough to warm the rest of my life.
Appreciate the time given by life.
A special birthday is a rebirth and a new life.
Sister Zhu Xiao sent me a photo of the sunrise from the other side of the ocean. I know this means "rebirth".
Sure enough, there are some tacit understandings that don't need too many words.
As it happens, I read some thoughts about "life" today. I want to use these words as a guideline and reference for my future life.
I hope not to work too hard, or I hope to give priority to other things. Don't try to be brave, there are other more important things in life.
I hope I can better express my true feelings. Express yourself better.
I hope I can take better care of my body. Take care of yourself.
I hope there will be less trouble. Don't worry too much.
I hope I have stepped out of my comfort zone and done something new. Get out of your comfort zone and try more new things.
I want to read my dreams carefully, not my expectations. Really pursue your dreams, not simple expectations.
I hope to spend more time with people I care about. You can spend more time with the people you love.
Finally, I wish everyone I love, including myself, a warm and eternal partner and a flowery smile, a healthy and happy life.