In the past, I always felt that the name "teacher" was filled with a feeling of being overwhelmed. Teachers must pay great attention to their words and deeds if they want to "teach and educate people and be a model", especially not to have the slightest gaffe in front of students and not to cross the line at any time. But I am a lively and emotional person by nature. When I am happy, I want to play with my students. When I am angry, I feel that nothing is pleasing to the eye. No one should disturb me when I am sad. My personality seems to be out of proportion to the teacher's identity and role, so I'm always worried that something will happen that doesn't suit my mind. I must suppress my emotions and personality every day and try to be "like a teacher". Especially as a class teacher, I am often confused by all kinds of negative events, and all kinds of negative emotions are inevitable. The result is to make myself look like a "teacher", become unlike myself, and often feel very tired.
I consciously adjusted my mentality and unconsciously found a solution to the problem when I seriously taught myself the textbooks of mental health education.
"Learn to be a teacher, be a teacher by example", teachers are indeed models for students to learn knowledge and be a man, but at the same time teachers are also ordinary people, with secular desires and joys and sorrows. As a model of human beings, teachers must really restrain bad emotions and always keep polite manners; As ordinary people, teachers need to vent their bad emotions in time, release psychological pressure and maintain physical and mental health. So how to coordinate the requirements of these two roles without damaging the glorious image of teachers and protecting their mental health? I think when we face negative events and have negative emotions, looking at the problem from another angle can often make us have the best of both worlds. If we look at the problem from another angle, we can solve the problem cognitively. Once we solve the problem cognitively, we can solve the problem fundamentally, so that we can actively guide and adjust our emotions instead of forcibly suppressing negative emotions, so that negative emotions can be expressed in a timely and appropriate manner, so that our physical and mental health will not be affected.
So, I tried this method and it was really good.
The first is contentment. Whether life is happy or not depends on whether you are satisfied. As the saying goes, people's desires are endless. When a desire is satisfied, there will be more desires. Too many desires are too high, and you will never be satisfied and happy. Facing all kinds of unsatisfied desires, we need to understand them from another angle. For example, I once had a serious psychological imbalance compared with those students who graduated from college and went to work in big cities for high salaries: their academic performance was not worse than theirs, and their ability was not weaker than theirs. Why is my situation so much worse than theirs? Now I compare it from different angles: I got my salary four years earlier than them, and I invested less in education than them, but I can also get a college diploma through self-study. I have more leisure time than them. I work in the "most glorious career under the sun" and earn less than them, but my spiritual world is richer than theirs. I can still enjoy the happiness of being full of peaches and plums. As long as I work hard, I will have better development opportunities in the future. In this way, I can face this simple life calmly, devote myself wholeheartedly to the cause of "king of the children", rejoice in my little progress, and be filled with hope and satisfaction.
The second is psychological transposition. Views are often an important reason for conflicts between people. People will inevitably have such contradictions and differences with family, friends, colleagues, students or leaders in their lives. This kind of contradiction and disagreement will make people sad and angry. If both sides of the contradiction hold their own opinions and do not give in to each other, it may also lead to excessive words and deeds, which will lead to the deterioration of interpersonal relationships and is very harmful to mental health. To avoid this situation, we need psychological empathy: try to put yourself in the other person's position and you will find that the other person's point of view is not unreasonable. For example, my parents always put forward all kinds of excessive demands on me: I want to work hard in my studies and get my undergraduate diploma after studying science; To be excellent at work, students should take the first place every time; I have to be thrifty in life and do all the housework ... I'm tired of it, and sometimes I really want to have a big fight with them. But from my parents' point of view, they are also good for me. "Looking forward to my child's success" and "Looking forward to my woman's success" are common problems of parents today. If I become a parent myself one day, I will definitely become a copy of them and put such high demands on my children. In this way, my anger and resentment disappeared a lot.
The third is to learn the transfer of cognitive objects. When we are troubled by a problem and are overly nervous and anxious because of an accident, we may wish to temporarily force our attention to other things. Some problems are puzzling, and the more you think about them, the more annoying your mind becomes. At this time, if you change the content of an activity, your mood will change and you may be relieved.
The fourth is to vent reasonably. For example, talk to someone. When you feel troubled, talk to a trusted friend. As long as the other person is willing to listen patiently, your psychological pressure will be reduced a lot. Another example is keeping a diary. When no one is around to talk, I write down my words. Besides, everyone always has some secret things that can't be shared with others. You might as well take out a piece of paper and write freely. It doesn't matter how you write, what you write, whether it is fluent or not, or whether it is finished. It doesn't matter if you tear it off on the spot or chew it carefully later, but your mood may be much easier. Another example is listening to music, singing and shouting when you are not satisfied, so as to dispel the long-accumulated depression and laziness in your heart. I really feel helpless. Finding a place where no one is around or hiding in bed and crying will also have a good effect. Of course, teachers' reasonable venting is carried out in a way that they can accept without disturbing others, otherwise it may be counterproductive.
The fifth is self-comfort. Although Ah Q in Lu Xun's works is foolish and ridiculous, his self-deception and self-comfort make him live at the bottom of society, but he doesn't feel pain. When we encounter a sudden heavy mental shock, in order to prevent mental breakdown, we can learn from Ah Q, and we might as well deceive ourselves and say to ourselves: A blessing in disguise is a blessing in disguise. When we are exhausted by the heavy work, we may feel much better if we just think about the migrant workers who work 15 or 16 hours a day but only get a meager salary.
Really, looking at the problem from another angle can greatly change our mood and make our life more colorful.