From the end of one stage to the beginning of the next.
People are no longer single and independent individuals, but have strong family ties.
A bond closely linked to the ancestral family.
Some people say that marriage is the grave of love, so what killed love and made it disappear gradually in marriage?
After marriage, many women will gradually focus on their children and put them first.
The second is your own business.
The third is the husband.
This ranking not only makes women feel wronged, but also makes them feel that they have contributed a lot to this family. As the other half, men and children are also uncomfortable.
Men are uncomfortable because they lack love and can't get the attention of their wives.
Children are uncomfortable because they are paid too much attention and have no freedom.
I feel sad because I gave my love to my children, but I couldn't get the understanding of my children and my husband. After a long time, I am empty.
In psychology, "Butterfly Diagram of Relative Order" gives the correct order:
The first is husband-wife relationship.
The second is the relationship with children.
The third is the relationship with the family.
Further is the relationship with friends, brothers and sisters. ...
When a family is in this order, it is a relatively healthy and happy relationship, and there will be fewer marital problems.
Because when the relationship between husband and wife becomes the core, both sides can be nourished in this relationship and experience enough love, the third party will have no chance.
If the order of husband and wife is different,
For example, the man is: wife first, children second,
The woman is the first child and the second husband.
Then this man doesn't feel enough love. After a long time, he will be disheartened and unwilling to put his wife first.
Ordered:
The first step is to know your current ranking.
Give you a simple method: you can look at it from the perspective of time allocation and energy allocation.
Partner/child/parent/friend: Which of these four roles do you spend the most time and energy on?
The role with the most time and energy is your first level, and the second level is your second level.
After finding the sort, the second step is:
Learn to manage the relationship between husband and wife. The relationship between husband and wife comes first.
Psychologically, all relationships have the following two endings:
Better: romantic period, competitive period, running-in period, commitment period, creative period, and finally achieve eternal romance.
Relatively bad: romantic period, competitive period, indifferent period, separation period and transcendence period.
Generally speaking, the competition period is generally 6-8 years after marriage.
Many of the "seven-year itch" of life are stuck in the competition period. At the cut-off point of the competition period, they lack introverted consciousness and move towards separation.
The third step, to manage a good relationship between husband and wife, requires "inward awareness." What is "inner consciousness"?
There are three main aspects of inward awareness:
Pay attention to your emotional state,
My own thoughts,
And your own expectations.
Pay attention to your emotions, you can take care of your emotions, learn to take care of your emotions and learn to love yourself.
Paying attention to your own thoughts and adjusting your unreasonable cognition is also a manifestation of loving yourself. Only by learning to love yourself can you learn to love each other.
Pay attention to your expectations, be clear about what you want the other person to do, and express it to the other person, so that two people can open their hearts and understand each other better. Only by getting to know each other can two people be nourished and loved in this relationship.
When two people nourish each other, the relationship between husband and wife naturally comes first.
And when you can handle the relationship between the first order, you also have the ability to automatically optimize the order.
Because all relationships are essentially connected. One relationship can be handled well, and other relationships can naturally be handled well.