The way American families educate their children.
If you don't eat yourself, you deserve to starve to death.
David, a young man studying in China, married a foreign daughter-in-law and gave birth to a child in the United States after graduation. David's mother also lived with them from China to New York for some time. As a grandmother, she naturally loves her grandson. It didn't take long for the daughter-in-law and China's mother-in-law to educate their children differently.
One day at noon, the child lost his temper while eating, and the foreign daughter-in-law said, forget it if you don't eat, and don't eat at night. Two-year-old hybrids are also stubborn. Don't eat, don't eat. So in the evening, the foreign daughter-in-law asked China's mother-in-law to cook some China specialties, including sweet and sour pork tenderloin, which half-blood likes very much. The foreign daughter-in-law has arranged the table beautifully, and all kinds of meals are available. Dinner is ready. The hybrid forgot what he said at noon and asked his mother why he didn't have his tableware.
The foreign daughter-in-law said, "You don't eat at noon, and you say you don't eat at night. You must keep your promise. "
Hearing this, China's mother-in-law didn't take it seriously at that time. She felt that the foreign daughter-in-law was at best scaring the children, so she didn't say anything, so she called her son and daughter-in-law over for dinner. However, when China's mother-in-law was eating, she found that her daughter-in-law was unmoved and didn't want her children to eat at the table, although she had been standing by for a long time. This time, China's mother-in-law began to feel distressed. She quickly carried the plate, wrapped the sweet and sour tenderloin for the child and gave it to her grandson.
Seeing this, the foreign daughter-in-law immediately stopped: leave him alone, he doesn't want to eat at noon, or even says he won't eat at night. Keep your promise. Hungry or not is his own business. Hungry a few times, he will know for himself.
China's mother-in-law frowned: Aren't you abusing children? Not even giving him food.
The foreign daughter-in-law replied that it was not that we didn't give him food, but that he didn't eat it himself, and of course he had to bear the consequences.
China's son David also advised his mother: Mom, don't worry. The boy doesn't eat well. He should suffer.
China's mother-in-law didn't want to make trouble with her daughter-in-law, so she had to give up.
When the adults returned to the table for dinner, the children were still watching the adults eating in the corner, and their mouths were almost watering. At first, the child insisted that his mother give him food. If it doesn't work, he will cry and make a scene. It's still useless. The meal is finished.
When sleeping at night, the child is hungry and knows that if he doesn't eat, he will starve to death. It's really unpleasant So I took the initiative to apologize to my mother and admit that I was wrong. I shouldn't lose my temper. I must eat well in the future. Now can you give him a glass of milk first, because he is really hungry.
The daughter-in-law poured the child a glass of milk, and the child went to bed after drinking it. From that day on, the children behaved well every time they ate.
In fact, from this incident, we can see the great difference between Chinese and American parents in educating their children.
American children eat all over their faces, and their parents don't care. Moreover, American children have lunch at school every noon from the first grade of primary school. Parents don't know anything about how their children eat and don't ask at all.
When American families eat, there are several dishes on the table, and children can eat whatever they want. Almost all American children don't like to eat green vegetables. Although American parents know the nutritional value of green vegetables, they will never force their children to eat them. When American children eat, they can put down their knives and forks or even leave the table as soon as they say they are full. The attitude and practice of Americans in eating embodies a core goal of American children's education: to cultivate children's independent thinking ability.
When children eat, they must decide what they like and what they don't like. If he doesn't have enough to eat and doesn't eat for fun, he will starve after a while. Americans love to say that making mistakes is an indispensable learning process. Children who grow up in such a living environment know from an early age that they have the ability to know what they want and what they don't want. If you don't want to eat, say you don't want to eat. Say you are full when you are full. They are full of confidence in themselves and know that their parents trust them.
Two shoes are put on backwards, correct them by yourself.
Or the story of the David family
Once, I was a guest at David's house, and it happened that the child was going out to play with friends. I saw him putting on his shoes at the door to prepare toys, and grandma China was there at that time. When the child put on his shoes and was ready to go out, Grandma China suddenly stopped him with a smile: Baby, your shoes are on backwards. Come on, come on, grandma will put it on you.
The foreign daughter-in-law immediately grabbed China's mother-in-law and said, Let him go and leave him alone.
The child saw nothing and ran out to play like a gust of wind.
Before long, the child ran back and said, mom, mom, my shoes are broken and uncomfortable to wear!
Mom immediately said: Are the shoes uncomfortable? Please ask Jerry to come in and see how his shoes are different from yours.
The child called Jerry in doubtfully, and then studied Jerry's shoes carefully. Finally, the child found that his shoes and Jerry's shoes were bent in different directions. Jerry bends inward. He bends his shoes outward. The child pointed out to his mother, and her mother said, why don't you change your two shoes into your left and right feet?
The child obediently took off his shoes at once, and then changed his left and right feet to put them on. Sure enough, he is much more comfortable. Then he realized that his shoes were on backwards!
China's mother-in-law watched her children go out to play with friends again, and then asked her daughter-in-law, "Is a pair of shoes on backwards?" ? You change it for him, and he will know. Why bother?
Foreign daughter-in-law said: not the same. He always wears his own clothes and shoes, and he must do his own thing. Even if he doesn't do well, we won't help him. He did something wrong, tasted the consequences, and will naturally change next time. For example, this time the shoes were put on backwards. When he saw that his friend's shoes were not worn like this, he naturally knew that they were worn backwards. If he falls, he will know that the shoes are uncomfortable to wear, easy to fall, and wrestling will hurt.
Sure enough, since then, David's children's shoes have never been worn inside out. Every time he sees someone else's children's shoes on backwards, he will correct them and tell them how to wear them. It's so cute.
Many people may disagree with foreign wives. Some people think that children are young and ignorant, and adults should try their best to help them overcorrect, so that they can make fewer mistakes, suffer fewer setbacks and get less hurt on the road of life.
In fact, I quite agree with the views of foreign daughter-in-law. Children should be allowed to go their own way. Even if they make mistakes, even if they fall, they should be allowed to experience and correct themselves.
I don't like parents swearing, complaining about their children's uselessness, worrying about everything by themselves, and agreeing to almost everything the children ask. Like a hen, she always protects her children and does everything. I like the way American parents treat their children best. They don't pay or swear. What do you need, work hard, create, and don't interfere, and often let children have some small goals and strive to achieve them one by one. Such as: buying toys, traveling, staying at home or work-study programs. The money you earn is at your disposal.
3. Deal with your social problems.
Mr. Mike, an old American neighbor in our community, has a lovely son named Mark. Mark has a very beautiful bike. The children in the community are envious of him and always want to borrow his beautiful bike to ride. But Mark cherishes this car very much and is unwilling to lend it to his children. Therefore, whenever Mark plays a bike, he always plays alone, because he is afraid that the children will pester him to borrow it.
Over time, the children in the community don't like playing with him, and everyone doesn't exchange toys with him.
After a while, Mark's passion for cycling passed, and he began to miss the feeling of playing crazy with his children. He even wants to lend his bike to everyone to ride. However, the child seems to hold a grudge, and everyone is no longer willing to play with him.
Mark had no choice but to run home and tell Mr. Mike that the children stopped playing with me. Dad, can you tell the children for me? I am willing to lend my bike to everyone. I also want to play Jeffery's train and play hide-and-seek with everyone.
Hearing this, Mr. Mike immediately refused his request and said, Mark, you are already a little man. You have to bear the mistakes you made and solve the problems yourself. You can discuss it with the children yourself. If you can't do it once, try a few more times and everyone will forgive you.
As a result, Mark had no choice but to run to the children, apologize to them and ask them to accept him again. Later, the children played together again. You ride my bike and I'll play with your little train.
In contrast, the China family is very different. When children are excluded or bullied by other children, China's parents' first reaction is: Whoever dares to bully our children, we will settle accounts with him!
Too much involvement of adults in children's social problems will easily lead to poor social skills of children and they don't know how to deal with interpersonal problems. This root is actually that parents don't know how to cultivate their children's ability to solve problems independently.
I dare not say that American education is good and successful, but many of their ideas of educating children are very worthy of our reference.
Experience of American Children's Family Education
1. When children's ambitions are different from parents' designs for their children's future, encourage children's dreams, no matter how strange they seem to parents, because it also requires enough courage. Moreover, children's dreams are often the beginning of their success.
2. Provide opportunities. Ability needs to be enhanced through training, and there needs to be opportunities to hone. Therefore, most parents let their children join sports teams, boy scouts, extracurricular activity groups and other community organizations, so that their children can gain experience in interacting with others from an early age.
3. Fully encourage. The child's insignificant success deserves the praise of his parents. This is not to say that children are cheated by lies, nor that parents can never criticize their children. Criticism should be combined with praise.
4. Ask more "ifs". "Possibility thinking" is an important aspect of life ability. The kind of child who studies a difficult problem seriously and shows others how to solve it will ask, "What if I do this?" Parents should encourage their children to do more such thinking, so that children can think about the cause and effect of problems from an early age and take fewer detours.
12 American family education principles
1. Ownership rule: ensure that children grow up in a healthy family environment;
2. Law of Hope: Always let children see hope;
3. Law of Strength: Never compete with children;
4. Management rules: Parents have the responsibility to control their children before they are underage;
5. Voice rule: Although children have no decision-making power at home, they must listen to their voices;
6. The power of example: the influence of words and deeds on children is enormous;
7. Seek common ground while reserving differences: respect children's views on the world and try to understand them;
8. Punishment method: This method is easy to make children have rebellious psychology and revenge psychology, so use it with caution!
9. Consequence rule: Let children know the possible consequences of their actions in the real world;
10. structural rules: teach children to understand the boundaries between morality and law from an early age;
11."20 yards" rule: to cultivate children's sense of independence, parents should keep at least 20 yards away from their children;
12. "Four Ho" rule: In any case, you should know who the child is with, where he is, what he is doing and when he will go home.
1. An Analysis of American Family Education
2. What are the methods of educating children abroad?
3. How do American parents educate their families?
How do American parents educate their children at home?
5. How do rich Americans educate their children?