A and B (together): Hello everyone! (Bowing)
A festival is coming. What day is today? Do you know that?/You know what?
B: What?
A: What other day could it be? 1 month 1 day is not New Year's Day, can it still be a square egg?
You mean round eggs? Aren't all eggs round?
A: Don't talk nonsense, I'm talking about Chinese New Year!
Okay, let's get down to business. I heard that CCTV is holding a get-together, and the host level is really not good!
A: Isn't it? At the beginning of the party, the host came out to announce the curtain call (with a turning point): "The New Year's Eve party is over!" "
B: Huh? Really? How did it end before it started?
A: That's nothing. There will be worse!
B: What's the matter?
A: The next program is the Yellow River Chorus. In order to make up for the previous mistakes, the host specially added a line (full of passion): "The Yellow River is our mother river! It has a long history and has given birth to countless Chinese sons and daughters. Please enjoy the chorus (stretching tone)-"Song of the Yangtze River"! "
B: Look at the excitement. You can't tell the Yangtze River from the Yellow River!
A: Another program is the dance when the maple leaves are red, and the host comes up again (holding his chest with both hands, sweetly): "Please enjoy the dance-when the red leaves are crazy."
This is nowhere to be found! I don't think Hongye is crazy, but I'm going crazy!
A: Next, the host recited the soundtrack prose Huangguoshu Waterfall (lyric, b humming music): "Today, I'm going to visit the world-famous Huangguoshu. At the foot of the mountain, we began to March over mountains and mountains. I was shocked! I saw a rag hanging on the cliff ... "(interrupted by B)
B: A rag! When did the rag that wiped the table run halfway up the mountain?
A: Don't be too busy laughing! There are more interesting things!
B: Huh?
A: The next program is the children's solo "Little Girl Picking Mushrooms", and the host came up again (with a clear voice): "Please enjoy the children's solo-"Little Girl Picking Mushrooms "!"
B: Ha ha! This little mushroom is really amazing!
A: Next is the flute solo "Whipping a whip and driving a horse to transport grain", which is about the happy scene of farmers harvesting and driving a carriage to transport grain after autumn. The host announced: "Please enjoy the only son's flute-"Whipping Horses and Conveying Rogues "!"
B: Huh? What kind of only child is this? Still carrying hooligans!
A: The last program is Xinjiang folk song "Lift your hijab". The host was confident this time and said unhurriedly (confidently): "Please enjoy the Xinjiang folk song" Lift Your Head "! (with action) "
(B turned to run, but was stopped by A) A: Crosstalk is not over yet. What are you running for?
B: I'll lose my head if I don't leave!
A and B (bow together): Thank you!
Shanghai beach bund
Location: roadside
People: Xu Wenqiang, Li Ding, Xiao Chengcheng, Iowa.
Narrator: The story happened in a stall near the Bund in Shanghai (the light hit Xu's face). It is a charming place, well proportioned, ashamed of Pan An and angry with Song Yu. Blood is spilled all day (just beating Xu's watermelon stall).
Xu: I don't sell watermelons, I sell loneliness.
(Light moves to Xiao's face) With a touch of ink, onion, ginger and garlic, I firmly believe that all roads lead to Rome (light hits Xiao's noodle stall)
Xiao: Drinking chicken soup should be healthy, eating chicken should live longer, and making up broth. Noodles experts are the first choice.
(Light moves to Ding's face) A person creates a bright light under people's feet with his firm life creed. (Ding nails shoes, nails to the hand)
(giggle) My name is Li Ding, and I'm from Li Ding, Li Ding. Nailing shoes is easy.
(Narrator: Xu Wenqiang, who sells watermelons, and Li Ding, who repairs shoes, fell in love with a noodle girl with a full face of oil smoke! )
Ding and Xu turned their backs to Xiao at the same time. Xiao found that something was missing, so he took a step back to look for it. Ding and Xu hold hands and turn around together. They both vomited at the same time.
Xu went back to the watermelon stall (selling): selling watermelons, big and sweet watermelons, free of charge if they are not sweet.
Shang: Boss Xu, have a sweet one.
Xu (lowering his voice): Why are you here?
Boss, let me sell watermelon with you.
(Turning to Ding) Hey, Aligo, what are you looking at?
D: TV.
I asked about TV.
D: color TV.
I mean what movie.
D: Martial arts movies.
I asked your name.
Ding: I'm a beautiful boy who loves flowers but doesn't shed tears. Of course, you can also call me Li Ding.
Be sure to faint. Ding kicked and pushed her.
Looking at it, Ding sang to Xiao affectionately: You are the most beautiful in my heart, and every bowl of noodles makes me intoxicated, your smile, your beauty and your pouting mouth when you can't put it down.
Xiao was surprised. Ding Sing: I love you, love you, just like the upper loves the sole. No matter how far you go, as long as the shoes don't open, I will still accompany you. The upper loves the sole.
Xiao (dropping something in his hand, lowering his voice excitedly): Huh? Do they all like me? What shall we do? They are all so excellent, but they are so cruel and miserable. Who should I choose? (suddenly awakened) Hey! Got it!
(Put the bowl aside) Sing: Wait a thousand years, wait a minute. Aha. I love you, you are my Romeo and I want to be your Zhu Yingtai. I will marry whoever confesses to me, and I will not marry whoever does not confess to me.
(Ding applauds and hits his hand with a hammer) Ding: It's beautiful (turns to frown) But what does this mean?
X: Oh, Cheng Cheng means that she will go with whoever goes with her.
Oh, my brain. It would be better if you sang it again and listened to it again.
(Xu takes out a fruit knife and cuts his finger. Brush and write a few words in the notebook, ready to pass it to Xiao)
Xu (shyly): Hehe ... a little shy.
(Xu walks to Xiao's booth. Xiao looks at Xu, covers his face with a notebook, kicks the stone at his foot and walks to Ding. )
(Ding touches his head and talks to himself, while Xu listens) Ding: What do you mean by Cheng Cheng? What does she mean?
With his intelligence, it is an insult to compare with him. However, he can run errands.
Come on, Ali, give this to Cheng Cheng and tell him I gave it to her.
Ding Qi: Oh, great.
X: Be a good boy. I came back to buy you candied haws.
(Ding goes to Xiao's booth and throws the book on Xiao's booth) Ding: Here you are, here you are. (in a low voice) I will marry whoever confesses to me. What does this mean?
Xiao: Love letter!
Xu: Cheng Cheng ...
Xiao: Cheng Cheng, I love you very much.
Xiao: Oh, my God, seven of these eight short words are typos! How romantic.
(Xu stops Xiao) Xu: Cheng Cheng, what do you like about me?
Xiao: I like you to stay away from me.
(Xiao bypasses Xu and jumps into Ding's arms) Xiao: Ali, you are so literary. Since you say so, I'll choose you.
D: love letter, love letter. he is ...
D: I think that's it.
Ding: You are the cotton candy in my heart, a sweet dream. With you, the world is getting old, even at dawn. Can we just wander freely, and love will bloom quietly in our hearts?
Xiao: My most romantic dream is to grow old with you. When we can't go anywhere, you still treat me as a treasure in your hand.
Xu: Ali, did you show my letter to Cheng Cheng?
D: Yes, I received it.
Xu: Cheng Cheng read my confession letter.
D: of course, of course.
Xu: Then why are you hugging each other?
He's with me.
Xu: Cheng Cheng is a happy family.
X: What am I happy about?
Xu: Ali.
D: Don't ask me anything now, and don't ask me anything later.
X: What should I do now?
D: You said that since we are single, who cares about who?
X: You mean liberating one from the other, right?
Hey, hey ... Look, he's smarter than me. Remember, you'd better be single if you want to get mixed up in the Jianghu.
X: No, I don't agree.
Shaw: Ali, we are going to France to get married.
D: Yes, we are going to France not only to get married, but also to sell noodles.
X: You should stop for a while, and I will have a meeting with Cheng Cheng. Selling noodles in France requires a hygiene license.
Xiao: Stay away.
Cheng Cheng, let's go to Paris by plane.
Shaw: Ali, it's a fly.
A: Brother Qiang, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Don't forget the concert tonight.
X: Actually, I am a singer. Selling watermelons is just my hobby.
X: The love letter I just wrote has become a memory of yesterday. I have worked hard for half my life, and I am single again tonight. I can't go with the flow on my beloved journey.
The heart is in the dream, and there is true love between heaven and earth. Life is a hero, if you see success or failure, but if you fail, start all over again.
Xiao: I believe everyone who does this has their own disappointments. It's okay. It's a big deal.
Close: start over.