Lead: What are the common psychological problems in college students' love? In the process of love, both parties need to consciously assume corresponding responsibilities and have corresponding moral constraints. The following lists the common psychological problems in college students' love, hoping to help you!
Common psychological problems in college students' love 1 1. Common psychological problems in college students' love.
1, conformity psychology
Although there is no need for some college students to fall in love for the time being, seeing their intimacy and affection will naturally stimulate their love consciousness and behavior. If you can't find a suitable partner, or no one woos him, loneliness, crisis and loss will emerge, causing strong psychological pressure. In addition, some people lack opinions about lovers. Others say that they are good, and they feel good; When others say that they are not good, they feel uncomfortable, and often go with the flow and ruin their love.
2. Comparative psychology
Because of their immature psychological development, college students often lack careful consideration before deciding to do something. The same is true of love, which is often manifested in comparing with others and satisfying vanity. Several students in the same dormitory, once someone is in love, others will not show weakness, and they will talk about it one after another, forgetting to consider whether it is true love.
3. Jealousy
It is common to have jealousy in love. When you know that the person you like is closely related to other members of the opposite sex, an indescribable pain comes to mind, which is jealousy. Love must trust each other, and jealousy is eroding and hurting trust, even destroying the relationship between the two sides, and eventually leading to the breakdown of feelings.
Second, the adjustment of college students' psychological problems in love
In view of some psychological problems in college students' love, we should strive to find positive communication methods and appropriate solutions to cultivate a healthy view of love.
1, correctly understand love
Only by correctly understanding love can we face it better. Love is giving, not just taking. Lovers share happiness, happiness and sadness. Love is a kind of responsibility, and all love contains sacred responsibility. This kind of responsibility is not an obligation, not imposed by the outside world, but an inner consciousness, that is, taking risks for the person you love, not just sensory pleasure and lonely companionship. Love is mutual respect, and sincere love is based on equality and understanding between the two sides.
2. Treat love correctly
To treat love correctly, college students should handle the relationships between love and study, love and friendship, and love and moral responsibility. These three problems have been solved, and most common psychological problems in love can be solved.
(1) Love learning. After young students enter the university, their major direction is basically determined, and their future careers are gradually clear. The pressure they face is obvious. Most college students can correctly view the relationship between study and love. They agree that learning is the bounden duty of students, that learning in universities should be the main task, and that love should be subordinate to learning; In other words, I hope that my studies and love will be rewarded, and I am eager for academic success and love happiness. However, we find that many students can't extricate themselves once they fall in love, and their studies are seriously affected. Some college students are immersed in sweet words all day; Some college students don't rest at noon and night, work overtime and fall in love, and they are very tired and listless in class; Some college students simply skip classes and fall in love wholeheartedly, becoming "professional households" in love. Love has gradually become the only pursuit of life. It can be seen that it is difficult for college students to control the relationship between their studies and love, but they must handle it correctly. Correct the relationship between love and study. College students should put their studies first, not spend all their precious time in love, and relax their professional study.
(2) Love and friendship. Interpersonal communication is an inevitable companion of human beings. With the deepening of interpersonal communication, some members of the opposite sex will have friendship, while others will have love. This is a normal result. But some people will mistake love for friendship, while others will mistake friendship for love. As college students, we should understand the difference between love and friendship and handle the relationship between love and friendship well. Otherwise, you may lose friendship and find no love. Love and friendship are two different concepts. Although there are similarities between them, there are also essential differences. Friendship is an intimate, equal and friendly friendship between colleagues, classmates or friends based on mutual understanding and trust. Friendship is an open system, and we hope that the more such friends of the opposite sex, the better. And love is an exclusive feeling of mutual admiration and longing for each other to become their lifelong partners. In love, both parties want to be the only one of each other, and generally exclude the inclusion of a third party or more people. We have the same responsibilities and obligations, and consciously strive for the future of both sides. Only after experiencing the difference between love and friendship can we feel the warmth of friendship and the sweetness of love.
At the same time, we should learn to deal with the friendship between the object of love and the friend of the object, and don't cause unnecessary trouble of misunderstanding and jealousy in each other's friendship.
(3) Love and morality. Love is a special communication activity between men and women, and it is also a social activity of people. Lovers in love can be seen everywhere on the university campus. In public places and public places, when there are no people around, they make all kinds of overly intimate actions. It seems that they think that "I only have eyes for you" and completely ignore others around them. It is understandable that couples are intimate in private, but in public, we should try our best to consider the feelings of people around us and abide by the corresponding social ethics. Don't do anything too immoral. In addition, lovers should understand equality and respect each other in the process of getting along, and don't be completely attached to each other, and don't let each other be completely attached to themselves. Some people think that they should listen to each other because they were chasing each other at the beginning. Some people think that since you are chasing me, I should be superior to you and you should obey me completely. But if you completely lose yourself in love, you will be in an unequal position with each other, and love will be difficult to preserve for a long time.
3. Adjustment of love frustration
For love, everyone hopes to have a happy result after experiencing a sweet love, but not all love will have the expected harvest and will last forever. There will be ups and downs and setbacks in love. In love, college students should learn to deal with and adjust the setbacks and setbacks in love, and cultivate and improve their love ability. Love frustration is mainly manifested in three forms:
(1) Unrequited love. In love, if only one person admires the other. And the other party doesn't know it at all, or the other party completely ignores it, then this feeling can't be called love, only "unrequited love" or unrequited love. Secret love can't be called love, such feelings will only add trouble to yourself. Secret love is sometimes your own impulse. First of all, you should calm down and think about your feelings rationally. At the same time, carefully observe each other's feelings about themselves. If the other person doesn't mean love at all, you should learn to transfer your feelings for the other person, for example, to your studies, to other interpersonal relationships, or to other goals. Switch to another activity that may be successful, so as to get the psychological comfort of success.
(2) More love. Love has specificity and exclusiveness, and it is generally an emotion between two people. In the process of love, both parties need to consciously assume corresponding responsibilities and have corresponding moral constraints. If a person likes two or more opposite sexes at the same time and stays in love, or accepts the pursuit of two or more opposite sexes at the same time, this is "love triangle" or "multi-angle love". Some college students are proud of polygamous love as a demonstration of their abilities and the release of their charm; There are also very few students who regard love as a game to satisfy selfish desires or achieve revenge. Faced with such a situation, as college students, we should maintain a high degree of calm and reason. Arrogance and inferiority, doubt and jealousy, irony and cunning are not correct attitudes. Carefully examine the relationship between yourself and your partner. When your lover has an affair with someone else, although it is very painful, you should learn to be honest with each other and make a choice. In addition, if necessary, we should know how to "retreat for progress". If you find yourself in someone else's love, or find that the relationship with the person you love is impossible to develop, you should have the courage to quit actively. This seems to be negative, but it is actually a positive strategy to solve the multi-love relationship.
(3) lovelorn. If you are in love, you may be lovelorn. When lovers break up due to social reality, other people's intervention, emotional disharmony and other factors, the frustration of lovelorn will seriously affect college students' psychology, life and normal study activities. For most people, it is painful to suddenly lose the closest person without passion. People who are lovelorn often escape from reality and narrow the circle of interpersonal communication. In their spiritual life, they not only torture themselves, but also affect the emotions of others, and some even take behavioral or psychological revenge on their lovers. The trauma of lovelorn sometimes brings serious consequences, such as suicide and hurting others. In fact, love is not the only thing in life. You can't spend all your energy or even give up your life for it. The lovelorn can talk to others about their inner troubles, their repressed emotions, and relieve the hurt of lovelorn. In addition, psychological protection mechanism can be properly applied to transfer psychology, thus alleviating pain. For example, put enthusiasm into study, and gradually reduce the influence of lovelorn on yourself in intense study.
In a word, cultivating college students to establish a correct view of love will be the foundation to solve the problem of college students' love. We should attach great importance to the significance of this work. The quality of education guided by college students' love concept is an important aspect related to the healthy growth and success of college students, and also an important contribution to the progress of social civilization. Therefore, we should actively cultivate college students to establish a correct view of love and have a healthy love psychology.
Common psychological problems in college students' love Chapter II (1) Monogamy
Some college students will have love when they meet the opposite sex they like, but they don't understand each other's emotional attitude, so they will feel confused, ashamed to confess and fall into the torture of unrequited love. Some college students directly confess to the object of their worship, but they are rejected by the other party. Frustration psychology is difficult to adjust in a short time, psychological needs are not met, and emotions are not released, which makes it fall into contradiction and pain.
Single college students in love are usually depressed, depressed, in a trance, and even ignorant of their own lives. They are extremely unstable, sometimes reticent, sometimes fidgeting, crying and blaming themselves. If this kind of emotion cannot be effectively suppressed, people will become withdrawn, stubborn, inferior or negative over time, which may lead to depression.
(2) the illusion of love
The illusion of love is a feeling of unrequited love and false love. Some college students will be too sensitive and fantasize too much when they are eager for the love of their admirers. They often put each other's attitude on the understanding of their own subjective needs, and will mistake each other's kindness and enthusiasm for the expression of love. An expression, a smile, or a word from the other person will be regarded as a hint or response of single lovers to love. Under the influence of this illusion of love, narcissists will feel complacent, so the deeper they get, the more difficult it is to extricate themselves. Once he discovers his disillusionment, he will be hit hard. Therefore, college students should master their knowledge rationally and objectively, and avoid self-deception in love fantasy.
(3) Polygamy
The so-called polyandry refers to a person establishing a love relationship with two or more opposite sex at the same time. In the university campus, the phenomenon of polyandry can not be ignored. There are several situations of college students' polygamous love.
Because some college students' psychological development is not yet fully mature, they lack life experience and the criteria for choosing a spouse are not clear, so it is impossible to determine which heterosexual relationship is more suitable for them. Therefore, they will be widely cultivated in order to choose the best object, thus producing multi-angle love.
Some college students have bad motives in choosing a spouse, impetuous mentality, pursuit of form, holding the concept of dance academy, lacking single-minded emotional attitude and eager to have all the beautiful things, so they enter different love roles and seek excitement and satisfaction.
Some college students have strong vanity. They will be proud of many suitors. They show their charm and satisfy their strong vanity by establishing multi-angle love relationships.
There are also some college students who are too self-centered, stubborn and willful, jealous and possessive of what they like. Therefore, they will play the role of a third party in other people's love relationships, resulting in complex multi-angle love.
Polygamy is a very unhealthy concept of love. It is a sign of disrespect and irresponsibility to others and a violation of social morality. Polygamy also lurks great danger. Improper handling can easily intensify contradictions and cause serious adverse consequences.
(4) Online dating
With the popularization of electronic information technology, the network has penetrated into every corner of social life and become a common way of communication for college students. When some college students feel the pressure of study and life is too great, or lonely and empty, they will vent their emotions through the Internet, seek emotional sustenance, and meet like-minded people, which will develop into online dating.
Due to the characteristics of virtual network, online dating is mainly the exchange of thoughts, emotions, consciousness and ideas, lacking the foundation of real life. The two sides of love cannot fully understand each other. Love can only be achieved through self-statement and expression. So it is subjective, one-sided and false. Once the two sides contact, the gap in reality will lead to the failure of love. We don't deny the successful cases of online dating, but college students should keep a calm and cautious attitude when dealing with online dating, so as not to be hurt or cheated, leading to irreparable consequences.
(5) lovelorn
The so-called lovelorn refers to the phenomenon that one party in love unilaterally denies or terminates the relationship, thus causing serious psychological setbacks to the other party. Lovelorn is a painful emotional experience, which will leave trauma to the lovelorn.
Losing love will cause a series of bad psychological reactions, such as depression, loss, sadness, loneliness, depression, indifference, despair and even revenge. College students who are lovelorn are often sad, depressed, depressed and silent. It is difficult for them to calm down in a short time. They tend to feel inferior, lose confidence in love and lose interest in life. Students with poor psychological endurance may even go to extremes because of serious psychological imbalance.
To sum up, a series of psychological problems will appear in the process of college students' love. These problems will bring many negative effects to the growing college students and hinder their healthy development in love, marriage and life. Therefore, college students should solve the psychological problems in love, establish a correct view of love and pave the way for a happy life in the future.
How to cultivate healthy love psychology? Establish a healthy concept of love.
People all hope to establish a harmonious and intimate relationship in the process of love, and hope to love each other and create perfect love together, which requires people to establish a healthy concept of love, as follows.
(1) mutual respect and openness
Healthy love should be based on equality and mutual respect. In the process of love, we should respect each other's personal feelings and dignity, fulfill moral obligations equally, and not impose our will on each other; Respect each other's preferences and choices in living habits, friends, work and study; Respect each other's thoughts and behaviors while waiting.
On the basis of mutual respect, both parties in love should be honest with each other. We should be honest with our family, economy and personal history. Any form of concealment will affect the in-depth development of love relationship. In a more stable love, we should avoid cheating, concealment and betrayal. Only sincere and frank communication can build mutual trust, enhance the transparency of the soul and make the love relationship develop healthily.
(2) Abide by each other's promises and responsibilities
For healthy love, keeping promises is an important symbol of stable and mature love. Abiding by each other's promises means that both parties are willing to work hard to realize their promises, meet each other's needs and make each other happy, happy and satisfied. This is also the basis for both parties to keep their promises, have noble personality and express their quality.
All love contains sacred responsibility, which is not an obligation imposed by the outside world, but a manifestation of self-awareness and the great power of love from the heart. Insisting on responsibility in love is to grow old with the person you love, take risks together, face difficulties together, work together and give each other happiness together. Mutual commitment and responsibility are the guarantee for the stable development of love.
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