1
My friend, Sister Yan, is always straightforward and can talk and laugh with anyone in the company. Colleagues often boast that Sister Yan is not only beautiful, but also attractive in speech. The most enviable thing is that she also has a gentle-looking boyfriend who is polite to people. It is said that they never quarrel.
In contrast, my girlfriend and I often quarrel about the future. I am particularly distressed to say to Yan Jie: "I really envy you for never quarreling. It seems that the two of us are as harmonious and natural as living in wedding photos forever. "
I don't know that Yan Jie frowned, but she said to me more helplessly, "I envy you guys who quarrel occasionally, like me and him, and now you can't even argue if you want to."
Sister Yan has been in love for three years. At first, her boyfriend chased her and she was obedient to her. At first, Yan Jie also enjoyed being held in her hand. She thinks her boyfriend is mature and considerate, and he is a watercolor teacher, especially talented.
But love looks at people for a long time, and the love in the palm of your hand will always melt away.
After six months of love, her boyfriend is no longer so considerate, but seems to be careless about many things in Yan Jie. He stopped asking her if she was asleep, reminded her what to prepare the next day, and made her happy again and again.
When Yan Jie discovered these changes, she tried to find out the truth about them. How much she wanted to tell him that she was worried about losing him, but in the face of his casual silence, those grievances and helplessness turned into duplicity again and again driven by self-esteem.
"Are you dissatisfied with me? Tell me! ? "
"What do you want, answer?"
"Is there anyone outside you?"
……
She was as anxious and angry as a doll who was robbed of her pacifier, crying and making noise, while he kept sitting quietly as if nothing had happened, sitting under the stage like an audience with a cigarette in his mouth.
How much she wanted her boyfriend to change his mind, so she tried every means, even if it was tit for tat, at least it was a response.
Finally, when all the love and expectation are accompanied by the head of the longing lover, what she hears is:
"I can't help it if you think so."
2
The most hurtful attack between lovers in the world is often not a thunderous quarrel, but a heart-wrenching cold war. The phrase "whatever you want" or "I can't help it if you think so" throws all our expectations and all our love into a dark whirlpool, leaving us at a loss and in the most helpless state.
Yan Jie said that during that time, looking at her boyfriend's speechless expression, she was almost driven crazy. All the grievances and anger, even if she says more, seem to be telling herself. No matter what she says to her boyfriend, his silence seems to have its own rebound effect. Yan Jie felt like a trash can and automatically received all the emotions about her.
Until the last breakup, Yan Jie asked her boyfriend, "Do you really care about her completely?"
Her ex-boyfriend is still the same. "They broke up, whatever. If you can still be happy if you think of me badly, then I will be happy. "
Silence is sometimes the most ruthless contempt.
I once asked a friend who had experienced long-distance love, which moment of long-distance love let you down.
My friend said it was when the person I was waiting for said "whatever" on the other end of the phone.
What scares people in different places is not distance, but indifference. There is no way to share each other's lives at close range, and when there are contradictions, it is often that she tries her best to find a topic, trying to figure out the tone that will not make the other side feel pressured, but the result is that the other side is like the lake in late autumn on the other side of the screen, without a ripple.
Maybe I'll never see anyone again, and then my friend talked to him a lot. I expected a little response, but it took him a long time to say, "Oh, I was busy just now." Whenever a friend asks a small question at this time, the other person will take a reproachful tone: "Whatever, I can't help it if you think so."
These words are like pulling people into a deep trough. You don't really need to experience them, but because of these indifferent reactions, we already know that there has been a little change, and we may even know what will happen next, but we can only wait for silence again and again to dry up our will.
If it is not an important person, how can it affect the other person's mood? He is the person we miss very much. Just three words, but you can't say it like you did at the beginning.
The friend who has experienced a long-distance relationship told me that her most sad thing is that she can't even say it clearly in person. What was originally solved with a hug turned out to be a stranger without any explanation.
It is because there are too many "I can't help it if you think so." There will be so many people who can't say goodbye until the end.
three
When I was a child, my parents often quarreled. Father sometimes blames mother for her carelessness, and mother never shows weakness.
At that time, when my mother got angry, she would ask me if I was divorced in front of my father. At that time, I heard my mother say that she was going to divorce. I really thought they were going to divorce. I cried and asked my sister what to do. I couldn't sleep all night.
Unconsciously, more than ten years have passed, and they occasionally quarrel about divorce.
When I was a teenager, I was rebellious and always quarreled with my father. Every time after the event, my mother will say a lot of good things about my father. I was surprised at the time. You always quarrel, and you defend him.
Mother smiled and said, although your father is outspoken, his nature is not bad. He still cares about you.
A few years ago, my father was ill and rested at home. My mother is very worried. Although she doesn't know how to cook, she still cooks by herself every day. My father said that my mother's cooking was terrible, and he quickly drank all the soup. When my mother left the room, he said to me, "Your mother's cooking is very weak. She has been used to it for years. Don't be too picky. "
I secretly laughed: "It's just plain."
Mom said that our generation is just too afraid of trouble and lack of communication. If you don't agree, just break up Even if they think it's beautiful, they never give each other a chance to communicate.
As the lover of the other person, if you even say to yourself, "I can't help it if you think so," then there is no love.
four
The best state between lovers is actually not the vows of eternal love when they are in love, nor is it a long stream of water in the future, but at this moment, you listen to me carefully and patiently tell me the secrets about life, the secrets around you, and the secrets between you and me.
We all say that it is important for lovers to be honest with each other, but many people think that "being honest with each other" means having a clear conscience, so as long as they are not open-minded, they will directly ignore their doubts and concerns. As we all know, being honest with each other is the most important thing.
Because the other person is the one you love, no matter what she says or worries about, we should count our ribs, feel our heartbeat and respond to her patiently over and over again. Think about the time when you pursued her, and you asked her again and again. If there is no response from the other party, how can you have such an arrogant opportunity now?
The value of love is to give her affirmation when she is anxious and helpless and tell her how important she is; Tell her, "You are a part of my life"; Tell her, "I will stay with you no matter what." As long as there is a mentality of communicating with each other, even if the quarrel ends, there is always the possibility of hugging. After all, even a lively response is better than a stagnant pool.
Don't worry about all emotions, anything that makes your lover sad is the most important thing; If you say "I can't help it if you think so", what can you do to save your love if you can't? !
Mom said that our generation is just too afraid of trouble and lack of communication. If you don't agree, just break up Even if they think it's beautiful, they never give each other a chance to communicate.
As the lover of the other person, if you even say to yourself, "I can't help it if you think so," then there is no love.
four
The best state between lovers is actually not the vows of eternal love when they are in love, nor is it a long stream of water in the future, but at this moment, you listen to me carefully and patiently tell me the secrets about life, the secrets around you, and the secrets between you and me.
We all say that it is important for lovers to be honest with each other, but many people think that "being honest with each other" means having a clear conscience, so as long as they are not open-minded, they will directly ignore their doubts and concerns. As we all know, being honest with each other is the most important thing.
Because the other person is the one you love, no matter what she says or worries about, we should count our ribs, feel our heartbeat and respond to her patiently over and over again. Think about the time when you pursued her, and you asked her again and again. If there is no response from the other party, how can you have such an arrogant opportunity now?
The value of love is to give her affirmation when she is anxious and helpless and tell her how important she is; Tell her, "You are a part of my life"; Tell her, "I will stay with you no matter what." As long as there is a mentality of communicating with each other, even if the quarrel ends, there is always the possibility of hugging. After all, even a lively response is better than a stagnant pool.
Don't worry about all emotions, anything that makes your lover sad is the most important thing; If you say "I can't help it if you think so", what can you do to save your love if you can't? !