First, effective communication.
1, say it quickly. Don't expect your partner to read your thoughts or "figure it out". If you need or want to express something, you need to communicate it yourself. It's unfair to you or your partner if you don't communicate your needs. Besides, don't be bothered by things that bother you. If something bothers you, please say something to your partner.
If you don't know how to start a conversation, please say, "What am I thinking? I like it if you are willing to listen. " You can also say, "something bothers me. I think we should talk about it."
2. Pay attention. Part of a healthy relationship is knowing when to say and when to listen. Develop your listening skills by not disturbing and letting your partner finish their thoughts and feelings. When your partner is talking, listen carefully and don't try to respond.
Use active listening skills by reflecting what your partner says and feels. Say, "Let me make sure I understand. I heard you say that you were unhappy and I didn't tell you when I would go home. You want me to say something earlier because you are worried. "
3. Create healthy boundaries. Boundaries don't mean you feel trapped; They were created to maintain respect and understanding of expectations in relationships. If something makes you uncomfortable, please bring it up and discuss how to change things and how everyone will make changes. If one person wants to spend a lot of time together, but another person doesn't, it is very important to define how much time to be together and apart.
For example, you may want to create gender boundaries (gender exclusion) and social boundaries (one night per week for friends or activities).
Don't let your partner control you, and don't start to control your partner. Setting boundaries is to respect each other and find a compromise to make the relationship go smoothly.
4. Clear communication. Without clear communication, a relationship will soon show the worst things in people. Please clearly express it to your partner when necessary. Don't underestimate or say anything that makes you unhappy, so that your partner will be satisfied. Try to use my statement to express your feelings, observe or share your opinions. My statement enables you to express yourself clearly and directly, be responsible for your own thoughts and feelings, and avoid blaming others.
In order to communicate properly, please say, "I think/feel/want …". When ... because ... "For example," As soon as you open the door, I feel depressed because the room is cold and airy. "
5. Express your feelings. Share your thoughts and feelings with your partner and keep an open mind. Show interest in your partner's feelings and support them under great pressure. Emotional connection with your partner makes you sympathize with their experiences.
If you lose touch with your partner emotionally, please start asking questions about your relationship (don't blame or assume). By discovering your partner's feelings, you may begin to feel more sympathy for them.
6. Check each other. Take time out regularly to discuss this relationship. Sometimes things change, or the schedule becomes busy, and you may miss the time to contact or talk about things. You may need to put forward relationship goals and expectations, because sometimes goals and expectations may change. Ignoring difficult topics or hoping that they will disappear is a way to break up.
An example of greeting may be: "Hey, how did you feel after we disagreed yesterday? I just want to make sure that there are no residual feelings or things we haven't solved. "
In terms of relationship expectations, ask your partner if he agrees. You can discuss cohabitation, sexual satisfaction, marriage, children or moving plans. State clearly what you want and how your partner adapts.
Second, be kind to each other.
1, creating the basis of respect. Early interpersonal relationships can be interesting and exciting, but it is important to make sure that you and your partner are deeply rooted. Act in a way that requires your partner's respect. Even if you are angry with each other, always respect each other.
Your partner's wishes, thoughts and feelings are very valuable. Communicate with your partner and consider their feelings. Mutual respect is an important part of building a good relationship.
Talk to your partner and build respect in your relationship. Determine "should do" and "should not do", such as swearing or sexual contact.
You may want to enforce the "fair competition" rule. They are as follows:
No derogatory language
Don't blame
Don't shout
No use of force
There is no topic of divorce/breakup
Don't try to tell your partner what they are thinking/experiencing/feeling.
Live in the present
speak in turn
If necessary, use timeout.
Make them happy.
2. Appreciate each other. Healthy interpersonal relationships should be appreciated by you and your partner. Usually, relationships are based on many small things, and one is added between them. Know what your partner has done for you and say "thank you". Instead of focusing on your partner's mistakes, it is better to focus on the way your partner increases his life. When you notice something, please say it and express your gratitude.
Ask your partner how they want to be appreciated. Write a note or card, or try to say "thank you".
Let your partner know that you like being appreciated. He said, "It means a lot to me when you notice what I have done for you."
3. Have fun together. It is easy to transition from face-to-face time to digital communication. However, sometimes meaning may be lost in translation, or nonverbal communication may become nonexistent. Spending quality time together can help you strengthen your interpersonal relationship and increase the bond between you and your partner.
Find some activities that you can often do together. It's as simple as drinking coffee together every morning or reading books together at night.
Trying new things together may be an interesting and interesting way to kill time. You don't have to do anything crazy-even going to a new restaurant or trying new dishes can be fun.
4. Give each other space. No one can perform all the duties for another person. Let your partner spend time with friends and family and engage in hobbies. It is very important for everyone to have their own friends and activities. Although you may want to be together all the time at the beginning of the relationship, you should respect each other's time and know that the time spent does not mean a negative impact on the relationship. Support your partner to keep friendship.
Avoid giving up friends or putting pressure on your partner to give up friends. It is very important to have friends and their emotional support. Similarly, don't let your partner decide whether you can see your family or not.
5. Expect change. Knowing that your relationship might change. Let yourself, your partner and the relationship itself develop. Recognize that changes in interpersonal relationships are opportunities for new growth. Change is inevitable, so welcome change and accept that this relationship will adapt.
When there are changes, please take a deep breath and correspond one by one.
Third, improve unhealthy relationships.
1, see a psychiatrist. If you are in an unhealthy situation and want to improve, please ask your partner to see a therapist together. Therapists can help you break unhealthy patterns that may get you into trouble, such as yelling, blaming, isolating, making assumptions and not being able to communicate effectively. It can also help to avoid emotions, change behavior and change your view of interpersonal relationships. Seeing a psychiatrist doesn't mean that your relationship is doomed to failure, but it means that you are willing to work together to improve it.
2. Let go of interdependence. Disordered behavior in interdependence may seem like one person supporting or making another irresponsible, immature, addictive or unhealthy. If you are a salesman, even if you don't know it will hurt your partner, you may feel guilty even if you don't help. Interdependence usually comes from childhood and may involve repressed emotions (not speaking when necessary, keeping silent to avoid fighting) and being unable to say "no".
You and your partner may be isolated from others and have no friends outside your relationship.
Educate yourself about dependence and take the time to determine your (or your partner's) self-deception behavior. You may need to work with an individual or a couple of therapists.
3. Respect your partner's privacy. Being in love doesn't mean that you have to spend every moment or enjoy everything. Respect your partner's need for privacy and space. If you are jealous, please remind yourself that jealousy is something that you think has nothing to do with your partner's behavior.
Don't ask your partner's password in social media accounts or emails. Respect your partner's privacy and be willing to trust your partner.
It is unhealthy for you or your partner to constantly monitor each other's behavior. This may be out of jealousy or control, which is not a healthy component of building a relationship with people.
4. Pay attention to warning signs of abuse. Relationships should be based on respect and equality, not power and control. You may not think too much about behavior at first, but disrespectful behavior will set the tone for the relationship. If your partner is possessive, insulting, shouting, insulting or disrespectful, please pay attention. There is no excuse for abuse. Abuse is a personal choice, and you don't have to be a victim.