Just 34 words, simple and simple, with a song "Sister" that I have never heard before, only I know how difficult it is!
My brother is a person who is not good at expressing his feelings, and his cognition of the world is almost "0".
What he has done sometimes even makes me wonder, is he just ignorant of human feelings, or is he born heartless and indifferent to affection, friendship, teacher-student relationship, love and other feelings? He has a unique mentality of "I'd rather have no worries" about social relations!
I remember that more than ten years ago, when he was a sophomore, he needed to transfer from Lanzhou to his hometown of Sichuan to study and take the college entrance examination. Parents do fruit business in Lanzhou all the year round, and there is no personal resources at home for him to transfer at will.
I'm going to ask my high school class teacher for help. For teachers who have been away for many years, I naturally need to bring some fruits to visit, let alone invite teachers.
My brother is very unhappy and even angry: Why do you want to contact me to study and give gifts? Just look at the results! It's like asking people to read!
I told him it was basic etiquette, but he still said it was totally unacceptable!
My parents are far away in Lanzhou during the winter vacation of Grade Two. I took my younger brother and followed my boyfriend (now my husband) back to my hometown for the New Year. My brother won't talk and chat with any relatives of his boyfriend's family, and he is addicted to online games every day.
I try not to mention such an unreliable brother, but I have to go to the internet cafe for three meals a day, and I am a little embarrassed and have to accept the fact that he is too young to understand.
However, when I saw his final report card, I was instantly ignited. My grades in all subjects are not ideal, and my math score is 27! I want to die, with such poor grades? Still have the heart to play games every day? How to get into college? I asked him and began to tell him how important it is to study at this stage!
Not only did he have no remorse at all, but he also rightfully replied angrily to me. I don't remember what he said. I can't stand it. I couldn't help slapping him hard! This is the first time I hit someone in my life! Up to today, this is also the only time I hit someone in the face!
Then he ran out the door. He must be crying! I ran out crying, looking for it and wondering where he would go.
When I called my mother, the first sentence was sobbing: "I slapped my brother, and he may never recognize my sister, and I will never recognize this brother!" " "
The second half of the sentence is a lie, and it is a subconscious emergency response to the sadness of losing this brother!
I guess my brother may have called his parents for money and bought a plane ticket to Lanzhou. It may be because he is too young to "run away from home", or maybe his boyfriend found him in an Internet cafe and said something reasonable and warm to him. In the end, none of my brothers left, but they still went back to school after the winter vacation with us!
Many years later, I recall that slap, lingering fear! But so far I haven't found any reason to regret it!
Because I don't know if that slap hurt him, but I woke him up! More than a year later, he was admitted to the university with a score of 27 points! Although it is not a key university, but the results were so poor, it is a great progress to be admitted to two universities!
My brother didn't thank anyone when he was admitted to college. Instead, he bears a grudge against our class teacher, who taught him to say, "Work hard and try to get into a university." !
In fact, in my opinion, although the class teacher underestimated him, he was not malicious or so angry. He should be more grateful to the teacher who helped him enter school! But he doesn't like this teacher!
In fact, the only teacher he ever thanked was a primary school teacher when he was a child! The only "iron buddies" are childhood playmates, because in order to raise the capital for playing games, two fart children went to the old construction site to pick up scrap iron and sell it, and they were almost caught, and they never gave in to each other. The established "life friendship" is warm to this day!
This makes me firmly believe that my brother was born with affection, and later he didn't know the world, which is inseparable from the lack of "interpersonal education" in family, school and society, especially family education has a great influence on his brother! Parents' cognition of interpersonal relationship is biased, and they always say that "rich people like it, but no one can afford it"! "You have to get ahead before you can get respect, and nothing else matters …" and so on. My brother may have lost interest in such interpersonal relationships after hearing about it! Therefore, there must be no more emotional reactions.
During my brother's four years in college, I took the initiative to bear his tuition and living expenses. Although I am not well-off, as long as my brother studies hard, I think it is nothing to pay, which can reduce the burden on my parents. They are very happy, and my heart feels happier and fuller.
My brother comes to my house every winter and summer vacation. It was the summer vacation when I gave birth to my eldest daughter. My brother and family have been with me from the onset of labor pains at home to going to the hospital late at night!
Although he doesn't know what he can do or what he didn't do, I know he loves my sister dearly.
My brother is a new uncle. He has always liked his little niece. Every time he comes back from vacation, he finally has something to do, that is, to play with his niece! My daughter is also the closest to my uncle. No matter how long she comes back, she always jumps on my uncle's shoulder and rides a horse. She was so happy ... Blood is thicker than water!
Later, after my mother bought a house in Chengdu, he never came to my house again. I realized that he actually didn't like living in my house all the time, just because he was wronged by sleeping on the sofa!
Yes, there is a lack of material conditions and rooms at home, so I can only sleep on the sofa, but the sofa is spacious and the whole family has always been indifferent to him. How can they hate her sister's house so much?
During my internship at the university, my brother studied engineering management and worked as an intern at the construction site with my husband. It's hard, Bai Jun's face is tanned by the sun, and he's not tired!
He told my husband a lot, but he wouldn't listen to anything I said. After saying something to educate him, he said, "Don't tell me about it."
In fact, what I want to communicate with him is how to learn to be a man and do things, not to mention! But he doesn't want to hear a word!
During graduation season, I encouraged him to go to school to run job fairs, submit more resumes and try to find a job, but he was indifferent.
In a blink of an eye, four years have passed since college, and our family welcomes him back after his studies. In the evening, he calmly said to me timidly, "Sister, lend me some money. I didn't pay the tuition fee for my senior year, so I can't get a degree certificate! "
I was very angry at the news. What about tuition? What about the tuition I gave? Isn't that my hard-earned hard-earned money, scrimping and saving? Why don't you hand it in?
But I didn't rest that much, because I saw the trembling on his face, and our relationship was not stable enough to yell at him at will. I had to fight back my anger and ask: Is it only the first year of high school now? What's the money for? Can't get a degree certificate, just because the tuition fee for the senior year has not been paid or for other reasons? Are you sure you can get it after you hand it in?
He said that if you don't hand in your senior year, you can get a degree certificate. You don't know how to use up the tuition for senior three. You buy some clothes, eat and sing with your classmates ... and then you run out. ...
I'm disappointed, but I can only wipe his ass. In order to find out the reason why he couldn't get the degree certificate and prevent any more moths, his brother-in-law and I went to his university to pay the tuition, and we were relieved to learn that we could get the degree certificate as long as we paid the tuition!
I gave him a month's living expenses 1000 yuan, and told him that this was the last time I gave you living expenses. When you grow up, you have to rely on yourself in the future! My parents broke up with me when I was an intern before I graduated from college.
He failed to find a job by himself, and went to work in a construction unit in Tianfu New District through my husband's introduction. My husband and I sent him to the construction site, and we were very pleased to see him full of fighting spirit and confidence and satisfied with his brother-in-law's help. When he first arrived in the enterprise, his leaders and colleagues spoke highly of him. There are not many post-90 s who can bear hardships like him! Come in the wind and go in the rain! Everything is full of hope and his life will begin with him!
At first, he had close communication with his brother-in-law, and he always asked technical questions he didn't understand. Slowly, his communication with his brother-in-law is getting less and less, and there is not much communication with me. If you talk to him again, you'll hang up and never come to my house again!
Less than a year later, my husband received a phone call from the unit leader and asked my brother why he didn't go to work for more than a week. We couldn't get in touch by phone, so we rushed to our parents' home (parents are in Lanzhou, not Chengdu) and found him sleeping at home, awake and red-eyed. He must have stayed up all night playing games. He was impatient and asked us to leave. He slept well and didn't want to talk to us at all. He just said he didn't want to work at that construction site!
Although we think that he gave up a good job opportunity, such irresponsible evasion should be severely criticized, but seeing his decadent appearance, he was just disgusted with what I wanted to say, so he said to him: resign if you resign, but you should complete the normal resignation procedure. What is never say goodbye? Sure you don't want to do it, quit and look for a job!
Up to now, I don't know why he went from "liking that job" to "not working there after death". It is estimated that his personality is just trying not to look up at the road, which leads to his inability to get along with his colleagues outside of work. He is considered to be introduced by an acquaintance who is not used to gossip and unhappy at work!
Later, after playing games for three months, I got a job in construction management in China No.19 Metallurgical Company and went to Guizhou to build roads.
I was very happy when I first went there. The leader said to him, "Work hard, young man, I am optimistic about you!" " Make him very excited!
As a result ... it was like retreating from my first job. I used to make noise. The person who never goes to work in the place you found for me called me again: "Sister, is there a suitable job introduction?" I'm so tired here. Among all the builders, I am responsible for the most tiring thing, and I am scolded by the leaders every day. Those builders who do nothing but talk are less scolded! "
I said to him: "It is normal for leaders of state-owned enterprises to swear. Which job is smooth sailing? As long as you do your job better than others and make continuous progress, there will be fewer and fewer opportunities for leaders to scold you. "
He said: "I can't stand it, I just want to find a leader who doesn't swear!" " "
This is the first phone call he made to me. Naturally, I got excited for a while and then hung up the phone. I felt sorry and worried that he would encounter a "workplace bottleneck" again. At the same time, I try my best to inquire about job opportunities everywhere.
He beautified his resume with only 45 points to the realistic level of 85 points, and finally passed the interview notice of the company where his husband and brother-in-law worked.
My brother successfully passed the interview with the advantage of always getting high marks at first impression, and went to a hydropower project in Guangxi to do construction management, and has been working until now. ...
Up to now, there is no bottleneck in his job, but his relationship with us is getting more and more distant. In the past, he admired his brother-in-law very much and would ask him modestly if he had any questions. There will be no news for a year or so now. I call him once in a while, but he just hangs up by accident!
He has never been to my house again, and he won't meet any relatives and friends every Spring Festival. He just stays at home and plays games.
The year before last, his parents asked the whole family to go back to their hometown to attend the wedding banquet of their cousin who grew up together. He said he would take him back to his hometown again, and he wouldn't even go home to Chengdu.
To my great sadness, he didn't come to see me before he went to work in Guangxi last year. He happened to be home on holiday when I gave birth to my second daughter. Although it is a second child, I still have many associations about whether there will be any accidents.
I sent him a message when I entered the hospital, but he didn't come to see me;
I gave birth to a child and sent him a message, but he didn't come to see me;
Mom came back from Lanzhou and asked him to come and see me together. He asked her to come alone, but she still didn't come to see me.
How far can it be to the west of the same city? It's just that the distance between heart and heart is immeasurable!
The eldest daughter used to miss her uncle very much, and will always remember the uncle who is still in college and comes back with gifts every year. Because I haven't seen my uncle for a year or two, and I don't hear my uncle's phone calls as often as before, my eldest daughter's concept of my uncle is becoming more and more vague. The second daughter hasn't seen her uncle for a long time!
In the past two years, housing prices in Chengdu have soared, and my 27-year-old brother will get married sooner or later and have a stable home. I called him many times to discuss buying a house with my parents.
I have tried various methods to suggest my brother to buy a house:
The first suggestion: because of the price limit of first-hand houses in Chengdu, the pricing of his brother-in-law company's new real estate is very cost-effective, which is much cheaper than the surrounding second-hand houses. If you buy it, you earn it. Do you want to find a way to buy one
He resolutely refused to buy the property of his brother-in-law's company. He felt very hostile to his brother-in-law, and told his parents several times that "brother-in-law has never been as kind to me as Feng Ge (my husband's brother-in-law, now working as an introducer)".
What puzzles me is that although my husband is also a person who is not good at expressing himself, my brother has always been very good and has been worried about his study and work. Why are you not even as good as Brother Feng? Why is there no goodwill but hostility?
The second suggestion: "mom bought a small house and changed it to a big one. You can live in it when you get married and have children!" " "
He said, "I don't buy a house. You can stay at my mother's house when you have no money When I have money, I will buy another house and live separately from my mother. "
The third suggestion: "It is also right to live separately. Parents should always have their own house. My parents' house is not for sale. We'll try to make a separate down payment in your name, and you'll be responsible for it every month! "My brother said," I don't buy a house, and the pressure is too great every month. Ma Yun said that house prices will definitely drop, and it will be worthless in the future! "
The fourth suggestion: "If you feel the pressure of monthly payment, my parents and I will help you then, and we will make monthly payment together!" " ! * * * Qi Xin will solve the problem together! "
The younger brother said, "I won't buy it if I don't buy it!" Stop telling me about buying a house! Buying a house is not necessarily bought in Chengdu, but may be bought in Guangxi and Lanzhou, and I don't like Chengdu! "
My parents returned to Chengdu from Lanzhou when they were old, and there were no relatives or friends in Guangxi. The hydropower station project in the deep mountains of Guangxi is about to be completed and will be moved to the next project site. Buy it in Guangxi? His plan to buy a house is entirely to escape the rhythm of his loved ones.
I've told him countless times, don't run away, if you contact your relatives because you think you want to get ahead, it's totally unnecessary. For family members, companionship is much more important than money! Besides, compared with your peers, you are not bad! Why not face the person you love? Money can be earned slowly, and it is wrong to miss the company time!
He said it wasn't the money. He didn't run away. He just thought, "See relatives, no! All right! Play! "
So I still don't understand the reason for his "six emotions disowning".
Before the Spring Festival last year, I called him and asked him when he would go home during the Spring Festival. He said he wouldn't go home and lived at the construction site.
I can't sleep in the middle of the night, and my husband chats with me. I said, "having this brother is just like not having this brother!" " ! The heart is desolate!
A few days later, my brother said that he would come back next year and go to Chengdu first and then Lanzhou. I was a little surprised to believe it. I called my mother, and she said, "It doesn't count until you come!" " "
I guess my husband told my brother about my depressed mood. After all, my "hard-hearted" brother was warmed by me.
Whatever the reason, on New Year's Eve, my brother is not alone on the construction site, but after many years, we get together again for New Year's Eve! The eldest daughter finally met her long-lost uncle, and the second daughter finally met her uncle for the first time! My brother holds his big niece in his left hand and his little niece in his right. The three of them laughed together!
I told him that the happiest thing on New Year's Eve was to get together with my younger brother group!
He said simply, "As long as you think too much, no one else will think it wrong not to celebrate the New Year together!" " "
I said, "I am no one else, you are my only brother and I am your only sister!" " During the Spring Festival, families should get together!
During the Chinese New Year, I reminded him to pay a New Year call to Brother Feng, who is better than his brother-in-law, or make a phone call to thank Brother Feng for his care. He said: it is not necessary. In the past, my teacher taught me: "study hard and you will repay me." I don't need a gift! " So now I am working very hard to repay Brother Feng. You are welcome!
I once again doubt that school education without the most basic "gratitude" and "social etiquette" is not a successful education!
There's a village where there's no road!
Has time made my brother grow up? Two months ago, my brother called and asked, "What are the conditions for going back to Chengdu to buy a house now?" I said to him: "The first step is to enter Tianfu New District through the undergraduate course, and then I am eligible to buy a house in various districts of Chengdu. With the advantage you just need, the winning rate of lottery tickets is higher than usual! "
Then the younger brother asked, "the down payment needs hundreds of thousands, and my parents only have hundreds of thousands." Do you? " I said, "I don't have it now, but I believe things will work out eventually." You get the qualification of lottery first, and we'll chip in together. I believe we can get together! " Trust sister! "I'm telling the truth! I don't have enough money to support him to buy a house at once, but I want to do my best to achieve it!
He began to prepare the relocation materials and said that he would go through the relocation procedures on his next vacation.
On May 18 and 15, Chengdu Real Estate released the New Deal again. "Those who have moved to Chengdu through talents for less than two years must have social security of 1 year or more."
Alas, my brother finally figured it out. He wants to buy a house and lacks the necessary conditions for social security, so he can't buy a house for the time being! But it doesn't matter, at least I saw a spark, that is, my brother changed his mind and didn't want to stay away from his relatives. It's only a matter of time before he wants to go back to Chengdu and live with his relatives!
On May 20th, 20 18, I suddenly received a message from my brother: "Thank you, Sister. I was young and ignorant. In fact, I always knew what you had done for me. I really have a happy sister. " There is also a song "Sister" by Jia Shengqiang.
Maybe my brother's words were not sensational at all, but they made me feel surge of emotion, because I found the change of my brother, just like finally seeing the feeling of the prodigal son returning, and I replied a long sentence without thinking:
"I haven't listened to music yet, and when I saw the words, my tears came down. I know it is a happy tear, not because I really paid anything, nor just because my brother knows how to be grateful, but because I know that I have finally arrived and my brother has finally grown up! It turns out that you should be so sensible in my heart, not heartless and naive, and everything will get better and better! I'm so happy to finally wait for you, but I didn't give up. In fact, no matter how long I wait, I won't give up! Every sapling will grow up, but it will be different in the morning and evening. You didn't blossom because you want to grow into a towering tree! "
Brother's reply: "I want to cry when I hear this song." I only have a few relatives in my life. When I grow into a tree, it's my turn to take care of you. "
His words are still simple, but I just suddenly feel so safe. It's good to have a younger brother who is nearly ten years younger than me to take care of me when I am old!
I can't wait to give my parents screenshots of our conversation, and my parents are also very pleased. In fact, whether it is grass on the roadside or towering trees, family members are safe and healthy, and happiness is happiness!
It's good to have a younger brother! If you also have a little brother whose brain cells are broken, if you have the patience to wait for flowers to bloom, I believe that one day, he will grow up!