Lev tolstoy once said: "Happy families are generally similar, and each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."
I understand the happy family here in lev tolstoy as a loving family.
I had the honor to interview the top liberal arts scholar in our city with my predecessors. When we asked him what you think is the most favorable factor for your growth or study, he didn't talk about his review strategy and successful experience, but simply answered:
My parents love each other, which is the most stable backer on my study road.
Then, he shared with me the daily life of his parents. Maybe it's a cup of green tea made by mom for dad in the morning, maybe it's a breakfast made by dad for mom, or two people understand each other when they meet something.
"They love these details, which make me study with more peace of mind, have more confidence in my choices and plans, and go to my goals without worry."
After the interview, my predecessors and I sat in the car and concluded that most excellent children have a pair of parents who know how to express love and give love.
Satya, an American psychologist, said: "A person is inextricably linked with his family, and the mode of parents' getting along is the mode of children's learning."
A child who has been in a quarreling and violent environment for a long time can't build a complete personality by himself and can't communicate his ideas confidently. They are walking on thin ice on the road of growth, timid and even afraid, and insecurity will become a shackle that will hold their throats.
The love between parents in a family is not only the embodiment of the feelings between husband and wife, but also plays an important role in the cultivation of children.
Parents love each other's families, and children are not too bad.
02
In a family where parents love each other, children are more confident and more resistant to stress.
Some time ago, the three families in the hit drama "Little Joy" caused great discussion.
Ji's parents are not at home all the year round, Joe's parents are divorced, and space bound recovery has followed his parents since childhood. The point is that his parents are very loving.
Different family environments also make these three children react differently in the face of the college entrance examination.
Ji rebelled, using alienation to cover up inner loneliness; Qiao Yingzi was depressed and once jumped into the sea to get rid of it; Space bound recovery is the only one with the worst grades among several children, but in the face of the college entrance examination, he is the most confident one, with the healthiest psychology, the happiest life and incomparable longing for the future.
Space bound recovery every confidence and freedom, because he firmly believes that there is a warm family behind.
He believes that they love themselves and they love each other.
Parents are architects of the family and trainers of children. A loving parent family is like a warm nest, giving children enough courage to pursue everything they want and giving them enough sense of security.
In real life, children who can say "My parents love each other very much" frankly and without modification are full of light in their hearts. They have excellent qualities such as self-confidence, generosity and positive sunshine.
Of course. Letting children see their parents who love them is not to let parents play the role of "loving each other" in daily life. Love cannot be performed. What parents need to do is to really manage their feelings and let their children feel the precious wealth brought by their parents' love in the details.
03
Loving parents can let their children see their future happiness.
For children, parents are their mirrors: what parents look like, they learn from gourd.
Some psychologists have done relevant psychological surveys: the children of couples who often quarrel in the family are generally irritable, anxious and even inferior.
For children, they will pay great attention to the words and deeds between their parents, and use it as an analysis of their own environment, and even infer their family environment when they grow up.
We all know the love story between Qian Zhongshu and Jiang Yang. Qian Zhongshu once commented on Jiang Yang:
"The most virtuous wife, the most talented woman."
The love between two people has now become a much-told story. Their daughter Qian Yuan also thanked her parents for their love:
"I always think that a child who is loved by her parents is very lucky, because she has seen what good feelings are, so she has a keen sense of love for health. Then you know how to run in the right direction. ?
So I especially thank my parents, because you love each other and play the piano and sing. So I feel like a lucky kid. "
Qian Yuan's life was bumpy, but he never lacked love. There were parents who loved her in childhood, and then there were husbands and children who loved her.
Everyone will inevitably repeat their parents' trajectory when they grow up. The moment when parents fall in love is the light in their lives. When they enter marriage, they will unconsciously pursue this kind of light.
Children whose parents love each other are really lucky. They don't have to think carefully about who they should please, and they don't have to be afraid to guess whether they are unloved by their parents. They live an open and generous life.
Moreover, they can learn love from their parents' love, see the happiness of their future marriage and look forward to it.
04
The best thing fathers can do for their children is to love their mothers.
Why are children more likely to be "excellent" in families where parents love each other?
The Excellence of a child is not simply measured by achievements or failures.
Children's Excellence includes: you have a sound personality, good temperament, positive and sunny personality, and the ability to love and be loved.
And these excellent things, children learn from their parents.
A family's education and loving interaction between parents are like a good antique. It has experienced wind and rain and the touch of different people, and then quietly accumulated under the care and polishing.
Compared with sending children to various training institutions in summer vacation to improve their academic performance, compared with sending children to various interest classes on weekdays to increase their advantages, compared with forcing children to see various secretaries, forcing them to become better.
It is better to love your other half and let your child have the ability to perceive love from an early age, so that his future life will be kinder and warmer. .