In life, there are always people who feel that "everything is not as good as people". No matter work or life, I am disheartened, disillusioned and lose the courage to struggle and forge ahead. From a psychological point of view, this is a manifestation of inferiority.
Inferiority is a kind of personality defect, an emotional experience of being ashamed because of too much self-denial, which is produced through the negative self-suggestion of inferiority complex. Generally, people with low self-esteem always despise themselves blindly, and always feel that they can't do this or that, and nothing can compare with others. Once this emotion occupies my heart, depression, worry and anxiety will follow. If they encounter some difficulties or setbacks, those who feel inferior will sigh and despair, and those bright and beautiful hopes seem to have cut off their relationship. Come to think of it, inferiority is actually just a futile self-torture, because it will not give people encouragement or strength, but will only destroy people's body and mind and steal people's backbone.
The harm of inferiority to people mainly includes:
First, it affects people's mental health. Among people with low self-esteem, some negative emotions (such as sadness, fear, etc. ) are very common. In the long run, people will have psychological problems and even psychological obstacles.
Second, it affects people's health. Long-term inferiority complex will cause physiological changes, damage to various organs, and lead to various physical and mental diseases, such as peptic ulcer and hypertension.
Third, it affects people's social adaptability. Because the lack of cognitive ability makes people unable to treat problems correctly, it is difficult for people with inferiority to get along with others and succeed. The practice of real life also proves that people with serious inferiority complex not only can't get happiness in life, but also often accomplish nothing in their careers. On the contrary, those who have made great achievements are broad-minded and confident people. Li Siguang, a famous scientist, can turn a new page in geological research because of his strong sense of responsibility and dedication. Therefore, self-confidence and self-improvement are the internal determinants of success and the spiritual factors of success.
Cowardice makes people shrink back.
Wittgenstein said, "Courage leads to heaven, and cowardice often knocks on the door of hell." Cowardly people, no matter what they say, do or treat others, are cautious and timid. They are always afraid of doing something wrong and dare not cross the line. Because I am too worried and afraid, I am hesitant to do things, and my efficiency is particularly low. For them, the best choice is to do as little or nothing as possible. Generally speaking, cowards generally have the following characteristics:
(1) Cowards are afraid of competition.
Cowardly people pay attention to people everywhere and try to keep themselves away from places they shouldn't go. They show amazing indifference to people and things. They hold an attitude that has nothing to do with themselves, protect themselves wisely, ignore evil forces and even dare not fight them. In other words, even if a cowardly person finds that the interests of himself or others have been violated, he will only submit to humiliation and dare not stand up. No matter how the other party infringes on himself, he still insists on putting up with it, which will inevitably cause the infringer to push his luck and get worse. This fear of competition makes them even more incompetent. In the long run, they will lose their proper joys and sorrows, lose their ability to enjoy life, and finally have no happiness at all.
(2) Cowardly people lack the spirit of adventure
Life is a challenge, and society is a big playground. The strong win and the weak are eliminated. The strong struggle, the weak rise. Everyone is facing challenges and experiencing challenges. Cowardly people often doubt their abilities and fear that failure will affect their talents. When they encounter new plans and new challenges, they will always put forward various reasons to postpone their implementation, thinking that this will reduce risks, but at the same time they will lose many opportunities for success. Therefore, cowardly people often accomplish nothing in their careers.
(3) Cowardly people have no practical activity ability.
Cowardly people are often giants of language and dwarfs of action. They are good at boasting and like to flaunt their boldness and fearlessness. They talk plausibly, as if nobody cares about anything, and often show off themselves, but when it comes to courage and the courage to do it, they often flinch at once. They are not only afraid of doing bad things, but also afraid of causing trouble. Even if you have to do it, you are very passive and afraid in the process of doing it, and you are always worried about unexpected situations. At the same time, they are also afraid to communicate with others, avoid communication, close themselves, and always put themselves in a mediocre position.
(4) Cowardly people have dependence.
Most of them like to think of others, and sometimes they tend to ignore their hobbies. Their motivation is not to help others, but to see that others need them. They like to obey others, but they obey not out of fear, but to please others. These are the characteristics of people with strong dependence.
Cowardice is a stumbling block on the road to success, and it is also the main obstacle to a person's development and progress. British novelist Swift said: "If you are a coward, you are your own greatest enemy;" If you are brave, you are your biggest friend. "As long as you dare to challenge and are not afraid of strong players, cowardice will eventually stay away from you.
Vanity is the trap of success.
Vanity is an abnormal social emotion to satisfy one's desire for honor and social status. In order to exaggerate their abilities, people with strong vanity often take anti-social measures such as exaggeration, concealment, deception, comparison and even crime to satisfy their vanity. Life is realistic, false aura will not cover your head forever, there will always be dim moments. If you want to make life full of sunshine, you must eradicate this illusory vanity from your life. Machiavelli said: "A simple attitude towards life will keep you away from all kinds of illusory and noisy interference, thus winning the most precious time for your real success in life."
From the perspective of individual psychology, vanity has the following reasons:
(1) driven by face concept
More than 50 years ago, in My Country and My People, Mr. Lin Yutang thought that the three goddesses who ruled China were "face, fate and grace". "Saving face" is a common national psychology in China society. Face behavior reflects China people's feelings and needs of respect and self-esteem. To lose face is to deny one's talent, which is absolutely unacceptable. In order not to lose face, some people show themselves by "slapping their faces".
(2) It is related to dramatic personality tendency.
Most people who are greedy for vanity are fickle, pretentious, lack of true feelings, stand out from others and are impetuous.
(3) Deep psychological defects such as inferiority complex and guilty conscience are hidden behind vanity.
Most people with vanity have deep psychological defects such as inferiority complex and guilty conscience. Vanity is just a kind of compensation. They try their best to pursue glitz to cover up their psychological defects.
Vanity behavior and its harm are as follows:
(1) vanity of material life
Mainly manifested as a pathological comparison behavior, its creed is "you have me, you have to have me." If not, I'd rather be fat, but also need the appreciation and envy of people around me.
(2) vanity in social life.
It is mainly manifested as a pathological self-boasting behavior, and often over-expresses itself through deception such as boasting and hiding. For example, some people boast that they are relatives or friends of an important person, while others hide some of their shortcomings, steal the column and dominate the market. These situations have spread to all aspects of life.
(3) vanity in spiritual life
Mainly manifested as a morbid jealousy behavior. Self-esteem and face can only be achieved in social activities. Through social comparison, people gradually establish a kind of self-consciousness in the individual's spiritual world, and self-consciousness subconsciously drives individuals to compare with others in order to gain a new sense of self-esteem. Most people can accept the fact that they have some shortcomings, while people with strong vanity deny that they have shortcomings, so they subconsciously have jealousy impulses, which are manifested as rejection, irony, attack, alienation, and embarrassment to those who are better than themselves, cheating in work assessment and rating.
We all like applause, compliments and compliments, so when others flatter us, we usually feel quite good. Who doesn't want to be flattered and praised? In fact, flattery can really make people happy. But if you are blinded by vanity, there will be a lot of pain and frustration in your life. Excessive vanity is a psychological dead corner, and you can never get any benefits from it.
Jealousy is the virus of the soul
In essence, jealousy is an unfair psychological discomfort caused by seeing people with the same goals and aspirations succeed. Harvard university professor Dai? Garrick said, "Envy is the bellows of the soul. You can stir up your desire with a light pull, and you can catch fire with dozens of hard pulls. "
Jealousy covers a wide range, including jealousy, jealousy and jealousy. Jealousy manifests itself in various ways, some of which are devoted to malicious slander through gossip, while others are put into despicable actions. There was a news in the newspaper that a woman was jealous of her neighbor's boy and strangled him and threw him into the well. Of course, this is just a situation of extreme jealousy.
According to the speed and intensity of jealousy, jealousy can be divided into two types: one is jealousy associated with passion, which is called "excited jealousy". This kind of jealousy has strong passion, intense, rapid development and is difficult to control; The other is related to emotions and is called "emotional jealousy". This kind of jealousy is slow and lasting, and its influence on human body is not as obvious as the former one, but it can change people's character.
Jealousy generally has the following hazards:
(1) Jealousy does harm to people's body and mind
Traditional Chinese medicine has long discussed this. Huangdi Neijing? Su Wen clearly pointed out: "Ignorance of burning in the fire will make people upset, exhausted, depressed, kidney qi blocked, stagnant, invasion of exogenous pathogens, lack of essence and blood, renal failure, loss of yang, and disease breeding." Modern psychological immunology research reveals that the brain is closely related to the human immune system. The dysfunction of cerebral cortex caused by jealousy can reduce the functions of thymus, spleen, lymph glands and bone marrow of human immune system, resulting in the reduction of immune cells and immunoglobulin production, thus greatly reducing the body's resistance.
(2) Jealousy is harmful to personal development
Jealous people like to blame others for their mistakes or careless consequences, and constantly blame and blame others to forgive themselves. They care too much about themselves, exaggerate their importance for no reason, always ask too much of others, and never believe in their motives and wishes. This kind of psychology will inevitably affect personal interpersonal relationships and social functions, destroy friendship, damage unity, bring losses and pains to others, and also hurt one's own mind and health.
The root of jealousy is extreme individualism. Extremely individualistic people always think of themselves first and haggle over personal interests. They have strong self-esteem, are used to belittling others, can't tolerate others surpassing their own reality, are narrow-minded and gloomy, and many thoughts are shameful.
To cure jealousy, we must recognize the harm of jealousy, start with overcoming extreme individualism, treat people with humility and sincerity, and fundamentally cut off the source of the disease.
Weak will is the tragedy of life.
Will is a psychological process of consciously organizing one's own actions and connecting them with overcoming difficulties in order to achieve a certain goal. The stable and distinct psychological characteristics of human will action are the quality of human will. If a person's actions are conscious, decisive, self-controlled and persistent, then he has good will quality. On the contrary, if a person often shows the characteristics of blind obedience, arbitrariness, indecision, vacillation, stubbornness, impulsiveness, then he has bad will quality, that is, weak will.
No matter which company you work for, Mr. S is unlikable. He has no patience and doesn't know what patience is. Once the superior asked him to finish a very simple report, he only worked for a while and then went out for coffee, which almost delayed his work. He never stopped drinking, often got as drunk as a fiddler, and simply didn't go to work the next day. Sometimes, when they are drunk, they fool around in shops, insult women and cause a lot of trouble. He borrowed money everywhere without a plan, so that his salary and bonus were often used to pay off debts. His wife couldn't stand her husband's absurd behavior, so she left home with two children. A few years after Mr. S left the company, his former colleagues found his name on the social page of the newspaper. According to the newspaper, Mr. S was caught red-handed by the police for stealing in department stores and supermarkets because of his difficult life. Mr. S was poor because he was spoiled by his parents when he was young, and then the environment changed. Because of his weak will, he can't adapt to this environmental change. In short, Mr. S is an irresponsible man with no future.
In psychology, weak will is a defect in personality, which is manifested in low evaluation of one's intelligence and ability. Sometimes this bad mentality will ruin a person, make people degenerate or suffer from psychopathy or even mental illness, but sometimes it can also make people try to make up for their weaknesses. Demos Law, a famous orator in ancient Greece, was eloquent and stuttering when he was young, but he was determined to become an orator. Although he was booed by the audience for the first time after years of hard work, he was not discouraged. Facing the sea, I practiced repeatedly with a stone in my mouth and shaved myself. He stayed indoors and worked hard, and finally became a famous speech hero in ancient Greece.
Psychologists call this kind of effort to make up for their weaknesses compensation function. After analyzing the compensation function of human beings, a psychologist said: "The life of a great man is actually a history of struggle, so it can be seen how likely it is to be obtained through compensation!" Alexander, Napoleon and Nelson all made brilliant achievements in the military because they were born short. Socrates and Voltaire, because of their shame, made great efforts in thinking, and as a result, they shined brilliantly in the field of philosophy. Therefore, people's defects are not absolutely unchangeable, but depend on whether we are willing to change ourselves. As long as we make up our minds and pay attention to scientific methods, you will see that we can adjust ourselves to a good state! "
If people want to surpass themselves, they must overcome their weak will, overcome their inferiority with perseverance and be a strong-willed person. Marx appreciated the proverb: "You think giants are unattainable just because you are kneeling. As long as you stand up, you are not necessarily shorter than others. Beyond inferiority, you will definitely surpass yourself. "
Worry is the invisible killer of health.
For those who trudge on the road to success, every step of success requires efforts, and with anxiety and anxiety, these bad emotions are inevitable. However, if a person lives in anxiety and tension for a long time, his mental state will be extremely chaotic and gradually form a mindset, which will directly affect his own spirit and behavior and cause adverse consequences.
Alexis, winner of the Nobel Prize in Medicine? Dr Karel said: "Businessmen who don't know how to resist worries will die short-lived." When talking about the influence of anxiety on people, a doctor said that as long as fear and anxiety can be eliminated, 70% people will naturally get better. These diseases are real physiological diseases, such as gastric ulcer. Fear makes you anxious, anxiety makes you nervous, affects the gastric nerve, and makes the secretion of gastric juice in the stomach change from normal to abnormal, so it is easy to cause gastric ulcer.
Worry can also easily lead to neurological and mental problems. The famous doctor Mayo Brothers announced that more than half of our beds are occupied by people with mental disorders. However, even under the high-power microscope, most people's nerves are found to be very healthy by the most modern methods. Their "neurological problems" are not caused by any abnormality in their nerves, but by pessimism, irritability, anxiety, anxiety, fear, depression, depression and so on.
With the progress of modern medicine, we have controlled many terrible diseases caused by physiological reasons. However, the medical community has been unable to treat mental and physical diseases that are not caused by physiology, but by emotional anxiety, fear, hatred, irritability and despair. The disasters caused by this kind of emotional disease are more and more, the scope is wider and wider, and the spread speed is amazing.
What are the causes of mental disorders? No one knows all the answers. However, in quite a few cases, mental disorders are likely to be caused by fear and anxiety.
Especially for women, trouble is like a hidden killer. It can make a woman old and even ruin her appearance. Worry will make their expressions ugly, make them grit their teeth, wrinkle their faces and have gray hair.
William, the father of applied psychology? Professor James once told his students: "Being willing to accept this situation ... accepting the fait accompli is the first step to overcome any misfortune that comes with it." But in reality, there are still thousands of people who have ruined their lives because of anxiety. They refuse to accept the worst, refuse to make improvements, and don't want to save something as much as possible in the disaster. Not only do they not want to rebuild their wealth, but they are also immersed in the memory of past failures ... Finally, they make themselves victims of anxiety, and they destroy the last cornerstone of their success-health.
Life should be psychologically prepared to accept the worst, and greet every sunrise and sunset with a calm mood. This is the true meaning of life.
The influence of depression on people
The future is bright and the road is tortuous. Life can't be smooth sailing and soar. When encountering difficulties and setbacks, extreme depression will make you lose all hope, and at the same time make you unable to control your own destiny and change yourself. Pestalozzi said: "Depression is the enemy, it will steal our eyes, cover our vision with endless tears, and make us unable to find the way forward."
The main symptoms of depression are body, mood and thinking, such as persistent mental depression, irritability and emptiness; Pessimistic and disappointed about the future, thinking that life is meaningless; Have no interest in daily life; Severe insomnia and abnormal behavior; Lack of concentration leads to poor memory.
Its negative impact on life mainly includes:
(1) Escape from reality and brew your own bitter fruit.
Depression makes people lament the injustice of fate and bad luck; I am not interested in anything, listless all day, close myself up, build a small world for myself, where I blame myself and resent myself, my self-confidence drops, I neglect to communicate with the outside world, and I am lonely and pessimistic; I can't face the reality correctly, but I always want to escape from it: I can't see the hope of the future, I am stubborn, and I am tasting the bitter fruit there.
(2) magnify misfortune and disturb life.
Depression often magnifies the misfortunes in life, so it is necessary for middle-aged people who are constantly troubled by strong depression to receive psychotherapy. However, many people are often unwilling to admit that they have psychological problems, which can easily lead to depression further affecting work, life and marriage.
(3) Depression can induce heart disease.
According to the research report of Ohio State University, depression is related to heart disease in both men and women, and men are more likely to die of heart disease. According to this report, depressed women are 73% more likely to suffer from heart disease and other heart diseases than non-depressed women, but their chances of dying from heart disease have not increased; Depressed men are 7 1% more likely to suffer from heart disease and 2.4 times more likely to die from heart disease than non-depressed men.
Anxiety makes it difficult to calm down.
Anxiety disorder is a common psychological disorder. Research shows that about 4. 1% ~ 6.6% of the urban population will suffer from anxiety in their lifetime.
In life, most of us have experienced such a mentality: when we are in love, we can't hear from each other for a long time, so we start all kinds of ideas, followed by paranoia, depression and doing nothing; Facing the upcoming job interview or entrance examination, I am very nervous and worried about failure, so I feel anxious and can't let go. Children who have never been far away suddenly go to school and live in other places, and mothers are always worried about whether the children adapt and go smoothly. At first, they talked about it, and soon they became restless and even insomnia. ...
According to psychologists, anxiety refers to a reaction similar to worry, or a tendency to worry about any situation that is currently or estimated to pose a potential threat to self-esteem, living environment and future development. Anxiety is mainly manifested in fear, and there are many other emotional components, such as anger, pain, guilt, shame and so on.
Short-term anxiety will leave no trace, while persistent anxiety may be internalized into personality characteristics. If a person is trapped in anxiety for a long time, he will often feel bored with anxiety, fear, trouble and other experiences, and will also shrink back, be depressed and be indifferent in behavior. And often regret and blame yourself because of the obstacles of desire. Over time, mental illness will be formed, which is anxiety, or anxiety psychosis.
The prominent feature of anxiety disorder is that patients often feel uneasy, nervous and anxious continuously or suddenly, which seems to be a catastrophe. The intensity of patients' emotional reaction is not commensurate with the actual difficulties in their living and working environment. In the eyes of others, the fear and tension that patients feel are completely unnecessary, but they can't control themselves and get rid of mental pain, and they are often accompanied by some symptoms of plant hyperthyroidism such as palpitation, chest tightness, shortness of breath, suffocation, dizziness, fear of cold and nausea. The anxiety in patients' hearts makes their lives a mess and they can't do anything.
Psychoanalytic school believes that anxiety comes from the internal conflict of spirit, including the conflict between instinctive impulse and realistic principle, and the conflict between instinctive impulse and moral code. People's primitive impulses are not satisfied or vented because of defensive behavior. When instinctive impulses continue to accumulate to a certain extent, self-control ability will fail. Because they are committed to the fierce internal defense work, when the instinctive impulse is overloaded, the ineffective defense becomes anxiety, and their behavior shows the characteristics of fidgeting, excitement, impetuousness, tension and insomnia.