First, within the family, this is the collective unconscious of the family. Parents don't understand, but they have been worried about it. They may quarrel, complain and be indignant because of trivial matters, all of which come from the instability of the family core. Observe what can arouse their great sense of happiness and dignity, what causes their panic and confusion, and what they don't want to say, so as to see through. In fact, in a family that quarrels endlessly about money, children like to have control over money when they grow up; In a family arguing about marriage, children are also very sensitive to emotions; Children from families with chronic diseases and poor health will put health in an important position; For families troubled by social status and power, children's desire to attack society will increase, either elite or rebellious. The perception within the family and the inner experience of fathers will inevitably attract the active attention of children, and the power of development will accumulate around this.
Second, the behavior of parents who have a sculptural effect on children, as well as families who respect teachers and respect Taoism, children will gradually know books and know rituals, and parents like reading. Although children will tear and destroy books when they are young, they will naturally love reading when they grow up. Children's behavior is like a continuation of parents' behavior. If children want to be filial to themselves when they grow up, they must be filial to their parents. Children will keep it in mind when they see it, and filial piety comes first. People who complain that their children don't like learning often get no pleasure in learning. Learning is a kind of pain for them, and children do not regard learning as a pleasure. Parents' behaviors, living habits and hobbies have a subtle influence on children. Parents should pretend to like what they want their children to be. We also observed that beating and scolding children, abuse and violence can also be inherited in the family, and parents' behavior will have a psychological imprint on children. Before children have their own judgments and decisions, their inner cognitive and emotional models have basically taken shape.
Thirdly, the sculptural power of children's behavior lies in that parents' language is a description, not a feeling within the family. There are evaluations and judgments in language, which involve the world outlook, but language always stimulates inner feelings. Psychology agrees with "pygmalion effect"-the way you talk to your child, the way you describe your child, and the way the child gradually becomes. Some parents like to belittle and deny their children, thinking that this will stimulate their self-esteem and struggle. The self-esteem aroused in that way is false self-esteem, in order to cover up one's inferiority complex. This self-esteem is for parents.
Fourthly, shaping power is an environmental problem, which cannot be solved by a single family. In addition to the living environment of the family, it is mainly social atmosphere, social education, social material conditions and social security order. The change of environment must be the effort of the whole society. Parents can encourage their children to choose environment and reduce contact with bad environment. Parents can ensure their children's food and clothing and quiet learning conditions, choose schools with strict order and high education level, encourage their children to associate with motivated classmates and friends, appreciate the positive culture and spiritual morality of society, and have a clear conscience.
The cultivation of children is a systematic project, and the pressure of family recessive "debt" is intangible, and parents are also involved in it. We encourage parents to know more about their families and draw a genealogy to analyze their "problems". Conscious parents will not pass on some unhealthy pressure to their children and make them lose the happiness of survival. Rich and satisfied parents never let their children live too comfortably and maintain their independent personality from an early age. Like father, like son, like tiger, like father, like son looks good, but it's actually hard to do. Each generation has a natural position in the development of the family and has its own unique sense of mission. What is important is how to resolve the unfavorable factors and how to use the internal pressure of the family to benefit children in their growth.