What should I do if my husband and wife live unharmoniously?
Sexual life is an important part of husband and wife's life. Harmonious sexual life is not only the physiological needs of husband and wife, but also conducive to promoting marital feelings, family harmony and happiness, and social stability. So how to deal with the disharmony of sexual life?
Reasons for marital discord:
1. Psychological barriers: When couples are newly married, the "disharmony" in sexual life is mostly caused by psychological barriers such as insufficient psychological preparation and being at a loss, and the woman's problems are more serious. Many women's understanding of "sex" is not enough, too idealistic or not at all, or some women have had sexual experience, and the failure of sexual experience will affect the sexual life of husband and wife, thus causing psychological obstacles when they really have sex.
2. Life pressure: The main reason for this phenomenon is the pressure at work. With the accelerated pace of social life and fierce competition, professional women feel great pressure in their work and life. Therefore, being busy and nervous makes them ignore the important husband and wife life.
What if the husband and wife are not in harmony?
1, cultivate more feelings at ordinary times:
Husband and wife life is that two people enjoy life together and enjoy the happiness and love in their world. If we regard the life of husband and wife as a task, we lose the meaning of this life. Therefore, husband and wife should actively cultivate their feelings in daily life, communicate with each other more in life, and establish a harmonious emotional life.
2. Make the life of husband and wife more regular.
Many couples lack effective communication and family life, which leads to emotional breakdown and even divorce. In order to make up the emotional deficiency, achieve the tacit understanding between husband and wife, and achieve a more regular husband and wife life, both husband and wife can meet the requirements of both sides, strengthen the intimate relationship between husband and wife, and improve the quality of enjoying life.
Both husband and wife should be considerate and understand each other.
For the quality of husband and wife's life, both husband and wife should make efforts, don't blame the stress of husband and wife's life on one person, and make sure that husband and wife's life is integrated into everyone's heart. Both sides must understand and support each other, so as to make their feelings alive and enhance mutual trust and love between husband and wife.
Life frequency of husband and wife
Physiologically speaking, men and women can have sex when they are sexually excited, regardless of age, as long as they are not forced and have no uncomfortable feelings, regardless of how long it has been since the last time. Some newlyweds have sex almost every day during their honeymoon, including having sex four or five times in a row on their wedding night, or even having sex behind closed doors during the day, but they should be properly controlled and not overdone.
According to some surveys, the frequency of men's sexual life generally decreases with age, and it is three times a week during the period of 22-25 years old; 32 to 35 years old, twice a week; 4 1-45 years old, it drops to 1 time per week. Of course, this is only an average. There are great differences among different age groups, some people as many as several times a day, and some people as little as once a month. Therefore, we can't judge whether sexual life is moderate only from the frequency of sexual intercourse.
The objective criterion to measure whether the frequency of husband and wife's life is appropriate is whether they are full of energy and happy in body and mind the next morning. If the following situations occur in the second day or a few days after the couple's sexual life, and no other reasons can be found, it can be considered excessive, so it is necessary to moderately and appropriately extend the interval of sexual life.
(1) Mental fatigue, listlessness, work fatigue, inattention in study, drowsiness.
(2) General weakness, backache and leg weakness, laziness, top-heavy, dizziness.
(3) Pale face, dull eyes, gaunt expression and thin body.
(4) Shortness of breath and heartbeat, occasional sweating, insomnia and dreaminess, and difficulty in falling asleep.
(5) Loss of appetite, loss of appetite, poor appetite and mild nausea.
If the above situation occurs, it should be corrected in time to reduce the number of sexual life, and serious cases should be suspended for a period of time. But don't worry too much about this, because: generally, sexual life is excessive. As long as you temporarily stop sexual life for a while, pay attention to rest and strengthen nutrition, there is no big problem for your health. Of course, if you continue to indulge yourself, the consequences will be bad.
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How long do husband and wife live?
When couples make love, under normal circumstances, the duration is about 5- 15 minutes, so. Most people think that the longer each sexual life lasts, the more sexual satisfaction they can get. This view is unscientific. Sexual physiology research shows that once, in fact, every couple's physique and sexual habits were different, that is, the specific situation and environmental conditions of each sexual life of the same couple were different. Therefore, it is difficult to set a standard for how long each sexual life lasts.
In addition, in the process of sexual life, not only the sex organs of both men and women are in a state of high congestion, but also many tissues and organs of the human body are involved in this special physiological process from sexual excitement to orgasm, which will inevitably affect the work and labor the next day. Therefore, experts suggest that both husband and wife should be moderate in sex life, and frequent sex life is not conducive to the health of both sides.
Matters needing attention in husband and wife life
1, the reproductive organs should be kept clean.
Both men and women should pay attention to keeping the external reproductive organs clean. In addition to taking a bath regularly, we should also pay attention to washing the external genitals with warm water frequently, and wash them separately before and after each sexual life. In this way, men can prevent dermatitis and balanitis; Women can prevent genital inflammation and urinary system infection. After sexual intercourse, both men and women should urinate immediately, which is conducive to discharging bacteria discharged into the bladder during sexual intercourse and reducing the chance of infection.
2, the number of sexual life should be appropriate.
Prevent overclocking, so as not to affect health. During the wedding, sexual desire is more vigorous and sexual requirements are more urgent, so special attention should be paid to moderation. It is not too much for healthy young men and women to have sex 3-4 times a week at the beginning of marriage, but people with poor health should have a longer interval and have less sex. How long is the appropriate interval? It depends on the age, physique, health, mental state and mood of both husband and wife. Feeling, fatigue and other factors. Generally speaking, the principle of not feeling sleepy and tired after sex does not affect work and study.
3, not suitable for making love when tired.
When one or both parties feel tired, they should take a proper rest to restore their mental and physical strength. It is not appropriate to have sex during this period. When men are tired, they barely have sex, which will not only weaken the sexual pleasure, but also aggravate the fatigue after sexual intercourse. The next day, they have headaches, dizziness, inattention, lack of motivation at work, backache and heavy legs, and are prone to premature ejaculation, impotence and other diseases. The woman is tired and barely manages, and it is easy to have an aversion to sex life. Over time, sexual apathy or aversion can be formed.
4. Stop having sex during illness.
If one of the husband and wife suffers from diseases, especially acute diseases or acute infectious diseases, they should temporarily stop having sex. Because the disease itself has caused physical exhaustion, sexual life will further consume physical strength, reduce the body's disease resistance, and lead to the deterioration of the disease. Especially when one party has infectious diseases, it may also spread the diseases to the other party.
In addition, due to the influence of diseases, sometimes it will harm the health of sperm or eggs. When women suffer from certain diseases, the intrauterine environment may become unfavorable to the development of fertilized eggs. If she is pregnant after sexual intercourse, unhealthy fertilized eggs may appear in the combination of unhealthy sperm and eggs. Such fertilized eggs live in an unsuitable uterine environment, and the fetus born will have many unexpected consequences.
5. Sexual life is prohibited during menstruation.
Menstruation is usually 3-5 days per month, and the elderly can reach 6-7 days. During menstruation, endometrial shedding and fresh wounds in the official cavity are easy to cause infection and inflammation of reproductive organs. Moreover, pelvic congestion during menstrual period can increase menstrual flow and prolong menstrual period. Men will also cause urethritis and cystitis due to sexual intercourse infection, and there will be symptoms such as frequent urination and urgency.
If menstruation comes on the wedding day, sexual life should also be forbidden, otherwise it will cause inflammation of reproductive organs (endometritis, adnexitis, pelvic inflammatory disease, etc.). ), it will not only damage health but also affect sexual life in the future, and even some people will be infertile for life because of tubal inflammation and blockage.
6. Be careful about your sex life during pregnancy.
In the first three months of pregnancy, the stimulation of sexual life will cause uterine contraction, causing abdominal pain and bleeding in women. Even abortion. Sexual life should also be avoided in the third trimester of pregnancy to prevent premature delivery due to the stimulation of sexual impulses. Especially in the last 1 month of pregnancy, it is not suitable for sexual behavior, so as not to cause inflammation of the birth canal. As for other times, although it is not absolutely forbidden, it must be controlled. At the same time, we should pay attention not to oppress the woman's abdomen during sexual intercourse, and not to have too intense sexual intercourse. If you have a history of miscarriage or premature delivery, you should follow the doctor's advice and separate the husband and wife throughout pregnancy.
7. There should be no sexual life during the puerperium.
The changes of the whole body and reproductive organs after pregnancy gradually recover after delivery, which takes about 6-7 weeks. It is called puerperium or "confinement".
At this time, the maternal body resistance is poor, and it is more likely to get sick after placental abruption in postpartum uterus. Therefore, we should pay attention to rest during the puerperium, and don't have sex during the puerperium, so as not to cause inflammation of the birth canal or hinder the healing of perineum and vagina wounds. If postpartum bloody leucorrhea lasts for a long time, the abstinence time will be prolonged accordingly.
8. It is advisable to control sexual life during lactation.
Although this period is not a forbidden area for sexual intercourse, it is necessary to control sexual life because lactating women have few requirements and their main energy is to take care of their children day and night, fatigue and decreased libido. Female genitalia temporarily atrophied due to breastfeeding. Vaginal wall is fragile, and sexual intercourse may cause tissue laceration, leading to bleeding and infection. Therefore, the man should avoid rough movements and control his sex life.
9. Avoid sex after contraception.
Don't have sexual intercourse within 1 month after upper ring, ring removal, induced labor in big month, vasectomy, caesarean section and sterilization, so as to avoid bacteria entering the uterine cavity, causing uterine inflammation, local infection and hematoma after vasectomy.
After abortion, the thigh in the uterus did not completely return to normal, and there was a wound in the uterine cavity. At this time, sexual life will cause inflammation of endometrium, which is formed in endometritis and adnexitis, and will also affect future fertility. If there is incomplete involution of uterus or residual placenta after delivery, postpartum lochia will not only drip and leak. Then according to the condition, the sexual life time should be postponed appropriately.
What if the husband and wife bleed?
After marriage, life between husband and wife is a common occurrence. However, couples must pay attention to some related details to avoid adverse effects. What should I do if my husband and wife bleed? Usually, the bleeding in husband and wife's life often indicates that they have some gynecological diseases and need to be examined. In addition, bleeding may also mean that the husband and wife are too nervous. To understand their own situation, targeted treatment.
1, bleeding may have gynecological diseases.
Husband and wife bleeding may represent some diseases, manifested as vaginal bleeding caused by local organic lesions of external genitalia. Sexual bleeding can be cured if the local lesion is cured. Vaginal bleeding caused by vulvar ulcer, vulvar eczema and vulvar herpes should be treated with antibiotics first to eliminate inflammation, cure eczema and herpes, and vaginal bleeding will heal itself.
2. Improper lifestyle of husband and wife leads to bleeding.
If the husband and wife are bleeding due to improper life, in view of this situation, both husband and wife should understand each other, take appropriate posture, relax and eliminate women's concerns. Men should be fully prepared, such as caressing before sex. Sexual movements should be gentle, not rude.
3, abnormal situation, need to be cautious.
If both husband and wife have serious bleeding in their lives, it may be a symptom of cervical cancer. If it is the early stage of cervical cancer, the amount of bleeding may increase, and even blood clots may flow out. Because of the erosion and embrittlement of cancerous cervical tissue, and the good blood supply of the diseased part, direct collision with the cervix will cause bleeding.
Therefore, the bleeding in husband and wife's life can be caused by different reasons, and everyone should judge which situation they belong to according to different phenomena. Pay attention to learning physiological knowledge in daily life and do a good job in husband and wife health care.