Narcissistic personality Npd can hurt lovers, but narcissism itself is not a bad thing. It is very important to have a healthy level of narcissism. Healthy narcissism refers to a person's ability to constantly develop himself to meet his own needs. Unhealthy narcissism means that a person's needs are greater than his actual ability and he is always in an unsatisfied state.
On avoiding "fragile narcissistic structure"
For example, if an idea is not successfully realized, ta's narcissism will be destroyed, which will trigger an emotional reaction of "I can't live any longer", because "my desire is dead, which means I am dead".
If a person often gets no response in infancy, narcissism will be seriously damaged, forming a very fragile narcissistic structure. Fragile narcissism has no concept of time. Imagine in your mind what one thing should look like, such as the house should be clean, the exam should be the first, and how much money you want to earn this month. I hope it will be realized immediately.
In essence, I want to "control the objective world" with the thoughts in my head. It is a fact that the house is messy, which is neither good nor bad in itself, nor will it affect a conscious heart living in the present.
But to clean up, we must have the concept of time, need to wait and plan, and need time to sort it out bit by bit.
In fact, whether we pack up or not, we can all enjoy this moment. A messy room will affect our feelings, but it won't make people feel that they can't live any longer.
At work, fragile narcissists will pay more attention to their own correctness than to doing a good job itself. For example, prove that you are okay and the fault lies with others.
For people with stable personality, just face up to mistakes, correct them and continue to do things well. But fragile narcissists will think, "If my point of view is wrong, it means that I am wrong, and then I can't live."
Therefore, ta must defend itself desperately. Sticking to your own point of view or trying to prove your superiority will hurt others' feelings invisibly.
Avoid how to be healthy and narcissistic.
1. To experience the present pain, and at the same time keep the consciousness that "my narcissism is broken, and the unsatisfied baby can't live, and I won't die without me".
2. Change the cognition that "imperfection will lead to death". When there are emotional problems and avoidance can't solve the problem, ta's narcissism will also be broken, and then she feels that she is broken.
You know, even if the plan is perfect, everything can't go well. As adults, our personality can have resilience and breadth to accept all kinds of accidents and imperfections in life.
I didn't respond to my lover, but I didn't have the strength to respond at that moment. It doesn't mean that you will never respond, and it doesn't mean that the relationship will be shattered. Doesn't mean you are an imperfect person. "The relationship is not perfect, but it can still exist", "There are always various accidents and imperfections in life, but life will continue".