At the age of one year and eight months, he began to learn to read;
When he was over two years old, he could read more than 300 words.
At the age of three, he could read five or six picture books every day;
When he was four or five years old, he could finish reading one or two textbooks every day;
What will such a prodigy look like when he grows up? It can be said that it is full of suspense and expectation.
On June 9, 2007, 10, Xu Yushu appeared in Jingmen Evening News, because his reading ability and learning ability have far surpassed those of his peers.
201911310 in the early morning of October, 17-year-old genius boy chose to jump from the teaching building of Chongqing Second Foreign Language School.
Everything he said in the suicide note stung people.
He said, I'm sorry, I tried my best. You'd better get married early before you let yourself down so much next time. There is no wretch more despicable than me. I'm so fragile, I'm crushed.
Teenagers also see the reasons for choosing suicide thoroughly.
He said: people commit suicide because their vitality is exhausted, but their bodies are still alive. Living is really a great torture. I can't sleep without knowing the taste of food, but the most painful thing is to restore the stiff smile on my face. I often think that there is a kind of death under that face.
What makes a teenager, at the gaudy age of 17, run out of energy early and realize the hardships and powerlessness of living, suffocation and pain?
From the news report of reporter Deng Quanlun, we can get a glimpse of one or two.
According to the description of his father Xu in the news, we can know that Xu Yushu lived a relatively comfortable life when he was a child, because he showed extraordinary talent and intelligence very early. Therefore, as the father of a middle school teacher, he did not send his son to kindergarten, but adopted family education.
Father said: If every child is educated in the same way, it may not be a good thing for the cultivation and development of children's character.
There is nothing wrong with Xu's ideas. His ideas are still ahead of the times, and he really educated his son well.
In those years when I didn't go to school, my son grew fastest and was the happiest by my side. He is lively, cheerful and kind, playing while walking, and greeting dogs, kittens, small trees, grass and pebbles.
Moreover, Xu is not a stubborn person in family education. After his son expressed his idea of going to kindergarten, he quickly sent his son to kindergarten, but because Xu Yushu was unhappy in kindergarten, he went home again.
But as he admitted in the interview, his education for his son is biased towards people's self-feeling and conflicts with the mainstream values of society.
Perhaps, this laid the groundwork for the tragic fate of teenagers later.
Because Xu Yushu's death, from the root, is because he is different from most of us, and our society can neither understand nor accept this difference, and even chooses to ignore this difference from the source.
Since primary school, Xu Yushu's exercise book has been written with insulting words such as pigs from time to time by classmates. It can be guessed that he may have suffered from school bullying very early, because compared with most boys, he is not masculine enough.
From September 2065438 to September 2004, Xu Yushu was directly sent to Chongqing No.2 Foreign Language Middle School by Chongqing Nanping Experimental Primary School.
When I met Xu Yushu's head teacher, my father Xu Xiayuan was very happy at first.
He said: My son is very active in his studies. I'm not worried at all, but his character is too weak. Children used to be taught by female teachers and laughed at by classmates. I want the male teacher to influence my son's character and educate him to be a tough guy.
However, contrary to expectations, Xu Yushu not only did not get better because of the masculine education of male teachers, but began to deteriorate from the second day of junior high school, showing signs of depression.
In the exercise book, he recorded that in order to integrate into the collective and gain recognition, he did not hesitate to pretend to be crazy and please his classmates. But to no avail, this sensitive teenager, like an alien among his peers, always stays out of the group no matter how hard he tries, because he doesn't conform to his peers' definition and understanding of boys.
He is not masculine enough.
His father, Xu Xiayuan, found him strange and asked his class teacher for help.
And the teacher's response is: a person is ready to die or live badly.
It can be said that although the father may be ahead of his son's education, he can't help but lag behind the overall environment.
He told his son to tolerate others, so Xu Yushu, who was weak and filial, got used to silently enduring and blindly tolerating.
However, his tolerance and understanding did not get the same tolerance and understanding as others, but was an escalation of ridicule and rejection.
As a result, teenagers who were originally silent, sensitive and precocious became more and more silent, depressed and miserable, and even climbed windowsills and jumped off buildings many times.
The school also organized a psychiatric teacher to make a diagnosis, but the result of the examination is: simple psychological disorder, no need for drugs and hospitalization, just need to do some psychological counseling.
It was not until the Spring Festival of 20 18 that Xu Yushu, who could not bear mental injury and torture, went to the hospital for examination himself and was diagnosed by the doctor: depression, degeneration.
Although the result of the exam is very bad, it is as precious as grasping the straw for Xu Yushu, because it means that he can finally explain his uniqueness and the reasons for his inner confusion.
Just like when a person can't control his emotions, he will fall into remorse, guilt and confusion. However, if he is diagnosed with depression, the result will be different. The doctor will tell him that your reaction is normal because you are ill.
However, even if a person with mental or emotional problems finally convinces himself to accept himself, the heartless rejection and incomprehension of society will give him a blow and let him know that you accept it yourself, but if society does not accept it, you will become a different kind and be rejected by society and culture.
For Xu Yushu's problem, the professional doctor's advice is: leave him alone now, and it will be fine in a few years.
Father Xu's attitude is: children should take estrogen and buy women's clothes, and he also mentioned the requirement of transsexuality, which I can't accept.
The attitude of the school is even more intriguing, and he has been advised to come back to school.
Everyone chooses to ignore his strangeness, his mental torture and his pain. They just hope that he will live as soon as possible, become more masculine and psychologically stronger like most normal people, and stay ahead of others in learning.
Regarding the decision to send Xu Yushu back to school, his father later said in an interview: The child is very smart. At that time, I thought he would catch up with his studies soon. Being admitted to the university can offset his weakness and inferiority, and his illness will naturally recover.
Even though young Qian Qian asked for help thousands of times, everyone gave him an answer, slowly. ......
And at school, everything is normal, he is very good, his academic performance is very good, and there is no problem at all.
Even though he repeatedly recorded in his composition that he was diagnosed with depression and transsexuality, he also recorded that he had used mirror fragments to self-harm.
But the teacher's comment is: son, with all due respect, you think too much. Adults are uncomfortable, and they are not adults!
In the summer of 20 17, Xu Yushu was once again sent to Hongzhi class of our school to attend high school.
Xu said: What I can't let go of most is my son's mental health.
He asked the teacher for help many times: don't worry about the child's study, please help me care about his psychological condition. In order to keep an eye on the children, I almost knelt down and begged them.
After Xu Yushu died, the computer maintenance master who knew him probably gave him the most neutral evaluation.
In view of his talent, the master said: Xiao Xu is very clever and proficient in computer knowledge. I have to think about a computer maintenance plan for a few minutes, and he will come out in a few seconds.
According to his personality, the master said: But he is gloomy, always unhappy, and his speech is feminine.
In view of his experience at school, the master said: It is obvious that he has encountered great pressure at school.
Regarding his family education, the master said: He is more like being in the Education Bureau at home. His father is strict with his study, and his attitude is stubborn and rude. I went out to play with my classmates and was asked to come back for 20 minutes. I suggested to Lao Xu that children should be given more space and should not be kept too tight.
However, Xu, his father, still thinks that the reason of school is bigger, and lists several examples.
The school doesn't care about the children's psychological state: once, Yu Shu's mobile phone was stolen in the dormitory, and he was so sad that he lost control, because the mobile phone was worth more than 2,000 yuan and was regarded as a treasure by him. When told to go to school, the teacher didn't find out who stole it. He just thought that it was a violation of discipline for students to bring their mobile phones into school, and avoided talking about the psychological damage caused by the sudden loss of their mobile phones.
I don't care if children are bullied: On the first day of Yu Shu's return home in the summer vacation of the second year of junior high school, I found that one of his sportswear was torn to pieces, so I asked him what happened. He did not say a word. It is still unknown whether the child tore it himself or the classmate tore it.
Children's emotional intelligence is not high, and they are better than most students, which leads to isolation and helplessness: Xu Yushu quoted Kan Kan, a classic of Chinese studies, in a class speech, which attracted countless surprised and envious eyes of students; But the second speech, when he quoted the classics again, caused a burst of laughter. His Excellence has been recognized by most of his classmates, but he is eager to over-express, which has caused everyone's alienation. His emotional intelligence is not good, which must hurt his heart.
The school knows that the child has psychological problems but does nothing: from junior high school to senior high school, it has explained his son's psychological problems to the school teachers many times, but it has not received the attention and attention that the school deserves. I called many times, but my counselor later refused to answer my phone, so I couldn't get through. The head teacher of my son's high school even said to me, "Lao Xu, this child is very good and his mental state is normal.". I think you need to see a doctor
Afterwards, the attitude of the school is: there are more than 5000 students in the school. Why are only your children jumping off buildings?
Xu Yushu's body has been stored in the funeral home for more than five months because of the dispute between parents and the school over responsibility.
At the last moment of her life, Xu Yushu expressed her love for the girl she liked in her suicide note: "I love you" is the shortest story. These three words, subject and object, time, place, people, events and emotions are all included. Forgive me for being clumsy and never saying it completely, so now is the last time. I love you now and always, no matter where.
At the last moment of his life, Xu Yushu recorded his life dream in his suicide note and said: I want to be a scholar. The scholar dares to endure, and the scholar hits the floor when he speaks. Unfortunately, thinking and writing are the most important things. Facing the increasingly heavy past, complicated present and illusory future-I am not qualified to bear them.
In the shopping list of Double Eleven, I bought instant noodles and drinks, game cards and walkman. In addition to what most boys of the same age will buy, I also bought ladies' long straight hair covers, tube top underwear, long-legged socks and sexy underwear.
The former endows him with the same innate biological gender as most of his peers, while the latter challenges most people's highly dualistic gender cognition.
So this transsexual genius boy jumped from the fifth floor, and finally his ribs were broken, his lungs were bruised, his respiratory function was lost, and he went to the hospital.
I can't breathe is about his last feelings. The only good thing is that he no longer has to experience this sense of hypoxia and suffocation.
According to a survey, suicide is the second leading cause of death between the ages of 15 and 24.
At the end of their lives, these teenagers and young people who committed suicide experienced an overwhelming emotional surge, which exceeded his emotional load and led him to choose to end his life in extreme despair, fear and isolation.
Many people who tried to commit suicide later said that they didn't really want to die, and their desire to survive was still strong, but they just couldn't see other options.
The motive of suicide is mostly despair.
What caused such a strong despair? What causes this feeling of no way out?
Psychologists believe that the social environment is like a goalkeeper, which can prevent people who it thinks are not suitable for these environments from joining.
Because they feel excluded from this environment, because they feel that there is no place to live, they choose to leave forever.
I think, if we don't devote ourselves to cultivating a more inclusive expression space, a more tolerant social soil and a more understanding cultural environment, then Yu Xu's death will remind us that we don't deserve genius.
Just like my last article about Yang li Ping, some readers' comments made me deeply feel this sense of suffocation and realized that we are not worthy of Yang li Ping.
Because of this, I insist more and more that to build a better society, the most important thing is that everyone learns to take diversity and inclusiveness as the basis of building their own values.
Respect humanity and diversity, understand that everyone comes from different backgrounds and families, has experienced things you can't imagine, and has a life you haven't experienced.
Only in this way can you take off colored glasses and biased glasses and see the real world.
You may not know that 80% disabled people hardly appear in our lives. Do you know why? Because we see their difficulties, but encourage them to be strong, we see their discomfort, but choose to ignore it.
Our social culture still treats disabled people like this, not to mention those ethnic minorities and minorities.
Don't say that life is hard, life is complicated and survival is not easy. These are not excuses for you to embarrass others, complicate things and isolate the minority.
The difficulty of life is to remind us to be considerate and help each other, not to embarrass each other.
When you don't like someone's lifestyle, but her life doesn't affect you or endanger society, please educate yourself. If you don't like it, it may be that your narrow cognition can't keep up with the times.
When you don't like someone's special hobby, it is determined by his innate genes and acquired self-preference. As long as it doesn't threaten society, please be polite and shut up.
You are not a standard template, you are not born in a perfect mold, and there is no reason for everyone to live in your way.
In other words, even if you come from the most perfect mold in this society, you should understand that some people are not defined by any mold.
Text | Paris Night Rose
Figure | Network