Philosophers and psychologists can trace back to 1972. Psychologists Shelley Duvall and Robert Wicklund put forward the theory of self-cognition. They put forward: when paying attention to ourselves, compare and evaluate our current behavior with our internal standards and values, and be an objective self-evaluator (I should/shouldn't do this, I know/don't know that this is my own will ...).
Nobel Prize winner Daniel Gorman believes that self-awareness is the key cornerstone of emotional intelligence. It consists of emotional cognition, accurate self-evaluation and self-confidence. In other words, it emphasizes the profound understanding of its own value, the root of its own character, and the active management of its own thoughts, emotions and behaviors; It gives us the ability of initiative, truthfulness, openness and trust; It helps us maintain mental health and a positive outlook on life.
1. Emotional cognition
This is an ability to understand your emotions. People with this ability will:
-Know when you feel this emotion and why;
-Understand the relationship between your emotions and your thoughts and actions, including what you say;
-Understand how your feelings will affect your performance and guide your personal values;
-better understand the problem and take corresponding actions to solve it.
2. Accurate self-assessment
Self-analysis is the key to accurate self-assessment. People who are good at self-evaluation not only have a good understanding of their own strengths and weaknesses, but also know their available resources and limitations, and always constantly reflect and improve from experience and feedback.
It is found that sometimes it is not easy to find one's own shortcomings, make an objective evaluation and get real and constructive feedback. Especially when you are in a high position or have a successful career. The "blind spots" to be avoided are:
-set unrealistic goals for yourself or your organization, and have unrealistic ideas about how to complete the task.
-Blind ambition is always "right".
-aversion to feedback is not conducive to objective evaluation of yourself.
Step 3 be confident
The last field of self-knowledge is self-confidence, that is, knowing the value and ability of self. Self-confidence is very important for achieving good work performance and career success; It is also an important skill to stand out from the crowd. People with strong self-confidence can usually:
Self-expression is very good and is often considered attractive.
Be brave to express your opinions, and don't follow others' advice, although it may be unpopular.
-Be able to make decisions according to your own values.
The fact is that self-awareness is so important, why can't we have a stronger self-awareness? The answer is:
-Many times, it's just that we "don't deliberately" observe ourselves or "unconsciously" feel what we are doing, how we feel, what is happening inside ourselves or what is happening around us;
-Psychologists Matthew Killingsworth and Dan Gilbert found that we are in a state of "automatic driving" or "unconsciousness" almost half the time, and our thoughts are elsewhere, not here and now;
-All kinds of cognitive biases deceive us, help us find reasons to support them, and affect our ability to "know ourselves accurately";
Treat yourself with other people's eyes;
-Different matters in life need to present and use different aspects of self-cognition.
Daniel Kahneman once said: Our feelings about experiences may be very different from those we remember, with only a 50% correlation. Although we may not notice this difference most of the time, it will have a great influence on our decision.
There are many ways to further cultivate and improve self-awareness. Here are five I recommend that I think are the best:
1. Mindfulness practice
This is the key to self-knowledge. Through the practice of mindfulness, you can spend more time with yourself and observe what is happening inside and around you. The form is not limited to sitting, but can be walking, lying down before going to bed, etc. As long as you really pay attention to your inner state, you can practice mindfulness at any time.
record
Writing down is to let our thoughts flow to the pen, which not only helps to clarify our thoughts, but also makes us feel connected and consistent with ourselves. Research shows that writing down what we are grateful for, what we are trying to do, and recording our inner state (what we are feeling, what we are saying to ourselves, what we are observing). This helps to increase happiness and satisfaction, and you may be surprised at what you write down!
3. Be a good listener
Listening is the basis of ensuring your physical and mental presence and paying attention to others' emotions. When you become a good listener, you will also listen to your inner voice better, become your best friend and live in peace with yourself.
Get feedback
Whether at work or in life, ask for feedback openly. Although a single feedback may be inaccurate or biased, true and complete feedback can help us find blind spots and examine ourselves comprehensively from different angles. Then, consciously try to develop or strengthen what you want to strengthen.
Conduct a psychological test
The most famous ones are Myers-Briggs Scale (MBTI) and predictive index. They can accurately describe the similarities of a group of people and their characteristics relative to others. It can help testers better understand their true selves and improve their self-awareness.
Self-awareness is a complex and rich topic, and it may take us a lifetime to know ourselves. However, when our self-awareness is improved a little, we will know ourselves better, and our ability to cope with change will be improved a little, thus creating a better life. Perhaps self-awareness is to understand and become your own life journey, which is worth exploring.
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