Women, especially high-quality women, attach importance to men in marriage and put them in the same position, such as economy, family, education, companionship, life interest, taste and appearance. However, all the conditions point to one point-safety.
What "security" do women want? I'm afraid they can't tell for themselves. But here, you can give a standard answer.
The so-called "sense of security" means "the ability to protect the safety of mammalian females and raise their young", and all the abilities that can protect females from safely reproducing and raising their young are what women call "sense of security".
In the evolution of mammals, raising young is a very heavy and troublesome thing, and we naked apes, unlike all mammals, have an evolutionary defect. Anyone who has read Teacher Zhao Zhongxiang's Animal World will know that almost all the young mammals can quickly enter the mature stage and have basic fighting ability. Simba in "The Lion King" staged a Hamlet, a grassland version of the court drama in the animal world, but everyone paid attention to the details of the film. How long did Simba last from exile to regaining power, one in the rainy season? In less than a year, Simba was still a little cute who could be bullied in the first half of the year. After a dry season, he has the fighting capacity to compete with adult lions. His wife, Nana, beat the hyena like a melon and cut vegetables, and so did the food. The antelope was born for a few months, and the lion broke his leg. This is the growth period of normal mammals.
But we naked apes are different. Our cub period is very long. It takes ten years to develop, and then it takes five or six years to fully develop. In this decade, most human cubs have no fighting ability, which is a gift from nature to the jungle society and a walking snack.
Based on this, when women choose a spouse, the most important thing is the sense of security. This choice is written into the genes. In modern society, many young women even choose Dink instead of having children. However, this social phenomenon appeared too late and too short to be written into human genes, which is not comparable to the genes formed by Homo sapiens after hundreds of thousands of years of evolution.
Women will constantly test men's patience, sense of responsibility for "family", ability to get food and ability to resist stress, which are summarized as the "sense of security" of human society. This sense of security can be divided into three types, that is, women's choice of spouse is the most important.
These three are:
1, Yan value: Sister loves Joe.
2. Talent: Talent is a person's future wealth.
3. Emotion: How much love has left your name?
4. Economy: Dong Su
1. Yan value: Sister loves Joe.
"Women are real lower-body animals." -Appreciation Jun
Men always reprimand women for worshipping money with indignation. In fact, money is only an unimportant link in women's choice system, or a backward link. Matter is nothing more than a foundation. In fact, many women choose economically superior objects, more because in the long-term social evolution, women are in an economically weak position and unable to support themselves. After entering the modern society, when more and more women start to become middle class and can stand on their own feet, they will naturally follow their own hearts.
Yan value, for women, is not just Yan value itself, it means more things. We mentioned in "Under what conditions do high-quality men above middle class pay more attention to women" that for men, high face value is a luxury, but for women, high face value is often not a luxury. High-value men are often men with more symmetrical faces and figures, and their height is often higher, which means that in the long evolutionary history of women, such men are stronger and safer. This is the most primitive definition of security. The most handsome and strong leader wins the favor of the female ape and gets the mating right, which is much earlier than the richer man, so the woman is the real lower body animal.
Therefore, the factors of women's mate choice are actually related to "security", but the so-called "face value" here will be divided into two aspects.
? Tall and strong
Yan Yan is very handsome
Being strong and tall means that such men are more likely to win in male competition and have the ability to protect women, while a handsome and symmetrical face means being healthy, not easy to get sick and having the ability to protect women. The former is offensive, while the latter is defensive. Generally, the younger a woman is, the worse her economic strength is, and the more inclined she is to choose a man with high face value. The older a woman is, the more inclined she is to choose a tall and strong man, while women above the middle class are more and more enterprising and choose a higher man.
At the same time, tall and handsome also means better genes, which means the face value and good health of the next generation.
2. Talent: Talent is a person's future wealth.
"The most beautiful dowry is talent." -Balzac
Compared with wealth, wealth is the present money, while talents are the future wealth and a choice of wealth. Because women are more vulnerable to public opinion, it is often safer and more secure to choose talents. Especially after women have economic strength, more and more people will choose talents.
Talent also means better genes, which is your hunting ability in modern society. This is the same as the strength of primitive society, and it is also the foundation of modern society. In today's men's competitions, it is impossible for men to pick up spears and bows and arrows to fight like in the jungle, but to put on suits and walk into the forest of reinforced concrete buildings to give full play to their brains and wisdom. Therefore, today's high-quality men do not have much wealth, but how much wealth they will have.
Especially middle-class women in their twenties and thirties and above often receive higher education at the same time. This sense of superiority in IQ and education makes it difficult for them to choose men with lower education. If you insist that the rich second generation are often highly educated, then this argument is meaningless. But facing a man with high education and low assets and a local tyrant with high education and low assets, most high-quality women with high education will decisively choose the former.
In fact, among the high-quality women I have met, there is widespread admiration for academic qualifications. Faced with a dilemma, even people with high education are not as good as those with similar economic strength. They will choose people with high education.
There are also many educated women who choose unmarried, infertile and oocyte cryopreservation. When they choose IVF, the so-called high-quality men, in addition to their face value, are academic qualifications, which is a feature of women's mate selection. They can choose not to have children, but when choosing a spouse, they will inevitably be influenced by reproductive choice and choose men with better genes.
3. Emotion: How much love has left your name?
"Only a truly happy man can bring real happiness to women"-"PS: I love you"
Emotional value is a problem that girls love to give men. Whenever they enter the testing period, they will frequently test men's emotional value or stress resistance. And often under the banner of "love", we demand so-called "high-quality companionship", so-called "heart-and-soul treatment" and so-called "love".
In fact, there is no such thing as "love". Their so-called "love" is actually asking each other to provide "emotional value". This is a stress test that women often take before choosing a partner, especially a spouse. These tests include, but are not limited to, prohibiting playing games, being on call, commuting to and from work, and tolerating some small tempers. Even women with ability and financial strength will inevitably take such tests.
Because you play games, you are not self-motivated and impatient, and the signal to her is that you are weak in pressure resistance, impatient and have a bad sense of responsibility. The gene will tell her not to give you a monkey, not to give you a monkey, not to give you a monkey.
If none of the above, we need to consider the "advantages" such as strong tolerance, tolerance of complexity and tolerance of pressure, which is what we usually call "honest people". Such an upright person means that women can provide meticulous care for women during childbirth, which is the reason why women should "treat them wholeheartedly", because she inadvertently "check-ups" you, and all kinds of "works" are designed to provide emotional value after childbirth. After the baby is born, men with high emotional value are willing to share the responsibility of raising children, even though they may not.
Therefore, when choosing a spouse, women will constantly conduct frequent stress tests on men with poor economic conditions, while men with high quality will automatically be exempted from the test because they are born with a sense of security. Similarly, why women like nagging is also a test.
Fortunately, most high-quality women above the middle class pay more and more attention to the emotional value that men can provide because of their economic strength, which is often a scarce product among men, because high-quality men and rich men are often not the providers of emotional value, which gives many men who can provide emotional value many opportunities.
4. Economy: Oriental Diet and Western Accommodation
"I want my boss to eat, but I want to stay in La Liga." -"Literary Party"
Of course, the rich second generation need not be depressed. Superior material conditions are still an important condition for high-quality women to choose a spouse, but the ranking has dropped seriously.
For women, providing superior material conditions is still a part of "security". Even many high-quality women above the middle class would like their other half to have this ability. After all, double insurance is much better than single insurance.
For a man, it is also why the rich second generation with the same personality as you will make her feel safe, because "his ability to get food" is much stronger than yours, because food shortage is a normal state of any mammal and human in the long evolution years, so this ability ranks first among all security factors. Men with high economic status naturally feel safe. In the eyes of women, it is safe to give birth to his cubs at least, especially during the long reproductive period. Women can't work, and raising children is a heavy job, so a good economy is still an important part of a sense of security, because after all, children are broken money and beasts that swallow gold.
This is the true nature of the sense of security that women want. Yes, I know what you are going to say. Your ex may never show the idea of having children, yes, but you are lucky. As long as it takes millions of years, maybe women may evolve genes that choose men without "security" and "economic status". Congratulations, after millions of years, you may be fair to the rich second generation.
This ability, which used to be hunting ability, is now a man's economic status. When women's economic status improves, women enter male competition, and their inherent wealth advantage is seriously weakened.
Women are different from men. All women's "mate selection" is related to "security", which comes from the security of "future cubs". Although more and more high-quality women choose not to have children, their concept of mate selection is still affected by this. Face value and talent are genetic guarantee, emotional value is the need of raising children, and economy is the guarantee of raising children. Therefore, they can give women "multiple dimensions"
Women, especially high-quality women, value a man with multi-dimensional balance more. To put it simply, a man with 80 points in all subjects is far better than a partial student with 60 points in one subject.
References:
"1". "Men are from Mars and women are from Venus."
"2". "Intimacy"
"3". Developmental Psychology