For the vast majority of treasure mothers, the baby from conception to birth does not mean the end. After the baby is born, there is an endless heart. What makes the treasure moms feel tired most is that this kind of worry is not only reflected in the baby himself, but also carefully prepared to fight with the in-laws.
In particular, the "second-generation relatives" of the elderly often "decompose" their best plans for scientific parenting in the name of being good to their children: clothes on roadside stalls, snacks in maternal and child stores, and online celebrity toys seen in the live broadcast room. I bought a bunch, regardless of comfort, safety and practicality.
In the face of her mother-in-law to buy gifts, Ma Bao often difficult to say:
If the mother-in-law is disappointed with her, it is inevitable to quarrel.
Stop it: the hidden dangers of children's growth are hidden in these gifts.
Ma Bao can only "turn a blind eye".
Some time ago, my friend Jia was in a bad mood. Only when I asked, I realized that the problem appeared in many toys that my mother-in-law bought out of "kindness", regardless of whether they were suitable for children or not. It was purely an "IQ tax".
But in Xiao Jia's view, this little snare drum is "dangerous", surrounded by some sharp bumps, and even ordinary drumsticks may stab children.
Xiao Jia didn't say nothing, and the scene suddenly cooled down. My mother-in-law didn't speak at that time and kept pulling her face.
Xiao Jia saw that the drums were covered with sharp bumps, fearing that the children would scratch their skin while playing. After talking to her mother-in-law, her mother-in-law stopped talking and kept pulling her face.
After a while, the mother-in-law gave her children a little snare drum, and while teaching them how to do it, she said to herself, "My granddaughter is smart, so we don't have to hit her in the face. Let's knock on the door. " Xiao Jia has no taste in his heart, and it's hard to say much.
Just yesterday, Xiao Jia came home from work and found that her mother-in-law bought a "walker" for her daughter, who was running around happily in the walker. Jony J quickly stopped: "Mom, the walker is easy for children to bend their legs. Some experts have banned children from using it."
Not to be outdone, her mother-in-law returned to Jony J:
In fact, Xiao Jia understands that her mother-in-law loves her children and buys them toys. However, the older generation is stubborn and thinks that it is most important for children to have fun. Mother-in-law generally sneers at modern scientific parenting methods. Coupled with this "natural contradiction" between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, mother-in-law thinks that not letting her daughter-in-law buy this and do that is "picking things up every day."
"Advise each other" and "argue with reason" are not suitable for solving the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Ma Bao needs to adopt some "special" methods to make her mother-in-law accept her parenting philosophy.
Idea 1: "Look at the essence through the phenomenon" and interpret the mother-in-law's "truth"
There are some obviously controversial children's toys that my mother-in-law will still buy for her children. Ma Bao should calm down and analyze what her mother-in-law really wants.
In most cases, mother-in-law will not buy things on impulse. As far as the scooter that mother-in-law often buys is concerned, they hope that the baby can free his hands under the protection of the scooter, so that they can spare more time for work.
After understanding her mother-in-law's true feelings, Xiao Jia can take the initiative to speak her mind for her mother-in-law. She first explained that the walker can help her mother-in-law to take care of her baby, and then added the walker, which is not good for the child's health and should be used less.
Mother-in-law who feels "understood" will naturally agree with Jony J's "suggestion", and this controversial issue will be solved.
Mind 2: Grasp the shopping psychology of mother-in-law and adopt "answer first and then refuse"
In fact, some mothers-in-law frequently buy toys for their children only because they want to show their love for their children, and the focus of frequent buying behavior is "buying" rather than "practicality".
Ma Bao can grasp her mother-in-law's psychology of "simply being nice" and adopt the method of "responding first and then refusing". First of all, I affirmed what my mother-in-law bought and praised her mother-in-law for taking care of her children. After the mother-in-law satisfied her vanity, she used it for her children several times out of novelty, and then she forgot it.
At this time, Ma Bao can put away toys that are not suitable for children, which will not only satisfy her mother-in-law, but also protect her children's health.
Taking care of the baby is a very tiring job, and the mother-in-law will be dissatisfied because of fatigue after taking care of the baby for a long time. Usually, my mother-in-law is embarrassed to show it in person. If the backlog is long, she will haggle over trifles.
When Ma Bao saw that her mother-in-law was in a bad mood for a while, she could take advantage of the holiday to take care of the children, let her mother-in-law go out for a trip to relax, and give her appropriate financial support. After the mother-in-law is in a good mood, it will be much happier to help the baby.
It is not easy for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to get along. Ma Bao should use "calculation" more and be a daughter-in-law with high emotional intelligence.
Ps: The pictures in this article are all from the Internet. If there is infringement, please delete it.