Don't let negative emotions affect you.
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Don't wait for time to wash away, it's too long, take the initiative! Don't let negative emotions erode your attention and affect your brain thinking. You will go through five stages: denial, anger, negotiation, despair and acceptance.
First, in this process, we should be alert to three psychological effects!
1, Zegnay effect
It means suddenly ending a relationship and obsessing about unfinished business.
2. Loss of blindness effect
When you are about to lose something, or a person, you will ignore all the shortcomings of TA and all the harm that TA has brought you. You only think about the advantages of TA, and all you think about are good memories.
Self-abuse pleasure effect
Self-abuse pleasure effect
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3. Self-abuse pleasure effect
Self-abuse can also bring pleasure. Physiologically speaking, self-abuse can lead to the production of dopamine in the human body. You will like to fall into this sad state and comfort yourself that nothing has changed and TA is still around.
But after a long time, you will be controlled by your emotions and it will be difficult to get out. We are all slaves of hormones, so we are easily influenced by emotions and feelings and make wrong decisions. How to deal with this emotion?
How to deal with this emotion?
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Second, how to deal with this emotion?
1. Deliberate training
You think about these useless things every day, leading to depression, bad mood, loss of interest in everything, inability to concentrate on anything, and then a vicious circle, nothing.
So, if necessary, completely delete the other party's contact information. If you can do it without prying into each other and affecting your emotions, you don't have to do this step.
2. Self-abuse protection
Exercise, which is used to control the body, and sadness will produce labamin, which will make you unable to extricate yourself. Polyamines produced by high-intensity fitness can be enjoyed more.
How to deal with this emotion?
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You can divert your attention by running, swimming, cycling, jujitsu, dancing, etc. And I must be so tired that I fell asleep when I lay down.
More importantly, if you do everything seriously, it will bring you a sense of accomplishment. This is delayed gratification, a self-reward mechanism, and in the process, you will also experience pleasure.
3. Positive psychological suggestion
Choose one thing and continue to study hard. Such as speech, vocal music, cooking, painting, etc. Don't leave your brain idle.
Respect yourself
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To cope with the Chaney effect, use learning skills instead of things you can't continue to complete, such as your unfinished relationship. If you occupy your brain with this thing, you won't have time to think.
What will happen if you don't do this? A lot of paranoia, such as mental internal friction, once you are free, you will think:
TA, do you have a new lover?
TA suddenly asks you, do you still like you?
Whether it's diet and people, or things and the environment, I'm far away from everything that keeps me away from the truth.
I used to call this "selfish pursuit of health", but today I understand that this is "self-love".
Analysis and reflection
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At the same time, ask yourself and do a good job in psychological construction (analysis and introspection)
1. Analyze the problem. What do you like about this man?
Material, character, social status, good for you, knowledge?
If another person had these, would you like another person? Do you like what this person has or who he is? Be honest with yourself and think about this problem.
2. Why are you afraid of breaking up?
Do you regard feelings as your lifeline? It is dangerous to entrust your happiness and everything to another person.
Are you financially independent? Can you go on living alone without him? Do you love yourself? Are you always eager for recognition and love from the outside world?
From the victim's point of view
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If you don't have the ability to love yourself and have no energy in your heart, it is also dangerous to need another person to replenish energy to live.
Restrain your unwillingness and control the rest of your life. What you want to strive for is that you are really happy and have the ability to make yourself happy, rather than believing that another person can make you happy.
Third, transform yourself from the victim's point of view.
Meditate to yourself before going to bed every day: Although I am very sad now, I can choose to make myself happy. Although I lost him, I will meet someone who really loves my voice in the future.
After breaking up, it is recommended to delete TA and black TA, because the relationship has ended. Keeping your contact information will only make you want to spy on your big life from time to time. If TA has a new lover, your heart will be hurt again, unless you no longer care about TA.
Chaplin said in When I Really Began to Love Myself that this passage is very good: When I really began to love myself, I began to stay away from all unhealthy things.
label
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Maybe, you don't love TA at all, just don't want to. You need each other so much that you need them to come back and love you.
Don't ruminate. After bad things happen, you can't help thinking about chewing details repeatedly, because you are immersed in negativity and pain.
We should really introspect and avoid into the pit stepping on the thunder by summing up experience.
Introspection is like this. Things have already happened. I understand that I had limitations in dealing with problems in the past. What can I do now to make myself better?
Ruminating thinking is like this: Why do I always encounter such a thing? TA, why do you treat me like this? Am I too bad?
Introspection is constructive, and rumination is emotional self-attack. Change this way of thinking and make your thinking more positive.