Yesterday, I said that it is love to understand by accommodating and then establish a connection. On the contrary, love cannot. Being rejected, being denied and cutting off contact is hate.
For example, a boy confesses to a girl he likes, and the other party can't accept it. He laughed at my love behavior and tried to cut us off. Boys' hearts will change from love to deep hatred, pointing to each other and even extending to the whole women's group. I have had personal experience. I didn't want to get in touch with any opposite sex at all during that time. When this hatred is directed at myself, I feel guilty and ashamed. I bowed my head and showed you kindness, in exchange for rejection and denial. This kind of frustration will deeply dampen a person's narcissism. If the liner is not strong enough to bear this death energy, it will make people fall into depression.
Combined with my recent observation at work, I found a phenomenon. Our work belongs to the nature of sales, and we often encounter rejection and rejection from customers. I found that single colleagues are generally not easy to resolve this rejection and denial, and their emotions are prone to ups and downs. Colleagues who have a stable love relationship or get married can control their emotions and resolve this hatred relatively well. I am single myself, and I really have a deep hatred after being rejected by my clients many times. Will complain that the quality of customers is not high, today's bad luck, this is only the performance in the work, in other aspects of life is also prone to hatred, this hatred is easy to point to the object and yourself; Teacher Wu said that it doesn't matter, no one can live independently. I think the establishment and disconnection of a relationship is a manifestation of a person's quality of life. In reality, good work performance, colleague relationship, friend relationship and family relationship are all very healthy, so good relationship is an important dimension to improve one's happiness.
After "hate" comes into being, it will arouse our inner aggression. When we hate a person, we will use bold words to express our dissatisfaction, and in serious cases, we will use our bodies to attack. This reminds me of the situation after Meng Yun and Jia Lin broke up in Ex 3. When Meng Yun left KTV to visit the sad Lin Jia, what we saw was that she was taken away by another man. At that time, Meng Yun gritted his teeth, that is, the obvious desire for love was rejected. Then Meng Yunhui got drunk and began to attack Jia Lin with words. Although he sent it, Yu Fei took it back in time. Jia Lin wanted to send a message after seeing it, but he also withdrew. So I missed an opportunity to try to repair the relationship. In fact, love or hate is a necessary condition for establishing a relationship. Once a relationship is established, it is like an independent existence. He has his own life cycle. The more you love, the longer you live, the more you hate, and the shorter you live. In the early stage of the establishment of love relationship, you have been very kind to me, tolerant and understanding each other, and in the later stage, you refused, didn't understand, or even cut off. Back to the plot of the movie, Meng Yun can't understand the deep anxiety behind Jia Lin, can't accommodate Jia Lin's seemingly excessive demands, and can't see Meng Yun's efforts and efforts to repair the relationship. She rejected Meng Yun's way of expressing love, so they have been expressing hatred and have never seen the two sides trying to change. For example, why can't Jia Lin take the initiative to apologize to Meng Yun, and why can't Meng Yun do what he promised? This relationship is going to be killed by mistake, and the lifeless relationship is over, which is good for both sides, because death means the beginning of a new life, because people are destined to live in a relationship, so Jia Lin and badon min are bound to establish new feelings.
Harvest: When we start not understanding each other, can't accept each other's behavior, start rejecting each other, and even want to break off the relationship, it shows that the proportion of hatred in the relationship is getting higher and higher. At this time, we must be vigilant and take the initiative to learn to tolerate each other's anxiety with love. Even if we can't do anything, let the other party know that his anxiety has been seen by me, and my goal is to strengthen and repair our relationship.