Abstract: Marx once said: "The essence of man is not an abstract thing inherent in a single person. In reality, it is the sum of all social relations. " Just like the interpersonal relationship of college students, we can study their problems as a whole, but compared with the mental health of individual college students, their concepts and views on interpersonal relationship are different, and the main factors affecting interpersonal communication are subjective and objective factors. From the perspective of mental health, the main reasons that affect interpersonal communication barriers are cognitive factors, emotional factors and economic factors. To solve these obstacles, we must analyze these factors and create new paths, which depends not only on the change of educational concepts, but also on the reform of educational and teaching activities. We should also strengthen the theoretical study of interpersonal relationship and change our concepts; Pay attention to the cultivation of interpersonal skills and reshape personality. Good interpersonal relationship is not only an important symbol of college students' mental health level and social adaptability, but also the cornerstone of their future career development and happiness.
Keywords: interpersonal psychology of college students
First, the definition of interpersonal relationship
Sociology defines interpersonal relationship as a kind of social relationship established by people in the process of production or life activities. Psychology defines interpersonal relationship as the direct psychological connection established between people in communication. Chinese often refers to the general term of interpersonal communication, also known as "interpersonal communication", including kinship, friends, schoolmates (classmates), teachers and students, employment, comrades-in-arms, colleagues and leaders.
Interpersonal relationship has different definitions, and the most representative ones are:
1. The cognitive relationship between people, such as attraction or rejection, cooperation or competition, leadership or obedience.
2. It refers to social contact with someone within a certain period of time.
3. Interaction between people, the process of mutual communication, through the mutual communication of thoughts, feelings and behaviors.
4. Interaction between individuals. The broader interpersonal relationship includes cultural system, model and process, and it is also a social relationship.
5. Interpersonal relationship can be expressed through the thoughts, feelings and behaviors between people in a period of time.
The interactive relationship of attraction, exclusion, cooperation, competition, leadership and obedience, in a broad sense, also includes the cultural system.
Degree model and social relations.
6. Interpersonal relationship is the direct psychological connection established between people in communication.
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Second, the psychological effect in the process of interpersonal communication
1, first cause effect
In interpersonal activities, we will attach great importance to the information we first come into contact with (including appearance, language, manners, etc. ), but the information behind it is not so important. This is called the first cause effect. The first cause effect enlightens us that on the one hand, we should leave a good first impression on others, and on the other hand, we should correct our incomplete understanding of others' first impression in future communication.
2. recency effect
Recency effect refers to the influence of recent impressions on our understanding. The impression left by the latest contact is often the deepest. Generally speaking, recency effect plays an important role in the communication between acquaintances, so we should pay attention to leaving a good recent impression.
3. Halo effect
Also known as halo effect, it means that in the process of communication, we often generalize from one advantage of the other party to other related aspects, and form a complete impression from incomplete information. The halo effect is often more obvious for both parties in love, just like the so-called beauty is in the eyes of lovers.
4. Projection effect
Projection effect means that in the process of communication, we always assume that others have the same tendency as ourselves, that is, we project our own characteristics on others, thus forming an impression on others. Sometimes, our guesses about others reveal ourselves invisibly. Therefore, don't blindly guess the shortcomings of others, don't be so narrow-minded, and don't be a gentleman with a villain's heart.
5. Stereotype effect
Stereotype effect is a relatively fixed, generalized and general view of a certain kind of thing or person in society. In interpersonal communication, we sometimes impose the overall view of a certain kind of characters on every individual of that kind, while ignoring the individual characteristics. Stereotype effect is beneficial to the overall evaluation, but it will bias the individual evaluation. For example, students from rural areas think that students from cities are knowledgeable, while students from cities think that students from rural areas are narrow-minded.
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Third, the principle of establishing good interpersonal relationships.
1, respect principle
Respect includes self-esteem and respect for others. Self-esteem means respecting yourself in all kinds of situations, maintaining your dignity and not giving up on yourself. Respecting others means respecting others' living habits, hobbies, personalities and values. Only by respecting others can you get their respect.
2, the principle of sincerity
Only by being honest with others and lacking talents can we produce emotional voices and gain true friendship. No one likes hypocrisy, and how much rhetoric will be defeated.
3, the principle of tolerance
In interpersonal communication, some unpleasant things will inevitably happen, and even some contradictions and conflicts will occur. At this time, we should learn to tolerate others and not haggle over every ounce. This is called taking a step back and broadening the horizon. People don't attack me, I don't attack. The first person to attack me, concede three points. Don't get into interpersonal disputes because of trivial matters, as we will waste a lot of time and become selfish and insignificant.
4, the principle of mutually beneficial cooperation
Mutual benefit means that both sides can meet each other's needs and get each other's rewards at the same time. Interpersonal communication is always a two-way choice and two-way interaction. You've been here for a long time. In the process of communication, the two sides should care about and love each other, not only consider common interests, but also deepen their feelings.
5. Understanding principle
Understanding is a necessary prerequisite for the success of interpersonal communication. Understanding is to really understand each other's situation, mood, likes and dislikes, needs and so on. And can care about each other from the heart. There is a saying that "a thousand dollars is easy to get, but a bosom friend is hard to find". The sea of people is boundless, and bosom friends are precious! An understanding person is always welcome.
6, the principle of equality
Treat people equally, don't love the rich and hate the poor, and don't treat them differently because of their origins, status and authority.