When we enter adolescence, we will encounter many temptations, full of sexual information, but lacking correct judgment and guidance. 70% of the Internet we are keen on is related to sex. If you don't study sexual psychology, sexual morality and sexual knowledge, you may fall into the "Huang Chao" and ruin your life.
The most striking feature of adolescence is the contradiction between physical maturity marked by sexual development and psychological immaturity marked by the internal conflict between self-identity and role confusion. Its manifestations are: (1) unstable psychological state; (2) The cognitive structure is imperfect; (3) It is easily influenced by negative and unhealthy culture in society. This leads to great psychological pressure, which in turn leads to sexual psychological crisis.
Activity: (1) Ask the students to pose. Which pose do you think is the most beautiful?
(2) Please shake hands, say hello, hug and kiss with the opposite classmates.
(1) What is puberty?
Adolescence is also called adolescence, and the World Health Organization (WHO) defines the age of adolescence as 10- 19 years old. Due to the influence of sex hormones, physiological and psychological changes will take place sharply, and they are in inner contradictions, confusion, curiosity, anxiety and impulsiveness.
Adolescence can be divided into three stages:
Before puberty: 10- 13 years old, the fastest stage of human growth and development, and women have menstruation (grade one and grade two in junior high school).
Mid-adolescence: 14- 17 years old, characterized by obvious development of reproductive organs and secondary sexual characteristics, and mature development of sexual organs and secondary sexual characteristics (grade three to grade three).
Late adolescence: 18-20 years old, physiological changes gradually slow down, children develop into youth, girls grow into women (university).
The main signs of adolescence: sexual development and sexual maturity
Activity: Each student draws the most beautiful flowers on the paper with colored pens.
Students interact and the teacher asks: What did you draw? Why do you like it? Students share their feelings.
(2) What is "sex"?
Students, what do you think of when you see the word "sex"?
Kissing, sexiness, sex, menstruation, pregnancy, abortion. ...
Without love closely related to sex, "love" is the most sacred and noble feeling between the two sexes, and sex without love is a body without soul.
Sex is the bride's white wedding dress, the groom's solemn dress, the oath of never leaving in a solemn church, and the diamond ring on the ring finger of husband and wife to witness eternal love.
③ Sex is neither obscene nor sinful. This is natural and wonderful. The scene of sex between men and women in pornographic movies is quite different from reality. Those things are rubbish, and we should stay as far away from it as possible. Sex itself is not rubbish or dirty, and sex is beautiful.
The sexual relationship between men and women is one of the most intimate relationships in human history. Two different people are deeply involved in each other both physically and psychologically. This is a matter of life dignity, and it is by no means a clean shot. If someone downplays it, if it is not extremely stupid, it must have ulterior motives.
⑤ Sex is the torch in the sun, and it is the best gift that God gave Adam and Eve at the beginning of life creation, but it can only be opened in advance at the right time. From the perspective of a person's growth, rational choice of "waiting" is the best way.
To this end, the United States launched the "Waiting for True Love" campaign among middle school students.
Life education in adolescence
What kind of education is sex education? It is life education.
The origin of life-mom and dad make love, dad's sperm and mom's eggs combine, and a new life is born. The organ that produces sperm in men is called testis, and the organ that produces eggs in women is called ovary, both of which are components of human organs.
The gestation of life-the fetus grows up in the mother's womb, and people often say that it is conceived in October and delivered once.
The birth of life-the baby is born from the mother's vagina.
After sperm is injected into the vagina, thousands of sperm will compete, and only one sperm enters the egg can win the final victory. So each of us is the essence of a thousand choices.
As far as each individual's life is concerned, it is short-lived and insignificant in the vast universe, but the value and personality embodied by each person are absolutely unique, and each person's life is unique and irreplaceable. If you lose your life, then you will lose everything. Life is sacred. The reason why our world is so lovely, so beautiful and full of vitality is because we have countless lives with personality and aura.
3 Physiological changes in adolescence
The most obvious changes are the acceleration of bone growth (body shape change) and the development of secondary sexual characteristics (primary sexual characteristics are the differences between men and women after birth). With the change of gonadal activity, the endocrine is vigorous, and girls appear:
(1)10-10/year-old breast develops and pubic hair appears.
(2) The pelvis is widened and menstrual cramps occur.
(3) 13- 16 years old is close to adults since childhood.
(4) Strong sexual feelings and fantasies
(5) The frequency of masturbation (masturbation) and masturbation behavior increases.
Menstruation, the mature performance of adolescent women
Activity: Ask a student who has had her period to talk about her feelings at that time.
Observing this classmate's expression, from initial pain, fear and confusion to shy beauty, is something to celebrate.
Hold a celebration ceremony with your classmates.
During menstruation, due to various factors, such as pelvic congestion, changes in hormone secretion, psychological discomfort, there will be mild abdominal and waist pain, backache, mild diarrhea, constipation and other reactions. Some people will also feel tired, irritable, emotionally unstable, dizzy, breast swelling, etc. This is a normal physiological reaction and generally will not affect their study and life.
4 psychological changes in adolescence
The biggest psychological change is the emergence of sexual desire. Sexual impulse is a normal physiological and psychological response in adolescence under the action of sex hormones and external sexual stimulation, and there are various psychological activities related to sexual desire.
For example:
(1) When the physiological development is gradually mature, female students want to be both gentle and graceful and plump. If they think they are short and thin, they will feel uneasy and inferior. Very sensitive to genital development.
(2) Some female students feel that they lack ladylike temperament and have the idea of "overcompensating". In order to make themselves like ladies, they began to change themselves in clothes, hairstyles, jewelry and manners.
(3) Emotionally, sometimes I will be ecstatic and sometimes I will lose my temper. With their own growth, girls become tender and affectionate, more considerate, more sensitive and more concerned about what others say.
(4) Emotionally, you suddenly start to notice a male classmate in the class. His every move makes you feel infinite, and the world in front of you becomes sunny ... This psychological change is not that you have become bad, but that you have grown up.
There was a girl—
In the first grade of primary school, I began to have a crush on the boys in my class. When I was in primary school, I often wondered where I came from. When I was in the fifth grade of primary school, I suddenly found my chest bulging and I was disgusted.
When I was in junior high school, I was disgusted with my mother's request to wear a bra, and I didn't adapt for a long time. I like to look in the mirror ten times a day. I am extremely narcissistic and affectionate. When I came to menstruation in the third grade, I was very depressed. I envy boys and find being a woman annoying.
When I was in high school, I often had a crush on boys in my class, but none of them were true love. In senior three, I really fell in love with a boy in my class and liked him very much, but I made up my mind to keep this feeling in my heart.
Finally, I finished my high school studies and was admitted to an ideal university.
For junior high school students, the real love and marriage should be after 10 years.
Grow up in "waiting"
(1) What?
When we are physically and psychologically mature.
When we are 15, 16 years old, we will become mature individuals who can have sex. The society needs us to be 25 or 26 years old to get married and have children, which requires us to wait patiently. Wait until the green apples are ripe, then wait for a better life.
(2) Why wait?
The intimate relationship between two completely different people requires both sides to try their best to understand and communicate, and then get to know each other at a deeper level. You must know each other's dreams and worries, understand each other's deepest needs, and care about each other, including care, protection, shelter, service, cherish and care. These are all things that need to be learned. For love and happiness, it is worth waiting for.
(3) How to wait?
Need to understand what a good relationship is. Forget everything you have learned from TV, movies, CDs, some books and the Internet, and observe your parents and their lives.
Establishing a lifelong love relationship has little to do with beautiful appearance and sexual attraction. Even if the feeling of "love" is great, it has its limitations. What is more related to lifelong love is trust, care, sacrifice, selflessness, communication, patience, persistence, reliability and the personalities of both parties.
5 sexual morality in adolescence
Sex is a part of everyone's personality and an instinct, which determines our gender role (girl or boy) and social role. Through the understanding of sex, we know what kind of person we want to play, how to establish self-concept, how to respect the opposite sex and how to communicate with others. Sex is an important foundation of physical and mental health.
(1) Sex is very important, but it is not important enough to cover the whole human nature; Sexual pleasure is important, but it can't contain all the happiness in the world; Sexual desire is important, but it is not more important than survival desire, development desire, security desire and creation desire.
(2) When you face a strong sexual impulse, don't forget that sex is not the whole of life. In order to realize the all-round development of individuals, sex can and should be controlled.
(3) If you love someone, you have no right to ask her to love you back; Loving someone does not give you the right to decide the final result between you; Love a person, also have no right to let her take care of you.
(4) Gender differences: From the perspective of brain science, men are more sexually impulsive, and men are more impulsive and active in behavior than women. Boys' sexual impulse is a direct and strong feeling in the reproductive organs, which must be released through the behavior of the sexual organs. Girls' sexual impulses are manifested in their lovesickness, fantasy and longing for love, which are often released by hugging and touching, and they don't like sex very much.
Different physiology leads to different psychology, different ways of thinking, different perspectives and different understandings, which will lead to great differences between men and women. Don't use your own psychology to guess each other's psychology.
(5) Sex can wait. In the United States, the "Waiting for True Love" movement, also known as the restraint education program, persuaded 2.4 million teenagers to swear to themselves, their families, friends and future sexual partners to ban premarital sex.
Unmarried sexual behavior does not conform to the norms of human behavior, endangering people's physical and mental health, especially affecting the physical development and psychological growth of teenagers.
The harm of premarital sex
① A survey of middle school students in Beijing in 2003: "What do you think of premarital sex?" The statistical results show that 45.3% of junior high school students and 63.9% of senior high school students choose to have sex as long as both parties are willing.
② In the summer of 2006, the survey results of middle school students in China Youth Politics College showed that only 2 1.7% people thought premarital sex was inappropriate, while others thought that "it can happen as long as you love each other" or "it's too normal, it's no big deal".
③ Without condom protection, it is easy to get sexually transmitted diseases and AIDS. Even with condoms, 10% is invalid. About 50% of girls want to marry each other, but less than 10% of boys still want to marry girls who have sex with them.
(4) A girl has sex with her boyfriend and is pregnant. They went to the hospital together, one at the door and the other at the door, so they watched the child being aborted. Neither of them can forget the pain. Girls feel uncomfortable when they see boys later, and they want to forget them countless times, but there is nothing they can do. The girl left her boyfriend shortly after losing her child. This kind of pain is unforgettable for both of them. They will face the future, their marriage and their families with such pain.
The middle school student's body is a body that can have sex, but the brain that controls the body is a brain that has not yet figured out what sex is. Premature sex is harmful to boys and girls. Not only physically, but also psychologically, it is a more painful dark injury and internal injury. Immature sexual behavior may change a teenager's life. Therefore, we should not be careless about our sexual behavior, and we should carefully make decisions that are in the interests of ourselves and each other.
Your body is too precious, and naked sex is too absolute. Unless you can hand it over on a solid foundation of marriage, nothing else can be done. If you don't feel ready to have sex with him, just say "no". You have no obligation to explain to him in detail. If he says, "You don't really love me." You can tell him, "This has nothing to do with love." If he wants to break up with you because of this, you don't have to be sad, because it just shows that he doesn't really love you. May you hold the last line of defense.
(6) Correct understanding of masturbation (masturbation)
Masturbation is to achieve sexual excitement and orgasm by stimulating reproductive organs with hands. It is a manifestation of sexual maturity.
① Entering adolescence, the body gradually matures, and sexual needs and impulses are normal physiological responses. Using masturbation to solve them is understandable and beyond reproach.
Correct and hygienic masturbation is completely harmless to the body and to others and society. It is a simple, responsible and safe sex. Do it alone in a safe and private space.
Reproductive organs, like the five senses and limbs, are all part of the body.
B don't let others look at and touch your sex organs at will.
C keep the reproductive organs clean and hygienic, and be sure to wash your hands before touching them.
There is nothing wrong with doing such a thing. Many girls have done it. It has nothing to do with the word "obscenity". The correct word should be called "masturbation".
The harm of masturbation comes from the incorrect understanding of masturbation, which is considered immoral, obscene, dirty, unspeakable and at a loss, resulting in shame, self-blame, distress and confusion about one's sexual impulse, and fear and regret. The harm comes from the guilt and humiliation after masturbation, and from the strong restraint of masturbation. The more you fear and forbid, the more you condemn yourself in your heart, the more you want to masturbate, and the more you rely on masturbation, which will cause more harm.
Excessive continuous and frequent masturbation is not due to the natural sexual excitement of the body, but to the persistent impulse caused by the stimulation of obscene books, CDs, pornographic websites, etc. And there is a vicious circle of stimulation-masturbation-re-stimulation-masturbation to vent. Excessive indulgence in masturbation should be restrained.
⑤ Whether it exists or not, it is normal. It's normal to do or not do anything. This is a kind of self-choice. You don't have to worry, pursue, blame yourself for not happening, and be curious about not happening, which has nothing to do with personal moral quality. Let it be.
The correct way to masturbate is to deal with it according to the principle of "four noes": no stimulation, no concern, no depression and no self-blame.
(7) How to relieve sexual impulse?
① Take an active part in various activities organized by classes and schools, and take part in physical exercises or knowledge contests. Watch more healthy movies and TV programs, especially those that are far away from or have nothing to do with sex, such as football matches.
② Consciously resist temptation, avoid watching or listening to sexually stimulating books, periodicals and audio-visual products, and purify the stimulation sources around you. Overcome excessive sexual fantasies and reduce sexual impulses.
(3) When men and women have been together for a long time, one party is impulsive and can't control his feelings. The other party should patiently persuade and politely refuse, and weaken the other party's impulsive desire with wisdom, without ambiguity and tolerance. Let the other person come to his senses under your cushioning, face the reality calmly and avoid unfortunate things.
4 focus on what you are interested in and divert your attention.
⑤ Go to the counseling room and have an interview with the psychological teacher.
Related links:
The psychology teacher receives visitors.
Venue: 4th Floor, Sunshine Soul Home Office Building
Time: Monday to Friday afternoon, the seventh and eighth classes 16: 05— 17: 45.
Psychological hotline: 878 16989
Time: every Saturday and Sunday evening 19: 00-2 1: 00.
"Mood message" mailbox
Venue: North Wall of No.9 Middle School Education Office Recipient: Sister Sunshine
How to get a letter: When you see your signature written on the blackboard below the mailbox, you can get a reply from the mail room.
Psychological consultation QQ: 249546536 psychological mailbox :sweet55@sohu.com
Psychological website: www.9zhong.net/ Student Channel/Psychological Counseling
⑥ Read some related books, such as Dr. Intimate Talking about Sex with Young Parents, Our Youth, Our Body, Contemporary People's Secular Desire, Young Time, Worth Waiting: When the Forbidden Fruit is Mature, etc., and go to related websites: Mental Health Network, Xinfan Network and New Route Education Network.
Five principles of sexual morality: masturbation, harmlessness, love, secrecy and legality.
Sexual harassment in adolescence
What should girls do if they encounter sexual harassment?
(1) The perpetrators of sexual harassment are often acquaintances, such as family members, relatives and friends.
(2) First touching the body with words or seemingly inadvertently teasing, and some entering the girl's room at will without knocking at the door or saying hello, all constitute sexual harassment. This is a critical period for girls to protect themselves. Don't think you are too sensitive, let alone shy, and find opportunities for sexual molesters. Instead, we must resolutely refuse and resist and cut off the evil thoughts of "further".
(3) The sexual molester will carefully plan to find a relatively hidden environment and take teasing, touching, or drugs to make the victim have sexual excitement and fantasy. It seems that the victim is voluntary, but as long as it is against the will of the parties, it is sexual assault, which is often manifested as sudden, compulsive and violent.
When you are led to a strange room or a secluded place, you should be on high alert, and the danger is approaching you.
(4) Once the sexual assault is successful, all means will be used to intimidate and induce the victim to keep a secret.
The victims are afraid of pressure from all sides, the cold expression and blame of doctors and police, and the face of family members and relatives. They often do not choose to call the police and go to the hospital for treatment. Parents will also intimidate their children and cover up the truth in order to take care of their own interests or under pressure from all sides.
(5) The victim should call the psychological hotline 8696131386961315 of Shijiazhuang Minors Psychological Maintenance Center to analyze with relevant personnel whether to call the police. At the same time, pay attention to retaining evidence, such as underwear, sheets, etc. Even if you don't report the case, you should tell the infringer that I have evidence and let him take it into account when he wants to "go further".
(6) Tell relatives and friends what happened, so that when something happens again in the future, you can ask for help in time, such as staying overnight.
(7) After being sexually assaulted, there will inevitably be negative emotions such as anger, fear and sadness, but if you know that you are not wrong, you can express these emotions and vent them to the aggressor so that he will not dare to sexually assault you again.
7 sexual protection in adolescence
How do girls protect themselves when they meet a pervert?
(1) Disengage tactics
Walking is the best plan, and running away or getting rid of it is the best and safest way.
When you find a man approaching you in a remote place or at night, you should try to escape. It is also possible that the other party is not a bad person, but it is better to avoid mistakes than not to avoid them.
If a gangster catches you, you can pick up a stick or stone and bash him in the head, or throw a handful of dirt into his eyes and run away quickly when the other person is dumbfounded.
If you find that the other person has bad motives indoors, you should find an excuse to leave as soon as possible. When you are in distress at the other person's home or car, you can throw his wallet or valuables out of the window and run away when he has to pick them up.
If you encounter hooliganism or stalking, you should go to crowded markets, shops or dressing rooms and bathrooms as soon as possible to escape.
(2) Help tactics
Making a hullabaloo about is the easiest way.
When calling someone, don't shout "help", but shout "help", because most people are timid and afraid of the fierceness of gangsters, and dare not come to the rescue. You can also shout "Stop thief" or "Fire". If you are at home, you can call your neighbors by their first names.
If you are chased by bad guys at night, you can run to the nearby yard for help. It's best to shout "Dad, open the door quickly, there are bad guys chasing me." If people in the house can't hear you, you can pick up a brick, smash the glass of his house and get people out.
If you are hijacked by gangsters, you can use the method of "looking for trouble". If you deliberately step on others' feet, quarrel with others, spit everywhere, violate traffic regulations, and reach for something from a roadside stall, naturally someone will quarrel with you, and even send you to the security guard or police station, and gangsters will not hijack you.
(3) Deception tactics
Everything is fair in war, and if deception is used properly, it will be a great success.
If you are stopped on the road, you can lie to me like this: I live alone, I can have a good time at my house, and then lie to his parents or relatives to let them clean up the gangsters. Or look for an opportunity to escape after the gangster loses his guard.
Suppose you have your period.
I lied to him that I was diagnosed with AIDS and no man dared to pursue me.
When using deception, the attitude should be natural, the look should be calm, the eyes should look straight at him, the tone should be steady and low, and especially you should be confident. "I'm sure I can fool him."
(4) Persuasion strategy
Ordinary gangsters will not be persuaded. This tactic is only applicable to bad people who are familiar with classmates, colleagues, friends and relatives and have no obvious tendency to violence.
When the other person starts flirting with you, make it clear that you object. When persuading the other party, on the one hand, we should explain to him that this is an illegal and criminal act, on the other hand, we should also save face for the other party. As long as you stop, you can "not pursue". When talking about harm, we should be clear, concrete and vivid. When persuading the other party, one should blame his behavior and the other should protect his self-esteem. Don't call him "smelly rascal", which means he is just confused for a moment.
Do not strive for progress, do not show weakness, the more afraid he is of getting more energetic, and treat him with an attitude of being afraid of friends making mistakes.
Put yourself in his shoes and think about the harm of breaking the law.
Once the persuasion is successful, it not only protects itself, but also saves a person.
(5) delaying tactics
When you can't find a chance to get out of trouble for a while, you should postpone creating an opportunity.
Chatting with gangsters, the content should have nothing to do with sex, and it is best to be a topic of interest to the other party. The longer the time, the more the crime will fade.
Procrastinate with actions, deliberately throw away the bag, saying that there is money in it, go back and look for it. My shoes are torn and I can't walk. Sprained foot, etc.
If you are an acquaintance, you can also say something to eat, take a bath or something. , so as to find a chance to beat each other.
In short, you should be calm and flexible in using tactics, and you can succeed completely.
As long as we have a sense of self-protection against sexual assault, we can prevent sexual harassment and sexual assault.
Adolescent sex law
Sex is not only a personal privacy, but also a social, moral and legal issue.
Legal adulthood is different from sexual psychology and physiology. Law is the bottom line of life and sex, and all sexual acts cannot be illegal.
Actors should not infringe on the rights of others, but also safeguard their own legal rights. We should bravely take up legal weapons and safeguard our legitimate rights and interests. According to the law, having sex with the opposite sex of 14 years old (including 14 years old) is regarded as rape whether the other party wants to or not.
The birth of life is a miracle. When you reach puberty, it is a great leap. Life blooms the flower of youth in its unique way, and the arrival of adolescence is a tribute to life. May each of our classmates spend their adolescence safely.