I am a speck of dust, living beside the Buddha.
Buddha loves cleanliness, but he is not taboo about my existence at all. Therefore, I often crawled into the Buddha's large and warm palm to play without restraint. Buddha just smiled at me kindly.
I know that Buddha loves me.
The days spent with Buddha are peaceful and worry-free. It is the Buddha who washes away my restlessness and loneliness every day with the water from the Wangyou River in front of the Buddha.
Buddha knew that I was naughty, so he often let the wind carry me running around by the Wangyou River. In summer, the Wangyou River is covered with green lotus leaves and dotted with delicate and elegant lotus flowers. When the wind couldn't resist the temptation of the fragrance, it left me alone and shuttled on the leaf tips and petals alone. Feng'er's petite and beautiful body was jumping on the Wangyou River, jumping in front of my eyes, and I was a little crazy watching it.
When I returned to the Buddha, I seemed a little absent-minded. Buddha has a pair of wise eyes, which can not only see through the joys and sorrows of the world, but also penetrate my thoughts. The Buddha didn't say anything to me. He just took me to the bank of the Wangyou River, which was as calm as a mirror. Through the river, I leaned down and looked down: In the vast world of mortals, some people howled and cried when they were in great sorrow, some looked up to the sky and smiled when they were happy, some were dazed and dumb, and some were beaming with pride. I was puzzled and asked the Buddha: "Why are there so many faces with different expressions in the world?"
The Buddha smiled and said nothing.
"Feng'er has left, will she come back?" When Buddha told me that Feng'er had left, I asked him in shock.
The Buddha touched me lovingly and said to me slowly and kindly: "When the wind leaves, it will not come back."
I felt lost and said to myself: " Eighteen hundred years of daily relationship were cut off without a sound, Feng'er, where will you go?"
Buddha knew that I came from the world of mortals, and it was only an accidental opportunity that brought me here. I went to heaven, but the Buddha always loved me very much. Buddha looked at me who was dejected and said softly to me: "Feng'er has left, and Huier you will also leave me."
I trembled, as if I had been frightened. , said to the Buddha anxiously: "Buddha, have I made you angry? Do you no longer love Hui'er? Don't you want Hui'er anymore?"
The Buddha shook his head and smiled. Then he told me: "It's not your fault. It's because you and I have been cultivating for eighteen hundred years and still have an unbreakable relationship. It's destined that you can't let go of Feng'er. Feng'er is the one who makes it impossible for you, Huizi, to practice quietly!" The Buddha paused for a moment and continued: "You have seen so many faces in the world from Wangyou River. After you left me, you became one of them. You are a soul of flesh and blood. You will follow Feng'er in that world." Encounter."
The Buddha held me in his hands and blew gently on me, and I fell into the world...
It was a snowy morning. The red sun jumps out of the dividing line between heaven and earth, quietly projecting thousands of rays of light onto this silver-covered world. Before the little bird woke up, a loud cry had already torn the tranquility of the entire mountain village. The woman who had just given birth to the baby ignored her own weakness and hugged the baby with all her strength. "What a pretty eyebrow, what a bright eye." The person standing nearby exclaimed in surprise. The soft sunlight penetrated the window, rushed into the house, and gently covered the child's face. I know that it is the boundless kindness of Buddha. "Huizi!" The woman kissed my forehead.
The universe is shining with golden light, and the heaven and earth are peaceful.
From then on, my mother used the simplicity of the mountains to wipe away the dust of the world for me, and nourished my growth with the aura of the green mountains and beautiful waters. The spring flute in Makino, the autumn flute in the courtyard, the cold and heat change, the spring and autumn changes. Fast forward more than ten years, I often think: Buddha should have seen me grow up, why didn't Buddha tell me where Feng'er went? When I met the Buddha in my dream, the Buddha always smiled when I asked him, and said: "Destiny comes and goes in a hurry, and you will understand it eventually." After the Buddha finished speaking, he smiled and drifted away without waiting for me to ask. go.
I don’t understand that “fate comes and goes like the wind.”
All I know is that the Buddha brought me to the human world so that I could end the lingering love in my heart.
My mother told me that if I want to get out of the mountains, I must go to college. I think the wind should be outside the mountain. I worked very hard on my own road of life - a road leading outside the mountains. In those three hellish days in July 1999, my sweat was exchanged for a piece of paper informing me to leave the mountain. At that moment, my happiness was blown all over the ground by the wind, and the wind felt the passion and joy with me. I know that I have walked into the life of the wind.
Autumn at the end of the century came and went quickly, and it was late autumn in the blink of an eye. The birch trees on campus have lost all their lush green, and their leaves are dancing in the autumn wind with their last beauty before their death. The color of late autumn is tranquility, as if it is the paradise arranged by Buddha in the human world. Only the footsteps of the wind passing through each withered leaf and my figure, a dust in the rolling red dust, are left chasing the wind. Feng'er finally came into my sight.
On an autumn night, the sky is high and the clouds are clear, and a waning moon hangs diagonally on the branches. I rushed back to the dormitory from the teaching area under the faint moonlight. There was an accident brewing at a 90-degree turn on the way, and I bumped into a girl. In an instant, the books filled the floor like moonlight. My confusion was immediately written on every movement, and I hurriedly said: "I'm sorry, I'll help you pick it up." Then I bent down, and my hand just touched the page. , the girl’s shadow on the ground has started to move.
"It doesn't matter, I'll take care of it myself." The girl's soft voice filled the entire hearing, as if blown by a gust of wind from heaven.
The girl's fingers touching the book touched me. I felt cold. I think it was probably because of the late autumn.
I looked up at the girl. Her long hair was flowing in the evening breeze, and her face was buried in the flowing long hair. I remained silent and walked to the scattered books further away. Next to a book titled "Love Life", I saw my student ID card lying in the moonlight. Name, Wanfeng. What a graceful name! I thought silently in my heart. When my eyes were moving downward, the gentle evening breeze blew, and I turned another page. I saw "Hengyang, Hunan" filled in the blank space behind my family's address. Under the clear moonlight, these four words shine as if plated with silver. My heart was beating wildly. Buddha actually placed me and Feng'er under the same blue sky, breathing each other's breath. I shouted in my heart: Wanfeng, I am the dust in front of the Buddha.
I handed the books and documents I picked up to Wanfeng. She took them and said "thank you." During this period, I had the opportunity to see Wanfeng's eyes: a pair of radiant eyes, filled with joy like the wind, like a suit of autumn water ruffled by the wind, and sparkling in the moonlight. .
"Are you from Hengyang?" I knew the consultant clearly.
"Well, my home is right there."
I told her that my home was also in the green mountains and green waters, and Wanfeng's smile immediately appeared on her handsome face. This immediately relaxed my tense nerves as I am not good at interacting with people. Everything went so naturally, and Wanfeng and I became good friends. After all, we spent eighteen hundred years together in front of the Buddha. I deeply believe that the ninety-degree turn was a prop placed by Buddha in the script starring Feng'er and I.
In the days that followed, I often sat with Feng'er by the lotus pond, and told Feng'er the story of my naughty time in front of the Buddha. The helplessness of being idle. Wanfeng always blinks at this time, with a happy smile on her face.
I said to Feng'er: "It was Buddha who asked me to come to the human world to find you, do you know?"
Feng pretended to be confused and said: "No I know.”
It wasn’t until Feng saw me fidgeting and blushing that he said affectionately: “Can the memory of eighteen hundred years be erased so easily?”
The cold wind blew through the lotus pond with fallen branches and leaves, and the warmth in my heart melted away the coldness all over me.
It snowed heavily this winter.
Just a snowfall made the campus more lively than ever.
There are young figures and young voices everywhere. Wanfeng and I were walking on the green garden path covered with white snow, and I clearly saw a blush on Feng'er's snow-white face being torn apart by the cold wind like a knife.
"Feng, are you cold?"
Feng'er squatted down and grabbed two handfuls of snow on the ground. While squeezing it with his hands, he said to me with a touch of sadness: "The two of them are colder than me!"
What the wind pinched were two little snowmen, and the wind placed them side by side. On a flat stone. I found a dead leaf and put it on the head of the skinny snowman.
"She may be the coldest person this winter, but at this moment, she will be the happiest person in the world." Feng was very emotional.
I looked at the wind, and the wind's eyes seemed to be covered with a layer of mist.
I grabbed Feng's hand and put it to my mouth. I used the hot breath from my chest to warm these frozen hands.
The wind’s hands are really cold. She gave all her warmth to the two snowmen, I thought.
The final exam is here. It has been three or four days since I last saw Wanfeng. Sitting in the classroom where we agreed to study together, my heart was in a panic. I called Feng'er's dormitory, and her classmates told me that Wanfeng had been sick and hospitalized for several days.
I was stunned.
Rushed to the hospital and found the room number where Feng was hospitalized. Two of Feng's classmates were standing outside the door, and I saw wet tears on their faces. Urgently asked: "What disease did Feng have? Why didn't she tell me earlier? Why?"
"She promised to go to self-study that day, but... ended up walking... to... He fell down at the door..." Feng's classmate's tears covered clear tear marks again.
"After the examination at the school hospital that day, the doctor from the school hospital said that we should come here for hospitalization as soon as possible. He said that we should hurry up...otherwise...life...we...we..." she Finally burst into tears.
I didn’t think about it, my consciousness told me that I had rushed into the house.
On the hospital bed, Feng'er lay there quietly. His eyes were closed and he was breathing evenly, but his jade-like face became even paler. The walls of the house are also snow-white, and the only sound in the whole room is the sound of drops of liquid falling from the infusion set. The sound is like the water droplets rolling off the lotus leaves falling into the Wangyou River.
I walked gently to the bed and stared at the wind wearing an oxygen mask - a girl as talented as poetry, a girl as gentle as the wind.
"Feng'er!"
"Feng'er!"
...
Feng did not respond. Just lying quietly, like a sleeping angel.
I quietly exited the room and closed the door. I found a doctor and saw Feng’s medical report. There were four shocking words written on it. For a moment, I felt like I was in an ice cellar. This is impossible, absolutely impossible! Crazy and losing my mind, I grabbed the report sheet and tore it into pieces.
Tears rolled down quietly from the corners of my eyes.
"Doctor, please save her, please, no matter what the cost..." In despair, the doctor is my life-saving straw.
The doctor shook his head with difficulty and said seriously: "I'm afraid... I'm afraid it's not until the New Year!"
"With modern medical technology so advanced, there must be a way. Doctor, you must find a way to save her!"
"If...it's too late...it's too late!"
At this moment, my The soul seemed to have been taken away, leaving only the empty body standing upright.
The wind never woke up. I have been by the wind's side for five days, and in two days there will be the dawn of a new century.
I buried Feng'er's pale and cold hands in my chest, put my four palms together, and prayed for God's kindness and the Buddha's mercy to come to Feng'er and resolve the disaster in Feng'er's life. Let Feng'er pass through the pass of life smoothly.
But all the prayers seemed so weak when the wind floated to heaven. The wind really blew away.
The bright sunshine of the New Year shines into the ward, and there is no wind on the bed. Standing at the door that was pushed open, standing at the door of the room without the wind, my soul truly shed its shell.
Walking through the path in the green garden, I didn’t see the little snowman covered with leaves by me. The New Year's sunshine has melted her thin body. It was the Buddha who took her away. The Buddha really took Feng'er away.
The Buddha said to me: "Destiny comes and goes like the wind." Now I have fully realized it. Buddha has been directing this script, and the ending is that the wind is gone like the wind.
Everything in the world is dust, and looking back is always empty. A few years later, the world reincarnated, the sea was ups and downs, and I was just a speck of dust again.
I hope I am still the dust in front of the Buddha. There, by the Wangyou River, there is Buddha, the wind, and me.
With a flick of the finger
2002.6.2 Beijing