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The Policeman and the Hymn

[American] O. Henry. Henry

Pan Mingyuan/Translation

Sobey lay impatiently on a bench in Madison Square Garden, tossing and turning. Whenever the geese craned their necks to sing in the night sky

, when the woman who lacked a sealskin coat doubled her warmth and intimacy with her husband, and when Sobey fretted and tossed on the bench in Street Park

, it became clear that winter was close at hand.

A dead leaf fell on Sobey's thigh, a card from Jack Frost1. Jack was very polite to the permanent residents of Mc

Dixon Square, and always preceded his annual visit with a greeting. At the head of the crossroads, he gave his card to the North Wind, the messenger of the Outdoor Mansion, so that the residents could be prepared.

Sobey realized that it was time for him to make up his own mind and organize a one-man finance committee to

stand up to the approaching cold, so he tossed and turned impatiently on the bench.

Sobey's overwintering ambitions were not exactly the highest; he had no desire to cruise the Mediterranean, nor to bask in the sleep-inducing sun in the south

, nor to drift in the Gulf of Vesuvius. All he dreamed of was spending

three months on the island and that would be enough. Three full months of food, beds and like-minded companions, and

without the North Wind and the police. For Sobhi, this was the best thing he could have wished for.

For years, the prison on hospitable Blackwell's Island2 has been Sobey's winter home. Just as New Yorkers better off than him buy tickets to Palm Beach ③ and the Riviera ④ every winter, Sobey has to make the necessary arrangements for his

annual escape to the island. Now it's time again. Last night, he had slept on a bench next to the fountain in the old

Plaza, and had not been able to stave off the cold by using three Sunday newspapers to pad his shirt, wrap his ankles

and cover his thighs, respectively. So, in his head, the image of the island

came back instantly and vividly. He cursed the rags

that were set up in the name of charity for the poor of the town. In Sobey's eyes, the law was more generous than relief. There were plenty of places he could go to mingle, eat, live, and eke out a living in all sorts of organizations run by municipalities and

relief agencies, but receiving

alms was an intolerable ordeal for a man of Sobey's lofty soul. To accept any little favor from the hands of a benevolent

institution, the money need not be paid, of course, but you must suffer spiritual humiliation

in return. Just as Caesar did with Brutus,5 there is a downside to everything; to sleep in the bed of a charitable

institution, you must first be escorted to a bath; to eat a slice of bread from a charity, you must first give a clear account of your personal

origin and privacy. Therefore, it is far better to be a guest of the law. While the law is ironclad and by-the-book, at least it doesn't interfere too much with the private affairs of decent people.

Once the decision to go to the island was made, Sobhi set about making it a reality. There were a number of easy ways to make good on one's wishes,

the most comfortable of which was to go to a fancy restaurant, eat a meal, and then

then

admit that one was broke and could not pay for it, and be handed over to the police quietly and unobtrusively.

The rest was up to the negotiator. The rest is up to the negotiating vigilantes.

Sobey left the bench and paced out of the plaza, crossing the flat, asphalt

paved pavement at the intersection of Broadway and Fifth. He turned toward Broadway Street and stopped

in front of a lighted café where the best of the grape, silk, and protoplasmic products were gathered every night.6

Sobey was still quite confident in his vest from the bottom button up, he had had his face trimmed and his blouse

still imposing enough, and his neat black bowtie had been given to him by a church lady at Thanksgiving. As long as he was not second-guessed before he

arrived at the table, success was his. His exposed upper body on the tabletop would never make the waiter

suspicious. Sobey thought that a roast mallard duck would be just right - and a bottle of Chablis (7), followed by camembert (8), a small cup of coffee and a cigarillo. A dollar a cigar would have sufficed. The price of the whole should not be too high, lest the café retaliate too vigorously; however, eating this

meal would make his journey to the winter refuge a satisfying and carefree one.

But no sooner had Sobey's foot stepped through the door than the eyes of the usher's waiter fell upon his old pants and torn leather

shoes. Strong, swift palms pushed him around, and he was escorted silently out and pushed onto the sidewalk

path, saving the mallard from a pitiful fate that had narrowly escaped poisoning.

Sobey left Broadway Street. It looks like the

approach of gorging your way toward the coveted island isn't going to work. It would take another idea to get into jail.

On the corner of Sixth Street, the merchandise in the large, brightly lit, intricately furnished glass windows was particularly

intriguing. Sobey picked up a pebble and smashed it against the glass window. People came running around the corner, led

by a patrolman. Sobey stood motionless, both hands in his pants pockets, smiling at the brass button

button.9

"Where did the guy who did this run off to?" The officer asked, exasperated.

"You don't think this has anything to do with me?" Sobey said, more or less in a mocking tone, but friendly,

as if he was having peachy luck.

The police didn't see Sobey as a perpetrator at all. Whoever had destroyed the window would never have stayed at the scene to talk to the law

Law's favorites, and would have slipped away long ago. The policeman saw a man running to catch a car half a block away,

and pursued him, brandishing his truncheon. Sobey, with great abhorrence in his heart, only dragged his feet and resumed his wandering

. Once again, he had miscalculated.

On the opposite side of the street, there was a less inviting restaurant that filled the stomach and didn't cost much.

Its bowls were rough, the air was murky, the soup and vegetables were watery, and the napkins were thin as silk. Sobhi stepped into the dining room in his cursed

cursed shoes and revealing pants, and, God forbid, didn't get a glare yet. He walked to the table

and sat down, ate steak, pancakes, doughnuts and pie. Then he confessed the truth to the waiter: he

had never had any dealings with Mr. Moneybags.

"Now, get the police," said Sobey. "Don't keep His Lordship waiting."

"There's no need to call the police," said the waiter, his voice as smooth as buttercream, his eyes as red as the cherries in a

Manhattan aperitif. "Hey, Con!"

The two waiters pushed him cleanly down onto the cold, hard sidewalk, landing on his left ear. Sobey

hardly got up from the ground bit by bit, as if a carpenter had opened a folding ruler, and proceeded to pat the

dust off his clothes. The wish to be arrested was merely a beautiful dream; that island was too far away. In front of the drugstore, two storefronts

apart, stood a policeman, who smiled and headed down the street.

Sobey managed to get his arrested breath back after walking five blocks. This time it was a rare opportunity, and he thought it was a sure thing. A young woman, plainly but pleasantly dressed, stood in front of the window, gazing with interest at the display of chamois cups and ink-bottle holders. And two yards away, a

big, burly policeman was leaning against the faucet, looking serious.

Sobey's plan was to dress up as a nasty, obnoxious "troublemaker". The gentleness of his subject, and the proximity of a loyal policeman, convinced him how pleasant it would be to have his hands grasped in his

hand, and to spend the winter in the island's little comfort zone.

Sobey straightened the bowtie the church lady had given him, pulled out the cuffs of his indented shirt, tipped his hat

back, so crooked that it almost fell off, and sidled up to the woman. He leered at her, cleared his

throat, grunted and laughed, and acted out all the meanness and impudence of the rascal in a perfect

performance. He squinted and saw the policeman staring him dead in the face. The young woman moved a few steps away and

was again absorbed in viewing the manicured cup. Sobey followed her, approached her boldly, raised his hat, and said, "

Ah-ha, Bidelia, don't you want to go out into my yard and have some fun?"

The policeman remained deadpan. All the slighted young woman had to do was wave her hand in the air and it was the same as being already on the

road to the island's comfort zone. In imagination, he already felt the comfort and warmth of the police precinct.

The young woman turned to face him and reached out a hand, catching the cuff of Sobey's blouse.

"Sure lo, Mike," she said cheerfully, "if you'll break down and buy me a beer

. I'd have talked to you if that cop hadn't been looking at me all the time."

The young woman clung to him like ivy to a great oak tree. Sobhi walked past the policeman, his heart

reeling. It seemed fated that he should be free.

Once he reached the corner, he dumped his female companion and took off running. He ran in one breath to a place far away.

Here, all night long, were the brightest of lights, the lightest of moods, the flippest of vows and the lightest of songs

dramas. The ladies in their furs and the gentlemen in their overcoats came

and went merrily about in the bitter cold. Sobey felt a sudden pang of fear that perhaps some terrible magical spell had held him back from

being arrested. The thought made his heart leap. But when he saw a policeman patrolling the brightly lit theater

in front of the building, he was instantly saved by "disturbing the peace".

Sobey was on the sidewalk, cracking his gong-like voice and making noise like a drunk.

He jumped, he yelled, he screamed, and he did all sorts of things to stir up the heavens.

The policeman whirled his baton, twisted around with his back to Sobey, and explained to a citizen, "It's

a Yale kid celebrating a victory; they played Hartford College and bought someone a big goose egg.

It's a little loud, but it's not a problem. We have instructions from the top, so let them make a scene."

Sobey stopped his futile ruckus unhappily. Would there never be a police officer to lay hands on him

? In his hallucinations, the island seemed to have become an unattainable Arcadia⑩. He buttoned up his

single blouse so as to ward off the biting wind.

Sobey saw a well-dressed man in the cigar and tobacco store lighting a cigarette into the fire. The man leaned his silk umbrella against the door as he entered the store

. Sobey stepped through the door of the store, picked up the silk umbrella, and retreated carelessly. The cigarette-lighting

man hurried after him.

"My umbrella," he snapped.

"Huh?" Sobey sneered; let's add an insult to petty theft and groping.

"Well wow, why don't you call the police then? That's right, I took. Your umbrella! Why don't you call the patrol

cop? There's one standing right there on the corner for miles."

The owner of the silk umbrella slowed his pace, and Sobey followed suit. He had a feeling that fate would

against him. The policeman looked at them both curiously.

"Of course lo," said the owner of the silk umbrella, "that's, oh, you know these kinds of misunderstandings sometimes occur ......

I . ...I hope you won't be offended if this umbrella is yours ...... I picked it up in the dining room this morning ......

If you recognize it as yours, then... . i hope you don't ......"

"Of course it's mine," said Sobey viciously.

The former owner of the silk umbrella backed away resentfully. The policeman scrambled to assist a tall woman in a

nightgown cloak with blonde hair across the cross street, lest a streetcar coming two blocks away

may touch her.

Sobey walked east, crossing a street made uneven by renovations. He angrily hurled his silk

umbrella violently into a pothole. He grumbled about the guys in helmets and batons.

Because all he wanted to do was to fall into the net of justice, and they were treating him as if he were the king (11) who could do no wrong.

At last, Sobey came to a street leading to the East Side, where the lights were dimmed and the noise if

there was any. He followed the street toward Madison Square, and even though his home was merely a park bench

the instinct to go home took him there.

But at an unusually quiet corner, Sobey stopped. Here was an old church,

quaint looking and seemingly fragmented, a building with a mountain wall. Soft light was reflected through the lavender windows

and no doubt the organist was practicing a familiar Sunday hymn. The pleasant sound of music drifted into Thor

Bee's ears, drawing him in and gluing him to the spiraling iron railings.

The moon hung high in the night sky, glorious and still; pedestrians and vehicles were few and far between; the swallows

finches chirped a few times in their sleep under the eaves of the houses - there was for the moment the atmosphere of a churchyard in the countryside. The

hymns played by the organist tugged at the heartstrings of Sobey, who was crouching on the railings, for he was very familiar with hymns when he had in his life a mother's love, roses,

ambitions, friends, and a pure and innocent mind and a white collar.

Sobey's sensitive mood mingled with the sublimity of the old church, and brought about a violent and

wonderful change in his soul. Immediately he awoke with horror to the depths into which he had fallen, the years of degradation,

the shameful lust, the pessimism, the exhaustion of talent, the vileness of motives-all of which constituted his whole life

.

In a moment this new state of mind thrilled him. A swift and strong impulse inspired

him to take on the rough and tumble of life. He would drag himself out of the quagmire, he would conquer the

demon that had once mastered him. It was not too late, he was still young enough to recreate the ambitions of his day, and he was determined

to realize them. The solemn and sweet tones of the organ had already caused a revolution within him.

Tomorrow, he was going to find something to do in the busy business district. A leather goods importer who had at one time asked him to be a driver had found him tomorrow

to take the job. He was willing to be a figure of great prominence. He would ......

Sobey felt a hand press on his arm. He whipped his head around haughtily, only to see the broad

faceplate of a policeman.

"What are you doing here?" The cop asked.

"Nothing," Sobey said.

"Then come with me," the policeman said.

The next morning, the judge in the police court pronounced the sentence, "Blackwell's Island, three months."

1) Jack Frost: anthropomorphic name for "Frosty".

②Blackwell Island: on the East River in New York. There is a prison on the island.

③ Palm Beach (Palm Beach): town in southeastern Florida, United States, winter resort.

④ Riviera (The Riviera): southern Europe along the Mediterranean Sea section of the region, in the southeast of France

part and the northwest of Italy, is a holiday resort.

5 Caesar (Julius Caesar): (100-44BC) Roman commander and statesman, Rome's

dictator, assassinated by **** and sent nobles. Brutus: (85-42BC) Roman aristocratic faction

statesman, mastermind of the assassination of Julius Caesar, fled to Greece, assembled an army to fight against the allied forces of Antony and Octavian, and

committed suicide as a result of his defeat.

6 The author's tongue-in-cheek reference to fine wines, fancy clothes and high class people.

⑦ Chablis: an unsweetened

white wine native to the Chablis region of France.

8 Carmembert (Carmembert) cheese (Cheese): a soft cheese produced in France. The original

Fr. Normandy, a village, the production of this cheese and named.

9 refers to the police, because the buttons on the policeman's jacket are made of brass.

⑩Arcadia (Arcadia): originally a mountainous region of ancient Greece, now the central Peloponnese

Peninsula, known for its inhabitants living an idyllic pastoral style of simple life, now refers to the "paradise".

(11) English proverb: The king can do no wrong.