Jokes to make your girlfriend happy

1, the night I sent a message to my girlfriend: come to my house, no one at night. Girlfriend: have a period. I: all right, think of you. Together with spicy hot. Girlfriend: too spicy, recently hemorrhoids committed. Me: Come over, let's watch a movie together. Girlfriend: Well, I just got my orthodontic braces installed today, so I'll let you take a look. I: not another day, I suddenly have something. 2, the night out to run drops, pulled a beautiful girl, get in the car after she said: "Brother, just run!" I said girl, we are a drop, not a rental. The girl is so arrogant: "Brother, I'm not bad, just run, listen to me on the line!" I was angry, pulling the girl along the city wall running, an hour later, I kindly reminded: "sister, 300!" The girl looked at me and said, "Brother, are you taking a detour? You pull from the city wall Nanjiaomen to my Yanta, how can it be so much money?" I was instantly alert: "Sister, you're the one who said to just run." The girl was not happy, said, "If you can prove that I said those words, I will marry you!" I said I can't prove it, count me unlucky, don't want the money. The girl was anxious: "Brother, the drop car full recording, you check ah, surely said, you check will know!" I am more and more vigilant, even if the backward 300, can not be proved, you guys say I did the right thing.3, days want to eat roast meat, my husband immediately took me to a barbecue restaurant. When eating, he put the roasted meat into my bowl, but also said thoughtfully: hot, be careful. Next to the table after seeing the girl, to her boyfriend said: look at people are still afraid of scalding, you do not care about me! Her boyfriend calmly said: your IQ is higher than her 4, this day a man in rags to the company interview. I asked him: "Why are you not well dressed, but also a smell of fumes?" The man said awkwardly: "I'm sorry, my wife is paralyzed in the window, I have to take care of her, because my home is quite far away from here, I can't care to eat a few mouthfuls of my own after I cook and feed her, not to mention that I don't have time to take a shower and clean up after myself, it's really disrespectful!" I was touched when I heard this, "If we hire you, then who will take care of your wife in the future?" The man thought for a moment and said, "If your company hires me, I'll have a stable income, then I'll be able to find a new young and beautiful wife!" 5、After my old husband died of cancer, my mother-in-law met a new boyfriend who was 12 years younger than her by square dancing. She met a new boyfriend who was 12 years younger than herself. He is a lottery player and goes to the store every day to buy lotto! Mother-in-law: "What are your plans if you win the lottery?" Boyfriend: "If I win $200,000, I'll open a milk tea store in your neighborhood." Mother-in-law: "If you win. What if I win 5 million dollars?" Boyfriend: "Then I'll play all over the country until I have 200,000 left, and then I'll open a milk tea store near your house!" Mother-in-law: ""?6, a tycoon ate the buffet, was about to get up and go, was called by the waiter, had to let the tycoon make up the difference. Price. Tuhao is very angry: "I did not leave leftovers ah, why do I have to make up the difference?" The waiter said, "Yes sir, you didn't waste anything! We 25 yuan buffet hot pot, you did not eat anything, came to drink our two boxes of drinks, a . Box of yogurt, you are not to make up the difference?" 7, a tycoon to charge the phone bill, the sales hall attendant lady asked: "How much do you want to charge?" Tuhao domineering said: "Give me full!" The service lady froze, with a gentle smile, said: "May I ask how old you are?" The tycoon said: "42!" The service lady took out the computer: "Your monthly fee of 1280 a month, a year on 15360, en, I believe you must be able to live a long life, so there are 58 years of monthly fee, a ***890880, you see you are a brush card or pay cash?8, Zhang Auntie introduced me to a boy and we arranged to meet at a restaurant. The boy acted very gentlemanly . . and pretended to be very gentle when I spoke. I had a good impression of him throughout the meal. The next day, Auntie Zhang came to my house and said that the guy thought I was too understanding! I was instantly confused, I go, too understanding is also a mistake . My mom consoled me and said: that's all an excuse, maybe people think you're ugly! 9, the pantry I brewed a good tonic, often stolen to drink it all, check out who, the group also said it was useless. So I secretly added pepper flour and . Cayenne pepper powder into it, trying to catch out the steal drink, and then I generously went to the workshop slipped around before coming back to see, and sure enough it was poured out. I went back to the office, want to see which one was hit, actually no one was hit, very depressed to pick up the cup to drink water, the result was spicy to turn . The mouth was swollen into a Donald Duck, and I was about to scold whoever was messing with me. At this time the front desk ran over and I said:* Sister, just now I saw the cleaning aunty to clean the tea set, to pour your tonic, I'll pour you a cup of 。。。。。 ?10, go to the field on business, come back when sitting on the hard seat of the train all night, all kinds of uncomfortable all kinds of tired. I went to the toilet, via . Through the smoking area, just yawning, stretching a lazy waist. Suddenly I felt that my hand was so hot, and the back of my hand was still sticky with cigarette ash! I'm a little grumpy, I was about to get angry, turned my head to look at me a tough bearded man with a blank face, index finger and middle finger to maintain the position of the cigarette. The posture, mouth half-open, nostrils poking a cigarette.

Please a can coax girls happy joke

Coax girls happy humor dialogue: 1, male: we must be together female: why? Male: for the sake of world peace 2, "I'm going to make you my" "woman on the tip of the tongue" 3, "I can stay up late with you, and I'll persuade you to go to bed early." "But the best state is when we sleep together." 4, "You see my hand there is no special place" "not special ah" "have not been held by you of course not special ah." 5, "Do you know why crows like camels?" "Because crows like camels just like I like you. It doesn't make sense." 6. "Do you want some candy?" "Yes." "Well, if you eat the candy, it'll be even sweeter." "No. ""Don't eat,"" "Yes, after all, you're so sweet."" 7, "Why did you hit me" "When did I hit you" "You struck my heart" Once I can't flirt with girls, to girls, countless times kneeling and currying favor, but was treated as a A good man. I've spent a lot of energy and money, but I can't get the girls to like me. Later in the "Alpine love network" in the system to learn a lot of girl skills, completely let me become a saint of love. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on some of the most popular products and services in the world, and then you'll be able to get your hands on some of the most popular ones.

These jokes are not just for the sake of the audience, they are for the sake of the audience, they are for the sake of the audience.

An old man drank too much, went home by mistake into the pigsty, lay down beside the sow and said, "Wife, pour me a glass of water." Sow grunted, the old man said: "not pouring on not pouring it, what pettiness." He touched his hand and said, "I bought a leather jacket, and it's double-breasted." The old couple went to take a picture, the photographer asked: "Do you want to meter the light, backlight, or full light?" moncler coyly said, "I am indifferent, can you save a pair of pants for your aunt?" One day, a barber beat up a candy cane seller, to the police station police asked the barber: Why did you beat up the candy cane seller? Barber said: TMD, I ironed hair in the house, he shouted outside, "hot paste Hello" a man into _, constipation, suddenly saw a man running into the moment of stormy weather, "Buddy, really envy you ah, so fast." "Envy what ah, I have not had time to take off my pants it!" Foreigners traveling in Shandong Laiwu, encountered an old lady teasing the cat, went up to the hard Chinese language and asked: "Old lady, what are you doing?" The old lady replied: "Drumming the cat!" The foreigner was shocked that even the old man knew English! So he gave her a piece of dark chocolate, the old lady thought it was dried groundnuts and said, "I have them in Laiwu!" The foreigner fainted!

Jokes to coax his girlfriend happy

1, the husband took an orchid bowl, very solemn to his wife said: "You are not good to wrestle the bowl in the future, this bowl is left by your mother, at the moment there are only two left, and the rest are letting you fall." Wife white husband a glance, said: "then you are not allowed to gas me later, I am also my mother left behind. 2, sleep in class: students sleep in class, was found by the teacher. Teacher: "Why are you sleeping in class?" Student: "I didn't sleep wow!" Teacher: "Then why did you close your eyes?" STUDENT: "I was meditating with my eyes closed!" Teacher: "Then why are you nodding your head straight?" STUDENT: "You were making a lot of sense!" Teacher: "Then why are you drooling?" Student: "Teacher, you said a lot of flavor!" 3, the neighborhood has a beautiful woman opened an animal clinic, a buddy and I could not help but go to talk to: Hello, may I ask here is to the animals to see the doctor? She smiled and replied: Yes! Buddy preempted the hospital bed: please give me a check, I'm a program ape! I am not willing to show weakness, immediately next to him lying down: also please give me a check check, I am a single dog! 4, a heavy rain, taxi back home, get off the car did not go two steps to find his cell phone is missing, thinking is not fall in the car. I hurriedly turned back to find the car to go, shouted a few words "master, stop!" Suddenly found the phone on the hand, looked up to see the car stopped, the master poked his head out and asked me what was the matter, so I was in a hurry and shouted: "rain, drive slowly!" Finished turning his head away, still can not imagine what his expression at that time. 5, I went out yesterday, want to eat a McDonald's. I went to the front of the store, and was told to go to the store, and I was told to go to the store. All to the store door, was told only the United States group order. Then I stood in the doorway to order, but also gave 9 dollars delivery fee, assigned a delivery boy. I stood shoulder-to-shoulder with the delivery guy at the door waiting to get it. The clerk took it out and handed it to him, and he handed it to me, and this action took my 9 dollars. 6. The doctor asked the patient how he broke his bones. The patient said, I think there is sand in the shoes, holding the pole to shake shoes. There is a pass by there, thought I was electrocuted, then copied the stick gave me two sticks! 7, a person raised a pig, annoyed, abandoned, but the pig knows the way back, a number of abandoned without success. One day, it drove around a lot of corners to abandon the pig, late at night to call his family, asked: "Is the pig back?" Answer: "It has returned!" Its roar: "Let it answer the phone, I'm lost! 8, the elephant accidentally stepped on the ants nest, the ants came out of the nest, have climbed to the elephant. The elephant shook its body and the ants fell down. At this time there is an elephant's neck, fell off the ants shouted "strangle it". 9, a day of computer class, there is a row of students' computers are dead. So a student stood up and said: "Teacher, the computer is dead, our row is all dead." At this point, many students said, "We are also dead." At this point the teacher asked, "Who else didn't die?" Only one student stood up, "I'm not dead yet!" The teacher said strangely, "The whole class is dead, why don't you die?" 10, a monkey to eat peanuts before they are shoved into the butt before taking out to eat. This administrator explained: someone fed it peaches, the results of peach kernel pull out, the monkey was scared, now must be measured before eating.

Girlfriend unhappy there is no giant funny jokes

You can go to the library to borrow a funny book, may help. Make a sentence with besides. Kids answer:The train is going really fast, besides besides besides besides besides besides 。。。。。。