I'm so anxious that I can't finish reading a book or writing a picture.
It's not because it's the end of the year and I'm busy with all kinds of work.
It's not because it's the end of the year and I'm actually not busy.
This word out inevitably let life hate: we are busy every day, even to the toilet all the way to run, busy coping with a variety of summaries, a variety of statements, a variety of plans, open never finish the meeting, plus never finish the class, you do not have the pressure of work on the side of the people anxious you are not busy, is the intention of pulling the hate.
I understand very well. Because once I was one of them ah! Even I am still that private subordinates get together to spit people, I arranged a lot of end of the year work to them, and then I myself from the supervisor to take down a big pile of work, so, what "white plus black", what "very six plus one" all by the We collectively ate and staged, often the night was dark and cold outside, but inside the lights were bright and hot. If you can come home from work one day to eat dinner, you need to make a reservation with the chef at home, otherwise you won't be able to have your share. After so many years of living like this at the end of the year, I subconsciously believe that this is what the end of the year should be like. Once you don't need to work overtime, you don't bury your head in writing reports, you listen to the wind outside the window every day as it wanders among the leaves, taking away a piece of gold, and you look at the occasional hint of clouds in the blue sky and stare at it. Staying anxious, this is the end of the year ah, how can I not busy?
This is a time of collective anxiety.
Children anxious about homework or so much, young people anxious about the uncertainty of the future, middle-aged people anxious about the most, mortgage, car loans, fast being counseling children homework drive crazy also catch up with the bottleneck of the career, really nothing is easy, is easy to grow fat and become greasy, the elderly anxious about their own bodies, afraid of getting sick, afraid of dragging down the children ... .... All kinds of anxiety everywhere, a place of chicken hair.
What makes people more anxious is that the first batch of 90-year-olds will actually be thirty soon. After 90 ah, those in our eyes the little kid, actually has reached the age of the standing. Office thirty years old men of age to the hairline boiled to the center of the head, in the office to speak significantly louder, abandoned the hanging ears of coffee, with a thermos bubble berries, began to talk about the mid-life crisis. Immediately let thought to have been certified to practice arts female middle-aged a stumble, does it mean that I have stepped into the old age, to start raising flowers and practicing writing to play DSLR in order to go back to get a new qualification. Although I do raise flowers and practice writing to play micro-single, but I thought that is to improve the self-cultivation of the literary paradigm, I'm still that every day seems to be casual, actually carefully with clothing and accessories, feet on high heels in the office to deal with a variety of complex, simple and cumbersome affairs, so that the subordinates love and hate middle-aged female executives. It is two years of uninterrupted herbal juice, not only slowly let my condition can be maintained in a more ideal state, but also let me wake up to realize that I have entered a new kind of crisis: my home downstairs that has always called me auntie shampooing little girl the day before yesterday cried with me, there is a come to the hairdressing of the children called her "auntie", after zero zero years with a compelling Post-zero-zero, with her forceful youthfulness, is on the line, so I'm still that "auntie", and she has become an "auntie", thanks to Post-zero-zero, letting her equalize her seniority with me, but I don't have the good sense to grab the mid-life crisis with the Post-80s and Post-90s again, who let themselves be Post-60s? Who let himself after the six-zero, although only a few months difference with the seven-zero, is still mercilessly included in the six-zero after the roaring big team. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this, but I'm going to be able to do it, and I'm going to be able to do it.
However, I can't be anxious with the post-fifties and square dance companions and can't go on this trip, and I can't enjoy unlimited time freedom like them, I'm still limited to the office by the 9am-5pm working hours every day. The "new middle-aged" are anxious about the loss of youth, uncertainty about the future, and the lack of money and expenses. Ahem, this is the same anxiety of the middle-aged and the old. I can not integrate into the post-five-zero, but also with the post-eighty-nine-zero there is a clear generation gap, I am in the middle of the gap between old age and old age difficult to find space, and then anxiously found that there is no suitable place for me to stand. Then I anxiously realized that there was no place for me to stand. So the sense of crisis became stronger and stronger. This sense of crisis is like the menopause, some like the spring breeze, lightly over, some like a tornado hit, the sky and the earth is not hate, in the final analysis is just two words - anxiety. How can we talk about success or failure without anxiety and how can we talk about life without crisis? The same way, everyone has to go through the menopause, everyone has to experience it, in the menopause has not yet come to start anxiety, why the pain to carry!
Still, I'm talking about my anxiety. In fact, I am just inertia, always feel that the end of the year in the tide of work to fight some, in the friends "end of the year is very busy," the sound of concern, in the crackle of the keyboard sound to get a trace of inexplicable satisfaction, only to feel that there is no wasted this year. Work every year, overtime in the middle of the year is also common. But why is it that at the end of the year, all the people are fully committed to their own faults, regardless of whether it is true or false, are busy in the dark, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy. This tense and exciting atmosphere, let me this by the doctor, relatives, colleagues, friends repeatedly urged to get well, not to labor people also like lying on pins and needles, fidgety. Thinking carefully for a long time, I heard the "Jingle Bells" music coming from the street, and saw the advertisements of "Double Day Sale" of the merchants, and only then realized: the calendar on the desk, which is very ceremonial, has been torn to a few, and the time is getting thinner and thinner, and another year is coming to an end. The time is getting thinner and thinner, and another year is coming to an end. The anxiety triggered by this painful sense of time's rapid passage is like the annual winter flu, which is highly contagious. As the years go by, the only thing that can relieve our worries or cover up our anxiety about the passing of years is to be busy. Covering is not disappearing, the flowers are thankful for the results, the clouds scattered sky eyes, life still has been continuing, so anxiety this kind of trouble by human self-seeking will also have been accompanied by our left and right.
It seems to be a bit too pessimistic, after all, the resignation is still a pleasant thing. My nine-five-year-old Mimi Pig always loves to think about how to obtain enough wealth in a short period of time by proper means, and at the same time, she laments that the future is unpredictable, don't be blindly busy, and she also doesn't forget to advise her middle-aged mother to live in the present, to be kind to herself. So, well, since all the people are anxious, I'm not the least of them. I'm going to have fun while I still have energy and my body can still take it. Today is Christmas Eve in the West, so it's better to be peaceful and joyful. Christmas has evolved from a religious holiday to a global festival, and now it is given more meaning to encourage people to share their happiness and care for each other, so what is there to be anxious about?
Walking in the not-so-cold Christmas Eve under the starry sky, fresh air, and the hidden fragrance of the plum, so fresh that I seem to realize for the first time the existence of air. Suddenly, I remembered that in this winter, I had clearly and completely seen the ginkgo biloba leaves from green to yellow, witnessed the beautiful little fan being blown by the wind away from the branches of the tree after the swirling floated down, wearing a comfortable flat shoes in the warm winter sun when stepping on the ground full of golden yellow solid. I realized that my so-called anxiety is nothing more than the sadness of "listening to the rain at the window" and the sadness of "blowing the flute diagonally", which is really pretentious. The beauty of time, do not give up day and night, such as the clear winter sky, look up are beautiful, low all are colorful. The beauty of life, only in how you treat, good and bad points, the feeling of sadness and happiness, all from the individual heart. If we have been so anxious, so anxious to fight for me, and then a stream of smoke quickly disappeared, then we in the end where to go?
? We will eventually cross, it is those sensitive and fragile parts of their own emotions ah. Dongpo said, "this heart is my home", let go of those trivial, let go of those unnecessary comparison, but also let go of their own inner tangles, peace of mind in the present, everything is naturally sufficient and beautiful. When we lose the old times, can also rely on memory to have, and will be surprised to find that this is a better way to have, because those who lost, will never lose again.
The flickering lights of the city and the people hurrying to get there are holding each other back. The most important thing to remember is that you can't go back and forth between the two of them. When you are in pain, you don't have to hold on, just go with the flow. When we are mindful to remember the good moments, no longer obsessed with the misty future and irretrievable past, focus on the present time, will feel that this is really a very meaningful and very real thing, it is worth to do a do.
? The new year is fast approaching, and New Year's Eve is one of the best moments of the 365 days. Then let the real middle-aged people who can not find any crisis stage to accommodate the very happy mood to wait for the arrival of that old and new, the future is wonderful, waiting for you and me in the near future.