A rare Qingming took the time to return home, looking at the rolling traffic and bustling crowds, suddenly a feeling sprang up inside:
Nowadays, our generation, it is not that we do not filial piety, nor do we not pay attention to it. Sometimes it is just a lack of time, and can not give parents due companionship.
Time and space, personal development and long-lasting companionship. It seems that in this day and age have become absolute antonyms that cannot **** exist. We always have to choose between them, maneuver around, and make a choice.
I remember when I was a child, my parents went to Shenzhen, I also did two years of left-behind children, the feeling of loneliness can be said to be a deep experience, inexplicable loneliness, lack of dependence on the life of those who believe that the children are separated from their parents, more or less will be some of this loneliness.
In "A Brief History of the Future", there is a passage that says: "Medical science has prolonged the life of mankind, and mankind is no longer equal, and immortality is just around the corner. Though I don't believe that the whole immortality thing is going to happen in our generation. But the development of medicine is really prolonging our life, which forces us to start thinking about a question, the second half of our parents' generation, how to go to live?
Of course, I can't completely empathize with this kind of life after all, after all, I haven't reached that so-called retirement age of 60. According to current medical standards and advancing technology, China's life expectancy will reach 79 years by 2030. This is also discounting the life expectancy of various people who die due to accidents, diseases, and unintentional deaths, and I believe that many of our generation's parents' generation will live to be around 100 years old. So the question is, if you retire at 60, what are you going to do for the next 40 years?
Although I also know that the best antidote against loneliness is companionship. But contrary to expectations, the best development for young people is to go to the big city, free to collaborate and grow. But we were not born in the big city, drifting means uprooted, but also means that the long-lasting companionship becomes a waste of time. The parents of our generation have already reached this age, and the lack of children's companionship will be a long-term theme.
And the parents, for this status quo, the second half of life is only so many kinds of life:
One, for the children with children, retirement life around the grandchildren to start, to the grandchildren grew up, will soon be bedridden.
Second, and the old partners have nothing to do with square dancing, to participate in the recreational activities of the elderly community, such as hiking, traveling, and so on.
Third, continue to engage in their favorite occupation, and has been working.
Although the remaining time is 40 years, but after entering the old age, a lot of physical and mental began to degenerate, can do more and more things become less and less, even if you can play a little bit of residual heat, but also in the repetition of the first half of the life is just. For this lack of companionship, the value of the society in the status quo and continue to reduce, parents generation actually how to live the second half of life?
The answer is: start living on your own again.
In fact, many parents do lack the spirit of self-reliance, such as always feel that the other half of their own care is not enough; a one-child decomposition of the burden of their own; afraid of contact with new things, and to do new attempts.
Perhaps you're asking what this has to do with self-reliance? This is actually a manifestation of the inability to stand on their own two feet, not that they can't take care of their own lives, but as they get older, their minds get older. Mentally, they are unable to make decisions independently, afraid of new things and questioning themselves. But life is their own, good or bad happy and only they can understand, why let others to tell you how to live a life?
I remember reading an article many years ago, the general content is an old mother's confession, she has a collection of thousands of favorite son, and then started a family. The first time I saw this article, it was about an old mother who had a son who had a lot of love and affection, and then she moved to the same neighborhood as her son, and she was busy helping her son and daughter-in-law with their household chores, and she took her grandchildren to and from school every day. This seemed to be the entire life of this old mother after retirement. Until one day, the locks on her son's door were suddenly changed. After that, they heard the son and daughter-in-law's quarrel, roughly speaking, an old mother of the son and daughter-in-law too much interference in life, resulting in a series of conflicts, so the daughter-in-law finally could not stand it, changed the locks on the door of the house.
Of course, the hard-working old mother was chilled by this incident. After some reflection, she decided to go out traveling with her old partner two people, at the same time began to learn new things, such as using WeChat, using Taobao. Once dark and worrying life, all of a sudden became open. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law also began to become harmonious. Just in this disliked later years, life suddenly has a new direction.
In fact, when I saw this story, I was quite touched. Helping your children with their children and living the rest of your life around them seems to have become the norm. Unbeknownst to me, true happiness should be having an independent life in the second half of life.
After retirement. Time has become a large number of free, those who used to be young hobby ah, some have not yet realized the small dream ah, can take advantage of the large amount of free time to complete. Even if it's just dancing, traveling, or even a young hobby.
Don't always think that your children need you to take care of them. The capable ones don't need to, because they'll think your way of bringing up children is old-fashioned and outdated. The ones who can't afford it, can't wait to have their own children, so you can take care of them with your own money and effort, and if you continue to do so, you'll be condoning it and framing it.
Don't always think of yourself as a senior citizen, it's not an excuse. Learn to accept new life and people, go to a new life. Take my father for example, originally he was also a bad old man, every day the park walk, and old friends have nothing to eat dinner, bragging. Then by chance, he went to a company to run business, dealing with young people every day, and later joined a mountain climbing community, really enjoy life. The first thing I'd like to say is that I don't think I'm going to be able to do that, but I do think I'm going to be able to do that.
In fact, there are times when parents should have a little bit of this spirit, independent life. In fact, after retirement, the meaning of life is another big shuffle, before to the family's livelihood, work struggle. Suddenly idle, the mission is over. Do nothing, should retire and wait for death? This is not the meaning of life.
Those for the Zhang parents and Li family short, mother-in-law and mother-in-law of small things, should not be the whole life after retirement. Those mother-in-law and daughter-in-law wars, the fight of kaiju, also should not be the time schedule after retirement. The real life, in any time of life, go to do what they feel interesting, no longer trapped by the world, can make themselves happy.
The meaning of life is that as long as you live independently, you go after what you want. That's what life is, not living.