But real life is complex and changeable, you even encounter what kind of people, experience what kind of things, what will happen to the psychological changes do not know, you do not have a demon-detecting mirror, how can you know what will become of their future? Moreover, we don't know when to turn off and unplug the power, it's almost an infinite game, you may change several jobs and go to several places, how many years old are you to grow up? Which job is your "grown-up" dream?
After retirement, surrounded by a group of elderly heterosexuals, you find yourself in a square dance, then you can say that the previous days are all in vain?
If you think about what you are in this life early, this is called "premature identity", which is a shortcoming, you have to change. You haven't drank the stinky hot and sour noodles, you haven't seen a beautiful woman with a red mole on the tip of her nose, and you haven't climbed Mount Tai on your knees.
You may say, not right ah, those successful people, heroes and models are not all from a young age have a great ambition, and then work hard, and finally to the peak of life?
If you were a reporter, you would write the same way, you have to give his success a reasonable, people like to accept the explanation, or your readers, viewers should not calm down.
But the reality is that we don't even know what we're going to have for dinner tomorrow night, so how can we possibly explain a life event that spans decades?
While everyone talks about dreams, you may be moping around because you didn't have much ambition as a child, or frustrated because you had ambition and didn't realize it.
That's not necessary!
Identity prematurely closes the mind and can block out all other possibilities. It's fine if you don't have setbacks, if you do you'll have more trouble. Some setbacks are just attempts, too normal, and when they fail, the average person will think about changing direction, but people with premature identity not only don't think about changing direction, they double down, and righteously exclaim that I want to be "ALL IN".
This is just like an entrepreneur who realizes that his strategy is not working well, and not only doesn't pull out, but continues to invest more to bring the business back, which is a sign of unwillingness to admit failure.
If you bet your identity on one thing, and have to take an impossible task to the black, then you will pay a huge price.
You may say again, not right ah, people have to adhere to something, right, have to have the original intention, nothing to adhere to certainly not ah! The degree of adherence and non-adherence and where is it?
This degree is in the identity, of course, to do things to have the spirit of perseverance, but do not insist on the degree of their own identity to bet on this matter.
No success, give up, even if you do not do this work, you are still you, or that in the circle of friends grabbed the red envelope will be dejected original you, do not think, if I do not do this thing, I am not me.
The mountain, right there, even if you did not ascend, you are still you, just this thing failed, those who have the strongest perseverance of the climber is more likely to die in the process of climbing, he will do whatever it takes to reach the top, because he put himself all bets on it, not to climb that mountain, he can not account for himself.
And, treating your job as an identity can undermine your ability to do that job well.
Some people have done research specifically, those children who grew up with the ambition to become scientists, to a certain age, often realize that real scientists are too powerful, they really can not do, but also to give up. On the contrary, those who have nothing to be a scientist ideal, just like to do scientific experiments, persisted.
They like to "do science" rather than "be a scientist", and they don't need to define themselves as scientists, let alone use that identity to support themselves to survive.
When you get older, you tend to get more and more confused, "I was born to be a scientist", what the heck am I good for? Who am I? You have to realize that life is very long, and you haven't tasted enough of the sweet and sour, so it's unlikely that you'll come across something you like to do all at once. Moreover, you are also always changing, as a child like the white lady, but grew up on the husky love, each stage of you is different, suitable for the career role is also different.
No need to be an identity tossed to feel unhappy, the fact is that when you feel unhappy, you should change is your own, rather than the external environment, to travel, go to faraway places that can only let you see some different things only, can not solve your deep metropolis.
You should go to find those who let you tirelessly, tirelessly can always do things, rather than do what "home", so it seems that "driving a digger" is better than "being a scientist! "The first is an act, and the second is a role, driving a digger, even if it is not good, I am still me, only in this matter is not as good as it is, not to rise to the point of self-doubt.
People are an open system, taking different routes to get to the same place, and going from the same place to different places.
Because of this open nature, the work, the contribution, the meaning and the happiness are all something you find out for yourself, not something you know from the beginning.