I understand what she means, life is less special "meaning", lack of some rich colors.
1, a hobby, teach me to focus and dedication
I love to dance, and it seems to be a natural love since birth.
When I was a kid, I was singing and dancing with my sister in the big yard in my hometown, and my grandma and my little brother clapped and shouted, and I was happy to see it.
Read the kindergarten, the first June 1 Children's Day show, I led the dance in front of the stage, jumped and ran to my mom. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a good deal on a new product, but I'm sure you're going to be able to get a good deal on a new product! The first thing I want to do is to make sure that I have a good understanding of what I'm doing and how I'm doing it.
It turns out that doing what you like can also make your mom happy.
Fifth grade, a three-school co-organized June 1 Children's Day, more than a thousand people in the venue. It was the biggest stage I've encountered in my 30 years so far.
I enjoy dancing, I enjoy the stage, and I enjoy the focus of pure dedication.
Just by being on stage, you create a separate and transparent space for yourself, where you are free to express, free to perform, free to show your presence. The applause, the stares, the compliments, the favorites, and even the pride of your parents are just external testimonies.
I also clearly remember the innocent longing eyes when I secretly hid in the corner in order to learn to dance. The first time I saw this, it was a very good thing that I was able to get a good look at it.
These are the happiest childhood memories. The thought of it all still makes your heart pound with excitement.
2. It also taught me to love beauty and self-confidence
After enrolling in the university, I came into contact with many different kinds of dances.
The first time I came into contact with Latin, I liked the cheerful cha-cha-cha and the passionate samba. The girl jumped up, how lively and lovely ah!
I envy the beautiful figure of the female partner in the poster, and I envy the confident and free expression on their faces, as well as the passionate vitality emanating from their bones!
Who wouldn't want to be like that?
After all, what girl doesn't love beauty?
The two years of graduate school, I insisted on studying for two years, rain or shine, two classes a week.
If there's one thing I've gained, it's the solidity and confidence of having my feet on the ground.
The teacher said that every step needs to use the thrust of the feet on the ground, and must have contact with the ground, and the more solid the ground, the more solid and stable the pace. I suddenly realized what kind of experience it is to be grounded.
At that time, I was serious about learning and jumping. How to change the center of gravity, how to coordinate the limbs in a controlled manner, standing, sitting, waiting for the car, will be in the mind back and forth.
Slowly, the posture of a pose, a frame, a look of upright confidence, but also thought very talented.
3, in the moment of confusion, it took me back to the beginning
After graduation, three years of work, three years of interruption, has long lost the feeling of dancing.
Until the resignation, until the breakup event, until really can not think of what to do to pass the time, the only thing you can do, is to dance.
This time, I learned a new dance challenge - jazz.
The first day of the trial class, the teacher taught a hands from both sides of the waist gently caressing the action, clearly is very simple action, but I always do not taste right. I'm not sure what's wrong with that, but I'm not sure what's wrong with the way I look at it.
Until the teacher pulled me and another soft girl out to do a comparative demonstration.
"Look, her movements are not standard, but her expression is on point. Your movements are standard, but your expression is so awkward."
That's the word, "awkward", by the way. It's really awkward to touch. （
It turns out that intimate contact with one's own body can be strange and unfamiliar to the point of extreme coyness and discomfort.
Back home, I hid in my room and secretly practiced until I was comfortable.
The next day, I went to practice, and the teacher said, "You're not as embarrassed, but your expression is too serious.
I still can't get the hang of it, I'm not dancing very seriously? I don't know what else I need to look like to dance.
Then one time, my friend recorded a video of us dancing, and I realized that I was concentrating on my own expression in the standardization of movement, and that expression could be described as a concentrated, furious stare. In addition to the hard action, there is no soft beauty and enjoyment to speak of.
Dancing is about enjoying yourself. When did I forget my original intention of chasing the right thing?
The teacher said, "Relax, you are always holding a breath in your chest, try to relax and let it out.
But if you do, your whole body will collapse, so how can you relax?
In two months of training, I still haven't learned to relax in a controlled way.
But gradually I found myself: Dance is not just about movement, it requires emotional commitment and connection to the body and the music. The more you push, the more you learn to relax.
4. Tango, embracing and walking to music
After three years of continuous work, I began to say goodbye to this hobby.
Gradually, I got used to the boredom of working day in and day out, as if I had forgotten what was really important in life, and I was slowly confined to the life in front of me, and could not see any more possibilities.
After I quit my job in 2016, it seemed like I had reopened a door, found the curiosity that I had neglected for a long time, and tried everything I liked again.
It's amazing how every time I've reconnected with dance since stepping into the workforce, it's been associated with a drastic life-career adjustment.
By coincidence, I was introduced to tango.
Before the class, I was confident that I had tried every type of dance, even if I wasn't good at all of them. Tango, naturally, is not a problem.
However, the first class was a slap in the face.
"My dear, I can see that you have danced before, but you don't seem to be too comfortable with a close connection between two people, please be more sincere when you embrace me." Ms. Peopeo said bluntly.
I was indeed at a loss for words as to how to hug her or how to be hugged in a natural way.
Cautiously, I didn't dare to explore my hands, for fear of forgetting a movement, for fear of taking a wrong step.
"You don't need to memorize moves or be too smart, you just need to stick to your guns and follow well."
Dancing to learn the movements was once my proudest skill, but now suddenly said, do not need to memorize the movements, I was a bit flustered, do not know how to dance this dance.
Before I got over it, a more direct "criticism" came. "Please, you are now off duty, do not need to be a queen, can you remove your armor defense, put down your stand, do a quiet follow the woman."
Drop the shelf? Where do I have any shelves, and how to put down the word?
Quiet? I am not in the honest and quiet to learn to dance?
This is the first time I've ever seen a woman in the world.
I've been learning to dance by memorizing the right moves and following the standard steps, but suddenly it doesn't work anymore.
Ms. Peopeo said, "Close your eyes, don't think about anything, don't care about anything, hold on to the axis, and just follow me."
At first, I was scared, and secretly worried, "What if I jumped wrong? I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to keep up with it. The teacher will look at me how? Will not think I'm too stupid?" The first thing you need to do is to get a good deal of money to pay for it. You are even more worried that all of this suspicion will be through the body language, so that the other side to see the right.
What would give you peace of mind?
A safe, supportive hug.
Ms. Peopeo's hugs seem to have a super healing and hypnotic effect, and when you are held, you are held.
Close your eyes, let go of everything, and feel the rhythm and breath of the two people in the music, and unconsciously they are in sync.
A wonderful exchange and connection.
Tango is not about dancing, it's about embracing and walking to the music, and I'm starting to understand what that means.
Even just walking in an embrace requires very clear boundaries of roles for each other, men being men and women being women. One person is responsible for leading, one person is responsible for following. Holding on to their own separate spaces, they build the space for a duo dance through the embrace.
As a female partner, you can't depend on your male partner, let alone cling to him. You have to use all your strength to hold yourself up and remain upright and independent. You can't cross the line and change the other person, you can only put all your energy into yourself.
The more you can control yourself, the stronger and softer you can remain consistent inside and out.
The more you can trust and follow without control, the more you can come out of the dance of quiet harmony.
The process of learning tango is like learning to be a woman again.
What's even more interesting is that in dancing with different people***, you can realize how different everyone is in this dance, in this relationship.
It's also like looking in the mirror and seeing yourself differently in different relationships.
I hope that this dance of relationships can go on and on, and that it will bring out your confidence and yourself.
When I was a child, my preference for dance was purely for self-entertainment and amusement, but as an adult, I have added the pursuit of "love of beauty", and after I became a socialized person, my will to pursue "correctness and standard" became so strong that I could hardly control myself. The first thing I'd like to say is that I don't know what to do.
I never dreamed of becoming a dancer, I just wanted to do what I love, focus on enjoying the process, and focus on exploring and understanding myself in the process.
I hope you find the love of your life.
Regardless of the gains and losses, it will always be with you and grow with you.