We have often heard the term "soul mate", and I have seen many men clamoring for a soul mate every day, so what is a soul mate?
After interviewing several men, I found that the soul mate in the eyes of men is indeed very uncomplicated, a person who can understand the depth of their own hearts, a person who can fill the garden of their hearts.
Self-esteemTo the point that they do not have too many external provisions of the soul mate, as if Liao Yimei in the "soft" will often say: "Everyone is very lonely, in the life of the guys, meet love, meet the endurance is not uncommon, novelty is to meet the mastery." Simply put, a man's "soul mate" rule is "to meet a woman who understands herself". Emotional absorption of boys, in addition to sexual digestion, maintenance desire, but also similar to their brothers in the middle of the kind of mutual trust, understand him, as well as become his "soul mate". Because of the male and male center, there is no gender difference, so naturally it is easier to grasp, as if the woman and the woman center, it is easier to understand each other a vision.
Some women can't understand the practical value of providing a mindset for men, and are very "work", so men can't provide for her in the human body. In this way, she can make men cling to the object, about the only thing left is "sex". This is a little bit harmful, if the man in the human body does not lead to the girlfriend with the help of, just rely on sex, indeed can not be long-term. So if you need to become his soul mate and be more attractive to him, you must also have a lot of male consciousness. Why doesn't he want to make you pay, but wants to spend a lot of money when his brother is having a hard time?
Because his brothers more grasp him, more understand him, usually more to want to help him, but you are just his usual with some compounds investment projects and mindset practical value to worship up, to the family have an account, but also to let others understand that he has a girlfriend (daughter-in-law), looks more all normal pillow side only. Thus, girls, if you can understand men, you will also get a magnificent gain, the more you understand him, the more y he loves you. Only need to master the provisions of the man, you can communicate with the man calmly, and can even experience communication, so that the man is more y in love with you to spoil you.
Communication with men, a rely on the dead skin, the second to rely on mastery. "Mastery" is to control their own mental state, master the difference between men and women, when he is in poor condition, the choice of mastery of non-violent communication.
For example, if you see a man worried, you are very cold, at this moment you do not panic because of the other side of you are very cold, and then entangled with the other side to "care for him", in many cases, your "care" has been to make the other party In many cases, your "care" has been making the other party feel very burdened. You can say: "because you are currently encountering a lot of things, I'm sure that can be resolved, you need and I *** enjoy resources, I am always all in". Understand men, "understand" the word and not simply grasp and grasp, just you really step into the other party's heart, grasp him in the end you want to do.
Practical valueWomen who figure out how to nourish a man's self-esteem, figure out how to fully utilize the practical value of a man in your place, then he will never leave you in this life! When the man took off the mask, showing itself more sensitive side of the situation, he wants to think of the other side of the comfort rather than reprimand, at this time you have to constantly agree with his practical value.
Many girls all have a very big wrong view, think only I can get a wonderful love, they care about the perfectionist excellent, and forget to become the man's "soul mate". The vast majority of people's eyes is the general public feel this kind of, it is mainly manifested nowadays high education, high position, have the dominant power quite, have a house and a car this kind of. Substantial excellence is mainly manifested as high emotional intelligence, ideological awareness, good at communication, humor and confidence this kind of.
If you mandatory norms are abundantly excellent, then the pursuit of your undoubtedly a lot of people, but they love your people, is your such excellent norms, it is not very good to say. If you are excellent in substance, abundantly attractive, then the pursuit of your people will also be a lot, and a lot of them are due to the love of you as a person, by your body of the color of the digested. As you can see, the two aspects of the outstanding is not enough, we have to reach the whole aspect of the outstanding.
From the point of view of time efficiency and difficulty, it is more time-consuming and arduous to make oneself more and more mandatory to be outstanding. If you're allocated a lot of money to make yourself more and more outstanding, 2 years in the past, but the other party has already had a favorite person, and their own age is also increased. On one level, it is not easy to become a woman who understands him, if you can grasp him more strongly, you can also be very good past this life.
In the matter of soul mates, there is often a misunderstanding that two people who are similar on many levels are considered soul mates,but sometimes inconsistency is another kind of fit. Consistency does jeopardize whether two people are attracted to each other and whether they can come together. But the real decision about how well they go together underneath and for the long haul isn't how consistent they are, just how complementary they are, and real soulmates are usually able to achieve complementarity in inconsistency.
In my counseling situation, I often hear a phrase from help-seekers referred to as, "He doesn't understand me." Meaning, I've ****ed with him but can't get a recognizable response. Over the years, there has been a half-joke on the internet called 'Straight Cancer'. It is a girl's way of flirting with the idea that straight men of steel are a radically different breed with vastly different brain capacities. I told him how I felt, he couldn't understand, and I didn't want to talk about it. What was the misunderstanding behind this? -- "He should care about you. If he doesn't get it, he's not a lover." People expect too much from the other party to care about you, and that's why they get cold feet.
I wanted so much to hear him say, "I understand you, I'm the same as you." That way . I feel like, ah, I'm finally in a sea of people looking for someone like me. But you need to understand that a good marriage relationship doesn't have to be about finding people who are radically the same.
But a harmonious marital relationship does not have to involve two people who are in agreement.Concordance is the greatest idealization: I am one with you, and there are no differences. But what if they just don't agree? There is another construct of harmony in the marriage relationship called complementarity. In my counseling experience, this construct is often overlooked by others. And the assistance it produces to the marriage relationship is usually much higher. What is mutually reinforcing? It literally means to complement and supplement each other. Let me give you 2 examples to help you understand this definition. First, imagine an interface: back-to-back battles.
The two men are facing opposite directions, the houses are not facing the same way, and each direction has its own disadvantage, which is the back. But this disadvantage is compensated for by the other side, which creates a 1 1 > 2 fighting ability. In the second example, imagine an initial sale. Two people, one producing ingredients and the other producing clothes and pants, are doing different jobs. But socio-economics tells us that, based on the exchange, both of them will be able to have food and clothing and live happily ever after. The similarity between these two examples is that the 'inconsistency' in turn produces resources for them. Because of the inconsistency, the two people are more compatible with each other. If two people were dealing with the same orientation or practicing the same kind of manufacturing, it would have been crippling and limiting for them as an overall elite team. Did you see that? They don't always agree.
This at first sounds counterintuitive to everyone's judgment. As consistency is the starting point for everyone to cause attraction. You can feel less alone if some people are like you. Everyone is every one of them has a deep sense of powerlessness and fear of being treated as a half-orc. Imagine you go to the area alone, no one to rely on the situation, met a person: we are the same hometown, is a classmate, we find topics have similar preferences, have *** the same language, have together with the pot of friends and rivals, that kind of feeling is especially happy. You can feel that you won't be alone anymore, that there are people like you. It's the best-understood happily ever after in a marital relationship: you ****enjoy your distinctive areas to this person. He says to you that he is the same. All at once you feel seen and think: 'this person cares about you'.
But if we focus too much on consistency, the adverse effect is that we will eventually expect destruction. Because there will be no one in the world who knows you completely. Men and women can't get a complete agreement on the deep feelings from the physiological gender, not to mention the natural environment, education, personality traits, and so on.
If you feel that you have met a soul mate who is one in a million, who is in complete agreement with you, and who is in love with you in every little way, then it is definitely an illusion. As we've talked about before, as the passionate session goes on, you can find more and more areas of dissimilarity. If you pursue perfect consistency too much, you will feel that "we are not the same is very groovy". People often use a term called "three views of incompatibility" these days. This term actually leads to a not-so-good implication.