The book Death of Love is mentioned in it. The author of this book is Han Bingzhe, a German thinker of the new generation. He mainly studies ethics, social philosophy, aesthetics, religion and media theory in the 18th-2th century. He is good at analyzing and criticizing the human mental state in the digital information age with fresh writing style, clear thinking and sharp expression, and is known as "a new star in German philosophy".
His book focuses on the issue of love desire in contemporary society, pointing out that love means melting oneself and acknowledging the other, which means a certain degree of negativity, but these are contrary to the emphasis on self, consumerism and utility in modern society, so pure love is becoming more and more difficult to happen, and society is becoming more and more like a homogeneous hell.
at first glance, this view is quite shocking, and even makes people a little pessimistic. Let's talk to you about the essence of this book, which mainly includes three aspects: the reasons for the disappearance of love, the influence of the disappearance of love and the re-creation of love.
There are three main reasons for the disappearance of love.
1. excessive narcissism
what is "narcissism"? Narcissism is different from self-love.
Self-love is simply accepting yourself, and at the same time acknowledging and tolerating the existence of others; But narcissism is to pay too much attention to the self, expand the self infinitely, project one's own values, prejudices and emotions to the whole world, and feel that one is the center of the world. It can also cause some diseases, and depression is a typical example.
if a person is too narcissistic, love is hard to happen. Because lust means selflessness and self-sacrifice. For entering love, the English expression is "fall in love", that is, "fall in love"-not standing on it, not walking into it, but "fall in". This is a very apt expression, literally, you can clearly feel some sense of weakness of yourself in the face of love, and it is willing to melt itself and integrate with each other.
On the other hand, to treat narcissism and depression, lust is a good tool, which can take us from "homogeneous hell" to "utopia of the other".
2. Overemphasizing people's subjective initiative
In the traditional disciplined society, the dominant control word was "should": people do something out of obedience to moral and social requirements, whether they like it or not.
In this modern and efficient society, the control word becomes "can": to do something is no longer out of requirements, but because of one's own ability and will.
on the surface, the latter can make people more autonomous?
No, the author says that "you can" is actually more compulsive than "you should". Because when the word "should" is used, it means that this is the power exerted by the outside world on the individual. If it fails, the responsibility is not entirely on the individual; But when using "can", it means that the source of will for action is transferred from the outside to the individual. If you can't achieve your performance, you will have to take full responsibility. After all, you can't go against your will. This excessive stimulation of personal initiative will also make people more stressed and self-exploited.
An example is entrepreneurs. They are free on the surface and don't have to submit to others who restrain themselves, but in fact they are also exploited, but the source of this exploitation is themselves! In order to make a living, they "decompose themselves into countless free parts and then exploit themselves inward". Therefore, in an efficient society, "exploiters are also exploited, just as perpetrators are also victims".
Even love and sex have been replaced by the performance principle, and people will value whether they can get a "balance of payments" in it. The best-selling novel fifty shades of grey is cited as an example in the book:
So love and sex have also become a consumption pattern, in which no negativity is allowed.
However, the conditions for the birth of love are just the opposite of the competitiveness and utility of an efficient society. It corresponds to "being powerless" and giving up self, and it is impossible to make ends meet. It pursues self-transcendence, rather than indulging in self-enjoyment advocated by consumerism.
love can't be a calculation. Otherwise, it is only a market transaction in the name of love at most. True love is strangled in it.
3. Lack of imagination
In the information age, as long as we move our fingers, we can know everything we want at any time, and we can easily communicate with anyone at zero distance.
This brings convenience to life, but it also brings some negative effects: imagination is slowly disappearing. Because the amount of information is inversely proportional to imagination.
Distance and lack of information can well mobilize people's imagination and make people idealize things. For example, the distant starry sky can stimulate people's endless reverie, which leads to countless poems, paintings and art; Flaubert's famous novel Madame Bovary arouses people's erotic imagination by avoiding vision.
Therefore, when information is too dense and imagination is suppressed, it becomes more and more difficult to produce love.
the disappearance of love has an impact on many aspects. What is more obvious is sex, and more deeply, it also has an impact on reason and soul.
1. Sex degenerates into pornography
What we see here is shocking: pornography ≠ sex!
Sex is vital and reaches the inner depth, while pornography is only naked sexual behavior, which is the primitive animal sexual expression.
In modern society, people's attitudes towards sex are beginning to become tolerant and open, and sex is not as taboo as before. Therefore, at the moment when love is dying out, the main threat to sex is not the traditional moral concept, but it is more likely to be destroyed by pornography-deprived of vitality and deep experience, removed from mystery, turned into a simple "movement" and became a display tool. For example, "ghs" has become a national entertainment, and public figures also assume the function of being consumed.
Sex is a "duet dance", which touches, satisfies and blends with each other; Pornography is just a solo dance. In the face of pornography, people simply pursue self-satisfaction and will not have any interaction with the object, which undoubtedly further aggravates the narcissistic tendency.
at this time, what's the point of having more sex?
2. Degenerate passion and reason
Plato's theory of love holds that love is the source of all things, which guides all parts of the soul: desire, passion and reason.
But now, desire accounts for a large part of the soul experience, and passion and reason are gradually retreating. The experience of the soul becomes single.
The so-called "passion" of modern people is only temporary anger caused by unhappiness at best, not the anger of the ancient Greeks who are desperate to break the old and create the new.
and reason has degenerated. "Degenerate into data-based operations, and those uncalculated and unusual events are not within the scope of their operations."
on the surface, rationality and lust seem to be one of rationality and the other of sensibility, which have nothing to do with each other, but in fact they are closely related. Love can make reason full of power, it stimulates thinking and makes thinking full of energy because of anxiety.
This reminds me of a problem mentioned in Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: the conflict between modern science and technology and humanistic values.
This kind of conflict sometimes makes people feel that technology is cold and even causes anxiety. To solve this problem, it is not to escape from science and technology, but to break the traditional dichotomy-to re-integrate science and technology with humanities, rationality and art, to devote ourselves to scientific and technological creation with love, and to integrate subject and object. As Steve Jobs said: "The reason why Apple can resonate with people is because there is a humanistic spirit hidden in our innovation."
The integration with humanity can make rationality and technology rise to a higher level, which is driven by love.
Only love can truly save spirit and soul, save sex, save reason and make life more passionate.
In Dialogue with God, it is said that love is actually infinite, eternal and free, and they are all the same thing. Love leads people through various appearances, to the depths of the soul, and to obtain real deep pleasure, passion and peace.
If we want to feel pure love, we must have the courage to melt the boundaries of ourselves, feel the existence of the other and blend in with the other.
specifically, it is to transcend the complicated thoughts in one's own mind and expand the senses from self to others;
It is changing from being for yourself to being a human being, always thinking about what value you can create for others;
Keep your heart open and forget utility and calculation;
is gratitude and blessing at all times;
is to realize that "we are all one".
Finally, may love fill our hearts again, inject fresh energy, and make life truly change.