When a son or daughter grows up, it is natural for them to start a family, and then they will have grandchildren or grandsons. It is logical that both grandchildren and grandsons are connected by blood, one from the son's family and the other from the daughter's family, and they should be the same.
But the attitude of the elderly towards their grandchildren and grandchildren is not always the same, so is it the grandchildren who are close to them or the grandchildren who are close to them? Different old people will think differently, and this has to do with the circumstances of the son and daughter when they get married, depending on whether the son and daughter are married off or stay at home?
According to old traditions, it is usually the son who stays at home and the daughter who marries out. The children born to the son's family will inherit their family name and belong to their own family. The child born to the daughter's family takes the son-in-law's name and inherits the son-in-law's family name. In this case, the old man regards his grandson as one of his own people, and sees his grandson as an outsider, so naturally he is closer to his grandson.
But nowadays there are families with only one child, and there is no such thing as a marriage in the traditional sense. Now when faced with grandchildren and grandchildren, what will be in the hearts of the elderly? Here we listen to the heartfelt words of three elderly people.
Grandma Ge: 72 years old, I think the grandson pro
I have a son and a daughter of two children, these two children married according to the old tradition, that is, the son stayed at home, the daughter married to the in-laws. My grandson is a year older than my grandson, and I brought up my grandson and my grandson was brought up by my in-laws' mother.
In my heart and my partner's heart, of course, it is the grandson who is close to us, the grandson is from our family and the grandson is from my son-in-law's family. To us the grandson is an outsider, so it is natural that we, as an old couple, treat these two children differently. We are following the old rules, and our son's and daughter's families have no problem with it.
Old traditions aside, my grandson was brought up by me and has always been with me. He slept with me every night as a child, so of course he is close to me. But my grandson rarely comes to our house, and every time he does, he has to leave after dinner and never spends the night in my house, so of course he's not close to me.
But every time my grandson comes to my house, I still try to treat the two children the same as far as possible. For example, if I buy something for the kids, it's always one for the grandkids and one for the grandson. I think the grandson would be upset if I favored the grandson to his face, so I'm still pretty careful about that.
Mr. Wang: 69 years old, I think the grandson pro
I'm an old man, when my daughter was looking for a partner, my partner and I wanted to give her a home son-in-law. But my daughter was not willing to marry my current son-in-law, who is the only son of the family, of course, is not willing to come to my home as a door-to-door son-in-law.
After my daughter got married, she gave birth to a girl, who took her son-in-law's name. My partner and I wanted to take care of the child, but the in-laws and their wife wouldn't let go, saying that the child was with their family name and belonged to their family, and had to be taken care of by their grandparents.
Later, my partner and I thought about it, and my son-in-law's family didn't want us to take care of the child, so we didn't take care of it. Now we are an old couple who raise flowers and fish every day, and our partner goes to square dancing, and we entertain ourselves. The granddaughter wants to come to our home to play, we will be warm hospitality, do not come to play, we are not forced.
It's a good thing that I'm not the only one who's been in the business for a long time, but I'm sure I'll be able to help you. The first thing I'd like to say is that I don't know what to do with my grandchildren. However, my wife and I have neither grandsons nor grandchildren, but only one granddaughter. This granddaughter doesn't come to our house very often, so it's not really a question of whether she's a grandson or a grandson for us.
Grandma He: 56 years old, I am treating both children equally
I have two daughters, and I wanted my eldest daughter to stay at home and my youngest daughter to marry. However, the eldest daughter was looking for a man who was the only son of the family and refused to come to our house as a son-in-law, and the eldest daughter insisted on marrying him. We thought of letting the elder daughter marry out and letting the younger daughter stay at home, since we have two daughters anyway.
But the youngest daughter said what if she also found an only son and he didn't want to come as a son-in-law? We felt that the younger daughter was right, so we decided that we would not marry either of our daughters, and that we would treat them equally, and that we would be able to take care of both of them together in the future.
Later, my eldest daughter's family gave birth to a girl and my youngest daughter's family gave birth to a boy. We, the old couple, treated these two children the same, and regarded one of them as a grandson and the other as a granddaughter.
So in our family there is no question of whether the grandchildren are close, or the grandchildren are close. Our two daughters' children, both of whom are our grandchildren, have inherited the bloodline of our old couple, and we feel that these two children are as close as each other.
Conclusion:
Through the words of the above three old people, we can see that to speak of grandchildren or grandchildren, we have to look at other circumstances. If it is simply two children, then it is the same, both born of parents, are the grandchildren of the old man.
But if there is something else at stake, then in the old man's mind, the grandson and the grandson are definitely not the same. In fact, not only the old man is thinking this way, the children's hearts are also thought, everyone has their own position.
If you can't tell the difference between the positions, it's very easy to create family conflicts. So some things can not be helped, there must always be rules, in order to have a square circle. But no matter what, every child is a baby, adults have to love and care for children.
The old saying is that the next generation of relatives, people will be especially loving when they are old, like to be with their children and enjoy the fun of having grandchildren. So children should take their children to see the old man more often, which both filial piety to the elderly, but also set a good example for the child.