Someone on Knowledge asked, what is the most bitter time you have ever had?
Someone answered, when I was a kid, I couldn't finish my homework, I ran away from home for half a month, and I dabbled with food and drink everywhere.
Some people answer, the most bitter is the love.
Some people answer, at the age of 20, parents cut off financial support. The tuition fees for my junior and senior years were earned by me alone, and when I was poorest, I didn't eat in the mornings and evenings because the place where I worked only covered the midday meal.
Others said that people who belong to the sheep are the most bitter ......
These answers remind me of the first half of one of Xin Qiji's lyrics: "Young people don't know the taste of sadness, and they love to go up to the upper floors. I'm not sure if I'm a good person, but I'm a good person, and I'm a good person.
Many of the 80s and 90s will say helplessly, "I don't dare to die, because there is no one behind me.
Many of the people who say this have parents who are healthy, have savings, have health insurance, and not only don't drag them down in life, but also help them out.
They say this is just a kind of sick moaning, self-pitying and self-love without having experienced life's great sufferings and sorrows.
What do you want to do after retirement?
Around the world ah, to help their children to take care of their grandchildren ah, square dancing ah, to participate in the senior activities group ah, to go painting ah, writing ah ...... Yes, hard work for a lifetime, we can finally live for themselves after retirement.
At this time, it has passed the age of knowledge, experienced the ups and downs of life, savored the sweet and sour.
At that time, who would still think that skipping school as a child, falling out of love in middle school, and doing part-time work in college is suffering.
The young time, such as the breeze, more than a light good. We will be dumbfounded because we once had such an experience, and feel that life was really carefree at that time.
As the saying goes, "It's not bitter to suffer when you're young, it's bitter to suffer when you're old. As the second half of the words of Xin Qiji: now know all the sadness, want to say still rest. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that, but I'm going to be able to do that, and I'm going to be able to do that.
02
There is an 81-year-old grandmother who is very bitter in her old age.
The grandmother's name is Jiang Guiying, and although there is a word "Gui" in her name, her life is not expensive at all.
Her husband, because of lung disease, years can not physical labor. Her daughter, at the age of six, because of meningitis, stupid, paralyzed.
Such a life has been bitter enough, thought life has reached the bottom, but the fate of the flip-flop, can easily push people into a deeper valley.
At the age of 62, her son-in-law got cancer and gave her a newborn grandson of less than three pounds.
At that time, she could no longer do the laborious work, and had to go to Chengdu to find a job.
She found a restaurant to help wash dishes, and was fired after only one month. The boss was afraid of her age, and was afraid that the store would be held responsible for any mistakes she made.
Her husband, because of his poor health, helped people sweep the floor, brush shoes, but not long.
The family had four mouths to feed, two sick people and a toddler. The first time I saw this, I had no choice but to scavenge for food. Her scavenging, not as romantic as Sanmao, because she is burdened with a heavy reality.
At the beginning of the sneaky, afraid to meet acquaintances, after all, picking up garbage is too "cover people" (dialect, shame).
"In the old country, only the beggar to pick up garbage, but the family has to eat well." Speaking of the past, grandmother Jiang Guiying still shed tears of sadness.
Jiang Guiying went to the streets every day to pick up garbage, holding a doll in front of her and carrying a bag of garbage on her back, so she walked through the streets of Chengdu.
The price of the waste is not high: plastic bottles cost 80 cents a catty (16 pieces), paper shells 40 cents a catty, and cans are the most expensive at 3 yuan a catty.
"At that time, I set myself the goal of picking up 3 pounds of rice money back a day, just enough for the family to eat."
The daily meals were unchanged, two thin rice, a bowl of kimchi, "I now smell sauerkraut, have to shiver."
When the grandson was small, he couldn't afford to buy milk powder, so he fed his grandson rice paste.
Now, there is a food court in front of their place, but she never goes to buy food in the morning because it is expensive in the morning.
In the morning, three dollars and fifty cents of cabbage, in the evening as long as a dollar, the store also gave three celery.
Cut a pound of cheap meat every week and eat some oil flavor.
The reporter looked through the family's food, only one cabbage, three celery, a handful of noodles, a little rice.
Yes, they don't eat oil. The pasta and rice are still a gift from a good Samaritan.
03
Relatives sent half a bag of raw peanuts, she could not eat, specifically for the guests to eat.
The reporter ate one, peanuts put too long, has become soft, moldy. Granny did not eat their own do not know, but also full of anticipation waiting for the reporter's favorable comments.
She seems to think that this hospitality is too shabby, continue to rummage through the box, only to find half a bottle of white wine, said, I give you a little pour.
The reporter could only politely decline with a bad liver.
Lunch at home, just one person a bowl of half-dry rice. Jiang Guiying greeted the reporter to eat together, the reporter to see their life bitter cold, really can not eat.
Back and forth a few times to persuade the grandmother voice trembling, eyes with tears, hand to the reporter in front of the reporter, turned to the reporter to see: "You see, I carefully washed the hand, the bowl has been washed, clean, not dirty. "
The grandmother thought the reporter suspected that she was dirty, and pitied an eighty-year-old old man's thin self-esteem.
Because she has had this experience many times: in the past, the scavenging route is farther, she had to take the car, was disliked by the passengers in the car.
The rented housing was very basic, and the sewer in front of the door smelled pungent and spicy.
Once, the kindly Spring brought a couple of young men to visit them. The toilet was clogged and the feces came out, so the young people covered their noses and ran away.
Such examples are numerous.
The grandmother's words were so sad that the reporter could only stay for dinner.
The grandmother looked at the reporter is willing to eat together, happy to walk out of the alley, in the opposite side of the pavilion to ask for a bowl of Mao Blood Want. And asked for some cooked vegetables, grabbed the money.
The boss played two bowls of rice to them, the grandmother was very happy, on the way back has been said: " This rice is no money. "
The reporter ate one bowl of rice, and the grandmother left that bowl for her grandson.
Jiang Guiying took half a portion of the Mao Blood Wanton, mixed it with the thin rice, and fed it to her daughter.
If they hadn't entertained the press, they might not have been able to eat so much at Chinese New Year.
03
The amount of money that can be gained from scavenging depends on the road, the time of year, and the season.
Downtown, summer, before six o'clock in the morning, the harvest will be more.
Summer drink more, before six o'clock, the sanitation workers have not cleaned the garbage cans, the garbage cans will still have overnight bottles.
The warmest days of the grandmother's scavenging career were spent on Chunxi Road.
The grandmother's memory is getting worse as she gets older, but she remembers all the people who helped her.
From her home to take the 6 bus to the second section of Hongxing Road, get off, walk a short distance to Chunxi Road.
There is a downtown, "business" is good, and it is a pedestrian street, the car can not drive in, the grandson followed her also safe.
A master Wang of the six cars understand her family's situation, do not want to ride her money, other masters in his drive also do not charge her money, so that she can save 4 yuan a day, for her half a day's income.
The grandmother said: " I still want to honor people, I have to pay, can not sit for nothing. "
" The master said, they are helping the country in driving, the country does not want your money. "
Some passengers disliked her for being dirty and didn't want her to get on the bus, " The bus is for pulling people, not for pulling garbage. "
Master Wang "Hedong lion roar" once, the grandmother's family told the passengers. The passengers never complained again, but also helped her carry bags and give up their seats.
Master Wang also often bring colleagues to her home to help.
" Come here is several people, delivering things, cleaning, do not rest a breath. "
" I called them to eat, they all said, which eat your meal oh ! After finishing the work, they left. "
Jiang Guiying in Chunxi Road, because of the distance, only eat two meals a day, morning and evening.
The owner of the Chunxi Road restaurant then invited her to eat for free, playing the meals are particularly large, can not finish but also let her take back to eat.
" To eat a few times, I'm afraid I'm dirty, affecting people's business, I did not go. The boss asked again, I said I had eaten. "
The residents of the supermarkets and neighborhoods near her home keep the bottles for her. They also helped her look after her grandson when she was out scavenging and brought him food.
There are also enthusiastic city officials who buy her noodles to eat.
One New Year's Eve, she was still scavenging with her grandson, and the city police drove them back to have a good New Year.
Then Guanjiyan was demolished, Jiang Guiying moved away from Chunxi Road, far away from Chunxi Road, and could not find a car to Chunxi Road, and sometimes the driver did not allow her to get on the car.
Now that she's older, her physical strength is poor, and she often gets dizzy, she doesn't dare to walk too far, so she disappears from Chunxi Road.
Those kind people on Chunxi Road gave her warmth, which she can never forget.
Helping Jiang Guiying is also " Sichuan Benefit Walking " QQ group of group owners - spring. There are more than three thousand members in this charity group, pooling money to help those in need.
When it got cold, Spring brought a dozen volunteers to see Jiang Guiying and sent her cotton wool, winter clothes, cotton shoes, towels, and food and oil.
Those who did not come to the group also greeted Jiang Guiying on their cell phones.
04
The grandmother is eighty-one years old, her health is getting worse and worse, and now she has a dizziness problem.
Her daughter can't take care of herself, so she has to eat, drink and sleep.
Every morning, Jiang Guiying carries her daughter to an outdoor bench, feeds her, takes her medicine, and then goes out to scavenge.
The stool was picked up by Jiang Guiying, and a hole was dug in the center of the stool. Her daughter could take care of her urination and defecation problems directly in the hole while she was out.
Her husband is seven years older than her, at 88, and has a serious lung condition. Lately, he can't sleep and wheezes against the wall until dawn, like he's pulling a bellows. He can't help her take care of her daughter at all.
Every day, when she comes back from scavenging, she has to help her daughter clean up her feces. Due to dizziness, it took half a day of squatting to get up.
She said: " Dizziness is still scary, in front of the eyes of the flowers and green, the house is spinning ."
Two days ago, when mopping the floor at home, fainted, lying on the ground for an unknown period of time before waking up.
Her husband could do nothing but stand by and cry with anxiety.
Now Jiang Guiying grandmother, only 68 pounds. She carried her daughter from the front of the bed to the outside of the house, she held the bed frame, a little bit of moving, walk a few steps, take a break.
A few short steps, she spent almost 2 minutes.
The doctor said she was dizzy because she was overworked and malnourished.
The doctor said that she was overworked and undernourished.
Now she can't walk far because of dizziness.
In the winter, when the sun comes up late, she doesn't dare to get up too early to scavenge for fear of fainting. It's cold and there are few people, so I'm afraid of accidents.
The grandson has already reached adulthood, and she feels that the task of life has been accomplished, and the future can only depend on him, and she can only help him here.
But looking at her daughter, who is paralyzed in bed, she feels that there is no end to this suffering.
"I'm 80 years old, I'm fully qualified to die."
She points to her daughter, "She has no nerves, no anxiety, no worries, she is not going to die."
"If she does not die, I cannot die."
Life was too hard for her to stay up. So she took out two or three days' income-12 dollars-and counted a life. The money was big money for her, and she usually didn't even bother to buy laundry detergent.
She only asked two questions: Why is living so tired?
She asked only two questions: why is she so tired of living and how long will she be tired?
The fortune teller said, "Everyone has their own destiny.
She is the only one of the five siblings left, and she is the one who suffers the most.
The doctor said that Jiang Guiying's husband's health would not last much longer.
" When he is gone, he has to be sent back home to Ziyang. "
" There are still trees on the mountain, cut to cut material (hit the coffin), but also can spend less money. "
This is Jiang Guiying's arrangement for the afterlife, living although bitter, but dead, or to return to their homes, a family reunion.
06
What touched me the most is that, although the life of Jiang Guiying's grandmother was hard and difficult, she still cleaned up neatly. Although she is already in her 80s and 90s, she still feels clean and fresh.
Some people suggested that she take her daughter to beg, Jiang Guiying grandmother did not agree, no matter how difficult, she wants to live with dignity.
Life is very heavy, but she lived a strong posture.