I don’t know how to introduce Agou, a man who is as lonely as a dog. In fact, Agou is no different from ordinary people, but he is also somewhat different from ordinary people.
Someone said: Everyone is a special existence. But if everyone is special, then everyone becomes less special, right?
Agou had to repeat his studies for two years before reluctantly going to college, so Agou had an inexplicable sense of inferiority, but he did not dare to take the initiative to make friends. He felt that he was out of tune with the classmates around him and his personality was not good. The difference is huge. Therefore, he had so few friends that he felt very lonely.
Agou always said: "Why do I still feel lonely when I have meat to eat, wine to drink, and a few good buddies?"
I opened my mouth. , what I originally wanted to say. But I don’t know how to answer Agou, just like I don’t know why Agou always likes to walk on that dark path surrounded by woods on both sides.
There is a kind of cold that no matter how many cotton-padded clothes you wear, you can't resist it, and that is "loneliness."
I think I know Agou very well! But sometimes I don't know what he is thinking? It's obvious that I'm as lonely as a lost dog, it's obvious that I have nothing but myself; it's obvious that I can still hide in the corner and shiver, but why do I have to make myself smiley and practice in front of the mirror every day to look less stiff? smile.
I asked him: "Man, what do you do for fun every day? Do you know that you look like an idiot when you smile?"
He said: "Man, I know I don't have many friends. , but you will still have no friends if you keep a straight face all day long, right? I know I am unhappy, but what will happen if you are unhappy? Others ask you why you are unhappy, and I also think about why I am unhappy every day. , but no matter how much I think about it, I am still unhappy.”
I chuckled and said, “Agou, I know you want to prove to others that you are unhappy, but you still smile so much. Brilliant, but you have to know that sometimes laughter has nothing to do with happiness. People often say that people who love to laugh are not very unlucky, but I want to ask, do you think people who are unlucky can laugh? They say that the most important thing in being a human being is to be happy, but you don’t even want to be a human being, so why the hell are you still talking to me about being happy?”
Agou turned his head away in embarrassment, speechless? right.
I pulled his head over and said to him: "Brother, it doesn't matter whether you are happy or not."
I touched his fat face with both hands and said to him Said: "I know you are lonely and boring. I also know the situation in your family. You feel that you are alone in this world and living a boring life. You don't know how to face your future. Yes, you don’t know what you want, and you don’t know if others would lie on your grave crying and fussing without you in this world. But don’t be afraid, you still have me, I have been here from the beginning. I'm with you, right?"
Agou turned his head and took a deep breath.
Afterwards, Agou had a nightmare. He screamed and woke up from the bed, gasping for air! The roommate threw a slipper over and shouted to Agou: "Why are you making such noise? Go to sleep."
Agou threw the slippers back, lay down again, took a breath and fell asleep slowly.
I asked him what he dreamed about? Agou hesitated for a moment, and then said slowly, he said that he dreamed that he was lying naked on the body of a strange man!
I stopped him and said: "Stop it, I think about it every day and dream about it at night. Brother, you must be gay!"
Agou dumped him I slapped him: "Brother! It's not like you don't understand me. Have you forgotten that there was a gay guy who wanted to have sex with me before and I beat him up? Do you think I might become gay now?"
"Brother, you are already 20, and you have never even been in love, right? You know your elementary school classmate Juge! His child is already two years old! And Ah Yan! She is younger than you One year old, but you know she got married last year," I said to Agou.
Agou touched his head: "Ah Yan, I know, didn't she and her husband divorce again later? She also had another child, and that child is now being taken care of by her grandmother! Ah Yan doesn't know where to go What a fool. Oh, what a pity for this child. After what happened to them, I concluded that early marriage will not lead to good results. We should advocate late marriage and late childbearing! ”
“ Stop, man, are you kidding me? Are you discussing whether to get married or not? You are already twenty and you don’t have a girlfriend, so you think I am discussing with you? The question of marriage?"
Agou paused! He patted me on the shoulder and said, "Brother, to be honest, sometimes I feel like I am gradually losing interest in the opposite sex."
Agou doesn't know what it is about losing interest in the opposite sex. At the beginning, he sometimes suddenly felt that men and women were basically two kinds of animals, just like humans and monkeys. People can see through what monkeys are thinking, but monkeys can't see through what people are doing, and Agou feels like a stupid monkey when facing girls. But when he saw a girl walking past him holding the hand of another monkey, he was so jealous that he gritted his teeth.
I said: "Brother! I think it's time for you to fall in love!"
Agou glanced at me and said: "Brother, do you still remember that time?" What's wrong?"
I looked at him sympathetically: "Don't be like this, it's been so long, it's time for you to get over your memories."
Ah. The dog lowered his head and smoked in silence...
A year ago, Agou fell in love with ice cream, a girl in his class. Why did he like ice cream? In fact, Agou didn’t know either. But I like it but I don't want to be silent in my heart. So Agou tried his best to find out everything about ice cream from his ice cream tablemate! When Agou learned that Ice Cream didn't have a boyfriend, he beamed with joy. Agou saved money and bought a bouquet of stale roses from the flower shop. He decided to confess his love to Ice Cream in front of the whole class on the night of Chinese Valentine's Day. Then Ice Cream would definitely be moved and accept him, he thought.
But Agou’s ideals are very full, but the reality is very skinny. When he came to the door of the classroom with the roses in hand, he stared at the scene in front of him with his mouth open. The rose in his hand clattered to the ground. He saw his favorite ice cream kissing a handsome guy from another class!
Agou was stunned for a moment and said to himself: "I wonder, what is going on."
I comforted Agou and said: "Haha, Agou is It's not your fault, really. By the way, didn't you find out from her deskmate that she didn't have a boyfriend? "
"Oh! I asked her after that. She was at the same table. Her deskmate said that she was also confused. She said that Ice Cream and the handsome guy met yesterday. "Agou answered me angrily.
"This is embarrassing!" I said with a smile.
"By the way, what did you do with the flowers you bought?" I asked.
"What else can I do? I'll give it to a girl I don't know on the road. I can't throw it in the trash can, right? It's too wasteful," Agou said to me listlessly.
Later, Agou saw Ice Cream and the handsome guy hugging each other every day, so he became even more depressed until that night. Agou lost his mind when he saw Jelly dancing wildly on the stage of the May Fourth Party.
I slapped him hard on the head and told him, Agou, stop being obscene. You have to face yourself and see how much you weigh. You should just go play with your computer.
But Agou ignored me. He still ran to Jelly’s class every day looking for opportunities.
I couldn't stand it any longer, so I said to him: "Brother, I really think it's impossible for you. Jelly is beautiful, can dance the ghost step, and is versatile. And look at you. You are so fat, so... so... so good-looking, and you know nothing about it. All you can do is watch stupid online dramas every day, so I think you should just go to sleep!
"
When Agou heard this, he became angry. He slammed the table hard: "Brother, you are my brother. You are not so aggressive. Just watch. I will... I will confess to Jelly tomorrow, hum. ”
I quickly said to him: “No, no, no, no, I’m not irritating you.” "
"I won't listen. I won't listen. I will confess my love tomorrow. Really, if I don't go, I will be... I will be a puppy. "
I sighed and said: "There are trees in the mountains, and the trees have branches, but I am happy with you, but you don't know it. "
Then, Agou called his mother and told him that the school wanted to buy materials, and his mother believed it. So he bought another bouquet of roses and went happily. After a long time, Agou came back listlessly.
I looked at him and didn't know how to talk, so I asked a very vulgar question, "You're back?" "
Agou hummed, and then slammed his body hard on the bed.
I asked him: "Where are you spending time? "
"Give it away! "Agou lit up a cigarette.
"You must be addicted to sending flowers. "I said angrily.
I then said: "Dude! I think you should set your sights lower, so that your confession can be successful. "
"No, I think they should set their sights lower, so that I can confess my love successfully. "Agou took a long puff of cigarette and said to me.
I was speechless...
Agou continued: "I am also stupid, I am not even interested in her. I haven’t figured out my hobby or whether I have a boyfriend, so I’m going to confess! Am I not asking for abuse? "
I laughed: "Stop making excuses, have you forgotten about the ice cream? The handsome guy and the ice cream have only known each other for one day, and they confessed to each other the next day, and it was so successful. Do you think the handsome guy knows how much he knows about the ice cream? "
"Stop it, man, stop it. I understand everything you said! "Agou put out the cigarette butt, turned over, and looked at the ceiling.
Later, a gay man approached Agou. At that time, Agou didn't know he was gay, and the gay man was very kind to him. Okay, so Agou also regarded the gay guy as a brother, and the two were inseparable, skipped classes, went online, and drank wine together. Agou was very happy at that time, really.
But later. After that incident, everything changed. When Agou was changing clothes in the dormitory after playing basketball, Agou came. When Agou saw him, he nodded and asked him to sit down and take a shower first. /p>
But the gay guy was looking at Agou intently, but Agou didn't notice. He took off his pants and was about to go into the bathroom to take a shower, but he didn't expect the gay guy to step forward and hug Agou.
Agou was startled. When he turned around and saw that it was the gay guy, Agou smiled and said to the gay guy: "Brother, don't make trouble, I'm going to take a shower first. "
Gay looked at Ah Gou affectionately and expressed his feelings to Ah Gou.
Ah Gou shuddered and said to Gay with a solemn expression: " Really? Are you kidding me? "
The gay guy said: "Really! "After saying that, Jiguo pouted and kissed Agou.
Agou quickly broke away from Jiguo and said harshly to him: "I treat you as a brother, but you actually...you ...You actually want to sleep with me. "After saying that, Agou punched the gay man on the nose.
The gay man took a step back after being hit by Agou. He touched his nose and saw that his hands were covered with blood. "Ouch," the gay man said. With a sound, he clenched his fists and rushed towards Agou. The two of them struggled together.
Later, the two were taken to the Academic Affairs Office. The dean looked at the two people with bruises and swollen faces and asked: "You guys Why fight? "
Agou lowered his head and didn't dare to speak. He couldn't tell the dean: This gay guy wanted to have sex with me, molested me, and then I hit him or something like that! This thing If word got out, it would be strange if Agou didn't die.
But the gay guy didn’t think so. The gay guy wiped his tears, touched his face that was injured by the white fat man, and said with sobs, "What happened to gays? Should gays be discriminated against? I do it." What's wrong? I just want to express my love, why don't people all over the world understand me, wu... wu..."
Agou saw the dean with a big mouth on his face. He looked at the two of them in confusion, and after a while he slowly said: "I wonder, what kind of situation is this? I have never encountered this kind of thing before, you guys don't play according to the routine..."
At this time, Agou's face was burning, and the teachers in the office were looking at the two of them with strange expressions, while the gay man was still howling. After a while, the dean, holding back a smile, said to them: " What, then Bai...Classmate Bai Shuo (Agou’s name), you go back to class first. Classmate Sun Bo (Gay’s name), don’t leave yet. The teacher will talk to you.”
When Agou walked out of the Academic Affairs Office, his expression was weird, as if the five-flavor bottle had been knocked over. He was neither laughing nor crying. It was clear that he had been molested by the gay, but he suddenly felt a little sorry for the gay.
After that, Gay Guy and Agou didn’t say a word to each other. Even if they met on the street, they acted as if they hadn’t seen each other and hurried past each other.
I patted Agou on the shoulder and said: "Haha...haha..., man, that's really not your fault. I can't blame you! And I can't blame him! If you want to blame that Just blame this world."
Agou yawned and said to me, "I'm not discriminating against homosexuals, really, but I can't accept it when it happens to me. . Do you know, brother? I was wearing underwear that day, and he just hugged me and told me that he wanted to have sex with me. He said, "Brother, what would you do?" He retched a few more times.
I said: "How about it? How does it feel to reject others? Now you should be able to understand how girls feel when they reject you, right?"
"Well, I don't feel that way at all now. I hate them, to be honest, I sympathize with them." Agou laughed.
Later, Agou seemed to be a different person. When he met the girl he liked, he didn’t react so much. He felt it didn’t matter. He watched them holding hands with other boys, except for Apart from feeling a little jealous, when I returned to the dormitory, I just smiled mindlessly while watching a stupid online drama on my computer.
I said to him: "You are really heartless now. I don't think you should be like this."
Agou shrugged: "What's wrong with me now? I think it’s pretty good.”
“Brother! I know you don’t care about anything now. You think life is boring, but you still laugh and smile every day. It’s heartless to do what you should do every day! But I know you are actually very lonely, right?”
“There is a child in you hiding in the corner, trembling around. It’s deserted, so you still can’t suppress your sadness when there’s no one around.”
“But you don’t know what you’re sad about, but you are just sad, and the sadness is pouring out of your heart like a tide. Come out, you press it with your hands, but it’s of no use. You feel like you’re broken.”
Agou sneered: “Don’t think you know what I look like.”
p>"Haha, man! I just know you! By the way, do you still remember what happened that day?"
That day, Agou was walking on the road and saw an ice cream and a handsome guy. quarrel! Agou seemed very happy, he was gloating, and he smiled brightly! But when the handsome boy slapped the ice cream, Agou was stunned for some reason.
After that, Agou clenched his fist tightly and suddenly rushed over, punching the handsome guy in the eye socket, and the handsome guy fell to the ground hard. Ice Cream stared at Agou dumbfounded. The handsome boy also covered his face and looked at him in surprise. Agou gasped for air but did not speak.
Then the ice cream slapped Agou in the face and cursed Agou! She said Bai Shuo, who the hell are you! Bai Shuo, are you sick? Why did you hit him? You don't have to worry about our affairs.
"
"Then the two men did a mixed doubles attack on you, and you lay on the dusty ground, motionless. She held hands and walked away talking and laughing, leaving you there alone, am I right? "I said to Agou with a wry smile.
"Haha,! To be honest, I don’t quite understand. How could you do this? Where did you get the courage? Is the quarrel between the young couple bothering you? You have to give me a reason! "I asked.
Agou smiled: "What a bullshit reason! I am also a person who occasionally goes crazy! ”
I don’t know why, people nowadays use dog as an adjective. It’s like a dog when it’s hot, a dog when it’s cold, or a dog when it’s wet. It’s as if dogs can bear all the bad conditions in the world. But dogs are always They are lonely. Even if they are beaten by others, they will always run away with their tails between their legs. If they are cornered, they will risk their own lives and die together with their enemies. Agou is just such a dog, a defeated dog.
"But I know that your heart was actually very painful at that time, right? "I looked at Agou.
"Well, it hurts. It hurts so much that I can't breathe..." Agou answered me seriously.
I don't know why. Unable to hold back my tears, I said to Agou: “Agou, you really look like a useless dog, you know that? ”
“Well, dogs get used to it after a long time. "Agou said with a sad expression.
Agou stood up and said to me in the mirror: "Thank you for speaking so many words with me. I feel that I am in a much better mood. Thank you for always being with me. The people around me made me realize my shortcomings and made me less naive. alright! Good night then! Bye-Bye. ”
After saying that, Agou flipped the mirror down on the table.