But with reluctance comes regret
Wen/Miss Pandora
One
My Family's Daughter has always been a topic on the hot search every week since its inception. It's not hard to understand, although on the surface it's a show about a few fathers urging for marriage, but behind the scenes of fathers and daughters getting along, and the daily lives of their daughters, it reflects some of the true meaning of parent-child relationships, marriage and life in general at the moment.
Nowadays, we have become the main force to be urged to get married after 90 years, and we are about to enter into our own age, so it is inevitable that we have to consider marriage and children's problems. Even some of the so-called older "holy" women after 80, as well as the entertainment industry several "goddess" level after 70, have been repeatedly urged. Why do people care so much about marriage and why do our parents force or even require us to do this?
What struck a chord with me was a conversation between Jiao Junyan and Gao Yalin in the last installment, where they were discussing life at the dinner table.
Jiao Junyan said that because of her parents' expectations, she didn't dare to follow her heart and live a more spontaneous life, and instead had to choose to be a good child in her parents' eyes, but she didn't know why people got married.
She also thought before that it would be nice to have good friends living together in a nursing home when she gets older. In case the nursing home is a bit more advanced, you can dance in the square, and there are a lot of handsome old men in there, how cool.
Doesn't it sound a bit familiar, you and I must have such ideas around the girl.
Next, Gao Yalin said a paragraph poking people's heart.
Parents are a wall between us and death.
"Parents are there because you always feel like there's a wall between you and death, and once your parents are gone, you face death straight on."
At that moment, we were all silent.
This is roughly what is said in One Hundred Years of Solitude, but then we adapted it: our parents are the curtain that separates us from death. It's as if you're looking at death through something, not feeling anything, and your parents are in between you, and it's only when your parents pass away that you're confronted with these things, or else you see death in a very abstract way, and you don't know it. Relatives, friends, neighbors, intergenerationally, the stress of their passing is not so direct on you, your parents are a curtain between you and death, holding you back a bit, and the people you are closest to will influence your view of life and death.
This quote isn't telling us to live for our parents, it's saying that our current emboldened enjoyment of solitude and talk of death may just be because we haven't seen the truth yet.
He further explains, "Why do we think old people rush, they nag, it's because they start to face death head on, the old fear of not being able to catch up with the pace. And as the children grow older and older, there will be more and more generation gap between the two generations. That's when, if there are children, our children become the new bond and hope, and the parents will feel like they have to run, and will feel like they have to run well for their sake."
I still clearly remember, two days ago when I called my father, he and I said: Dad is too old to do, but since I was allowed to pass 2018, this year 19 years I will definitely still be alive. You all have no family, my sister is still small, I have to hold on to hold on again.
II
The dads in the studio were in strong agreement, with Yuan's dad talking about how when he saw his father pass away, it occurred to him that he'd be going down that road soon too.
When everything isn't happening, we feel like life is nothing, we don't feel the pressure, and no matter how old we are, we still have our own wild imaginations. Even understand death, but it did not come the moment, can not feel. But when we saw that scene with our own eyes, it was as if we directly held one of the hands of death.
My mother died suddenly last year, and even though she had been sick for several years, our family had been ready for the final "preparation", but everything came suddenly. Habit is a terrible thing, you are used to a phone call every day, nothing a WeChat share, and then she is gone. One evening after work, you turn on your cell phone, and you can no longer hear that voice. You will begin to resent yourself for one thing: Should I have been with her all the time.
Parents put us in the palm of their hands all our lives, and if you ask them how they would prioritize their children, their partners, and themselves, they won't hesitate to put their children in an important position.
papi sauce, on the other hand, believes that the most important order of life should be: self - partner - children - parents.
This really represents two levels. We would think that we accompany ourselves for the longest time in our life, which is spent with our partner, and that children and parents are only accompanying you for a period of time, and the rest of the road is to be traveled by yourself. But it is also because of the protection of our parents that our life is better.
Thirdly
When parents are here, there is still a place for them to come, but when they are gone, there is only a way back.
We have traveled north and south, but we can never get away from the wrinkles of our parents.
Because "you are the star, I am the star next to you, my entire trajectory is influenced by you. Even if the star goes out one day and it becomes dark matter, something invisible, it still influences my trajectory. Your presence changes my star trajectory forever, no matter, where you are."
Life is ours, enjoy each day hard, but don't forget, the parents who watch over us.