who passed a cornfield every day,
but unfortunately,
one day there was a fire in that cornfield,
and all the corn turned into popcorn!!!
The bird flew over to the cornfield,
and it was a fire,
and all the corn turned into popcorn!
After the bird flew over ......
Thinking it was snowing, it died of cold ......
2. Legend has it that
there was a killer,
whose heart was cold,
and whose sword was cold,
and whose sword was cold,
and whose sword was cold,
and whose sword was cold,
and whose sword was cold.
and his hands were cold!
So ......
he froze to death!!!!
3. A polar bear stays alone on the ice,
Bored, he starts pulling out his own fur
One ...... two ...... three.... ...finally plucked one left,
He suddenly exclaimed ............
It's cold! ..................
4. Once upon a time there was a man named Cai, and everyone called him Xiao Cai．
And it turned out ......
that one day, he just got served!
5. Once upon a time there was a little lamb,
One day he went out to play,
and he ran into the big bad wolf,
and the big bad wolf said "I'm going to eat you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You guess, what happened
The result was that the big bad wolf ate the lamb
6. One day, the beanbag was walking on the road, and suddenly there was a car accident, and his belly was broken, and before he died, he looked at his belly and said, "Oh, so I'm a beanbag."
7. On a hot afternoon, a match head itched, scratched and scratched, and then caught fire.
Remember the afternoon match? There's actually more in the back, there was a match he felt an itchy head, scratched and scratched and then his head caught on fire, then he went to the hospital, the nurse bandaged him up and he turned into a cotton bud.
8. There is a child who looks like a tomato, one day he was walking, suddenly fell down 。。。。
Sequel: There was a polar bear, nothing to do, pulling his own hair to play, pulling out, he said: that penguin is right ......
10. One day, the three explorers finally looked for the "Valley of Hope", the legend says, if you stand on the side of the valley, you can find the "Valley of Hope", the legend says, the penguin is right. In the legend, as long as you stand at the edge of the valley and shout what you want in your heart, and then jump down into the valley, you will get a pit full of things you want. So the three of them decided to try to see.
The first was a lecher, so he shouted "Woman! Woman! The first one is a lecher, so he yells, "Woman!
The second is a nerd, and yells "Book! Book! Book! Book! Book! and then jumped into the valley and got a pit full of books too.
The third is an indecisive person, left and right always can not decide their favorite, after an hour, he finally made up his mind, think or bill is the most useful, so he walked to the side of the valley. He accidentally kicked a stone, he cursed "s h i t!" and unexpectedly fell down the valley with an unsteady center of gravity.
11. There was a fat man ......
who jumped from a high building ......
and turned out to be ......
dead fat! ......
12. Do you know why penguins live in Antarctica?
Because it's colder there...
13. The rock fought with the rice cake, and when he got angry, he kicked the rice cake into the ocean...
Tell a story, once upon a time there is a pair of lovers private life, but the boy needs to serve in the army, so he and the girl made a vow, gave the girl a diamond ring, and promised to meet the girl in three years today, when, that ring as a wedding ring.
It was not easy 3 years passed, the girl has been waiting for the boys, but has not been able to wait, she was too sad, desperate to throw the diamond ring into the sea, far away from home. In fact, the boy has also been waiting for the girl, but the girl remembered the wrong date place, so it will forever become a regret. The boy was heartbroken... A few years later. The boy went out fishing. Guess what he caught?
........
......
....
...
Rice Cake
14. Wife:I was so blind to step on shit to marry you.
Husband:I am really blind to step on shit to marry you.
......
Shit: I'm so unlucky! I'm so unlucky to have been stepped on by both of you while I was lying there ......
15. One day, there was a fudge walking on the street.
She was walking, and suddenly said, "Oh, my legs are so soft!"
16. One day, the teacher took a group of children to the mountains to pick fruits.
He announced: "Children, after picking the fruits, we unite to wash them together, and we can eat them together after washing."
All the children ran off to pick fruit.
When it was time to gather, all the children gathered.
The teacher: "Xiaohua, what did you pick?"
Small Hua: "I'm washing apples because I picked apples."
Teacher:
"What about you, Xiaomei?"
Siu Mei: "I'm washing tomatoes because I picked them."
Teacher: "The children are all very good! What about you, Ah Ming?"
Ming: "I'm washing my shoes because I stepped in poop."
17.A man left home to go to work on Friday afternoon. It was payday, so instead of going home, he spent the entire weekend out partying with friends and spending his entire paycheck.
When he finally gets home on Sunday night, his furious wife is waiting for him and berates him for nearly an hour about what he did. Finally, she stopped her chatter and asked him, "How would you feel if you couldn't see me for three days in a row?"
He replied, "I'd feel fine."
Monday passed and he didn't see his wife.
Tuesday and Wednesday passed, and he still hadn't seen his wife.
On Thursday,
.
.
.
.
.
.
The swelling subsided a bit, and he could finally barely see a little bit of his wife out of the corner of his left eye.
18. This is a phone market research of pet food, the answer is a child.
Market surveyor: "Children, your family has no puppies, kittens, rabbits or birds?"
Child: "No, my mom only had one."
19. Once upon a time, Tomato A and Tomato B went shopping all the time. Then one day, suddenly a truck rushed out and crushed Tomato A. Tomato B was on the sidelines, pointing at Tomato A. Laughing: "Ha...ha...ha...ha...ha...ha...ha...ha! "Ha... "Ha...ha...ha...ha...ha...ha... Ketchup ~ ~"
20. There is a lovely pony, was tied to a lovely little pine tree, the pony pulled ah pull ah became a marathon ....
21. One day...
A buck ran faster and faster ......
and at the end of the day...
he turned into a ~"high speed buck"~...
22. One day
The little penguin went to play with the polar bear!
Three years later, when he reached the equator, he remembered that he had left the door open
He went home and closed the door for another three years
Then, six years later, he reached the North Pole
Then, when he knocked on the polar bear's door, he said, "I'm here to play with you, Polar Bear!"
The polar bear opened the door and looked at the penguins and said: "I don't play! And closed the door!"
The penguin went home!!!!
23. There was a snake that bit itself, and when it was dying, it said, "So I'm a poisonous snake...".
24. One day, a pair of penguin brothers felt bored, so they began to pull out the hair on their bodies, and when he finished, he said, "It's cold!"
He E-mailed the polar bear, who lives in the North Pole, and said, "It's going to be cold when you pull out all the hair on your body!
The polar bear was half-convinced, so he pulled out all his fur, and it was "freezing cold!"
He then e-mailed the lion in Africa, and he told the lion that it would be very cold if he pulled out all his fur!
The lion in Africa didn't believe him, he said: "I'm never cold! He pulled out all his fur and said: "It's cold!"
The bird in the tree thought to himself: "I'm so hot right now, will it really be cooler if I pull out my fur? So he pulled out his fur too, and he said, "It's so cool!" I'm going to go out and fly! He flew out and bang, it ~~ died ~~!
P.S. How can a bird fly without feathers?
25. On a hot summer day, two bananas were walking along the road.
The banana in front of him suddenly felt hot
He said, "It's so hot, I'm going to take off my clothes.
And he peeled off the skin.
The banana behind him fell down. ...
26. I had a headache the other day, and I was lying on the table, moaning, "My head hurts so much I'm going to explode."
The same table, Xiaoli, was very concerned about me, and she pulled on my coat and asked me, "Are you all right?"
Then she got blown up.
27.One day, the three little pigs built three huts to hide from the big bad wolf. The Big Bad Wolf blew up the straw hut, the wooden hut, and the brick hut without any trouble. The Three Little Pigs ran as hard as they could, but they were still being chased by the Big Bad Wolf. The three little pigs said in despair, "You do as you please. We give up, as you how. At this point, the Big Bad Wolf smiled wickedly and said with a mouthful of saliva:
So tell me where is Little Red Riding Hood?
28. Xiaoming got a new haircut and came to school the next day, his classmates saw his new haircut and laughed: Xiaoming, your head shape looks like a kite! The students laughed at his new haircut and said: "Your head looks like a kite! He cried and cried. He flew up.
29. The white rabbit hopped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"
Boss: "Ah, I'm so sorry, there aren't that many"
"That's so..." The white rabbit hung his head and walked away.
The next day, the white rabbit hopped to the bakery, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"
Boss: "I'm sorry, I don't think so."
"That's right." The white rabbit went away again, downcast.
On the third day, the white rabbit hopped to the bakery, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"
The owner said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today!!!"
The white rabbit pulled out his money, "Great, I'll take two!"
30.One day,the bird flew from Gaoxiong to Taipei spending 1 hour. But it took 2 hours to come back!
WHY?
Because it was raining! So it was necessary to fly with one hand to cover the rain
31.There was a farmer who went up the mountain with a horse and a dog to hunt, and he couldn't get a shot after a day's walk, but the farmer kept going. Suddenly the horse said; "have been walking for a day. Do you want to tire me out?" The farmer and the hound were scared and ran away, they ran to a tree, the hound slapped his chest and said "I'm scared to death, the horse can talk" and the farmer was scared to death.
32. One day, Zorro went to his mistress's house to meet her. The mistress asked Zorro: "What if my husband comes back?
"Zorro said, "It's all right, if your husband comes back, I'll jump out of the window, and my horse will be down there to catch me. "
The mistress said, "If I hear three knocks on the door, my husband is back.
Zorro said, I know.
After a while, it was raining. Suddenly there were three knocks on the door. It was late, it was fast, Zorro jumped out of bed, and in the blink of an eye, had jumped out of the window. Mistress see Zorro has gone, then go to open the door.
Only to see a horse standing in front of the door, who said to her, "Tell Zorro that it is raining outside, and that I will wait for him in the hallway."
33. An airliner was in flight and was suddenly hit by a small air current, the passengers panicked to do a bunch, thinking that the end of the world is coming, a young and beautiful girl stood up, and summoned up all the courage to say to everyone: "Male passengers, who of you can let me try to be a woman before I die?"
As soon as the words left his mouth, a man in the seat behind him stood up and said, "I'll do it!" The young man took off his t-shirt, revealing his toned muscles, and the young girl looked shyly and appreciatively at the handsome man, imagining his next move, only to see the young man throw the t-shirt at the girl and say, as if in command, "Iron it!!!!"
34. Xiao Ming got a new haircut and came to school the next day, his classmates saw his new haircut and laughed: Xiao Ming, your head shape looks like a kite oh! The students saw his new haircut and laughed at him. He cried and cried. He flew up.
35.A zoologist went on an expedition to Antarctica
He asked a penguin: "What do you do every day?"
The penguin said, "I do three things every day: eat, sleep, and kiss." He asked 99 penguins and they all said the same thing.
Finally, he asked the hundredth penguin, and the penguin said, "I do two things, eat first and sleep second."
The zoologist asked, "They all kiss, why don't you?"
The penguin said "....... Because I am kissT_T!!!"
36. Q: A rabbit races a fast turtle, guess who wins?
A: Hare~~
Q: Wrong~! A: The rabbit races with a tortoise wearing sunglasses, who wins this time?
A: Uh-huh. Hare it
Q: Wrong~~! That turtle took his sunglasses off, too! It's the same turtle that ran very fast just now Oh ^O^
37.In the music class, the teacher played a piece by Beethoven
Xiaoming asked Xiaohua: "Do you know music?"
Xiaohua: "Yes"
Xiaoming: "Then do you know what the teacher is playing?"
Xiaohua: "The piano."
38. A pair of corn fell in love
so they decided to get married
On the day of the wedding
one corn couldn't find the other
This corn asked the popcorn beside it: have you seen our corn.
Popcorn: Hate it, I don't recognize it when I have a perm
39. Little A said to Little B: digging .... It's raining outside too! See? Little B is very excited:Yeah, I see it. And what about you?
40. A second-aged woman went on a blind date. She asked the man across the street, "Do you have a Buick?" The man said, "Uh, no, I don't!" The woman asks again: "Well, do you have a three-bedroom, two-bathroom?" He again replies helplessly, "I don't have one either!" The woman said: "Hmph, on this condition, also dare to come and my blind date?!" Said the head did not return to go, when she walked to the door, she heard the man said ~~~~ : "Do not want me to change the BMW into a Buick, villa for three rooms and two halls?"
41. Duck and crab race, together to reach the finish line, difficult to distinguish between winners and losers, the referee said: you to a rock-paper-scissors it! Duck anger: Damn, count me? I'm a cloth, he's always scissors!
42. One day when big grapes and small grapes were walking on the road, big grapes suddenly said to small grapes: can I press you? The little grape said, "Sure! And the little grape was crushed to death.
43. Two thugs were in ambush, intending to assassinate someone, but they never saw him. One of them was anxious and said, "What's the matter? I hope he doesn't have an accident!"
44. Question 1: Who fired the first shot in the Huanghuagang Uprising? (a) Huang Xing (b) Song Jiaoren (c) Sun Wen (d) Luo Fuxing Question 2: Who fired the second shot during the Huanghuagang Uprising? (a) Huang Xing (b) Song Jiaoren (c) Sun Wen (d) Luo Fuxing Question 3: Who fired the third shot during the Huanghuagang Uprising? (a) Huang Xing (b) Song Jiaoren (c) Sun Wen (d) Luo Fuxing The answer to all three questions is (a) because the textbook of the Educational Publishing House has a sentence: "Huang Xing fired three shots into the air to open the prelude to the Huanghuagang Uprising!"
45. There was a student at KU who was about to graduate from his senior year of college and still had no job and no girlfriend. So he went to a fortune teller. "You, ah, will remain poor until the age of forty ......" The student's eyes lit up when he heard this, thinking that there was a turnaround, so he asked, "And then what?" "Then you'll get used to living like this ......"
46. The cell phone owed money, so he dialed 1860 for advice on how to pay the bill, and the reply: sorry, your phone is out of service, for more information, please contact 1860.
47. One day Xiao Qiang asked his father: "Dad, am I a stupid child?" Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?"
48. One day the animals smelled a very bad odor in front of the temple of Guan Gong. The snake said, "I'm so small I wouldn't fart so bad, it must be a cow." The cow said, "I'm a grass eater wouldn't fart so stinky." The pig said, "The person who farted must have blushed." Suddenly Guan Gong rushed out and knocked the pig off his feet and said, "How many times have I told you that I was born blushing."
49. Teacher: "You're finally here! Why didn't you come to class yesterday?" Student: "Because... Because my mom fell down the stairs..." Teacher: "Wow! I see, mom got hurt so you didn't come." Student: "No... It was my dad who got hurt..." Teacher: "Why did your dad get hurt when your mom fell down the stairs?" STUDENT: "Because... My dad has a woman outside..." Teacher: "What?... What does that have to do with your mom falling down the stairs?" STUDENT: "Because they were fighting... My mom fell all right my dad got hurt by my mom." Teacher: "Wow... So you didn't come to class because you took your dad to the hospital?" Student: "No... It was the woman outside who took my dad." Teacher: "Then why didn't you come to class?" STUDENT: "Because I overslept..." Teacher: "What does that have to do with your mom falling down the stairs!?" STUDENT: "No, I... I was just mentioning it in passing..."
50. A man's car glass is often broken, although nothing was stolen, but just to replace the glass will cost a lot of money, so he came up with an idea, put a "no valuable things in the car" poster on the glass, thought it should be fine, but the next day when he woke up, the glass was broken again, and his poster next to a few words: "I'm sorry". "Sorry, just wanted to make sure."
51. Three fashion-conscious female classmates were discussing what to wear to tomorrow's reunion during class time. Student A: "Uh... I think I'll wear a black dress because my dad has black hair." When Student B heard this, he followed suit, "I'll wear a white dress then! My dad has gray hair!" After hearing what A-son and E-son said, C-son suddenly screamed, "My dad is bald!"
52. One day Xiaoming took the tram home from work, someone accidentally stepped on Xiaoming's foot Someone: Sorry ...... Xiao Ming: It's okay. Someone: I don't know how to say this. Xiao Ming: It's okay, we all step on feet in the tram. Someone: ...... I stepped in dog poop in front of the station
53. A man couldn't find a hotel and decided to sleep in his car for the night. In the middle of the night, someone knocked on his window and asked him what time it was, and it wasn't nice to be disturbed in the middle of the night, so he put a note on the window saying "I've lost my watch," and a little girl knocked on the window later. "Sir, did you lose this watch?" And he changes the note to "My watch is broken." Another knock on the window, "Sir, can you fix it?" "Sir, can you fix your watch? Outraged, the note was changed to "I don't know the time." I don't know how long, a kindly old lady knocked on his car window "young man, it is now 3:00 a.m."
54. The army called up the animals to fight in the war, so all the animals in the forest had to come to the medical checkups, and the first in line, the monkey, was very reluctant to go from the army, and he took a look at his long tail, and then his teeth bit down and broke it off, and went inside. ... The army doctor said, "Monkey's tail is broken, he's handicapped, no need to join the army." .... When the second rabbit saw the monkey's behavior, he also decided to break his long ears and went inside. The army doctor said, "The rabbit's ear is broken, it's handicapped, no need to be a soldier... The third black bear thought to himself. "My ears are so short and my tail is as good as nothing." The rabbit and the monkey came to help him... Suddenly the monkeys exclaimed, "I know, I'll break your teeth and you'll be handicapped. So the monkey and the rabbit gave the bear a good beating and broke all his teeth. ..... The black bear went in for his checkup happily even though he was in pain. Soon after, the black bear came out with his mouth covered and cried. ...... "Holy shit!" .... They said I was too fat to be a soldier
55. At the art festival, we had to dance a terrible group dance that required violent and difficult movements such as sharp falls and high leg lifts. The result is not practiced for a few days everyone can not stand, some are covered in bruises, some muscle strain ...... I hurt my right leg is very serious, simply do not listen to the call! I went to class on the third floor today, and oh my god, I was literally lifting and sending my right leg straight up one step at a time. The most annoying thing is that - as I was walking, I heard the two girls behind me muttering in a low voice: "It's better to have a regular school in the big city, if this were in our hometown, polio can't go to school at all!"
56. One day. The two-minute steak met the four-minute steak. Why didn't the two of them say hello? Because ~ ～～～～～ ～～～～ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ it both are not cooked
57. A group of great scientists died in heaven to play hide and seek, it was Einstein's turn to catch people, he counted to 100 opened his eyes and saw everyone hiding, only Newton is still standing there. Einstein walks over to him and says, "Newton, I got you." Newton: "No, you didn't get Newton." Einstein: "Who are you if you're not Newton?" Newton: "What do you see at my feet?" Einstein looks down and sees Newton standing on a square piece of floor tile that is one meter in length and width and wonders. Newton: "Under my feet this is a square meter square, I stand on it is Newton / square meter, so you grabbed not Newton, you grabbed Pascal"
58. A university rules are extremely strict, night not to sleep will be expelled! There are three buddies back late, ready to turn the wall in, a brother was very careful to probe to see the wall, see a civilian standing this, whispered: "There is no school security?" Civilian very calmly made a "ok" gesture. Three boys a burst of ecstasy, over the wall in, was squatting in this three school security guards successfully captured! Before they were taken away, the three boys turned back to the civil servant and complained, "Didn't you tell us 'ok'?" The civil worker said bitterly: "Didn't I compare it with my finger, and tell you that there are 'three' ah!"
59. Two tomatoes went shopping. The first tomato suddenly walked very fast, the second tomato asked: where are we going a The first tomato did not answer, so the second tomato asked again. The first tomato doesn't answer, so the second tomato asks again. The first tomato finally turned its head slowly and said: "Aren't we tomatoes, and can we speak?
60. One day, the kangaroo was driving along a country road, and suddenly saw the white rabbit in the center of the road, his ears and body almost completely on the ground seeming to listen to what... So. Kangaroo stopped the car and asked curiously, "White rabbit, may I ask what you are listening to?" "A big truck went by here about half an hour ago... "Wow shit... So god!... How did you know that?" "He NN! That's how I broke my neck and legs . .
61. "Get rid of the blues," the psychiatrist instructed his patient, "Let enthusiasm fill your day, get up and go to work with enthusiasm. In short, do everything with enthusiasm." A week later, the patient returned, looking even more depressed than in the past, and the doctor asked him if he was not doing what he was told to do. "That's exactly the problem", replied the patient, "I got up, ate, and then kissed my wife goodbye with so much enthusiasm that I was two hours late for work and got fired."
62. A pair of nude statues have stood face to face in the park for decades. One day, Cupid, the god of love, descended from the sky and came to both of them, saying, "I'm sure it must be very depressing for you two to look at each other every day and not be able to do anything about it, so I'm going to let you become human beings today, and go and do what you want to do! But only for fifteen minutes." Words finished, the two statues will become a human being that two people immediately jumped into the grass, the grass pile issued a sighing sound ...... After ten minutes, the two people jumped out of the grass. Cupid said, "Alas, there are still five minutes, hurry up and enjoy it again." After saying this, the two looked at each other, smiled a little, and jumped back into the grass ...... Faintly, the female statue was heard saying to the male statue, "I held this pigeon down, now it's your turn to shit on his head."
63.One day Xiao Ming came to his future mother-in-law's house as a guest. His mother-in-law said, "Take a seat, the food will be ready in a minute!" Then she went into the kitchen and got busy, leaving only a nervous Ming and his mother-in-law's dog, Xiaobai, in the living room. Suddenly, Xiao Ming realized that his stomach was in severe pain, and he thought to himself, "No way! I must hold it in! But he couldn't hold it in any longer and poof! He let out an invincibly stinky loud fart, and he thought: this is dead, he will be kicked out for sure! Unexpectedly, his mother-in-law just shouted, "Xiaobai!" Xiao Ming was then relieved thinking, "Luckily I have Xiaobai as my scapegoat. Then he couldn't help but let out a 2nd fart, and his mother-in-law still yelled, "Xiao Bai!" When he let out his 3rd fart, he saw his mother-in-law rushing out and cursing, "Xiao Bai! You're waiting until you're stinking to death to run aren't you!!!"
64.
1. A bunch of bananas stayed in the refrigerator for a while, and one day a banana said to another banana next to it, "It's really cold here. The other banana didn't say anything.
The next day, the bananas said to another banana, "It's cold in here. The other banana didn't say anything.
On the third day, the banana said to the other banana: It's cold in here. The other banana said, "Are we going to talk?
2. A bunch of bananas stayed in the refrigerator for a while, and one day a banana said to another banana next to it, "It's cold in here.
The other banana said: can we talk?
The banana said, "You're not a banana? You can talk all the same.
The other banana said: I'm sorry, I'm a sausage.
65. Camel: "Dad, why do we have humps?" Camel dad:?°Because there is no water in the desert, and having humps is the only way to store water!" Camel: "Dad, why do we need long hair?" Camel dad: "Because the desert is windy and sandy, so we have to rely on it to block the wind and sand so that we can see!" Little camel: "Dad, why do we need thick hooves?" Camel dad: "Because the desert is full of sand, so we can stand firm!" Camel Jr: "Daddy, one last question... What are we doing at the zoo then?"
66.There was a green bean who ate so much that he became ...... Bent bean now. There was a green bean, he went to the national theater, and he became ...... A flowery bean. There was a green bean, he grew too tall all at once, and he became .... There was a green bean who grew too tall at once and became a four-season bean. There was a green bean, he got liver disease, and he became .... A yellow bean. There's a green bean, he walks down the road, he meets a drag racer, he becomes .... Red bean. There was a red bean, he was walking down the road, met a ghost, and became... Green bean now.
67.A man: hahaha, I saw a joke is so funny oh! Woman B: What is it? I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that! A man: But it's very yellow. B: That yellow place to skip it! Man A: Skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip! Woman B: ......