01
Mengzi said this sentence, about the truth of contentment:
"Nurture the heart is not good at the desire to be widowed, and its people are also widowed, although there is not exist, widowed. He is a man of many desires, and though there are those who do not exist, they are few."
In the same vein, Laozi said in the Tao Te Ching, "There is no greater evil than not knowing enough."
The truth of being happy with what you have can be said to be familiar to everyone, but how many people can do this in real life?
Because deep down they don't know enough, greed is too heavy, most people are enslaved by external objects, running around in the fame and fortune all day long, every day, depressed and unhappy, unhappy, don't know the fun of life.
There is a folk saying: the human heart is not enough to swallow the elephant, once a person has greed, it will never be satisfied, not satisfied, there will be a sense of discrepancy in the heart, always feel that there is something less, naturally, is not happy.
In the words of Bette Davis in her memoir, "A Lonely Life," "The attainment of any goal will not bring fulfillment, and success will inevitably lead to new goals, just as the apples that are eaten come with seeds, and these are never-ending."
Only after you know the secret of constant happiness and understand the meaning of the saying that those who are contented can be always happy, can you be satisfied with what you currently have.
02
The other day I was on a business trip and thought I'd stop by and visit an old friend I haven't seen in a long time. I'm not sure if I've ever seen you before, but I'm sure I've seen you before, and I'm sure I've never seen you before.
The dinner table chitchat let me know she put the previous house back, changed a better environment in the location to teach dance, I asked her tuition has not gone up, she said no, I was very confused, after all, now the dance room than the previous environment is much better, the rent is certainly expensive.
"The investment is so big, the tuition actually did not increase prices, you are not clearly operating at a loss?"
Old friend just laughed after hearing this from me.
"It's not quite a money-losing business now, at least I'm still making a bit, enough to make ends meet. I like this kind of life, plain and simple, it does not matter how much I earn, enough is enough."
The words of an old friend have taken me back for a long time.
Remembering that a reader friend shared his marriage story with me earlier, the reader is a man just in his early thirties, let's call him Mr. Wu for the time being.
Despite being in his early thirties, Mr. Wu always said in the course of conversation that he was getting old, that he was already a middle-aged man, and that he had already experienced a mid-life crisis. Mr. Wu's married life with his ex-wife lasted only three years before his ex-wife took the initiative to declare a rupture.
To mention his own feelings, Mr. Wu has always felt sorry for his ex-wife, if not their own strong insistence, perhaps the two can not get married together to live, not to mention his ex-wife's divorce said those "aggrieved words".
Because of this disinterest in reading, the high school has not finished, Mr. Wu early into society, and then in the workplace life with his ex-wife to know and love.
There is a line in Wu Guijun's famous modern poem, "Like a Man," that says, "Begin with the face, get stuck in the talent, and stay true to the character.
It probably means that if you like a person, you will fall in love with her because of her face value, then because of her talent, and then because of her character, you will reach the realm of loyalty.
When he chose to pursue his ex-wife, Mr. Wu's feeling towards her completely verified this statement. Mr. Wu, who was y attracted by his wife's face value at that time, had only her in his mind.
Despite being rejected in the process of pursuing his ex-wife, Mr. Wu eventually pursued her with his tireless efforts and it didn't take long for the two of them to start living together.
During their cohabitation, the former wife found herself unexpectedly pregnant, when the former wife's idea is not a child, after all, the material conditions of life of the two are not good, but Mr. Wu is refused, but also as a reason to marry her.
In this way, "a passionate" Mr. Wu and "confused" ex-wife married, less than a year, the two had a child.
03
In order to make up for the heart side of the guilt of his ex-wife, the two married, Mr. Wu let his wife resigned from her previous job, peace of mind at home to raise the baby, take care of the child, his wife has become a housewife.
Mr. Wu is a hard-working person, a few years after the marriage on the work of the fight, and gradually became the backbone of the company's department, the annual salary of a year more than a year, but along with the project at hand is more and more, accompanied by the children and his wife's time is naturally less.
Originally thought that efforts to make money to his wife is her greatest love and companionship, but did not expect to be resigned from his wife at home to mention the request for divorce, and even in the two negotiated divorce when his wife complained about their own disregard for the family.
"Divorce when she said I did not now she likes the man romantic, all day only know to make money, ten words have nine sentences are related to work, also said that at that time willing to agree to fall in love with me, including marriage, just because I am good for her, I really can not see through the woman's heart, I for her, for the family to pay so much, and in the end it is the end of the story. "
Chatting with Mr. Wu makes me can't help but feel how tired and helpless a man living in this world is. When you nestle in the house to talk about romance with a woman, she suspected you of not being rich enough, said you have no talent, lazy, when you go out to fight career hard to make money, she suspected that you are a workaholic, only work in the eyes, do not know how to be romantic, do not spend time with her.
Remembering a movie - "Beijing meets Seattle", which the heroine Wen Jiajia, because she can not stand her husband's lack of romance filed for divorce, after she and her husband filed for divorce, her husband said this sentence: when it rains you want the sky to be clear, out of the sun you want to rain, you are also too made!
You see, some women are so greedy, with no money after a long time with men think and rich men stay together, however, followed by a career also have money after a long time with men think with no money but understand the romantic man together.
The effect of this phenomenon is that the divorce rate will only increase, and then some people's choice of spouse, outlook on life, values are messed up, I think, this is not know enough of a terrible it.
Husband and wife, if you can not be satisfied with their partners, then the result is either betrayal or divorce. If you can't be content with your partner in a family relationship, the relationship will be a mess.
The horror of not knowing enough not only destroys tangible things, but also disrupts your inner world, including your self-respect and principles, which can collapse in the face of greed.
04
In fact, people's not knowing enough often comes from comparison, and similarly, people wanting to know enough can be obtained by comparison. In my opinion, man's desire is like a black hole that never fills up, and allowing it to expand will only produce many troubles.
If you can look at those around you who are not as good as yourself, and these people than a comparison, rather than focusing on comparing with those who are better than themselves, then the inner imbalance and the sense of disparity will be comforted, in other words, is to embrace a "more than enough than the next" attitude of life.
Life, we will always encounter some unsatisfactory partners, relatives, friends, it is difficult to face these problems when the attitude is always: escape, give up?
In fact, this is not the case, the result of doing so is just a kind of trouble to replace another kind of trouble, and can not solve the problem from the root.
As the saying goes: "If you don't want it, you don't have to worry about it. The reason why people don't know what they want in life is because they have desires, and they are bound by their desires to feel uncomfortable, and their moods are sure to be low, but on the other hand, if you go with the flow, and you keep a normal mind, how can your moods be worse?