The daily light-hearted moment jokes
Daily light-hearted moment jokes, in our daily lives we often encounter a variety of unhappy things, unhappy how to do, then look at the jokes to make themselves happy, there are times when you are happy to smile a little bit of everything in the past, the following share the daily light-hearted moment jokes.
Daily relaxed moment joke 1
Rainy day four strange: rain must have no umbrella, buy umbrella rain must stop, out of the umbrella must be lost, with the umbrella must be sunny.
I proposed a salary increase to my boss, who said you should not forget your initial salary.
In the cafeteria, I encountered a very good student in a rage. He yelled at the cafeteria manager: "Look at your porridge what the hell! Wearing a mask can drink in! "
I have a neighbor, the name is Zhu Chuan, his mother every time to buy clothes for him, will tell people that this is to buy for our family Zhu Chuan's ......
Constipation, so hard. Seven-year-old son said: "Dad, I have a way! "I said:" What way? Quickly say! "My son said:" Let's buy a toilet that can be turned, you just sit on it, and press the electric button, not dumped out?" I...
It's really amazing how something like toothpaste can whiten everything except teeth!!!!
"The wolf is coming" children say three times on no one believes, but "the teacher is coming" say how many times to hear the people will be under the heart of a shock, now you know the wolf and the teacher which is more horrible it!
The thought of money such as Ma Yun, eat spicy crayfish also have to peel the shrimp shells, the heart suddenly balanced a lot.
Maybe sleeping is the real state of human activity, and we are awake only to collect material for dreaming.
Slowly we are familiar with the two, today she asked me: "Why do you order food every night, and then let me go to you to send?" I said because I like you ah. She smiled at me and said, "I'm glad you like a restaurant waitress. If you like a nurse, you'll have to call for an ambulance every day."
The district has a vacant lot, I intend to go there to play soccer, and then the big women in batches to go there to dance, I had to follow them to dance. Then the neighborhood added a bunch of singles and doubles, and I was happy because there was no way the big moms were going to grab the singles with me! I am ready to pull a few pull-ups today, I saw a group of big moms in the single bar double bar on the tanning quilt....
Wife: Honey, we are always talking about the topic of no nutrition you do not feel bored? I: Oh, I ate eggs, green vegetables, bananas, apples at the company today at noon, how is it? Nutritious enough? It doesn't grow meat yet!
On the street to see colleagues and her five-year-old daughter. That cute little girl is the first time to see, but dead talk to me to take her to the playground often I teased her: "You are not afraid of me to sell you?" The little girl said: "My mom said, she has a particularly ugly coworkers, the most kind, that must be you." I.
"Anyway," the word "anyway" is full of negative energy and negative attitudes wherever it is used, and I don't know if you like to use it, but I don't use it.
I was walking along the river with my girlfriend, and suddenly she said, "I want to poop! "I squinted and looked at her with an embarrassed look and said, "How can I pull here? ""Why can't I poop?"" After saying that she took my hand.
"Why do companies love meetings so much?" "Because incompetent people sitting in meetings have the illusion of doing something! "
If being in love is like being in jail, I've been getting away with it for 30 years.
Last night went to my mother-in-law's house, arrived and saw my old man standing outside the house very unhappy look. Ask him how? He said the quarrel. I held back a smile and knocked on the door, the door opened, a pot of water to the face. This is the first time my mother-in-law apologized to me, and she also emphasized three times that it was not foot-washing water.
"Looking at you, I don't think you're married, right?" "Do I look young?" "No, it's obscene."
Daily relaxed moment joke 21, once in high math class, the classroom is out of chalk! The teacher saw a buddy in the back row sleeping, let him go next door to ask! Just see that buddy sleepy eyes out of the back door, a moment and appeared in the front door. He says to the teacher, "I'll lend you some chalk." The petrified teacher said "No? Forget it and go home!" The dude goes out the front door again, then reappears at the back door "Teacher doesn't have any next door either!" The whole audience laughed!
2. A young couple quarreled and stopped talking to each other. After a few days, Mr. forgot the unpleasantness of the quarrel, and wanted to talk to his wife, but she just ignored him. Later, Mr. rummaged around in all the drawers and closets, to the point where Mrs. couldn't stand it anymore and asked, "What are you looking for?" "Thank goodness," said the gentleman, "I finally found your voice."
3, to travel, the guide said that the more bees around the fruit here represents the more sweet fruit. I saw a fruit surrounded by bees asked: what is this fruit? Guide: this is a hornet's nest.
4, a couple gave birth to a pig-faced son. Wife: I am as beautiful as heaven, you are also very handsome, why the child grew into this? Is it born a demon? Husband: Alas, are genetic trouble, I am plastic surgery of the eight ring ah!
5, and second-cargo girlfriends go to the bank to get money, I just took the money out of the counter, the ear came the voice of girlfriends, do not move to rob ... This is not over, I do not know how she thought, but also took out her anti-wolf with a fake knife threatened me! I did not even react, she was stepped on the ground by the security guard!
6, when I was a child, then my friends like to eat eggs, wrapped in pumpkin leaves, buried in the soil above the fire, as long as you hear a bang you can eat, me and my best friend did not get the eggs, the home of the hens a person to hold one to guard, from the morning to the afternoon to guard the eggs finally, then the eggs don't mention how tasty it is, but I remember how much it hurts to be beaten ah.
7, I rural, often working outside, rare to go home to stay a few days, once back home, my mother gave me dozens of eggs, I put in the trunk careful care, for fear of bad. To the site first put the eggs, noon and his wife said: "scrambled eggs to eat, let you taste the home of the earth eggs" wife happily take a few to do scrambled eggs, but open the eggs only to find that the eggs are cooked. Called to ask why the old lady cooked eggs, she: afraid of you on the road to touch the bad, touch the bad.
8, an old lady said: "In the past, I always hide the gold under the mattress, people told me that place is the most unsafe. Now I put them in the box." "Aren't you afraid you'll forget which box you put them in?" A neighbor asked her. "No fear," she replied, "I put a note under the mattress 'Gold in the black leather box'."
9, the night drunk, went home, found that his wife is not at home, and then yelled at his son to pour me a cup of sugar water. Son: "What sugar can be?" I nodded ...... A minute later, my son brought a cup of boiling water from the kitchen, with a few pieces of gum floating on it.
10, passing by his alma mater, bumped into my class teacher, I said excitedly: good teacher, years have not seen, your old style is still ah! The class teacher looked at me doubtfully and said: you are the one ...... who was beaten by female classmates to cry every day when you go to school? I ......
11, dating meet, she talked eloquently, said her former boyfriend how to drive a luxury car, live in a mansion, and often boasted about how beautiful she was, a see her nervous. He looked at her: "I, I generally look, see beautiful women, also, also will be nervous to say, can not speak." She snorted, "That's such an old-fashioned way for you to strike up a conversation." "But, but when I see a not, not good looking one, I, I stutter." The woman's face immediately turned into a pig liver color ......
12, daughter-in-law today is a bit wrong, has been talking to me about what her colleagues bought a new bag, how much how much money what. And said their bags back how many years, are almost rotten ...... I know in my heart she wants me to buy her a bag, but still pretend not to know. She also kept side-tracking, just do not say her purpose. I got a little tired of hearing it and glared at her, "Can you get to the point for me?" She slammed the table, "Don't you know I have a bad throat? How much do I have to weigh before you buy me a bag?"
13, my senior year of high school, I went to a repeat 'classmate rented house there to sit. I saw his bed with a dozen alarm clocks. I: "What are you doing with so many alarm clocks?" He: "I missed the college entrance exam last year because my alarm clock didn't go off. This year, if anyone who knew me before sends me a gift, he will send me an alarm clock. You can't send me an alarm clock in the future!" Me: "Then what do you want me to give you?" He: "Batteries!"
14. Yesterday, my son said that there was a photo contest, the title is "busy mom". In order to reflect the "busy", I deliberately designed a stylized wife, shot several. Today, my son's class group, we have sunshine photos, those baby moms are made up, one by one, beautiful, some wearing a diamond ring to wipe the table, some wearing a mink frying ...... only a pudgy, yellow-faced woman wearing a broken jacket mopping the floor. I feel the killing gas through the screen.
15, I am particularly afraid of the dark, the early morning from the company out of the scared afraid to go ah! There is a beautiful woman riding a bicycle slowly from the side, instantly feel grasp hope. Dabbing after the beauty of the bike run, the beauty of the faster and faster ride. I was afraid of being left alone in the darkness, so I chased after her. I'm not going to tell you that the beauty ended up wailing and crying as the stirrups flew off the bike. I also cried in fear and almost broke my legs.
16, a girl in the group said a boy chasing her, often come to her house to find her, but she did not feel for him, and never invited him into the house to sit. But gradually she felt that such a boy is quite cute and kind of wanted to give him a chance. We had a long discussion about this mentality, and concluded that the reason you think he's cute is because you've fed him too much of the "must-moi soup" (closed door soup).
17, once I sat at the end, the car is very few people, suddenly the driver braked sharply. I directly from the last direct launch to the front. I said to the driver: master, you find me something?
18, I received a phone call from a liar: "Today is your birthday, just give me a transfer of 1,000 yuan handling fee, you will send you an Apple phone." I know he is a liar, but still gave him a transfer of 1000 dollars, because he is the only person who remembered my birthday today. After a few days, I really received an Apple phone. The scammer said, "Growing up, you are the only one who believed me."
19, yesterday in the group grab red packet grab hand acid, before going to bed, someone mention intention, the red packet in their own hands are packaged in a big turn to send, grab more than the first sent, all through, so I packaged the red packet sent out, I went to go! Half a second is not to grab empty, and then later they all fell asleep ......
20, with her husband argued, he moved to the guest room, and put down harsh words, capable of middle of the night do not knock on the door of his room. This cold winter night, really cold shivering, so can not help but go over to open the door, special meow, he actually locked the door! I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this, but I'm going to be able to do it, and I'm going to be able to do it!