An adult saw a child holding a 100 yuan RMB in his hand and wanted to trick it. He went over to the child and showed him three 10 yuan RMBs, then said to the child, "You give me this one only, and I'll give you all three pieces of paper." The child nodded and said, "You just have to learn to bark 3 times and I'll give it to you." The adult looked around and saw that no one was around, so he barked 3 times. After the adult finished barking, the child hemmed and hawed and said, "The dog knows that 100 yuan is more than 30 yuan, don't I?"
There is a particularly funny thing is just now, suddenly a courier came in to send flowers, the recipient is one of our male colleagues!
We all speculated that he is a gay or a girl chasing after him, only to see him holding the flowers confused for a while, and then suddenly slapped his head and said: "Damn, the recipient and sender fill in the opposite!
Every time I think of these two things, I think it's just too funny.
What's the funniest joke you've ever heard?
Below I'll share a wave of paragraphs I find funny, I hope you like it!
1: My wife worked in the kindergarten before, pregnant almost to the due date are still in the kindergarten on stage wearing a tiger costume play tiger
The result of the day the water broke....
They are the first to be able to do so, and they are the first to be able to do so.
I found an experienced doctor, who opened the door and quickly backed away: How can I see a tiger lying there?
I: Well, my wife is now in its original form ....
2: last night, my father was very serious to write a string of figures to me: this is my life investment!
I: Dad, do not see you or invisible tycoon ah, our family to send ah.
My dad: what tycoon, this string of numbers is my half a lifetime to keep the double color ball number! I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that, but I think I'm going to be able to do it, and I'm going to be able to do it.
3: A few nights ago and colleagues get together to drink drunk back home, see my husband is using a glass of water
I went over to pat him on the shoulder and said: this buddy is really fast!
Hubby got another glass of water and asked: still drinking?
4: Yesterday, halfway home from work encountered heavy rain and thunder, I did not bring an umbrella, I was thinking how to go back quickly when a phone call, a look is the wife to play.
I thought that at noon also quarrel will fight it, so quickly began to care about me, I picked up on the wife said: husband where are you?
I said gently: almost home, something?
The wife said: nothing! Make a phone call to let the lightning strike you to death .....
5: I have a dark complexion, recently the weather is hot, on duty at the site are generally bare bladder on
The gatekeeper asked me: bare bladder do what ah?
I said, "I'm going to try to get a better tan, and I'm going to try to get a tan like Gutenberg.
moncler jackets outlet online, and then again: don't be a son of a bitch
I: son of a bitch ...
1. I remember when I was a kid I was not good at studying, and I was always at the bottom of the exams in my class. 30 people were in my class, and I was 30th every time I took the exam. However, how I wanted to take 29th place! Before this exam, I gave my desk a piece of sugar, my desk understood what I meant: "If you give me sugar, I can't be in the bottom one, do you this favor!" I said, "No need for you to do me a favor, I'm just giving you the candy!" After the table ate, the next day did not take the test, I finally took the 29th place as I wished, because I gave the table is not sugar, is the grandmother to treat constipation eat laxatives with sugar coating!
2. young who have not done ridiculous things, I also counted a local leading big brother, with another group of people on the bar. They called us a few brothers to go to the location of the appointment. We got there, but it is a barbecue restaurant, talked to each other also recognize a few acquaintances. Simply drink up in the barbecue restaurant, a drink on several, drink to midnight before coming back. At that time, low wages, only a hundred or ten dollars, drink a few meals spent several hundred dollars. I came back to my brothers and men blow: "Brother is not a couple of times, we are so northeastern people, no one barbecue can not handle things, if one can not handle, two!" But did not expect a brother said: "Brother! You know what? That barbecue store on the people that group of people opened!"
3. I asked my buddy: Who is your favorite hero? Buddy: Hou Yi. I: because he shot down the sun to save lives? Buddy: I worship ...... His wife ran away, my wife is dead on not go. I: ......
5. Today to the father-in-law's home, father-in-law secretly to me dragged to one side, from the head to pull out 100 yuan to me, said: "I saw you smoking downgrade, how can this be? Is not forget to bring money, manly old man, this can not be ah! I'll lend you a hundred dollars. Spend it first!" I was very touched: "Father-in-law! You lend me money, are not afraid that I will forget to pay you back?" Father-in-law is very generous: "soon after the New Year, you last year's Spring Festival gave me five hundred red packets, this year even this hundred dollars, you directly give me six hundred red packets on the line!" This is not lending me money, this is clearly reminding me of the New Year to give him a red envelope ah!
6. Friends asked Xu Xian: I heard that your wife is a snake spirit. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that, but I'm going to be able to do it. Friends: that there is nothing that you can not stand the place. Xu Xian: There is ah, I can not stand her birthday. My friend: What did she say? Hsui-xien: She said that her mom counted her birthday on the day she was born, and then counted her birthday on the day she came out of her shell, and then counted her birthday on the day she became a human being. She said that the day her mom gave birth to her, another birthday was counted on the day she was born, and another birthday was counted on the day she became a person. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that.
1, just now dinner, mom suddenly asked me: "Son, you remember, when you were a child, you came to mom's unit to play. Auntie Zhang's daughter, often play games with you, called Dan that. "I nodded and said I remember. She then asked: "Do you remember, there is Uncle Liu, that is, the family later demolished and divided into a dozen sets of houses that Uncle Liu, always love to tease you two, that you two are a small couple, you always chased after Uncle Liu to play, Xiaodan is always crying. "I nodded and said I remember. She paused for a moment and said, "Uncle Liu is getting married to Dan this Sunday."
2, last night with my daughter-in-law to take my two-year-old son to eat shabu shabu, the results of my son's night vomiting and diarrhea, our two families will take my son to the hospital. I was quite anxious and upset. I was so upset that my daughter-in-law kept crying, so I yelled at her, "Don't cry there, you're so annoying."
She said back to me, "It's not your child, of course you don't feel sorry for him!"
3, with his girlfriend together for seven years, others say that the seven-year itch, but we turned out to be more love, but there is something I have been nagging, seven years, I have not seen her family, parents have not seen. New Year's Eve this year, I said together to go to her home for New Year's Eve, she still said no don't, I was angry, I asked her why, she had tears in her eyes, crying and said to me, "My husband will beat you!" I calmed down and thought about it carefully also...
Speaking of the funniest paragraphs, you can share a few more realistic laughs.
We all say that marriage is the big day of a person's life, must choose a good day, as a man, before I do not know why to do so, to the present I finally know, because there is no good day after the man married. When I was a child, I always thought that I would grow up to be able to raise a tiger after growing up the wish finally came true, but the family more than a tigress, and then I understand why the law does not allow men to have three wives and four concubines, it is to protect the man ah.
A few days ago, I ate dinner nothing to do, went out to sneak around, went to an alley next to, and suddenly came inside the screams "molestation ah! I listened to the fire on the up, nowadays the legal system society, there are still people molestation, I ran over and saw a woman entangled with a man's head, flying is a foot, I did not think that the man so can not help but hit, directly fainted. The woman raised her head and said "big brother you saved me, I have nothing to repay, only in return" I looked at her face and said "big sister ah, in ancient times, heroes save the beauty, in return for the body, but I see you look, is intended to revenge it" big sister heard this reluctant, entangled with a man's head, I was not willing to, I ran over and saw a woman entangled with a man's head, flying is a kick, I did not expect the man so unbearable, directly fainted. The big sister heard this reluctant, pestered "big brother, this is your wrong, you can say so I it! If you don't want me to call molestation again". Words have not finished, the molestation of the man on the ground woke up, got up and looked at us for two eyes, ready to run away, I immediately drank to "do not move, and then move me to the police," the man begged bitterly to "big brother, you call the police! Just called molestation is my ah"
A friend of ours, Erdouzi, last year to learn the car when an interesting thing happened. Frozen a car "coach I want to learn to drive" coach said "Well, you first release the handbrake (loose hand sprinkle) Frozen heard, immediately spread the hand, the coach helpless, "told you to release the handbrake, not told you to spread the hand", the coach said, "I want to learn to drive". Erdouzi released the hand brake, the coach continued to say "gas" Erdouzi heard, scissors hand a gesture, "gas Ouye! Come on, Oye!" The coach was furious. The coach was furious, directly called to the "small calf, get off" Erdouzi heard the end, begged to the "coach you give me another chance it" coach listened to "that's good", you go down to see There is no oil, doudoune moncler pas cher, ran to the back of the car ass to open the gas cap, but can not see, doudoune moncler outlet online thought, with a lighter to try, the coach heard something wrong, immediately ran to kick doudoune moncler pas cher a foot and said, "small calf I just did not just scolded you a few words? You even want to die with me ah"
I have stayed in a small theater troupe, when life is difficult, the commune to the troupe of a piece of river bank land planting vegetable garden, busy planting vegetables, idle singing; daytime planting vegetables at night singing opera.
The male lead in the troupe surnamed Liu, called Liu Tianle, usually walking always tilted his head, acting very seriously, on the surface, he is silent, but when he speaks, let you laugh your stomach; female lead called Chen Yihong, smart, sweet voice, just a slight limp on the left leg, not a close look, not to be detected. The audience gave them the nicknames: Liu Tianle, the crooked-headed boy, and Chen Yihong, the crippled lady.
There is also a clown actor named Li Errong, the second in line at home, the most funny, is the troupe's living treasure.
With them, we were happy every day and couldn't stop laughing.
At that time, I was only fifteen years old, picking two buckets of water is very difficult, especially when climbing the slope more difficult. That day, I picked the water to the embankment to climb, Chen Yihong in the vegetable field said: Xiao Zhu, I sing to you listen to opera.
Said, she sang a Lv Opera "Li Er Sister-in-law remarried", the lyrics have such a sentence: I wish someone to pull me a hand ......, she sang while looking at me and laughing.
They laughed in the ground, I laughed on the slope, the more I laughed, the less energy, the bucket shook on the shoulder, laughed and fell on the slope, even with the bucket gurgle gurgle rolled downwards.
They rushed to help me, Li Errong said: give you a water tank you also pick full, you want to pick less, can not use Li Er sister-in-law to help you.
These are the first time I've ever seen a woman in the world, and I've never seen her in the world.
The crowd laughed again.
Once Li Errong and Liu Tianle with a play, one of the plot, Li Errong said to Liu Tianle: command ear over, and then cooed for a while, Liu nodded his head and said: the words of the adults, the little man remembered.
On the surface, it looks as if Li said some confidential words to Liu, in fact, the script does not have a line.
One day, when this episode came up, Li said softly to Liu: You are my own son, you must remember.
Liu knew that Li was scolding him, but forced by the plot, and had to promise: the words of the Lord, I remember.
Once backstage, the two men wrestled together.
Autumn night, the Grand Canal, the moon on the thousands of miles of floating light jumping gold, a few of us, often driving a boat, swinging in the river, Liu Tianle and Li Errong accompanied by Chen Yihong solo, the song "Qing Ling Ling water blue sky," I was mesmerized.
During the break, Liu Tianle said: I say a riddle for you to guess, each sentence to play a word.
He said: eighteen sons of a family, grow up separate families, eight people live under one roof.
Li Errong asked: you are not right, eighteen sons divided into two, a family of eight, two eight sixteen, there are still two less.
Liu Tianle then said: two houses can not live, drive out a pair of big eight.
We all looked at each other and couldn't guess what word it was.
After a while, Chen Yihong snorted a laugh, lying on the boat straight shouting mom.
Liu Tianle is still in the spirit of face looking at Li Errong did not say anything.
Li Errong puzzled to ask Chen Yihong: What is so funny, you laugh like this?
Hearing him ask, Chen Yihong stomped on the board, pounded Li Errong said: Liu Tianle scolded your brothers and sisters are bastards!
Li look at Chen Yihong, and look at Liu Tianle, still can not find the answer. Chen Yihong wiped his tears and said: eighteen sons, eighteen is wood, eighteen sons is Lee, eight people live in a house, you see how the word "Rong" is written, but Baogai below the eight population, that is, eight mouths live in a house, your name in the middle of the word, that is, two houses live in two of the eight people. These eighteen sons, living into the sixteen, the only two of your brothers and sisters son of a bitch kicked out!
Li Errong then realized!
On the boat, a few people jostled into a mess, the boat in the clear waves of the happy ass, the stars in the sky laughing in the eyes, the moon mother-in-law did not pay attention, laughing and laughing fell into the water.
Thinking of those youthful years, I am still laughing in my heart!
First of all, thank you very much for being here to answer this question for you, let me lead you into this question, now let's explore together.
I have stayed in a small theater troupe, when life was difficult, the commune gave the troupe a piece of river bank land to plant a vegetable garden, planting vegetables when busy, singing opera when idle; planting vegetables during the day and singing opera at night.
The male lead in the troupe surnamed Liu, called Liu Tianle, usually walking always tilted his head, acting very seriously, on the surface, he is silent, but when he speaks, let you laugh your stomach; female lead called Chen Yihong, smart and clever, sweet voice, just a slight limp on the left leg, do not look closely, not to be detected. The audience gave them the nicknames: Liu Tianle, the crooked-headed boy, and Chen Yihong, the crippled lady.
There is also a clown actor named Li Errong, the second in line at home, the most funny, is the troupe's living treasure.
With them, we were happy every day and couldn't stop laughing.
At that time, I was only fifteen years old, picking two buckets of water is very difficult, especially when climbing the slope more difficult. That day, I picked the water to the embankment to climb, Chen Yihong in the vegetable field said: Xiao Zhu, I sing to you listen to opera.
Said, she sang a Lv Opera "Li Er Sister-in-law remarried", the lyrics have such a sentence: I wish someone to pull me a hand ......, she sang while looking at me and laughing.
They laughed in the ground, I laughed on the slope, the more I laughed, the less energy, the bucket shook on the shoulder, laughed and fell on the slope, even with the bucket gurgle gurgle rolled down.
They rushed to help me, Li Errong said: give you a water tank you also pick full, you want to pick less, can not use Li Er sister-in-law to help you.
These are the first time I've ever seen a woman in the world, and I've never seen her in the world.
The crowd laughed again.
Once Li Errong and Liu Tianle with a play, one of the plot, Li Errong said to Liu Tianle: command ear over, and then cooed for a while, Liu nodded his head and said: the words of the adults, the little man remembered.
On the surface, it looks as if Li said some confidential words to Liu, in fact, the script does not have a line.
One day, when this episode came up, Li said softly to Liu: You are my own son, you must remember.
Liu knew that Li was scolding him, but forced by the plot, and had to promise: the words of the Lord, I remember.
Once backstage, the two men wrestled together.
Autumn night, the Grand Canal, the moon on the thousands of miles of floating light jump gold, a few of us, often driving a boat, swinging in the river, Liu Tianle and Li Errong accompanied by Chen Yihong solo, the song "Qing Ling Ling water blue sky," I was mesmerized.
During the break, Liu Tianle said: I say a riddle for you to guess, each sentence to play a word.
He said: eighteen sons of a family, grow up separate families, eight people live under one roof.
Li Errong asked: you are not right, eighteen sons divided into two, a family of eight, two eight sixteen, there are still two less.
Liu Tianle then said: two houses can not live, drive out a pair of big eight.
We all looked at each other and couldn't guess what word it was.
After a while, Chen Yihong snorted a laugh, lying on the boat straight shouting mom.
Liu Tianle is still in the spirit of face looking at Li Errong did not say anything.
Li Errong puzzled to ask Chen Yihong: What is so funny, you laugh like this?
Hearing him ask, Chen Yihong stomped on the board, pounded Li Errong said: Liu Tianle scolded your brothers and sisters are bastards!
Li look at Chen Yihong, and look at Liu Tianle, still can not find the answer. Chen Yihong wiped his tears and said: eighteen sons, eighteen is wood, eighteen sons is Lee, eight people live in a house, you see how the word "Rong" is written, but Baogai below the eight population, that is, eight mouths live in a house, your name in the middle of the word, that is, two houses live in two of the eight people. These eighteen sons, living into the sixteen, the only two of your brothers and sisters son of a bitch kicked out!
Li Errong then realized!
On the boat, a few people jostled into a mess, the boat in the clear waves of the happy ass, the stars in the sky laughing in the eyes, the moon mother-in-law did not pay attention, laughing and laughing fell into the water.
Thinking of those youthful years, I am still laughing in my heart! In the above sharing about the answer to this question are personal opinions and suggestions, I hope I share the answer to this question can help you.
Here at the same time also hope that you can like my share, you if there is a better answer to this question, but also hope to share the comments out *** with the discussion of this topic.
I finally here, I wish you all a happy work happy life every day, healthy life every day, home and everything is prosperous, year after year, business is booming, thank you!
As a funny field of creators, I am very happy to share my thoughts, I am a very like a variety of funny paragraph of the people, life is also a comical character of the existence of the same, I think it is because of the funny funny things, life will become so colorful, I will I say I have heard of the funny paragraph.
Last Sunday, I went back to my hometown to see my grandparents. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that, but I'm sure I'm going to be able to do it. We'll talk about it. I'm not going to be able to do that. When I saw the half of the little uncle suddenly stomach ache. He went to the toilet to take a shit ...... A few minutes later... Suddenly, I heard a sentence come out of the toilet: "Ah~~~~~~~~ damn it! My grandma went to the toilet and scolded the little uncle, saying: "You're such a big man. Still say dirty words! Uncle: Sorry ah ``Mother. I was just wiping my pussy... I was in the middle of wiping. I suddenly had a runny nose. It is very natural to take the hand of the toilet paper up to wipe the nose of the ....
Every time I think of this feel very embarrassed, and once, in the unit cafeteria to open the water. Accidentally water splashed on the hand, behind a young lady pulled my hand with concern and asked: "hand did not burn it?" Although very painful, but in order to show manliness I gritted my teeth and said "nothing, nothing." And I pretended that nothing had happened. The lady suddenly turned back to the people in line behind her and said, "All go back, today's water is not boiling again."
This is my personal experience of the funny paragraph event.
The funny bits will pass with the passage of time and our acceptance of new things, and they will not be funny for a long time!
We have to create a constant stream of paragraphs to win everyone's happiness. As a dedicated funny guy, I'll edit a few funny paragraphs.
The first action figure is either flying in the start, or crazy in the start!
Motion picture two, ghost fire boy: "my life from the beginning of the ghost fire, from the moment of the end of the fall, pain is not important, the important handsome"!
Motion picture three, break free from your bondage only to be free to square dance!
Motion picture four, my grandfather paralyzed in bed for three years, saw this motion picture, suddenly a step of ten meters, flying eaves and walls, so far the whereabouts of unknown!
Motion picture five, not old brother ran fast, next year Qingming grave see!
The funniest paragraphs? A lot, a lot, for example, I and a female student of music, I asked her what instruments she would some, she said her favorite blowjob, I said to her you will blowjob? She said yeah! I said my favorite blowjob, and then I chased her for more than a year, and finally caught up with her, and lived happily ever after for more than three years, and honestly, she really liked blowjob, and the sound was so nice and comfortable, and it felt so good!
And talk about the second girlfriend, the beginning of the tease her when I asked her what her last name, she said her last name Xiao, I went straight back to a beautiful woman Hello, my last name is Cui, we are the combination of the blowjob, to give her a smile, and then we got together, and live happily ever after for more than a year, but feel that she still does not have the feeling of the first girlfriend is good, the first girlfriend is really very love of music, love the blowjob, sound really good, very comfortable, feel good!