But the second half of the sentence is so famous that it makes the first sentence obsolete and attracts all the gimmicks and attention.
In fact, there is no standardized form of these words, which means that there is no standard answer, I think even if it is said as "There is no filial son in front of the bed of the sick for a long time, and there is a lot of right and wrong in front of the widow's door," it will not be harmful to the general public - naturally, it is still a gimmick.
(a)
Ancient rural widower on the roof of course not easy to see the smoke, which is at least divided into four cases:
visiting friends and relatives, calling friends, drinking and socializing went; the old have nothing to rely on, rely on relatives and friends to go; is purely will not cook, do not love to cook, rather choking steamed buns, eating pickles, drinking cold water, fasting hard, chewing icing sugar ...... also do not make a fire. I grew up in the countryside since I was a child, and just in terms of the rural areas where we are, whether it is the old people who have lost their children or their macho fathers, it can be said that those who do not know how to cook can be said to account for 99% of the total.In today's countryside, people are living a better life, and most of them have electrical appliances and biogas in their homes, not to mention the smoke from the cooking!
Remembering that when I was a child, whenever the sun rises, lunch breaks, sunset, in the beams behind the house, you can see the bay before the bay, mouth on the mouth of the next (our rural areas, the name of the place to the xx bay, xx mouth mostly), the chimney side of the family, the roof are dazzled with the smoke, and ultimately heavy atmosphere to the tops of the trees of the large swaths of the bay has flocks of cranes, and occasionally lazy flight on the as if strolling on the clouds. Sometimes when my father was around, he would tell me, "Have you ever heard of 'smoke from the fire and more smoke from the night'? This is it."
And what about the widower who went out of the house?
One of the coolest and most heartless phrases I've ever read is that there are three great joys of being an official: promotion, wealth, and death of one's wife.
Even Yuan Zhen, who wrote "once the sea is hard to water, except for the witch mountain is not a cloud", after the death of his first wife Wei, has been entangled with the production of Xue Tao paper Xue Tao, An, Pei Shu, Liu Caichun, etc.;
And our old Mr. Su Dongpo, who is a literary genius. "Ten years of life and death, do not think about it, since it is hard to forget" to open a thousand eulogy of the precedent, but also for the eulogy of the best song, after the death of Wang Fu, the old Mr. Wang Fu cousin Wang Leunzhi renewed, and there is no name of the Chaoyun. Chaoyun left, the old gentleman wrote a couplet:
Anachronism, only Chaoyun can know me;
Only play the ancient tune, every twilight rain times think of Qing.
So ah, no one will really remember who for the rest of their lives, parents deceased, but also "children crying three times to find board, women crying three times to find bowl", loved one deceased, you want him to take the flowers lazy review? You want him to live his life as if it were the first time he saw it?
Sorry, I'm busy!
It is not easy to change the heart of the old man, but the old man's heart is easy to change.
That's all.
(2)
Today's society, there are few people who like to talk about the widow's rights and wrongs. Nowadays, the entertainment life is very rich, there really are widowed women, if their husbands died in the line of duty or on the job, they take the compensation, either married (children for others to play, house for others to live, bed for others to sleep), or square dancing, chess club, teahouse, travel, chatting about the day busy, even if the people of the subtle nonsense chewing the root of the matter ah!
This is undoubtedly a positive and optimistic attitude to life, uncle in the family father died 70 days later, once told me: "that child ah, so long ago, it should turn the page! This is the same as reading a book, one page to finish reading the next page. Also tell your mom to be open-minded and optimistic!" Uncle should be 73 years old this year, never run the jungle, yet even he has such insight, I admire him.
And how was it in ancient times?
First, the talented woman:
Li Qingzhao married Zhang Ruzhou in the third year after Zhao Mingcheng's death. This man was a real scumbag, and when he failed to raid his wife's belongings, he would fight her with his fists and feet. Li Qingzhao would rather sit in jail for three years according to the law, but also sued the officials for divorce.
How to pass the "miserable" life? There were flowers and wine, books and poems, and, of course, horseback riding.
And then there's the most famous woman of all time: the widow Qing.
This was a woman who surprised Emperor Qin Shi Huang. After her husband's death, she busied herself with business and became rich with her strong financial power. Qin Shihuang honored her chastity, named her a chaste woman, and built a female Huaiqing Terrace for her. She was one of the main providers of the large amount of mercury in the mausoleum of Qin Shi Huang.
Secondly, there are some ordinary women -
"Jin Shu - Lianzhuan 66" Du Youdao's wife Yan, eighteen widows, vowed not to change the festival, raising their children, teaching them etiquette, so that the son is famous, the woman is also Shude.
Pi Jing's wife, Long's, was married at the age of thirteen, but in less than a year her husband died, and her two brothers-in-law died with her, so she had no choice but to sell her dowry and spinning and weaving, and then enjoy the sacrifices after the burial. She vowed not to remarry, and died after living in poverty for more than fifty years.
In fact, the Twenty-four Histories have specialized biographies of women since the Book of the Later Han Dynasty, and there are many stories of widows in these biographies.
We can say that the widows who have made a name for themselves have made it into the history books, and when they were born, there may have been a lot of right and wrong in front of their doors, but they have finally been recognized by the official history. This kind of recognition in today's view of course is a kind of dregs, is the feudal rites of poison, but can not stand the social climate at that time, so that everyone is willing to do.
Just pity those women, late at night when no one, sleepless, or counting the beads chanting, or with embroidery needles thighs self-mutilation, or playing horses and drinking wine indulgence ...... is not a sentence of misery can be described?
I especially like the true nature of the magistrate:
Received a petition, written "seventeen married, eighteen widowed, Gongzhuang uncle big, melon field Lixia, married or not married?"
With a stroke of the pen, "Marry!"
Fast!