Talking about life with a 5 1 year-old aunt sounds unavoidable.
At this moment, she really felt human life. It's really short or long. After asking my age, she smiled: "When I went out to work, I was as old as you."
She told the story of that year as if it were fresh in her memory.
At that time, the conditions were undoubtedly far worse than now.
She still remembers that they went out by boat, next to their husband who had been married for two years. Because I heard that working outside is more profitable than farming at home, I went out to try.
Her voice said softly, "Time flies, so many years have passed quickly."
Time is ruthless, and time goes by. Some pasts are like a jar of wine. After a long time, the taste is more mellow and fragrant, while others are like unopened boiled water that has evaporated in the air.
Indeed, everyone's life is like a book. Some people's stories are ups and downs, and some people's stories are plain as usual, but in any case, they are all their own lives.
In life, she has mixed feelings, each with its own advantages and disadvantages.
She regrets her marriage because she still regrets the man she married until now. If she had not chosen him, she said that her life should not be so bitter.
When she said this before, her husband smiled disdainfully: "You still have the cheek to say that if you hadn't taken care of me, I might have gone out and made a splash."
Every time she heard such words, she almost laughed at herself and said that he was such a person. Anyway, he never admits his mistakes. If he is wrong, he need not say that he is right, and he will never regret it.
Because of this feature of her husband, they have quarreled many times in their marriage over the years, and her original good temper has also been polished. Because there is no money at home, when he is not considerate, she really can't control her temper.
The lack of money at home is caused by her husband.
02
When they went out to work, her husband had a big heart and obviously didn't have that ability. He lost money for the first time when he wanted to do business with people.
This time, she didn't say anything. They paid off their debts after working for many years.
She said that in those years, she was really economical. Every day after work, she goes to the vegetable market to pick up unwanted leaves. She only wants to fry one for her husband.
She is a very traditional woman. In the past, she put her family first and her husband last, so she suffered a lot, but no one cherished her.
Later, after paying off the account, my husband felt that he had no burden and went to do business with others. Without exception, he still lost money. She said he was honest, not material, but her husband thought he was nice and wouldn't listen to her. Finally, the task of paying the bill fell to her again.
Still can only rely on her to save, because the income of two people is only a little every month, so it is not easy to save.
Her husband didn't feel guilty, didn't say a word from beginning to end, and didn't feel sorry for her, as if all this was taken for granted. Even in the end, she said that she managed herself well and wouldn't let him go out and break in, which caused difficulties at home.
She said: "If we really let him break in, it is estimated that our family will be sleeping on the street now!"
However, as for the result of this question, they never agree on the answer. Just like other things in life, almost two people hold different views.
Therefore, quarrels happen from time to time.
Her husband is one-track minded and never knows how to let her go.
In her eyes, she said that he really can't pick out any benefits. He is lazy, he does nothing at home, he is not considerate, he can't make money, he can't talk, he has no sense of responsibility, and he is particularly easy to satisfy. He has food today, so he doesn't want to worry about tomorrow.
She really worried all her life.
03
Marriage can be said to be the biggest robbery in her life, and it is also the key factor to change her life.
She used to cry, complain and be hysterical in her marriage, but her husband was indifferent. She felt cold and married the wrong person, but her inner tradition did not allow her to divorce.
Now, she says that after she reached the age of 50, she suddenly figured out a lot of things. She also said that after this age, women should learn two things so that they won't be late and spend the rest of their lives easily.
The first truth: don't care too much about the small details in life, relax, you should make yourself happy.
Yes, she said that after so many years of marriage, she has been worried about big things and small things, her temper is getting worse and worse, and there are more and more places where she doesn't like her husband.
Until a year ago, an aunt they often played with died suddenly, but she was only 49 years old. She also worked hard for a family all her life. Half an hour before she fainted, people were still washing dishes.
From this time on, she said that she felt the fragility of life. A person's life is very short, so it is most important to be happy and smooth.
Later, she said that she was too lazy to care about her husband's bad habits. Anyway, after so many years, he couldn't change, and finally made himself angry and annoyed.
She began to take herself as the center, went out to dance square dance with others in the evening, worked out on her mobile phone video, learned to cook, and learned to sing with others. She said that she should always make herself happy.
As for the person who quarreled with herself for most of her life, she said that only by relaxing and not caring so much can she live less tired.
When thinking like this, she said that she felt that her life was really much easier.
The second truth: don't focus all your energy on family and children, you should have your own fun and life.
Aunt said that the focus of her life is only her husband and children, revolving around these things. But later, my daughter got married and married far away. Generally speaking, she can only come back once a year. She is inevitably lonely and unhappy.
Later, I found out that when I was 50 years old, I had a lot to do.
As mentioned above, she later enriched her spare time, and with a group of peers of similar age, she did nothing, chatted, went shopping, and even climbed mountains for picnics, and her life was much more interesting.
Her mental state is much better now. Even the daughter said that the longer the mother is, the younger she is.
04
If one's life is compared to a way forward, different ages will have different scenery.
When we are young, we have the brilliance of youth, but with the growth of age, we should also have the warmth and calmness of our old age. We always recall the beauty of the past, but we should also seize the beauty of the present.
When a woman reaches the age of 50, the road of life has actually been basically set. In other words, it is difficult to set off a new grandeur on this road, just a slow road.
What you can do is to add more embellishments to this walk, make time more interesting and make your life better and better. This goodness does not mean material abundance, but inner peace.
In this way, life at the age of 50 can still be wonderful.